Pink Lights and Champagne
Saif led the group towards a table in the back.
The largest table, Q very quickly realised, despite there being plenty of other tables that were perfectly capable of seating the five of them. In fact, not only could this particular table comfortably seat the five of them, it could probably seat-
Oh.
It could seat nine.
The table was in the middle of a U-shaped booth, the soft brown leather bench forming an almost perfect square, with only the side facing the rest of the pub left open. Three people could comfortably fit on each of the three sides of the booth, and even as Q watched, the double-0s slid into their "assigned" seats, leaving empty spaces between them. It probably looked more than a little odd to the rest of the occupants in the bar, but Q was already mentally filling in the gaps with the other double-0s who were currently out of the country.
As it was, 009 was sitting on the edge of the right bench and facing the main door, 003 was sitting on the edge of the left side with eyes on the emergency fire exit, and 002 and 005 were sitting against the wall, the former on the furthest left side with Saif in the middle.
It was obvious - at least to Q - that they all had their preferred seats, and him being there clearly disrupted that. However, they wouldn't have invited him if they didn't want him to join them so-
His trail of thought was abruptly cut off as Edie sighed loudly, reached up, and then promptly pulled him into her lap.
"009!" he squawked, arms automatically wrapping around her neck for balance, "Put me down this instant!"
"But you are down" she replied, feigning confusion, "You're already sitting, sweetheart".
"Yeah! On your lap!"
To his mortification, he saw a few of the other patrons giving them fond smiles, no doubt reading the scene as an innocent little omega flustered with his alpha's affections.
"Do you not like my lap? I've heard that it's quite comfortable".
There was no possible way that he could turn any more red.
"Your lap is fine, 009" he replied tightly, "What is not fine is me sitting on it! Let me go, now!"
"We're off-duty, Quartermaster, that tone of voice isn't going to work here".
Before he could quite possibly spontaneously combust, Duncan came to his rescue.
"Slide him to the inside, Edie. Preferably before he has a fucking heart attack".
"Ugh, you're no fun!" she pouted, but thankfully - thankfully - did as told, easily swinging Q over to the other side of her as if he weighed nothing. He landed on the bench with an oof and immediately began straightening out his clothes and hair, all the while glaring daggers at her. The others simply smirked, far too amused for Q's liking.
"Come here" Saif said, holding out his arm, but Q eyed him distrustfully. "Why?"
"Because I'm asking you to".
"Good one, 005, you should become a lawyer".
Charlie snorted, but Saif merely scowled at him before reaching out, grabbing a fistful of Q's shirt, and then sliding him down the entire length of the bench and around the corner until he was pressed against the alpha's side.
And also now in full view of the rest of the pub's occupants, some of whom were still watching and apparently beyond confused that this omega had just changed alpha's.
Good, Q thought viciously, let them be outraged at their own stupidly outdated views.
"You owe me some hair ruffling, Quartermaster" Saif said, drawing his attention back to the agent.
Which-
"Fine" he bit out, folding his arms across his chest.
He had promised, after all, and his decision to be petted had nothing at all to do with the fact he hadn't been properly petted in years and was aching for a friendly touch.
Nope, it had nothing to do with that.
Not. At. All.
Saif grinned and immediately pulled him closer, one arm thrown over his shoulders while the other hand came up to ruffle his hair, sending his curls into complete disarray.
The other double-0s were clearly biting back their own grins - even Duncan - and Q scowled at them fiercely. "Not. One. Word!"
"Adorable".
"Edie!"
She laughed and held up her hands in defence. "Alright, alright, no more words, I promise. I'll get the first round, shall I? The usual?"
The others all nodded and she stood up with a smirk in the omega's direction.
"And what shall it be for you, sweetheart? A glass of water? Some apple juice? A sprite?"
He glared at her, although the image was somewhat ruined by Saif continuing to pet his hair like he was some sort of house cat.
"Jack Daniels. Double. No ice".
She took a step back in surprise, and Charlie gave a low whistle.
"The котеночек has got claws".
Edie looked less impressed. "You know you don't have to compete with us, sweetheart. It's alright if you don't want to drink".
"Are you calling me a lightweight, 009?"
"No!" she quickly corrected, "No, not… necessarily. I'm only saying that… well, we've all got a pretty high alcohol tolerance, and you're just… you're just so scrawny".
"I am not a lightweight!"
"I'm not saying that you are! I just think that… you know… you have nothing to prove to us, so… so you really don't have to try and drink us under the table".
Q narrowed his eyes, leaned across the scuffed wooden surface, and replied with a deceptively soft voice.
"I won't just drink you under the table, 009, I will drink you under the earth! And while you're down there, drowning, and gasping for air, I'll simply laugh. And then I'll have another shot".
The hand in his hair abruptly stilled.
"I am so turned on right now".
"005!"
Saif simply grinned, slow and lazy and admittedly quite attractive, but Q refused to let himself dwell on that thought for too long.
"Whiskey" he repeated with a huff, turning back to 009, "Now".
Edie glanced over at the others as if searching for advice. Charlie merely shrugged, Saif was still enraptured by Q's hair, and only Duncan replied.
"I say we give the brat what he wants".
A- A brat?!
"Uh, fuck you!"
Duncan didn't even blink. "Hm? Oh, yeah, we never got round to that the other night, did we?"
Edie looked between them, sighed, and made a whatever gesture before spinning on her heels and striding across the bar. Q was somewhat amused to find that nearly every eye in the bar followed her, knowing that the majority of these hyped-up knotheads wouldn't survive a single hour in her presence.
Without 009, however, the table felt even more empty, and he wondered when the last time the double-0s had all gotten together was. As strange and violent and dangerous and - let's be real here - fucked up as the double-0 pack was, they were still just that - a pack. Their demons played well with each other and all that, and Q suddenly realised just how lonely it must be to live life as an apex predator.
They only had each other because no one else on the planet could ever even hope to understand what their life was like. If they had any relationships at all it would have to be within MI6 at the very least, but even then, the double-0s had a particularly unique brand of crazy that had the entire building simultaneously terrified yet in awe of them. They likely longed for companionship, for a genuine connection rather than a once-off fling, a real relationship with someone they trusted and loved and-
-and even wolves mated for life, after all.
He was drawn out of his thoughts by a gentle tug on his hair, and he turned to give Saif a mildly annoyed look.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"I'm not sure they're worth that much" he grumbled, but 005 gave his curls a sharper pull in admonishment. "You're right - they're worth far more. Not regretting ordering that whiskey, are you?"
"Of course not!" Q snapped, offended that he would even ask, "I'm not some fragile little teacup, you know!"
"Oh, don't worry, we do" he replied honestly, "It's not everyone that can put James in his place, after all".
James being-
"007" Q realised, "Have any of you heard from him?"
"That depends" Duncan said evenly, "Will the information get back to fucking Mallory?"
He still wasn't calling him M, then.
"Not if it doesn't threaten the security of MI6" Q replied, just as calmly, "Or England, for that matter".
003 gave Charlie a look, and the other alpha raised both eyebrows before glancing over at Saif, who responded with a grimace, which caused Duncan to give a single, sharp nod.
Q found it utterly fascinating.
"England is safe" 003 finally replied, "At least, from 007, anyway. And he's safe too".
"Does he plan on coming back?"
Saif gave a bark of laughter, but it was tinged with bitterness rather than amusement.
"We all came back, didn't we? It's not exactly the kind of job that you leave".
"Not unless it's in a body bag" Charlie quipped, oddly dark for the otherwise happy man, and Q started to wonder if James-bloody-Bond's macabre sense of humour wasn't actually a double-0-seven-thing, but instead was simply a double-0 thing.
"Would you leave?" he asked curiously, "Any of you? If you could?"
There was another silent conversation between the three alphas, before Saif leaned back in his seat, his hand leaving Q's hair and coming to rest over the back of the bench instead.
"James left. He had the perfect way out, the cleanest way of leaving that any of us could ever hope for".
"Yeah, but then he came back".
"Exactly" 005 replied, glancing over at him, "And therein lies your answer".
Edie returned with a tray of drinks in one hand and a tray of chips in the other, and Q marvelled at how she managed to balance them all. But then again, given that this woman had also broken out of a containment facility at the top of a mountain in North Korea with nothing more than a paperclip, not spilling a few drinks probably felt like a walk in the park.
"Grubs up, boys!" she announced, gracefully lowering both trays to the old wooden table, and the others all reached to take what was theirs. Charlie had what looked like a glass of vodka but smelled like raspberries and something sharp, Saif had gone for the far more traditional pint of beer, Edie had something dark purple and bitter which she drank through a straw, and Duncan-
Duncan had the most colourful fruitiest looking drink that Q had ever seen in his entire life.
He couldn't help but stare at the fancy-shaped glass containing ice and an orange wedge and then red, then orange, then yellow, then green, then blue alcohol. Q was in awe.
When Duncan noticed his staring, however, he scowled. "You say one word and I will snap you like a fucking twig!"
Three growls immediately reverberated around the table, but 003 ignored them and instead maintained eye contact with the Quartermaster.
"Well, thank you for that wonderful imagery" Q replied calmly, "But I was actually just going to ask if I could try it".
All growling stopped.
"Oh". Duncan looked strangely odd-footed, which was not an expression that Q felt he wore often. "I thought… Alright".
He slid the glass across the table and Q deftly caught it, wasting no time in taking a sip.
He immediately groaned in delight. "It's so sweet! What's in it?!"
Duncan gave as close to a smile as was possible for him. "Grenadine, rum, pineapple juice, and blue curacao. You like it?"
Charlie snorted. "I'm beginning to think that our маленький котя likes anything with too much sugar".
"I don't know" Duncan said, taking back his drink, "He could sure do with some fucking sweetening up".
"Oh, like you're one to talk!" Q snarked, pulling his whiskey closer and taking a much-needed gulp, immediately mourning the loss of sugar.
"Well, he's got you there, Duncan" Edie said, smirking, taking a sip of her vaguely cherry-smelling drink before reaching forwards and pushing the large plate of chips into the middle of the table. They were greasy and salty and fresh and Q's mouth watered at the very sight of them.
He was definitely starting to appreciate why the alphas kept coming back here.
Reaching forwards for a chip, Saif gave the omega an amused look. "What's the matter, Q? Suddenly realised that even the double-0s need to eat from time to time?"
"No, actually. I was just surprised that you lot haven't been barred yet" he immediately shot back, "Lenient barman, is it?"
"Something like that" he teased back, "John's pretty alright, for a civvie… He's an omega, too".
"What?!"
Q's head snapped towards the bar where a kind-looking older gentleman was pouring pints. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so surprised, omega's had been legally allowed to work since the '70s, after all, but there was this common conception that once they bonded, they would quit their job and stay at home and the very thought of it made him feel sick. For an omega in their fifties - at least - to be bonded and working behind a bar, of all places, it was… it felt almost revolutionary.
He immediately spun back around to face Saif with narrowed accusatory eyes.
"So that's why you're all so accepting of me! There's no way that you'd have an issue with the person who serves you alcohol!"
"... I can't tell if that was an insult or a compliment".
"Definitely an insult" Edie said lightly, "He called us alcoholics".
"But he also said that we're open-minded and accepting of other dynamics" Charlie pointed out, "I'd say that's a pretty big compliment".
Q stared at them.
"Lunatics, the lot of you".
"Like I said before, Quartermaster" Duncan replied with a smirk, "It takes one to know one".
He rolled his eyes at him.
"Just Q, if you please. We are off-duty after all, and the last thing we need is someone overhearing and asking awkward questions".
"Because us calling you by a single fucking letter of the alphabet is less weird?"
"Exponentially".
"Or you could just tell us your real fucking name".
"No thanks, I'll pass".
Edie batted her eyelashes in a way that should have made her look ridiculous, but of course, it did not, and leaned so far forwards in her seat that Q's gaze was immediately drawn to her cleavage despite his indifference towards her gender.
"Are you sure you can't tell us, sweetheart?"
No wonder she was MI6's best agent for honeypots - even Q was momentarily confused about his sexuality at the sight of those pouty cherry-stained lips and wide dark eyes.
He quickly shook himself out of it.
"Yes" he said simply, "And I suggest that you keep those advances for Miss Moneypenny, 009, because I very much do not swing that way".
The other double-0s laughed as she sighed dramatically and straightened up, grabbing a chip on her way.
"Well, it was worth a shot".
Saif gave him a rather lecherous grin, raising one arm to throw it over the back of his seat in a casual move of intimacy, his hand now barely brushing Q's neck.
"Don't swing that way, huh?"
Q raised an unimpressed eyebrow and downed the rest of his whiskey.
"Oh please, 005".
He slammed the empty glass back down on the table with a satisfying thud.
"You are so not my type".
The alpha laughed good-naturedly but didn't remove his arm from where it was just about touching Q's shoulders, and for that, the omega was oddly grateful. There was something… nice about having contact with the older man, or with anyone, really, but there was such a stigma around touching unbonded omegas that Q rarely had the chance to physically touch anyone.
Saif turned back to the others with a teasing glint in his eyes.
"Have you guys ever noticed that he only calls us by our code names in certain situations?"
"When he's annoyed". Charlie nodded. "Annoyed with us, to be more precise. In every other scenario, he uses our actual names".
"What?" Q immediately protested, stealing a handful of chips, "No I don't!"
"Name one time that you called me 002 when you were happy with me".
"... When you made me tea!"
The alpha gave him a slightly concerned look.
"Yeah. While you were asking me if I'd poisoned it!"
"But I wasn't angry with you!"
"Well, you weren't exactly happy either!
"Well, maybe the thought of drinking cyanide makes me jump for joy!"
Four identical growls reverberated around the table, loud enough for nearby customers to give them wary looks and shift in their seats uneasily.
"Oh, stand down, you idiots!" Q snapped, "Bunch of overdramatic bloody knotheads, I swear!"
The growling immediately stopped.
Edie gave Charlie a side-eyed look. "Did he just insult us?"
The blond nodded. "Oh, yeah, no, that was definitely an insult this time".
They all turned back to him, matching looks of surprise and grudging respect on their faces. Q pouted and folded his arms across his chest, refusing to cower away from them.
"Well you are! Idiots, the lot of you! Honestly, don't you think if I was going to off myself then I'd have done it before now? And not use cyanide, for that matter? Or have you all forgotten just how well that turned out for Silva!"
All four agents winced, but Q refused to feel guilty, instead wiggling his way free from under Saif's arm.
"Whatever. I'm going to get a glass of whatever the hell Duncan's drinking. Same again?"
They all nodded, although Edie did so with a grin as she refused to move, forcing him to awkwardly crawl over her lap while she remained far too amused about the whole situation. Finally, he broke free, and very ungracefully stumbled to his feet while they all smirked at him. The few strangers sitting close gave their group confused and slightly upset looks, no doubt scandalised by this omega who appeared to have more than one alpha.
Long night didn't even begin to cover it.