Moment of Truth

Q's brain temporarily shortcutted.

There was a double-0, in his arms, crying.

When he had first started this ridiculous bet, he knew that the end game was teaching the idiot knotheads a lesson but… well, that was before he had gotten to know the idiot knotheads and realised that they actually weren't so bad.

Despite their tendency to kill people.

Murderous cats, the lot of them.

But now, as they say, was the moment of truth, and despite his slight reluctance of revealing the entire prank, he really did want to know who won.

"Edie? What on earth is the matter?"

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, voice muffled against his hair, "I'm so sorry".

From behind her, Saif was tense, ready to attack if needs be but just as confused as the Quartermaster. He was also still sitting in the chair, and Q suddenly realised with a pang of regret that the chair would soon have a new owner.

"What happened?" he asked instead, gently pulling away enough to see her face.

Her dark eyes were slightly red from crying, but neither her mascara nor her eyeliner were even the slightest bit smudged.

"I'm sorry" she repeated, "I didn't know, sweetheart, I'm so sorry".

The omega's confusion was starting to warp into apprehension.

"Edie" he started slowly, "Did you kill someone?"

Again.

"No! No, I didn't, of course not! But I will!" she promised, voice slightly shaky but as vehement as ever, "You just give me the word, sweetheart, and I'll destroy them, I swear!"

What on earth…

"Destroy who?" Saif asked, standing up, his movements oddly careful yet calculated, "Destroy who, Edie?"

She let out another sob and yanked Q back against his chest, and the younger man began to feel ever so slightly guilty.

Just what the hell was the current story about?!

"Edie" 005 repeated firmly, "Destroy who?"

Q suddenly realised that the last - and only - time that he'd seen the man so serious, was just after he'd returned from his previous mission. He thought that one of them was in danger. The double-0 was slowly but surely entering kill mode.

Fuck.

"I'm sure this is… all just a simple misunderstanding" he quickly said, "Why don't you sit down and- and explain what's happened?"

She nodded and headed for the soft couch against the opposite wall of the room, dragging Q along with her. As they passed his desk, he managed to reach out and grab his phone, sending a brief message to Eve right before he was unceremoniously hauled onto Edie's lap and wrapped around like a teddy bear.

The things he did for Queen and country…

"You should have told me" Edie said, "Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart?!"

"Tell you what?"

"About you! About- About your past!"

Q felt a brief stab of fear, before quickly realising that she couldn't know, of course she couldn't, 009 was just talking about the story of the week, his fake past, not his real past, because she couldn't know the truth, she just couldn't-

Far too late he realised how distressed his scent had become, and a split second later, Saif had somehow transported across the bloody room to wrap himself around Q as well.

He'd said it before, and he'd say it again.

Idiot knotheads, the lot of them.

"I don't know what you mean, Edie" Q tried to salvage, "What are you talking about?"

"You don't have to lie, sweetheart, it's okay, it'll all be okay, I promise! We'll- We'll track down those- those bastards and slaughter them!"

Oh great, and now they were starting to growl.

Thankfully he was saved from any more confusing pestering by a knock at the door. Saif snarled as it slid open a second later, but Eve, wonderful, glorious, beautiful Eve merely raised a solitary unimpressed eyebrow at him in response.

"It's okay, I called her" Q placated, managing to wriggle one arm out of Edie's almost-punishing grip to wrap his hand around the alpha's wrist. "She's a friendly, 005. Stand down".

With one last snarl for good measure, he finally toned it down to a much more manageable rumble, although his eyes never strayed from the woman for a second.

Q sighed, realising that this was probably as good as it was going to get, before turning to Eve with a pleading look.

"Help?"

Her pecan coloured eyes glanced over the scene before finally noticing the tear tracks on Edie's face.

"Oh goody" she said, completely deadpan, "Looks like I won".

"You did this?!"

"Well you did say to start wrapping things up!" she protested, "And it's common knowledge that you always save the best till last. And the best, in this case, just happened to be my story".

"What did you write?!"

She gave an elegant shrug. "Nothing much. I just took what seems normal to normal people and then twisted it around into something that terrifies the double-0s. Long story short, you used to be in a stable, monogamous, and committed relationship with the love of your life… until they were brutually murdered in front of you by an enemy that you made at MI6".

Q stared at her.

"Eve" he said, aghast, "What the fuck?!"

"Well it worked, didn't it? And besides, your minions were hopeless! I mean, seriously, the whole one-hundred-and-one dalmatian's thing? It's not as if the double-0s even like dogs to begin with, considering how much of their job is trying to sneak around rabid rottweilers and german shepherds! And the whole circus acrobat story? Honestly, I'm surprised one of the agents didn't ask you for tightrope walking lessons considering that that's exactly what a double-0 would find interesting!"

She sighed and placed her hands on her hips.

"The entire thing was a disaster! Your minions kept making up stories that only normal people find horrifying when the really upsetting ideas are the things that normal people find normal. My story is the double-0s' greatest fear. A bit tragic, perhaps, but it's a pretty niche idea".

Q continued to stare.

"You used their fear of forming genuine attachments with people… and then having that person be murdered because of their job… against them?!"

"I already told you, Q" she replied, completely straight-faced, "I take no prisoners".

Throughout their entire debate, both Edie and Saif had remained silent… but they were part of the elitist alpha's in the world for a reason.

"Hang on" 005 started, "You're… This is… You're talking about stories? Fake stories?!"

Q buried his face in Edie's neck and wondered if he could just stay there until he died.

"This was… a set-up?" 009 added, "A… A what? A joke? A prank?!"

Or at least until the double-0s killed him, anyway.

"Initially, yes" Eve answered, although the omega could still feel her gaze on him, "But now I'm not so sure… Q?"

He sighed and reluctantly sat up. "... Text the others. It'd be best to only do this once".

Saif immediately pulled out his phone and sent a brief message on whatever the hell the double-0s used to contact each other with. Edie's arms loosened from around his waist and Q took that as his cue to get off, awkwardly standing up and putting some distance between himself and his agents. They were very likely going to be upset over this, after all, and even though he knew that they would never physically hurt him… well, some habits die hard and he wasn't willing to take that risk.

At least Eve was still here, he mused, even as the woman stepped to the side to allow the other double-0s to enter the room, although how much help she'd actually be against five super tough highly trained and currently pissed off killing machines, he wasn't sure.

Either way, it was nice to have even just one person in his corner, even if she were also an alpha and therefore left him being the only omega in the room.

He did his best not to panic.

Alexis was the last to arrive, and she gave the others a single glance over before turning to Q with a smirk.

"Who won?"

Edie and Saif immediately rounded on her. "You knew?!"

"Of course". She shrugged. "In fact, I actively encouraged it".

Her red hair was in a side braid today, and that along with no makeup and a bright yellow sundress made her appear incredibly young. Which made it equal parts terrifying and awe-inspiring to see her smile back at the two furious alphas with not a care in the world.

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Edie demanded as Charlie made a beeline for her, having noticed the tear marks on her face.

Alexis folded her arms across her chest, totally unimpressed. "Because you needed to learn that snooping around in other people's past is rude!"

Charlie froze.

Duncan frowned.

And Eve grinned.

This was going to be a long day.

"It all started a few weeks ago" Q started, once everyone had stopped arguing enough to listen, "M called me and said that two of my agents were after breaking into one of the storage vaults".

"Prove it!"

"I have you on tape".

Edie quickly quietened down.

"So I checked the cameras, and imagine my surprise when I found not just 009, but 002 as well, both rifling through the personnel files that started with the letter Q… Now, I wonder what they were looking for?"

Duncan snorted and blatantly ignored the glare that Charlie sent him in response.

"I knew that none of you had my real name, because quite frankly, I no longer have one. That, combined with the fact that you both started at the letter Q, didn't leave many possibilities. You were searching for my file. More specifically, you were searching for my past".

He levelled both 009 and 002 a look, but in true double-0 fashion, neither of them appeared even remotely ashamed of themselves.

"So then I wondered,oh, maybe they think it's... too awkward to ask, but then I remembered who I was dealing with. If you wanted to ask, you would have. Instead, you skipped that step completely, and went straight to breaking and entering. You know. Like any reasonable, sane person would do" he said dryly, "So then I decided, well, if they want a story, then I'm going to give them one! But unsurprisingly, I'm a rather busy man and I don't have enough time to be coming up with outlandish stories every day… so I made it into a competition".

"Between who?" Edie snapped, "You? Eve?!"

She gave the woman a betrayed look, but thankfully, Miss Moneypenny remained firmly on Q's side.

"Yes" he replied evenly, "... And also, maybe, possibly, the entirety of Q branch".

They stared at him.

Edie abruptly stood up.

Alexis quickly yanked her back down again.

"Except for R" the omega allowed, "She already had a nervous breakdown because of you lot, and I really didn't want to cause her to have another one".

"So, what? This was- This was all just a joke to you?!"

"Yes, 009, it was! Just like my privacy was a joke to you!"

She flushed and looked away, but the tenseness in her jaw told him that she wasn't even a fraction less angry.

"You should have asked me first" he continued, forcibly calm, "You should have asked me, and I would have said no, and you should have at least pretended to respect me enough to let that be that!"

"We have a right to know who we're working for" Charlie replied, his voice low and controlled but furious, "You're in charge of our lives, Q! You make the equipment that saves us and give us the orders that prevent us from being massacred. Aren't we at least entitled to find out who you are?"

"I am exactly who you think I am, 002. My past, my childhood, my life before MI6 has nothing to do with that! If you can't trust me unless you've read my file, then I don't want your trust!"

"But you have access to our files! To our entire existence! How is that fair?!"

"... You're right. I do have access to your files. In fact, I'm the only one asides from M and Bill in this entire world who has access to your files… But did it ever occur to you, for even just one second, that maybe I chose not to read them?"

Charlie stared back at him, surprised, and even Edie was startled enough out of her anger to turn back to him.

"You're double-0s" Q continued quietly, "You're MI6's killing machines, the most lethal nine weapons on this planet… But you're also people. Human, as unlikely as it seems. You have just as much a right to privacy as everyone else, especially given how much of it you sacrifice while on missions. So yes, I have your files, and yes, I've read parts of them. I've read your previous mission reports. I've read about medical conditions and allergies and past psych evaluations. And I've read everything that the previous M deemed as crucial information. For some of you, that meant absolutely nothing, for others, it meant a lot… But I never, not once, ever even glanced at your past, at your backgrounds, at previous relationships, at anything that I wouldn't want to tell a complete stranger about myself. Your lives are your own, as doubtful as that may seem… But apparently, that right doesn't apply to me".

The double-0s were tellingly silent.

Edie's eyes had glazed over once more, although she refused to let the tears fall. Charlie was shocked into silence, his boyish face pale and drawn. Saif was even slightly shaken looking, although Duncan, obedient, respectful Duncan, was as impassive as ever. Only Alexis seemed somewhat cheerful, a smirk on her cherub lips and her green eyes dancing with mischief, and Q distantly wondered if this was how she'd always envisioned this prank to end.

"I'm not another target" Q continued, "I'm not another mark for you to lie or cheat or seduce into revealing information. I might be new to this position, but I damn well earned it and I will not have you undermining me or going behind my back just because you're too stupid to realise that I respect you! Just because I'm new at this, and young, and- and a bloody omega does not mean that I will simply roll over and let you do as you please! I let it slide this time because I expected you to test me and I needed to teach you a lesson that you would never forget. But if you ever, ever do something this stupid and illegal and bloody rude again, then I will cut you down so fast that you won't even realise what's happened until you're six feet under… Or, put more simply, don't fuck with me and I won't fuck with you. Deal?"

They stared at him, eyes wide and mouths slightly open, and stared and stared and stared and-

"Alright, I'm going to head out before this turns into a six-person orgy".

"Eve!"

"What?" she protested, even as she headed towards the door, "They're looking at you like a starving man looks at steak! That little machismo speech you just gave ticked all their boxes and I really don't want to see you naked Q, because no offence, but you're like a little brother to me and that would be just wrong".

She paused at the door and glanced back at him with a smirk.

"I'll expect the chair to be in my office by the end of the day. Caio!"