All Cats are Grey
Q was… restless, for lack of a better word.
Despite the calming presence of the pack surrounding him, despite being safe and protected in Alec's - and James' - flat, despite knowing that there was no way in hell that Mortner could find him here… he just felt restless. Jittery and shaky and not unlike he was recovering from a stress-induced-omega-drop or four-all-nighters-in-a-row-college-drop. There was an itch just underneath the surface of his skin that not even his ridiculous alpha killing machines could reach, and by midnight, it was starting to drive him crazy.
Carefully detangling himself from the passed-out Alec, he crept towards the kitchen, mindful not to step on any of the other dozing double-0s and, you know, for such terrifying frighteningly capable murderous hitmen, they were rather… cute looking when they were asleep.
He quickly made a mental note to never tell them that.
Sneaking into the kitchen, he silently closed the door shut behind him before turning on the lights. He wasn't surprised by the clean marble counters and stainless steel appliances that greeted him, but what did surprise him was the entire wall dedicated to alcohol. Not the alcohol part in general, of course, but the type of bottles that the floor-to-ceiling rack held.
Champagne, bourbon, wine… Q lightly ran his fingers over the no-doubt incredibly expensive bottles of strangely common alcohol. He couldn't picture Alec ever drinking Dom Pérignon or Taittinger Blanc des Blancs, or even Campari either, for that matter, which meant that it had to be-
James bloody Bond.
Shaken not stirred, indeed.
Shaking his head, Q bypassed the rest of the liquor and instead turned his attention to searching for tea, remembering Alec's quip about Bond being "as British as they come". He eventually found it, after opening more than one barren cupboard, and despite the sadly non-existent variety of flavours, he remained grateful that he even found tea to begin with.
Pulling out the box of Vietnamese Earl Grey, he flipped the switch on the kettle and then opened the remaining cupboards in an attempt to find a cup and, if he was lucky, some sugar.
It was strange, being here, in 006's kitchen. And not just 006's kitchen, but 007's kitchen too. It was strange even putting 007 and kitchen in the same sentence, really. Unless there were knives involved, of course. But then Q started to wonder that if it was this strange for him, then how strange was it for Alec to be here when James wasn't? When James bloody Bond had driven off into the sunset with someone else?
Eve thought that they were together together, after all, at least in some capacity, so was it difficult for one agent to return here when the other didn't? Q had only had one serious relationship in his life, but given how abruptly and painfully it had ended, he could safely assume that he knew how Alec felt, even if just a little bit right now.
Staring at after images of his partner, everywhere he went…
Q forcefully shook his head and turned back to the kettle in annoyance. It was still bubbling away, the water only half boiled despite him having turned it on well over three minutes ago. Scowling, he returned to the cutlery drawer and pulled out a fork and a small sharp knife. He wasn't going to be able to sleep anytime soon, and quite frankly, that so-called kettle was an offence to his very existence, so he might as well do something productive while he drank his tea.
"What are you doing?"
Q jumped and narrowly missed knocking his half-empty and very cold cup off the kitchen counter. Spinning around on the stool, he let out a relieved breath when he realised it was Alec standing there and not-
Well.
Not anyone else.
"What are you doing?" he asked again, an amused smirk playing on his lips, and Q felt himself flush. "Nothing!"
"Cub".
"... I couldn't sleep" he admitted, albeit reluctantly, as he turned back to the dismantled kettle in front of him. It had taken him an embarrassingly long time to get into the controller switch of the device, and even longer again to strip back the wires surrounding it so he could add a few tweaks.
There was a quiet sigh from behind him before soft footsteps walked across the kitchen towards him, and Q was absurdly grateful that the man was considerate enough to make sure that the omega did hear him step closer.
Coming around the other side of the island counter, Alec sat down directly opposite him. "Couldn't sleep, huh? So, what, you just decided to dismantle my kitchen appliances instead?"
"I'll put it back together again!" he protested, fork and knife still in hand.
"I know you will". Alec's smirk widened. "How many changes you'll add to it before doing so, however, I don't know".
Q felt his cheeks heat up again and resolutely focused on the kettle in front of him instead. "I'm only speeding it up a little. This thing works ridiculously slow!"
"I could just buy a faster one".
"You could" he allowed, "But then what would I take apart in your kitchen at one am?"
"We're a little closer to three than to one, cub".
Q blinked, surprised, and finally met the man's gaze.
"Three?! In the morning?!"
"You've been tinkering for a while. I felt you get up, I started to get cold after you left".
"Oh… Sorry".
"Don't be" he replied easily, "I'm only teasing you, cub… You feeling any better?"
His hand automatically went to the vivid bruises on his neck which were no doubt even worse looking today than they had been the night before. Thankfully, however, no matter how bad they looked, they didn't feel a fraction as sore.
"I'm fine".
"No you're not" came the immediate response, "But that's alright, cause you will be".
Q narrowed his eyes at the alpha and stabbed the fork in his direction. "Why are you behaving so well? It's suspicious".
He gave a roguish grin that really had no right at all to make the omega's heart race so much. "How do you know I'm not always this well-behaved?"
"Because you're you! And a- a bloody double-0! You lot are incapable of being well-behaved!"
"Well, maybe we just never found someone we wanted to behave for" Alec countered, "Until now".
And sweet Merlin, wasn't there some sort of limit as to the number of times one person could blush in five minutes?!
"Yes. Well. That's… acceptable, I guess" he stumbled, "As long as you keep behaving, that is".
"Oh but cub, where's the fun in that?" he teased, "After all, we have to keep you on your toes somehow".
"Why does that sound like double-0 code for "let's blow something up"?"
"What a marvellous idea! Let's go do that".
Q groaned and dropped his makeshift tools so he could put his head in his hands instead. "That was not an invitation, 006! Just- Just go back to bed!"
"Only if you join me".
His brain short-circuited.
This was it.
This was how he died, flushing bright red and suffering a heart attack directly across from a smirking and un-bloody-flappable double-0.
"Come on, cub" the alpha said, voice softer and less teasing, "You've been awake long enough, it's time you got some sleep".
Oh, well, when he put it that way with that painfully earnest gaze and stupid kind smile and ridiculously perfect hair and-
Alec stood up and held out a warm gun-calloused hand.
Q politely told his brain to shut the fuck up and took it.
Ten minutes later, having been rearranged by a surprisingly touchy alpha, he was sprawled across Alec on the floor in the middle of the room, the other double-0s surrounding them in various shapes and forms. Charlie and Edie were tangled up with each other by his feet, Saif and Alexis curled up together on his left, while Duncan - as usual - kept his own personal space a few feet from Q's head. The couch formed a wall on his right, and between that, Alec, and the rest of their strange puppy pile, he felt… safe.
The safest he'd felt in… maybe even forever.
His clichéd traumatic backstory aside, his childhood, although happy, definitely hadn't been safe given his chaotic siblings and loving but absent parents. Having jumped from that straight into hacking had generated a world of enemies before he'd been politely yet firmly asked to use his powers for the greater good, as it were. Not long after that, he'd met his first - and only - partner and despite their first few happy months, that particular relationship had very quickly spiralled into the dangerous category which had eventually led to him getting involved in MI6 which then led to-
Now.
Alec ran a gentle hand up his back to rest lightly against the back of his neck, warm and grounding and safe.
"Go to sleep, cub" he rumbled, "Tomorrow can wait".
And Q slept.
"-and maybe some tea?"
"Are you kidding me? Of course he needs tea!"
"Yeah, but what kind of tea?"
"I know he likes Westholme".
"And anything with too much fucking sugar".
"Do we even have sugar?"
"No".
"Well, you're a ton of help, now, aren't you?"
"You asked a question and I gave you the answer!"
"You could have been a bit more polite about it".
"Oh, I'm sorry, let me rephrase myself. No, we do not, in fact, have any fucking sugar-"
Q groaned and tried to bury his head into the lovely soft and warm pillow that it was resting on, but much to his chagrin, it started to move beneath him.
"Well hello there, cub! How are you today?"
He growled in annoyance.
"Oof. Someone's not a morning person".
"See! This is why I told you to make tea!" Edie exclaimed from behind him.
"With sugar!" Charlie added vehemently.
"Look, we just need to make him function enough to get him in the fucking car" Duncan said, "I'm sure he has a mountain of tea at his own flat, including that weird fucking Canadian brand you swear by!"
"I don't swear by it, Q does!" Alexis shot back, "And right now, we need to get him caffeinated or M will have our hides for leather!"
"Please don't put M and leather in the same sentence" Saif replied, sounding slightly ill, "You're going to turn me off my favourite pastime".
"Turn off being the word" Alec muttered, shifting again until Q had no other option but to sit up, cross his arms, and scowl fiercely at the lot of them.
"Uh-oh" Charlie said succinctly, "The котенок looks angry".
The entire pack had somehow squished themselves onto the single couch, save Duncan - of course - who had returned to the same armchair from the night before. Usually, seeing four super tall and muscular double-0s trying to squeeze themselves onto the normal-sized leather sofa would make Q smile and perhaps - if he was feeling especially generous - even laugh.
But not today.
Because today was already too bright and loud and busy and he had forms to fill and executives to deal with and troublesome alphas to babysit and an entirely other fucking insane lunatic alpha to watch out for and-
"Cub?"
"What?!" he snapped, spinning around to glare at Alec.
"You want some tea?"
And-
"... Yeah".
The alpha smiled.
"Then let's get you some tea".
If seeing four double-0s squeeze onto a single couch was amusing, it was nothing compared to how hilarious six double-0s plus a Quartermaster squeezing into a single car was.
Or as painful.
"Stop elbowing me!"
"Then stop shoving!"
"I'm only shoving because Charlie's already pressed against the bloody door!"
"It's actually getting kind of hard to breathe here, guys".
"I told you to fucking let me get in first!"
"And we told you that you are confined to the middle seat!"
"Why?!"
"You know why!"
From the passenger seat, thankfully out of the way of elbows and knees and sharp teeth, Q watched the mayhem unfold with a strange sort of detachment, not unlike scientists observing particularly clever rats.
"... How have you lot managed to survive this long?"
"Trust me, cub" Alec replied sagely, "We ask ourselves the same thing hourly".
Because of fucking course he was sitting on the alpha's lap again, despite his protests. Apparently, it was either sit on Alec's lap in the front, or else lie down across everyone else in the back. Minus Alexis, who was driving, which was kind of strange considering she was the slightest of the bunch and so it would make a hell of a lot more sense for her to be in the back and have someone like Duncan drive instead, but apparently, this was just how things were with these idiots.
"Everyone buckled up?" she called, adjusting the rearview mirror.
"No!"
"Good. Let's go".
Which caused another, rather important, question to fly to the forefront of Q's sleep-addled mind.
"Where are we actually going?"
"Your flat, first of all" Alec answered, gripping the door handle as the car went around a bend too fast, "It has tea and… clothes, I guess. You probably want to change before you meet with M".
Considering that he was wearing the same outfit he'd been cuddled with, attacked in, and fought with yesterday, Q very much did want.
"Oh".
But then again-
"Hang on, how do you lot know where I live?"
Silence answered him.
Narrowing his eyes, he awkwardly twisted until he could see the squished alpha's in the back because chances were-
Yep. There it was.
"Charlie" he warned, as the man rather obviously avoided his gaze.
"I… might have possibly maybe sort of kinda followed you home one night trying to test the validity of one of the prank stories?"
Well. He was the best double-0 at blending in for a reason, Q supposed.
"Remind me to give you a lecture on privacy and respecting personal boundaries after I've slept for twelve hours".
"... No".
Q sighed, shook his head, and then leaned back against Alec's rather comfortable shoulder. The man himself huffed a laugh, looking far too amused.
"You're only realising this now? How do you think we fed your cats last night?"
The omega paused, and then very quickly realised that his genius IQ level didn't kick in until after the caffeine did.
"Thanks" he replied belatedly, "For feeding them, I mean. Did they eat? They don't usually like strangers".
"One of them did at least" Charlie replied, "The other one was too scared to come out from under the couch".
"Paco. He's quite affectionate once you get to know him".
"Paco?" Alec repeated, "Which one is he?"
"The gold tag. Yana has the silver one".
Edie frowned. "You tell them apart by their tags? Don't they have different coloured fur or something?"
Q snorted. "They don't have fur, full stop".
"What?"
"They're sphynxes" he explained, turning back to face her, "One of the very few hairless cat breeds. They have no fur at all".
She looked like she didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified.
"Oh, that reminds me" Saif suddenly said, before pulling a very familiar set of keys from his pocket, "Here. You probably need these".
Q slowly reached out to take the keys - his keys - from the alpha.
"I kind of took them from your branch when we were leaving yesterday" he explained, "You left them up on the table with a whole bunch of other fun stuff but I couldn't ask you because you were... you know..."
"Drunker than Trevelyan on a good day" Duncan snarked.
Alec paused and then shrugged. "Yeah, fair enough".
Q, on the other hand, wasn't as forgiving.
"You were the one who gave me the vodka!" he exclaimed, "It's your fault I was drunk to begin with! And you!" He rounded on Saif. "I don't care how bloody drunk I was, if you could ask me what I wanted for dinner then you could bloody well have asked me if you could steal my house keys! And, by the way, if you lot touched anything asides from the cats or their food, then I will know!"
Charlie stared back innocently, Saif looked a little bit guilty - Q made a mental note to thoroughly check his CCTV camera once he got back - but Alec merely shrugged and gave him an admittedly charming, yet distracting, smile.
"I stayed in the car".
"Uh huh" he replied flatly, "And just what, exactly, were you doing in the car?"
"... Nothing".
"006-"
"We're off duty cub, you don't have to code name me".
Saif snorted. "Oh no, believe me, this isn't a poor-work-life-balance thing, this is a I'm-very-disappointed-in-you-so-I-refuse-to-use-your-name thing".
"Have much experience with that, do you?"
"Not as much as you will by the sound of things".
Q clutched his keys far too tightly and collapsed back against Alec's chest with a groan.
Babysitting troublesome alpha's didn't even begin to cover it.