Take It from Here
The room went silent, an air of barely restrained fury starting to seep through the cracks.
"... Nothing happened" Q replied belatedly, resisting the urge to duck his head and run.
"Honey, your neck is black and blue" Alexis said, surprisingly calm, "So don't even try to tell me that nothing happened!"
Or maybe not.
"... I may have had a slight disagreement with an alpha".
She immediately spun around to face Alec. "What the hell did you do?!"
"Asides from fuck up a mission? Not a whole lot. Don't know if you've heard, Palladino, but the last twenty-four hours have been fucking weird".
"Then who?!" she snarled, spinning back to the omega, and for the first time since meeting her, Q saw exactly how she'd survived so long as a double-0.
"No one important" he replied, reaching out to take ahold of her hands, "It's okay, Alexis, I'm okay".
"You've clearly been crying, you're covered in bruises, and- and who knows what the fuck else happened! You are not okay!"
"Yes, 001, I am! It happened ages ago, and I'm fine now, alright? I promise".
Her posture relaxed slightly even though there was still murder in her eyes, but Q thought that it was a start, at least.
"I'm fine" he repeated quietly, "So just calm down and reign in that monster of yours, alright? Everything's fine".
She took a deep breath before slowly nodding and taking a step back. Less than a split second later, Saif took her place, gently tilting the omega's head to the side and prodding at his throat. After a moment, he released his hold and spun back around to face the others.
"Duncan?"
"On it". The larger man nodded, before striding from the room.
Q watched him go, confused, but Saif turned to Alec instead. "Where?"
"Back stairs between accounting and here".
"Alexis?"
"Gladly" she snarled, before also turning to the door.
005 glanced over at Edie. "Will you tell your paramour?"
"Only if you stop calling her that" she grumbled, but left all the same.
"Charlie?"
"Yeah?" he asked, almost dazed as his baby blue eyes stared at the bruises around Q's neck.
"How about you go make our little menace that tea that he likes, alright?"
"... Alright".
And then, just like that, they were alone.
Well, aside from Alec, of course, Q amended, but given that he was still very much injured and very much lying down, he guessed that there wasn't a whole lot the double-0 could do right now. But given that each of the others had just stalked off to who knows where, there probably wasn't a whole lot left for another double-0 to do anyway.
Saif watched Charlie leave before turning back to him, his eyes sharp and his body tense like a tiger waiting to pounce.
"Who do I need to kill?"
He blinked, surprised. "... Wasn't killing one of my attackers enough for you?"
"No. Never".
Q stared back at him for a moment before sighing. "We've talked about this, Saif. You can't go off and- and murder everyone who dares to even look at me oddly!"
"Look at you? Perhaps not. Even I know that's taking things too far" he agreed, "But attack you? Hurt you? Attempt to kill you?! Just watch me!"
"005, I distinctly remember you promising me not to maim, kill, or otherwise injure anyone outside of MI6 unless someone's life was in immediate danger".
"I did. But here's the thing, Quartermaster. This happened inside MI6. And your life is most certainly at risk".
"I got away!"
"For now" Saif countered, voice barely above a growl, "But what happens when the bastard tries again?!"
"If he tries again!"
The alpha gave him a look. "You are far too smart to start playing dumb, Q. You know full well that if he failed to kill you now, he'll come back to finish the job. So tell me his name. And we'll prevent that from happening".
"By murdering him?!"
"Yes" he replied calmly, "By murdering him. You can call it delayed self-defence if you like".
"What I'd like is for you to stop killing people!"
Saif raised a solitary eyebrow.
"... Outside of your job" he reluctantly amended.
"Protecting the Quartermaster of MI6 is my job. So what's his name?"
Q huffed and folded both arms across his chest, refusing to answer. Saif continued to stare at him for a moment, before turning to face Alec instead.
The blond raised both hands as a sign of peace. "Hey, don't you think if the cub had told me who it was, I'd have dealt with it by now? I mean, I might've needed your help to dispose of the body, but I'm not injured enough to delay murder".
"Alec!" Q exclaimed, "No!"
"No? What do you mean no? He hurt you!"
"You are not allowed to kill people who try to hurt me!"
006 stared back at him, seeming genuinely confused, before-
"Oh, right! I remember Charlie saying something about this... Did you spray him in the face with water?"
"I'll spray you in the face with water if you don't start using your common sense!"
"And what common sense would that be?" Saif interrupted before Alec could answer, "The common sense that dictates we protect our Quartermaster from any and all conceivable threats?"
Which-
Fuck.
They had him there, didn't they?
"Can we just… just put a pin in the whole murdering thing right now?" he asked plaintively, "At least let me get a good night's sleep first".
They both opened their mouths, no doubt to argue against him once more, but before they could say anything, the door reopened and a furious Alexis stormed back in.
"They're gone".
"Gone?" Q asked confused, "What do you mean gone? Who's gone?"
"Whoever the fuck did this to you!" she snapped, "The stupid fucking stairwell is empty!"
"Empty? The- wait, no, hang on-" he rounded on Saif, "Did you seriously send her to commit murder?! Before we even talked about it?!"
"Don't see what's there to talk about, Quartermaster" he replied indifferently, "The bastard who did this is going to die either way… Although, technically, I did just want Alexis to collect the guy and put him away in safe-keeping for later".
"Not so sure about the safe part" she muttered viciously, angrily stomping over to where Alec was still sprawled across the couch. At the sight of her glare, however, he very quickly sat up, and she threw herself down next to him with a growl.
A split second after that, Edie and Charlie both returned side by side, the later carefully but firmly pressing a cup of steaming earl grey vanilla extract tea into the omega's hands, while the former announced, "Eve knows. She told M. He's agreed to postpone the paperwork until tomorrow".
"Until tomorrow?" Q repeated, beyond confused, "What do you mean until tomorrow? I have to- to file a report! Answer questions! Go to- to bloody medical!"
"Or I could just bring fucking medical to you" Duncan replied, stepping into the room with a familiar first aid bag under one arm and an even more familiar litre bottle of vodka under the other.
Except-
Except that was impossible because-
"Did you steal that from my locker?!" Alec exclaimed, and Duncan gave him a scowl. "Yeah. I did. And it's not the first fucking bottle I've taken either, but I keep replacing them, so you never know".
"What the fuck, Fortier?!"
"It's for the brat" he immediately countered, "Or would you fucking rather he goes without?"
Alec's mouth shut with a snap.
"That's what I fucking thought".
Walking over to Q, who was getting more and more confused by the second, he firmly pushed him back towards his desk chair, tossed the first aid kit up on the table, and then uncapped the bottle and poured a decent shot of vodka directly into his cup.
"Wait, what? No! What are you doing?! Don't ruin the tea!"
Duncan rolled his eyes at him before pressing the mug back into his hands and unzipping the first aid kit, pulling out an ice pack and a towel.
"Drink up. And shut up".
Which was exactly how five minutes later, Q found himself feeling oddly floaty as he held onto his empty cup in one hand, his other being held by Edie, with Charlie holding the ice pack to his neck as Duncan carefully ran large fingers through his hair, checking for any head wound while intermittently pouring him more vodka.
Across from them, Alec was half sitting half collapsed against the couch, the painkillers clearly wearing off, while Saif was talking quietly to Alexis, and it was honestly fifty-fifty whether or not he was simply trying to calm her down or else discussing their entire murder plotting plans.
Q was confused and bewildered and more than a little drunk, but despite all of that, he couldn't help but wonder if the double-0s were this efficient and this chaotic at working together when there were just six of them… What the hell was it going to be like with all nine?
"That's the best I can do for now" Duncan finally said, rezipping the first aid kit, "You'll need to take some fucking ibuprofen or something, but it's going to hurt until the bruises fade".
"How long will that take?" Edie asked quietly, still holding the omega's hand.
The older alpha shrugged. "About two weeks, give or take. It's the internal damage that you need to fucking watch out for".
She slowly nodded, staring at Q for another moment before turning to Saif.
"El Nido?"
"El Nido" he agreed, standing up.
The Quartermaster blinked, head pleasantly fuzzy but the dredges of panic starting to filter in. He liked El Nido, liked the warm cosy atmosphere and the good food and even better alcohol, but he also liked being safe and if Mortner had escaped and was waiting for him somewhere then he could follow him there and then El Nido wouldn't have a warm cosy atmosphere it would have a dangerous unsafe atmosphere and he didn't want his safe place to be destroyed by that-
"No".
Q blinked again and slowly turned to the source of the sound.
"We'll go to my place" Alec continued, "It's closer, and while I definitely won't say no to a drink, I'm not really in the mood for a crowd right now".
He gave the omega a sideways look and the rest of the pack followed his gaze before nodding one by one. Q got the distinct feeling that he'd just missed something important, but his head was too fuzzy to try and figure out what, and if the double-0s were here then he was safe so he didn't need to figure out what anyway.
"Alright" Saif said, "I'll drive you and Blair, and Alexis can bring the others. One injured person per car is more than enough, don't you think?"
"Fine by me" he replied easily, "Though we're going to have to stop somewhere if you lot want food. I'm fairly certain we're out".
"What, after you and James have been away for an entire month?" Alexis teased, standing up, "Quite frankly, Alec, if there is any food left, I'd be scared to touch it".
"Oh give over" he complained, while Q's brain temporarily froze on you and James, "At least we actually have food… occasionally".
"Hmm, yes, but given how drastic your food to alcohol ratio is, I'm not quite sure that counts". She smiled at him, wide and sweet and far too sharp. "Same door code, is it?"
"Unless that other prat changed it while I was away, then yeah".
You and James.
"Alright, so, I'll get the Quartermaster and you get the food" Alexis finished decisively, "I'm thinking Chinese. Any complaints?"
They all shook their heads.
"Q?"
He startled, his brain still very much stuck on you and James, before turning to face the redhead. "Yeah?"
"Chinese?" she repeated, an amused smile on her perfect cupid-bow lip, "What do you want to eat?"
Eat. Chinese. Eat chinese eat food dinner food-
Dinner.
"My cats!" he suddenly exclaimed.
There was a beat of silence.
Edie cleared her throat. "Okay, I know that you love them, sweetheart, but consuming them is a bit much".
"No! No no no!" He shook his head, but that only made the fuzziness worse, and he cursed the day that Duncan ever brought vodka into his life. "Dinner! Food! My cats!"
"Dinner? Your cats? What are you… oh!" She suddenly realised. "You mean you need to feed your cats?"
He quickly nodded, but that had the same effect on his head as shaking it did, so he groaned and pressed his face against the nice cool table.
"Is he always this adorable when he's drunk?" he distantly heard Alec ask.
You and James.
Duncan snorted. "Trust me, you have no fucking idea".
Warm fingers carded through his hair and Q reluctantly sat back up with a pout. Saif smiled back at him, looking far too amused for the omega's confused mind to process.
"Tell you what. We'll swing by your place to feed the cats before we pick up some food, and you can go straight to Alec's with the others and have some tea". He glanced over his shoulder at the blond. "Presuming, of course, that you actually have some?"
"Are you kidding me?" He snorted. "James is as fucking British as they come, of course we've got tea".
You and James.
"Well, that's that settled then" Saif finished, turning back, "Sound good?"
The omega nodded, and the man gave his curls one last playful tug before stepping back. "Give us half an hour. We'll meet you there".
Q was unceremoniously hauled to his feet by Alexis who was deceitfully strong given her petite stature, before Edie and Charlie each took hold of his arms and carefully led him from his office.
He couldn't ever remember the stairs being this difficult to navigate before, but he also couldn't remember the last time he'd been this drunk before, so he was absurdly grateful that only the bare minimum of TSS staff remained.
Duncan left them at the elevator to return the first aid kit and half-empty vodka bottle to the locker room, before remeeting them at the car where he slid into the passenger seat. Alexis drove while Q remained with 009 in the back seat, but when he next blinked, he realised that they had stopped again and now Edie was trying to coax him back out of the car.
He was led into a nondescript apartment block building, towards an old faded brass elevator, and all the way up to the top floor - because of course that's where Alec and James lived - before finally, finally, after Alexis keyed in the door code - no biometrics, poor security, must fix - he was dropped on a surprisingly soft leather couch and handed a glass of water.
"Finish it, brat" Duncan ordered, as if he wasn't the bloody reason that Q was in this confused hazy befuddled mess to begin with, but he did as told anyway.
After draining that glass, the alpha fetched him another one, and after he drank that one, his head mercifully felt remarkably clearer while the ache in his throat unfortunately sharpened.
Which actually reminded him…
"Will you teach me self-defence?"
Duncan froze, halfway through taking off his jacket, before giving the omega a soft, almost pitying look.
"Yeah, brat, I will".
Q nodded, once, and turned back to his glass of water which had somehow been refilled without him even realising it. He also hadn't realised when the other two had joined them - or had they always been there? - and he found himself once more squished between Edie and Alexis on the large couch, while Duncan remained on the armchair across from them.
The TV was on, too, and it was also the first time he'd realised that the room even had a TV, which was rather stupid of him given how massive it was and he wondered just how many gadgets he could fit into a TV that size which led to him picturing Alec and James trying to carry a flat-screen onto a plane which was kind of funny but also troubling because he knew that they would never be allowed to bring a TV onto a plane but how else could he give them their gadgets because they needed a device that large to fit everything into it but if they couldn't bring it with them then he couldn't protect them in the field and-
"Go to sleep, sweetheart" Edie said quietly, gently turning his head to rest against her shoulder while someone else removed the empty glass from his hands, "We'll wake you when the food gets here, alright?"
Alright.
That didn't seem like a bad plan, now that he thought about it. Maybe when he woke up his head would be less fuzzy and he could figure out how to sneak a flat-screen TV onto a plane. Or maybe he'd come up with an even better plan that meant that his agents would always be safe even if they couldn't sneak his gadgets onboard. Or maybe he just needed to look into better travel plans than planes…
Q yawned and tilted his head to breathe in more of Edie's warm safe scent.
Things would make more sense when he woke up again, he was sure of it.