Answers to reviews:
Guest250: You'll have to wait and see.
Temsen: I have a plan for that, don't worry.
Shiva547: Give it time, will you?
Guest02957: Thanks.
Drumsturdy: Hmm a giant serpent that is wrapped around the entire world and has battled Thor himself against a tentacled monster who isn't as long as the serpent... I'd say the Serpent would win. All he has to do is coil and sink his teeth into the Kraken.
jedblack1997: Apparently, Zeus, Hades and Poseidon had a event where they each drew straws to determine who would be ruler of which domain. Hades drew the short straw, meaning he'd rule the Underworld, while Zeus drew the biggest straw meaning he'd get Olympus. There are various versions, where Zeus did draw the short straw but threw a temper tantrum about it until he was given Olympus... or that he rigged the whole thing from the start so he'd still get the sky.
AlexBeowolf2: Thanks.
Disclaimer: I do not own God of War or Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I only own the OC Jakob Thorsson.
They stood in the shadows of Valencia Boulevard, looking up at gold letters etched in black marble: DOA RECORDING STUDIOS.
Underneath, stencilled on the glass doors: NO SOLICITORS. NO LOITERING. NO LIVING.
It was almost midnight, but the lobby was brightly lit and full of people. Behind the security desk sat a tough-looking guard with sunglasses and an earpiece. All he needed was a donut.
Andromeda turned to the group. "Okay. You remember the plan."
"The plan," Grover gulped. "Yeah, I love the plan."
"What happens if the plan doesn't work?" Annabeth asked, worry in her tone.
"Don't think negative," Andromeda suggested.
"Right," she said. "We're entering the Land of the Dead, and I shouldn't think negative."
Andromeda took the pearls out of her pocket.
Annabeth put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Andie. You're right, we'll make it. It'll be fine."
She gave Grover a nudge.
"Oh, right!" he chimed in. "We got this far. We'll find the master bolt and save your mum. No problem."
"It's only the Greek Underworld, it's not like you're going into Helheim." Mimir piped in.
"That doesn't really help, but I see what you're trying to do." Jakob nodded and looked at the others. "Trust me, if it was Hel you were going too... it would be worse. But don't worry, we've got this. I have no intention of dying and having my soul trapped in this Realm of the Dead."
"Not sure Hades would be able to do that... but I'm not going to challenge him in that regard." Mimir said quickly.
Andromeda smiled at all of them, her friends. Who have had her back since the start of the quest. They have been through a lot since they left Camp Half-Blood. The Furies, Medusa, Echidna, Lamia, Ares, the Lotus Hotel, Annabeth and Grover nearly ended up stretched to death, and now they were going to confront Hades himself.
She put the pearls back into her pocket. "Let's do this."
They walked inside the DOA lobby.
Muzak played softly on hidden speakers. The carpet and the walls were steel grey. Pencil cactuses grew in the corners like skeleton hands. The furniture was black leather, and every seat was taken. There were people sitting on couches, people standing up, people staring out the windows. or waiting for the elevator. Nobody moved, or talked, or did much of anything.
"Ah, the souls of the dead waiting to enter the Underworld." Mimir said grimly. "Helheim has something similar."
The security guard's desk was a raised podium, so they had to look up at him.
He was tall and elegant, with chocolate-coloured skin and bleached-blonde hair shaved military style. He wore tortoiseshell shades and a silk Italian suit that matched his hair. A black rose was pinned to his lapel under a silver name tag.
Jakob stepped forward. "So you're Charon, Ferryman of the Dead."
Charon glanced up from whatever he was reading and raised an eyebrow at Jakob. "What's it to you, kid?"
"We want to enter the Underworld." Jakob said bluntly.
Charon's mouth twitched. "Well, that's a new one."
"It is?" Annabeth asked.
"Straightforward and honest. No screaming. No 'There must be a mistake, Mr. Charon.'" He looked them over. "How did you die, then?"
"Hit by a bus." Jakob shrugged.
Charon nodded, as if he'd experienced the situation before. "Yeah, there are a lot of cases for you guys. 'Don't get run over,' I said. 'Why can't you die a decent death, ya know?' Honestly, you people won't shut up about it all."
He grimaced but eventually sighed and stared at them with boredom. "I don't suppose you have coins for passage. Normally, with adults, you see, I could charge your American Express, or add the ferry price to your last cable bill. But with children… alas, you never die prepared. Suppose you'll have to take a seat for a few centuries."
"Oh, but we have coins." Andromeda set three golden drachmas on the counter, which was part of the stash they'd found in Crusty's office desk.
"Well, now…" Charon moistened his lips. "Real drachmas. Real golden drachmas. I haven't seen these in…"
His fingers hovered greedily over the coins.
They were so close.
Then Charon looked at Andromeda. That cold stare behind his glasses seemed to bore a hole through her chest. "Here now," he said. "You couldn't read my name correctly. Are you dyslexic, girl?"
"No," Andromeda said. "I'm dead."
"We don't have time for this shit." Jakob muttered, marching forward and he somehow managed to grab Charon and nearly pull him over podium. "Listen here, Ferryman. We request an audience with Hades himself. Now you can either let us in now... or I'll make us a way in after I put my Axe through your skull."
Jakob took off the Leviathan Axe and lined it with Charon's skull in emphasis. Charon's eyes flickered between the Axe and Jakob and they soon widened.
"You're the Aesir everyone's talking about!" Charon realized. "The Son of Thor!"
"Yes. I'm pretty sure Hades is just as curious himself, now are you going to let us in?" Jakob asked with a serious look.
"Um... s-sure, I'll load you four on... five if we include the severed head on your hip." Charon nodded, to which Jakob nodded back while ignoring Mimir's grumbling, and released the Ferryman. "Come along."
They pushed through the crowd of waiting spirits, who started grabbing at their clothes like the wind, their voices whispering things they couldn't make out. Charon shoved them out of the way, grumbling, "Freeloaders."
He escorted them into the elevator, which was already crowded with souls of the dead, each one holding a green boarding pass. Charon grabbed two spirits who were trying to get on with them and pushed them back into the lobby.
"Right. Now, no one get any ideas while I'm gone." He announced to the waiting room. "And if anyone moves the dial off my easy-listening station again, I'll make sure you're here for another thousand years. Understand?"
He shut the doors. He put a key card into a slot in the elevator panel and we started to descend.
"What happens to the spirits waiting in the lobby?" Annabeth asked.
"Nothing," Charon said.
"For how long?"
"Forever, or until I'm feeling generous."
"Oh," she said. "That's... fair."
Charon raised an eyebrow. "Whoever said death was fair, young miss? Wait until it's your turn. You'll die soon enough, where you're going."
"We will get out with our lives and souls intact." Jakob said seriously.
"Ha."
Jakob shook his head when his vison went dizzy for a second. That had stopped going down, and were now moving forward. The air turned misty. The spirits around them started changing shape. Their modern clothes flickered, turning into grey hooded robes. The floor of the elevator started swaying.
It was then Charon's creamy Italian suit had been replaced by a long black robe. His tortoiseshell glasses were gone. Where his eyes should've been were empty sockets – like Ares's eyes, except Charon's were totally dark, full of night and death and despair. The flesh of his face was becoming transparent, letting you see straight through to his skull.
The floor kept swaying.
Grover said, "I think I'm getting seasick."
The elevator wasn't an elevator anymore. They were standing in a wooden barge.
Charon was now poling them across a dark, oily river, swirling with bones, dead fish, and other stranger things – plastic dolls, crushed carnations, soggy diplomas with gilt edges. To Jakob, it was the worst river that he'd ever looked at. The Lake of Souls in Alfheim was more beautiful than this.
"The River Styx," Annabeth murmured. "It's so…"
"Polluted," Charon said. "For thousands of years, you humans have been throwing in everything you come across – hopes, dreams, wishes that never came true. Irresponsible waste management if you ask me."
Mist curled off the filthy water. Above them, almost lost in the gloom, was a ceiling of stalactites. Ahead, the far shore glimmered with greenish light, the colour of poison.
Jakob felt a hand slip into his right, and then one slip into his left. He glanced down and saw a hand clutching his own. One belonged to Annabeth, the other belonging to Andromeda. He supposed they just wanted reassurance somebody else in the boat was alive with them and he gave their hands a reassuring squeeze.
The shorelines of the Underworld came into view. Craggy rocks and black volcanic sand stretched inland about a hundred yards to the base of a high stone wall, which marched off in either direction as far as the group could see.
A sound came from somewhere nearby in the green gloom, echoing off the stone – the howl of a large animal.
"Old Three-Face is hungry," Charon said. His smile turned skeletal in the greenish light. "Bad luck for you, godlings."
The bottom of their boat slid onto the black sand. The dead began to disembark. A woman holding a little girl's hand. An old man and an old woman hobbling together arm in arm. A boy no older than they were, shuffling silently along in his grey robe.
Charon said, "I'd wish you luck, mate, but there isn't any down here."
"if it helps, we'll mention a pay rise to Hades for you." Andromeda offered, hoping that it would let them get a free trip back out when they were done with Hades.
Charon smirked at that and nodded. "Don't forget to mention it then."
He started to sing something that sounded like a Barry Manilow song as he ferried the empty barge back across the river.
The questers followed the spirits up a well-worn path.
Now, one would think the entrance to the Underworld would be the stereotypical Pearly Gates, or some big black portcullis, or something. But the entrance looked like a cross between airport security and the Jersey Turnpike.
There were three separate entrances under one huge black archway that said: YOU ARE NOW ENTERING EREBUS. Each entrance had a pass-through metal detector with security cameras mounted on top.
Beyond this were tollbooths manned by black-robed ghouls like Charon.
The howling of the hungry animal was really loud now, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. The three-headed dog, Cerberus, who was supposed to guard Hades's door, was nowhere to be seen.
The dead queued up in the three lines, two marked ATTENDANCE ON DUTY, and one marked EZ DEATH. The EZ DEATH line was moving right along. The other two were crawling.
"What do you figure?" Andromeda asked Annabeth.
"The fast line must go straight to the Asphodel Fields." The Daughter of Athena said. "No contest. They don't want to risk judgement from the court, because it might go against them."
"Ah, the three judges." Mimir said. "They switch around who sits on the bench. King Minos, Thomas Jefferson, Shakespeare, people like that. Sometimes they look at a life and decide that person needs a special reward – the Fields of Elysium. Sometimes they decide on punishment. But most people, well, they just lived. Nothing special, good or bad. So they go to the Asphodel Fields."
"And do what?" Andromeda asked curiously.
Grover said, "Imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas. Forever."
"I can think of worse punishments." Jakob scoffed.
"Same here, brother." Mimir agreed.
"Look."
A couple of black-robed ghouls had pulled aside one spirit and were frisking him to the security desk. The face of the dead man looked vaguely similar.
"He's that preacher who made the news, remember?" Grover asked.
"Oh, yeah." Andromeda did remember now. She'd seen him on TV a couple of times at the Yancy Academy dorm. He was this annoying televangelist from upstate New York who'd raised millions of dollars for orphanages and then got caught spending the money on stuff for his mansion, like gold-plated toilet seats, and an indoor putt-putt golf course. He'd died in a police chase when his 'Lamborghini of the Lord" went off a cliff.
Andromeda asked, "What're they doing to him?"
"Probably some special punishment from Hades," Grover assumed. "The really bad people get his personal attention as soon as they arrive. The Fur – the Kindly Ones will set up an eternal torture for him."
The thought of the Furies made Andromeda shudder. She was in their home field now, and old Mrs. Dodds would be licking her lips with anticipation.
"But if he's a preacher," Andromeda said with a knitted brow in thought, "and he believes in a different hell…"
"That's a long story, sister." Mimir cut in before Andromeda could go any further. "Like Jakob mentioned earlier when he referenced the Devil, it's a whole different story. Just leave it at that."
They got closer to the gates. The howling was so loud now it shook the ground at their feet, but they still couldn't figure out where it was coming from.
Then, about fifty feet in front of them, the green mist shimmered. Standing just where the path split into three lanes was an enormous shadowy monster.
They hadn't seen it before because it was half-transparent, like the dead. Until it moved, it blended with whatever was behind it. Only its eyes and teeth looked solid. And it was staring straight at them.
"I assume we're now facing Cerberus." Mimir said, Jakob lifting the head off his hip to show him. "Oh dear."
"He's a Rottweiler." Andromeda gaped.
"Were you expecting a Doberman?" Jakob retorted.
"No... more of a black mastiff." Andromeda admitted sheepishly.
The dead walked up to him – no fear at all. The ATTENDANT ON DUTY lines parted on either side of him. The EZ DEATH spirits walked right between his front paws and under his belly, which they could do without even crouching.
"I'm starting to see him better," Andromeda muttered. "Why is that?"
"I think…" Annabeth moistened her lips. "I'm afraid it's because we're getting closer to being dead."
"Or we're getting accustomed to the Underworld," Mimir suggested. His suggestion seemed more positive, so he stuck with it.
The dog's middle head craned towards them. It sniffed the air and growled.
"It can smell the living," Andromeda said with a gulp.
"But that's okay," Grover said, trembling next to him. "Because we have a plan."
"Right," Annabeth said. They'd never heard her voice sound quite so small.
"Anyone have a big stick to play fetch with him?" Mimir asked nervously. He died once by decapitation, he wasn't intending to die permanently by becoming a dog's meal. "Or music to play for him to fall asleep too?"
"This is not Harry Potter." Jakob reminded him, before his eyes widened and he reached into his backpack for something. he smirked as he drew... an MP3 player.
'Guess I was right in taking this from the Lotus Casino.' Jakob thought with a smirk, having spotted it at some point and swiped it since it never hurts to listen to some good tunes.
Markus pressed the play button, and instantly a theme song began to play. Specifically, the Darth Vader theme song.
The growling three heads stopped and turned to Jakob, as did the group. The three dog heads were swaying to the theme as he sat down with a small quake, sitting on some of the spirits of the dead. His tail was wagging happily to the theme his master would play when he was having souls tortured.
Jakob almost laughed at how the situation played out. So the big bad Cerberus loved music? Well he wasn't complaining.
Eventually the three heads' eyes began to dim. Seeing this chance, Jakob turned to the others and whispered, "Go. I'll catch up."
"What about you?" Andromeda asked.
"I need to constantly repeat it," Jakob said. "Go."
Cerberus' heads started to yawn and laid down on his belly to listen more.
Seeing this, the group quickly went around Cerberus, catching up with the rest of the spirits at the entrance. When they got there, they waved at Jakob to follow.
Jakob, still playing the Darth Vader theme on his MP3, ran after the group, sliding under Cerberus' belly, where an opening was available.
Cerberus' heads growled, hearing that his music disappeared from in front of him. He barked loudly, making more mini quakes as he did.
Jakob ran to join the others at the metal detector.
"How did you do that?" Andromeda asked him, amazed.
Jakob shrugged. "Swiped the MP3 player from the Lotus Hotel, didn't know it would play Darth Vader's theme but it's a good theme."
"We can talk about it later," Grover said. "Come on!"
They were about to bolt through the EZ DEATH line when Cerberus moaned pitifully from all three mouths. Jakob stopped, and turned towards the dog.
Cerberus panted expectantly, waiting for more music to listen to.
"Good boy," Jakob said, sounding uncertain as he said it.
The monster's head turned sideways, as if worried about him.
"I'll bring you a whole lot of songs to listen to," Jakob said, his voice sounding more certain. He didn't know why he was saying that, since he didn't plan to make any more trips to the Underworld that weren't necessary. But the more he thought about it, he pitied the monster. Plus, despite his appearance. He was really just a dog that wanted entertainment. And Jakob planned to give that to him.
He was a dog lover. sue him.
Cerberus' heads turned towards him, looking unsure.
"I promise," Jakob said, with utmost certainty. He then turned towards the group. "Let's go."
"I don't think you can freely go in and out of the Underworld as you please." Mimir pointed out to the Son of Thor.
"Shut up."
Grover and Andromeda pushed through the metal detector, which immediately screamed and set off flashing red lights. "Unauthorized possessions! Magic detected!"
Cerberus began to bark.
The kids burst through the EZ DEATH line, which started even more alarms blaring, and raced into the Underworld.
A few minutes later, they were hiding, out of breath, in the rotten trunk of an immense black tree as security ghouls scuttled past, yelling for backup from the Furies.
As they hid, Andromeda's mind wondered. Even here in the Underworld, everybody – even monsters – needed a little attention once in a while. She thought about that as the questers waited for the ghouls to pass.
And that's it for this chapter everyone. Yeah, I puled a Harry Potter by having Cerberus listening to Darth Vader's theme because... why the hell not?
Harem: Silena Beauregard, Thalia Grace, Katie Gardner, Annabeth Chase, Andromeda Jackson (Female Percy), Bianca Di Angelo, Zoe Nightshade, Thrúd, Freya, Artemis, Athena, Hestia, Skadi.