Summary: Because sometimes, the simplest way to ask for help is just voicing it. A Chaldean Master relearns it with her closest Servants, letting them back into a heart that's been hurt far too much.

Note: Since going back into the workforce (surprisingly at my old undergraduate campus, just in the hospital part of it) on Dec. 19, near the end of 2022, I've been slowly recalling all the things from the year so far. Being in two different labs, both which helped and mistreated me, losing my grandfather, and hashing things out with my parents.

And even with his many flaws, my boyfriend's still my real life Robin in how he dropped everything at the news of Ong Ngoai's death when I started to cry over the phone, driving over just to hug me and take me out for dinner. He even brought a change of clothes and a toothbrush, sleeping over for the night to make sure I wasn't alone. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

So, here's my exploration of that, in a different universe but with the same intentions nonetheless. Consider this a direct sequel to Day 52 and Carim/GlyphArchive's story of How Deep the Bullet Lies.

This is for you and Lunar, Carim. This is also for Leo. I love you all very very much.

Content warning for implied gore, by the way.

The theme for this chapter is Polaris by Blue Encount, the first opening to the fourth season of My Hero Academia. Even if I dropped the anime, I still loved Eri and Deku's arc, and the opening's lyrics really fit with what I wanted to convey.

Please enjoy.

Day 53: Polaris

Even in the tight unforgiving grip of grayed hands, the faces staring at her were loving. Familiar. Safe. Even with the slowly dripping blood and the incoming teeth.

"We love you, Be Vy. We always will—"

Ba gets chomped on first, and he doesn't even scream as the zombies start to make a meal out of him. Má even smiles when the undead swarm her too, her mouth forming a heart shape in Vy's direction once the enemies bite, and Vy screams.

"Why didn't you save us, Be Vy?" Anh Huy is the only one choking on his blood when she turns around to look into his brown eyes, and a grimace is on his face as the zombies clamber past Ba and Má's skeletons to reach him too. "Why didn't you save us?"

"I-I tried, I tried—!"

"You haven't changed one bit." Vy turns to see him, the friend who shouldn't exist anymore, standing in Anh Huy's shadow as the zombies groan around them. "You're still a weak mouse who can't do anything on her own. What's the point of you living, then?"

"I—"

The next thing Vy knows, her eyes are flying open as words in her blood's original tongue leave her throat in a hurry, all caught up in a sudden sob as she chokes. It takes her a moment to realize her left hand's up in the air, extended towards the ceiling to grasp nothing between her fingers as the red lotus Command Seals marking her as Master glow ominously in the darkness. The red markings even shine past the bandages keeping the new blisters "earned" from earlier that day away from view.

Darkness. Right. It's nighttime, I was supposed to be asleep to make up for my lack of a daily nap, I'm in my room, I'm in Novum Chaldea— Vy chokes again, shutting her eyes and bringing her arm down against her eyes. "Damn it."

It had to be the zombies haunting her after everything in the simulator and the Grailed reaching out to her earlier. Vy couldn't forget how quiet Achilles sounded in asking her to come home, how driven Arturia was in telling her she deserved to be saved, how desperate Robin acted in firing the bolts that helped end that Daybit simulation while begging her to let them all back in. And even back then, through the blisters, blood, pus, sweat, and grime — Vy knew letting them in was a risk. After all, her Grailed were still Heroic Spirits — ALL with their own fair share of problems — the last thing Vy ever wanted was to burden them with hers.

Mash was still suffering. The other Chaldea staff were too, if not more so.

Vy had to be strong, she had to suck it up, she had to hold it in—

That's what she thought until Achi, Art-san, and Big Robin all hugged her and told her not to.

Another sob surfaced in her throat and Vy belatedly realized with her tangled hair and wet arms that nothing was getting done. She wasn't getting anywhere.

So with a heavy gulp of air, she pushed back her blankets to sit up.

"—don't want to have her on a forced schedule like a child! That's not going to help anything after what the Mage's Association and Goredolf did to her!"

"What else are we supposed to do, then?!"

"Not treat her like an invalid who doesn't know what to do, that's what! We need to change the approach here!"

"Both of you, calm yourselves! Yelling will not solve the problem!"

In front of the sliding door that served as the Grail Lounge's main entrance, Vy glanced at it with apprehension, keeping her copy of No Face May King tucked close to her chest along with the one pillow she had the strength to grab for the night as she raised a shaky hand. The careful knock knock that echoed against the door made the hallway behind her feel all the more ominous as she waited. What little she could hear beyond the door stopped as soon as she knocked, and confused murmuring of some kind brushed her ears. Were the Grailed all talking about something?

Maybe she should've brushed her hair. Tried to smooth out her pajamas so that they weren't wrinkled and sweaty-looking. Maybe to not look like a bother—

The door opened with a whoosh. Robin — Big Robin — stood in the doorway as the door disappeared from view, the apprehensive frown on his face melting away almost immediately as his green eye took in her figure — tangled hair, sweaty pajamas and all. "Vy?" The voice that said her name was soft, loving — safe — and Vy felt her nose seize up first. "Little sparrow, what's the matter?"

"I—" Vy gulps, but her vision blurs even past the normal astigmatism and nearsightedness that comes with her lack of glasses, and she can hear familiar voices clamoring past Robin's shoulders, turning more and more worried by the second as the first traitorous tear slips down her cheek. She's at least sure Robin's eyes were widening at the sight of her choking now. Just, goddammit, self-composure had long flown out the window, it seemed. "I had a nightmare," she eventually forces out past the massive growing urge to cry, shaking her head and hugging the No Face May King replica to her chest as she pressed her nose into the green fabric. "Bad one. Is it okay if— if I—" the words burn her throat from how selfish and fragile they sound, but she still tries. "Could I just stay with you tonight? I-Is that okay?"

Could you hug me too? Please?

Vy doesn't know if Robin heard her thoughts or not. Heck, Robin doesn't even breathe as a hand reaches over to grab hers and pull her in, something like, "Shit, little sparrow," leaving his lips. The door closes behind her like a spring-loaded trap with its newest whoosh as her tears start to soak Robin's shirt thanks to his initiating a hug like she asked for in her mind. The No Face May King replica (along with the one pillow hiding underneath its cover) is squished between them like an oddly placed teddy bear, but for some reason, Vy doesn't mind. It's Robin. "Of course it's okay," he exhales finally into her hair, pressing a fierce kiss to the top of her head as his grip tightens around her, creating a little den that Vy knew as safe. "Rider, Saber, and the others are here too. Do you want them to stick around? Have a sleepover?"

Words fail her as she nods, a new sob cutting off her latest attempt to breathe, and she can faintly hear the other Servants start to move around (did Robin ask them to?), the soft hum of magic use echoing in the air as tables and other furniture are scooted elsewhere. More cloth was being rustled too. Was Skadi using magic? "I—" Vy presses her face into the first little crook she can find in Robin's embrace, sniffling to hold back the snot as she inhales shakily. "I hate zombies, Big Robin. I really really hate zombies. Wh-Why do they have to exist as a horror medium?"

"I know, little sparrow, I know they're bad," he whispers back, pressing another softer kiss to her head this time as a hand rubs her back, along the length of her spine through her pajamas. In a lighter voice, he then adds, "It definitely explained why you had me and Sanson kill every ghoul we found back in Salem before they could groan." He chuckles. "Fastest command I've ever seen, more so coming from a cute little sparrow who probably would've been screaming for her life in the video games."

It's such an innocent comment, but it sparks a shocked laugh out of Vy's dry throat anyways. "…Pfft. You found me cute then? Even when I was screaming?"

"Way before then," Robin mused, and once Vy was raising her head to meet his eyes through the tears, his lips brushed her exposed forehead in a soft peck. "Dunno exactly when. And it's no lie, I'll say the screams were cute, but we need to get you to bed first before we can talk." With a faint chuckle, he finishes with a fonder, "At least I got you to laugh again."

"Sheesh, even if I agree, with all the kisses going around here, just get a room, you lovebirds," Achilles says all of a sudden, carrying what looks like a pile of blankets and pillows over his shoulder with one arm as he cuffs the back of Robin's shoulder with the other, faking rolling his eyes as Vy watched him shakily. "Keep us jealous guys out of it, will ya?"

"You're the only other guy here aside from me and Assassin with her other gender identity, Rider," Robin points out with a groan, slowly letting Vy go in time for Musashi to flit over to her side with a blanket of her own, draping Vy's head with it. Robin then turned to face Achilles just as Shiki came in all of a sudden to push at Vy's shoulder in her own odd form of direction. "And that's rich coming from the guy who let the birds fly. Besides, we all share this room, right?"

"…Touché," Achilles yields, but he still pats Vy's head past the new blanket as Shiki continues to push Vy along, allowing the Chaldean Master to go deeper into the Grail Lounge that was slowly being reformatted. "Still, don't hog the Princess all to yourself! Even if you get the kissing rights, it makes everybody in the room jealous." To Vy, he grins, confidence filling his voice as he says in a lighter tone, "Don't worry about the 'comfort' level, Princess, we'll all be fine." The sheer affection in his yellow eyes couldn't be denied after that.

Still, despite her best efforts, Vy sniffles again, making Musashi coo something unintelligible (maybe it was an "Aw" like usual?) as more hands pat her head, and she absently wonders what is it with her loved ones and liking her head. Was there something about it that made it "pat-able"? Or was it just kissable? Shiki merely muttered something along the lines of, "C'mon, Sleeping Beauty, gotta rest sometime," before Vy was guided into sitting down onto a cot on the floor of the formerly occupied Lounge.

When did that get there? Wait — where did the tables go? Was it Skadi-san?

All the other Grailed did in response to her questioning glances was smile. It even took Vy a moment too long after that to realize Shiki was pushing her into the pile of blankets that took up her new cot, tucking her in just in time for Skadi to float the pillow she was originally holding out of her hands to place under her head. Not even the sheepish "But" on her tongue was left alone, as it was silenced by Ereshkigal's finger pressing against her lips. "Do not worry, little flower," the Underworld Goddess said in her normal tone of affection as she retracted her hand just to redirect it and brush some tangled strands of hair out of Vy's wet cheeks with finely manicured black fingernails. "You are of no trouble to us. After all, we all chose to be here. So allow us to take care of you when you don't want to be alone."

"O…Okay." Vy ducked her head into the hem of the nearest comforter as the original No Face May King proceeded to fall down on top of the newest blanket pile she was covered by, the other Grailed moving around as Ereshkigal laid down on her own black-colored cot with a smile. There was nothing else better to say, so what left her mouth was a question she probably wouldn't have asked earlier if not for the dark red shade of blood still sticking to the back of her thoughts. "Ere-chan? Do you… do you have experience with zombies?"

"Some," Ereshkigal replies smoothly, keeping her hand in reaching distance of Vy's own as she stroked the girl's cheek to wipe some of the tear trails away. "The Underworld is for the dead, my flower. But the dead I govern aren't as…" the Goddess trails off, considering her words before finishing with a softer, "ravenous as the zombies modern media show them as in your time period. And," her tone turned hard as her eyes narrowed towards something Vy couldn't see, "I would never allow such beings to harm the living, you included. Merely call my name and I will vanquish such demons from your thoughts."

Vy exhaled. "O-Oh." A tiny smile formed on her lips as she leaned into Ereshkigal's cold palm. "Th-Thankie, Ere-chan."

"Of course, Vy." One black nail stroked the side of her eye. "You're our little flower, after all."

"I agree with Lancer!" Musashi proceeded to take a cot at Ereshkigal's unoccupied side, humming a tune Vy could barely recognize. "Besides, little riceball, there's worse things than zombies!" she sing-songs, raising her arms up in the air as the sleeves of the blue "Arts"-labeled T-shirt she chose for the night slid down her elbows. "There's ghosts, ghouls, demons — it doesn't matter what they are as long as I can cut them down!"

"You and what army?" Shiki retorts dryly, smacking Musashi lightly on the head as she carries her own red bedroll to another corner of the lounge, contrasting the pat she gave to Vy's hair as she passed by. "Death lines should be enough for them."

"Hey! Don't just count me out of it!"

Another giggle involuntarily left Vy's lips as Musashi and Shiki started some kind of debate, and it didn't surprise her to feel a toned, muscular arm slowly drape itself over her waist, pulling her back into a familiar firm chest as mint tickled her nose. "As long as no forests are burned in the process, I think we're good on zombie-kill methods," Robin deadpanned over Vy's head, and turning around revealed the Archer having changed into a simple tank top and sweatpants, smiling like nothing was wrong as he steadily met her gaze. "Unless you have something else to say, little sparrow?"

"I…" What could be said, anyways? What would be okay to say, to give, without worrying him and the other Grailed more than they were already? Vy considered what was bubbling up her throat and slowly ducked her head. "I guess a-as long as none of you die?" Hugging her copy of No Face May King, Vy wasn't sure if she wanted to look up to meet Robin's gaze. She could already feel the others staring at her in surprise anyways, even through the awkward silence that permeated the lounge after she said the words to begin with. "M-My dream saw my parents, brother, and that ex-friend of mine all die," leaves her in a hurry, and she shuts her eyes. "Asking me why I'm still alive, why I-I didn't save them, even as the zombies..." Tears well up behind her eyelids, but she ignores it. She can't complete that last sentence, so what comes out of her mouth sounds more like it's coming from a selfish beggar than a person. "S-So I don't want any of you to experience that. Please."

Don't leave me. In the end, Vy knew she couldn't say that. She had to settle with what her mouth had voiced. Nothing more, nothing less.

"…Of course, Princess." It's Arturia who says it first, and a hand is patting her head just as the arm on her middle pulled her in closer, holding her tighter. Vy could breathe in the scent of mint Robin probably chewed on earlier, and the hand on her head must've been Saber's as the huddle of blankets rustled. "We won't die that easily."

"Plus if we need to research," Achilles piped in suddenly, a hint of his usual confidence leaking into his voice, "We can try to watch all the zombie movies Chaldea has in its records. Maybe even that anime that your brother seemed to like." And was that… was that Achilles raising his fist up in the air in a fist pump past his own little nook in the blanket huddle? "They can still get their heads sliced off, right?!"

Despite Robin putting in his own unspoken agreement with Rider via another kiss to Vy's forehead, Vy found herself apprehensive. "Achi," Vy started dryly, "Even if zombies can die by decapitation, that show of Highschool of the Dead is nothing more than guns, gore, boobs, and panty shots."

Achilles turned over in his cot to prop his chin up on his palm and grin over Robin's shoulder like a total doofus. "We can still try, Princess!"

"If it's actual research and not for anything else, Rider," Skadi put in delicately, a small circle of purple runes glowing in the air of the lounge above her own cot before the lights dimmed thanks to the runes disappearing from view. "Then we can partake in such activities. Maybe even over some ice cream."

"Ice cream in the winter?" Meltryllis suddenly said in disbelief, one of the few not in a cot as she chose to take the only bed in the Lounge to cross her metal prosthetic legs with a face. "Am I hearing this right?"

"Why not?" Shiki and Astarte say in unison (Astarte hanging from a nearby hammock instead of a cot to match her Grailed Alter Ego counterpart) as Vy blinks. Shiki then traced a blue line in the air with her finger, a smile in her own voice as she went on with, "Better than popcorn to me."

"Oooh, maybe we should put in popcorn—" Musashi was saying something more, but it took Vy a moment too long to realize her eyes were fluttering closed just as a shy smile tugged at her lips. Her ear being pressed against Robin's chest let her hear his heartbeat, the steady lub-dub, lub-dub of safety, and by the time the darkness took her again, she wasn't sure if she ever told the Servants "thank you."

With a distinct lack of wetness in the corners of her eyes, Vy went to sleep with the stray thought of gratitude. Not even her parents back in the pre-Chaldea days let her have a sleepover, after all.

"Whatcha doing nodding off, little miss?"

Sparkling warmth. The crinkles of tinder and firewood. A rough seat underneath her legs. Vy opened her eyes to find a rugged-looking man peering into her face, sitting on his knees to try looking at her before he smiled to expose a mix of yellow and white teeth. They seemed so bright in the face of the campfire that made up the forest setting in front of her. Wait. Forest?

"Hey, you're awake!" The man grinned wider, pure joy in his expression as he turned on his squatted heels to look in another direction. "Hey, man, your little miss is awake!"

"I can see that, but you didn't have to wake her up," a familiar voice answered, and Vy blinked as she turned her head to find an equally familiar green eye staring at her past a brown hood. Even without the usual green, Vy felt her heart leap up into her throat when her mind recognized the fringe of ginger hair and lopsided smile directed her way. While crossing his legs over the log that made up his seat, the man said, "She's not used to traveling like I am, Johnny, so she could've used some more shut-eye."

The aptly named "Johnny" still stood up to lean back and stretch his spine past his tunic with an exaggerated groan, shaking his head. "I get it, but no way am I backing out this time, man! You're the lone huntsman, and yet when going into the market, I suddenly hear ya picking up a girl?! Of course I'd be curious!" At the sight of Johnny's grin, Vy felt her hands clench the nearest thing she could find, being the hems of a light pink dress and a matching white waist apron. "Plus she's cute!"

"Um," Vy finds her voice catching in her throat once the familiar green eye is meeting her own in eye contact, something warm shining there that makes her heart skip a beat as she stammers out, "Th-Thank you?"

"Aw, no problem! No need to be shy!" Johnny cooed, scooting back to give Vy some space while she smoothed out some wrinkles in her dress. "Still, I gotta ask — what made ya go for the huntsman anyway, little miss? Was it his pretty face?"

For some reason, the words come easily to the forefront of her thoughts once Vy considers. "…Not exactly." Vy glanced at the man that would become Robin Hood in the Throne of Heroes and smiled sheepishly. Tugging at the shawl sitting on top of her hair, she murmured, "He was my hero."

Robin's green eye widened past the hood of his brown cloak and Johnny whistled. "Hero, huh? Now that's new! Didn't expect him to be a knight in shining armor! What'd he do? Sweep you off your feet?"

"…Johnny," Robin said faintly, his right hand coming up to cover his mouth. Was his cheeks starting to turn red past his hair? "Shut it."

Vy smiled again. "It's the truth, though." Closing her eyes, Vy turned her gaze up towards the sky, shining with so many stars that would put even what she remembered in modern times to shame. "It's not just the 'pretty face' or 'sweeping me off my feet' in the end. He just saved me when we first met, and he's still saving me now because he let me be by his side." Once Vy turned to meet that green eye in eye contact, her smile widened. "It's hard not to fall in love with a knight like that when we've been together ever since."

Robin turns a darker shade of red and his mouth opens, then closes without a word. Johnny says something else, something Vy can't hear this time, and then she blinks.

Buzzing. No. Was that beeping?

"Five more minutes…" Vy could faintly hear Musashi mutter, and some rustling hit her ears next. "Whose alarm is 'hat…?"

Vy squeezed her eyes shut, ducking her head back into the warmth around her. The incoming light of the room was a bit too bright as the beeping continued rather annoyingly. She could hear the other Servants mumble and groan, and someone was moving an arm from her head to press something before the beeping finally stopped.

"Sorry," Vy could hear a familiar voice mutter, and it took Vy a moment too long to realize the source of the warmth around her was the huntsman from her dreams, groggy and way too sleepy to match what she could vaguely remember. The arm around her head moved down to support her neck, affectionately brushing her long hair of any tangles that formed overnight. "I thought I turned that damn communicator off…"

Vy found herself sniffling before extending her arms past the bundle of the No Face May King replica in her chest to hug Robin tight.

"L-Little sparrow?" He sounded more awake, more aware now as she pressed her forehead into his neck, snuggling him like a teddy bear. A surprised chuckle then brushes her hair, and something soft presses against the crown of her head. "Hugging me already?"

"Aye." Vy opens her eyes to look up into Robin's own green ones, smiling past the leftover tears before she leans in to happily brush her lips against his. "Because I finally got to dream of you."

And meeting that huntsman was so much better than zombies, anyways. Even with some of the Grailed's apparent interest in Highschool of the Dead. That marathon session would be for another day, another morning.