Hello everyone!:)

Very grateful for every feedback and activity, as it's nice to realize that someone is interested in what you write on the other side of the screen. And that you are not talking to yourself:)))))

So we're up to chapter five. I think it will end up being not 12, but 14 chapters, I feel. In any case, the events in Charleston will soon be over and our "favorite" (no) Atlanta, with its society, will be waiting for us.

It's time for Scarlett's big decisions.

I own nothing in regard to GWTW.

Chapter 5.

Dinner was a tense affair. Scarlett was more silent and avoided Rhett's gaze, and the children, who had witnessed the scene in the parlour, were quiet, too. They talked about their picnic, but Rhett sensed they were tense. Ross and Penelope were making polite conversation with Mrs. Butler, who also looked tired and upset and had a wrinkle between her eyebrows.

Peter tried to lighten the mood by telling a funny story about a crab, which amused Rosemary. She knew very well how afraid of them he had been since he was a little boy. Mrs. Butler, too, smiled at the story, looking at Peter gratefully and warmly at Scarlett.

Rhett was silent, he noticed that Peter was avoiding his gaze as well, and the children were turning more to their mother. Ross tried to strike up a conversation with him about business, but Rhett answered one-wordedly and Ross gave up trying.

Rhett realized he'd overreacted. Peter was right and it was very rude. In truth, Scarlett was trying to be the best mother she could be to her children, and she was succeeding, from what he'd seen and from what the children had told him.

Anyway, even Rhett realized that they needed to talk and he needed to apologize.

Everyone left early that evening, Scarlett and the children being the first to leave the parlour, saying good night to everyone, and Ella even kissed Mrs. Butler goodnight. Miss Eleanor saw that the children were avoiding Rhett and threw a questioning glance at him, but he turned away and went out on the veranda to smoke. It was a chilly November evening outside, but he knew the cold air was what he needed right now to set the mood for conversation.

After smoking a cigar, he went into the house, and there was no one in the parlour. He went into the library and took off his jacket, leaving him in a white shirt and dark pants.

He rolled up his sleeves and poured himself a drink of whiskey.

Just a little bit. "For courage," he told himself.He was a proud man and very much afraid of one thing: asking for forgiveness. And here he knew that that was inevitable, to be able to communicate with Scarlett in a civilized manner, to be able to discuss the divorce with her.

It was already about ten o'clock at night, the children should have been asleep an hour ago, but Scarlett was still supposed to be awake.

He slipped quickly to the second floor, stopping outside his bedroom door. He had the thought of going in to see the children, but he was nervous now. He ran his hand through his hair and knocked quietly on the door. There was no answer and he thought that Scarlett must have fallen asleep.

He opened the door quietly and saw Scarlett sitting on his bed, in her white silk robe, with little Ella curled up next to her, sleeping quietly.

Scarlett looked at him and pointed at Ella, explaining that she couldn't answer loudly enough not to wake her.

Rhett nodded understandingly and pointed to his room's door, as if inviting her to talk.

Scarlett stared at him, nodding briefly. She got up quietly, so as not to disturb Ella, stroked her curls gently, covered her thin shoulders with the blanket, and walked over to Rhett.

He watched her and once again felt a rush of guilt for his behavior, but also resentment for Bonnie.

They entered his cabinet and he closed the door tightly.

"Why weren't you like this with Bonnie?" - Was his first phrase as soon as she looked at him.

"Did you let me?"

"Because she was my daughter," he continued.

Scarlett looked up at him sharply, frowned, and answered him with all the sternness she was capable of.

"Rhett Butler, that's the most horrible and stupid thing I've heard you say in months, and I've heard quite a lot. Remember, the next time you even hint that I don't love my daughter, I will hit you. I loved Bonnie very much. I love all my children, just because they're mine." And already more gently she added.

"I loved our children, Rhett."

He flinched.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett. For what I've told you now, and for what I told you this afternoon in the parlour," and then he ran his hand through his hair again and, looking directly into Scarlett's green eyes, repeated, "I'm sorry."

She looked into his dark eyes and saw the pain and remorse in them. So she simply replied:

"And you forgive me. For those words after the accident. It wasn't your fault, you should know that. No one could have stopped Bonnie. Don't blame yourself."

"I can't..."

"You're going to have to learn to live with it, Rhett."

"Have you already learned?"

She sighed tiredly, reached out her hand quietly and touched his shoulder. It was the first time they had made physical contact, not counting that cold kiss when they had met in the hall when he had first seen them.

He flinched and returned her gaze.

She stroked his shoulder affectionately, where his rolled-up sleeve ended, then quietly removed her hand and answered him:

"Of course not, Rhett. Of course I haven't learned, it hurts every day. Just like you. But," here she looked into his eyes again and he saw the determination in her gaze, "I'll learn Rhett, for the children, for me." She wanted to add "for you," but didn't.

He looked at her gratefully, grateful that she hadn't made a scene, hadn't mocked him. "I wonder," he thought, "if I know this Scarlett who stands before me now. Something is different about her."

Remembering Ella in the next room, Rhett asked, "Ella came to see you? Is she going to sleep with you?"

Scarlett sadly replied, "Yes, Rhett, she had a nightmare again."

"Again?" he looked at Scarlett questioningly.

"Yes, your mother saw her in the hallway last night and helped her. Then she told me this morning. This whole thing isn't easy, not only for us Rhett, but for the children as well. But, they'll get through it, I know they will. I'll help them," she finished firmly.

He looked at her and smiled. She hadn't changed, the same determination in her eyes, the same bright fire. She was exhausted, tired, but not broken. But he was. He felt like he was in pieces and needed freedom to put himself back together.

"Well," Rhett said politely, "I think we should all get some rest, it's been a long and emotional day."

Scarlett nodded and looked at him sadly. He turned back into the polite stranger again. For a moment during their conversation she thought he had opened up to her, but she seemed to misunderstand him. He was so hard to understand.

"Well, Rhett," she said, and with a familiar gesture she lightly fixed her long hair, tucking the strands back behind her back. Rhett swallowed nervously, but she didn't notice it.

"Good night," she said and turned to leave the room.

"Good night, Scarlett," he answered her quietly.

The next few days passed quietly, without quarrels or hard feelings. It was the second week of Scarlett and the children's stay at the Butler mansion.Rhett was polite to Scarlett and the family in general, waiting for the right moment to talk. He tried to stay close to Wade and Ella, but while Ella was easy to go for contact and affectionate, Wade was polite but wary. He understood that Rhett wasn't just away on "business" from Atlanta, he'd seen how coldly his stepfather had greeted his mother and he remembered the scene in the parlour. He was eleven and his world was divided into black and white. Like any growing boy he didn't recognize halftones.

Scarlett was wary and wondered when she would be able to leave with the children and if she would be able to do so while avoiding divorce talk. They needed time and her aunt had made the whole situation very difficult by creating it.

Aunt Eulalie opposite considered herself very resourceful and was undressing with pride that she had so easily introduced her niece into the Butler family. Scarlett didn't know whether to cry or laugh as she looked at Eulalie. "At least she's recovering well," Scarlett thought as she tiredly ran her hand over her face.

Everyone in the house was going about their business, and Miss Eleanor was trying to stall for time, too; she could not believe that Rhett would do such a thing to his wife and the children he loved. She reminded everyone at home every day about the ball on Friday, and emphasized to Scarlett that all her friends were eager to meet her and that it was a good chance to get into society.

Scarlett only smiled weakly, and Rhett averted his gaze. He had no desire to play these games.

It was a surprisingly warm and balmy November that year, and Rhett, Wade, and Peter planned another boat trip, only with the men. That afternoon on Wednesday, Scarlett and Ella decided to walk them down to the harbour.

While the children ran around the beach with Peter, Rhett and Scarlett stood at the fence by the water. They looked out at the ocean, the water was calm and azure in color. If you looked at the horizon, at some point the line between the sky and the water was blurred. It was wonderful.

Scarlett looked away and thought, and Rhett decided to try to talk again.

"Scarlett," he decided abruptly and confidently to start the conversation, "I'll put a certain sum of money in your bank account if you sign the divorce papers. It's a guarantee of your stability and that of the children. And of course I'm not going to stop-"

"What sum, Rhett," she interrupted him quietly and bitterly. "Name it to me."

He stopped short, then said, "Half a million dollars."

She took a deep breath, tried, her corset was pulled too tight. Bitter memories climbed into her head, of that cold winter in Atlanta, of the horse jail, of the green curtain dress, of the man holding her hands.

"You're not worth $300." the words rumbled in her mind.

"You highly valued me this time," she said thoughtfully, remembering the scene in the jail.

"It wasn't you I valued, it was my freedom. Only with you out of my life I can find happiness and stability," he told her clearly.

She grinned bitterly.

"Rhett, let's not talk about this now. The children are watching us." here she waved a hand to Wade and Ella in greeting.

Rhett stopped talking and looked toward the children.

"Ella and I have to go," Scarlett said, "Rosemary's waiting for her to paint together. Your sister is very kind to learn Ella."

Rhett nodded and replied, "I think they get along well."

Scarlett nodded and added, "And Wade has gotten very close to Peter..."

Rhett pressed his lips together and nodded. His stepson really did prefer Peter's company to his. He took a deep breath and said,

"Yes, you should go Scarlett, the carriage will take you home. We'll talk later."

When they arrived home, Scarlett and Ella found Rosemary in the parlour, there were two easels near the window, one higher and one lower, with sheets of paper, paints and brushes. On the table was a vase of flowers that would serve as a still life.

Rosemary smiled welcomingly at Ella and nodded politely to Scarlett.

Ella ran up to her exclaiming, "Aunt Rosemary, how you got everything ready. It's so beautiful," and hugged her affectionately.

Rosemary smiled at the girl, and Scarlett smiled as she looked at them. Rosemary was unfailingly cold and polite to her, but since they got along with Ella, that was fine with her.

"May I sit in the parlour with you, Rosemary? To watch a little?" asked Scarlett politely.

She only nodded and began to show Ella the colors and basic painting techniques.

Scarlett watched in fascination as the colored spots on the damp paper turned into hydrangea flowers, as blue and navy paints intricately blended. How light and airy the work was.

Scarlett could not take her eyes off the works and almost didn't breathe. She remembered Ellen, who also had a talent for drawing.

She was so excited that she didn't notice the irritated glances Rosemary threw at her from time to time.

"Ella, honey," Rosemary said, "can I ask you to bring more paper, it's in the library on the desk."

Ella nodded with a smile and ran out of the parlour.

The room became quiet and then Rosemary's distinct voice came out.

"What are you doing here, Scarlett? In this house, next to my brother?" asked Rosemary reproachfully.

Scarlett looked up at her with eyes full of surprise.Yes, she had sensed coldness and perhaps dislike from Rosemary, but she hadn't paid it any attention. After all, she got along with everyone in the house. "With everyone except Rhett," an inner voice reminded her.

Scarlett smiled weakly at her and said, "Rosemary, I don't quite know what you mean. I'm your brother's wife, and your mother invited the children and me to come visit. That's all."

"I don't think you will have that status for long," Rosemary muttered wryly and added, "I know that man comes to your house, the children told me."

Scarlett was discouraged by Rosemary's words, but didn't quite understand them.

"What man are you talking about, Rosemary? I don't understand you."

"Ashley Wilkes. I'm talking about him,Scarlett. And don't play the innocent lamb and the rejected wife, Rhett told me everything when he came here in September. Broken by you."

Scarlett took a deep breath and said sternly.

"He's my relative Rosemary. And a childhood friend..."

"And your embrace is also kin or friendly?" interrupted Rosemary.

Scarlett forgot how to breathe and tears of humiliation and resentment swept to her eyes.She was afraid that a sob would burst from her chest and she would cry right there in the parlour.

Rosemary looked at her with judgment and triumph.

"How much she looks like Rhett," a thought ran through Scarlett's mind.

She took a deep breath and said it slowly:

"You don't know anything about us, Rosemary. You don't know why we are the way we are now. You don't know how we lived."

"It seems to me-" began Rosemary.

"It seems wrong to you!" interrupted Scarlett sharply.

Ella fluttered into the room like a bird, her curly hair bouncing. She looked with interest at Scarlett and Rosemary, who stood up to leave the parlour.

"Grandmother Butler sent me to call Aunt Rosemary, mother," Ella merrily mumbled, walking over to Scarlett and climbing into her lap.

"Thank you Ella, I was just about to go and see her. Have a good day, Scarlett."

A stunned and frustrated Scarlett only nodded back at her. Just then Ella looked closely at her mother and saw tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Mummy, have you been crying? What's wrong?" she asked worriedly.

Rosemary, leaving, heard the girl's question and wanted to hear the answer.

"Nothing is the matter, dear. It's from remembering. I was thinking of my mother and I just wanted to hug her so badly," Scarlett replied affectionately, wiping away her tears.

'Liar,' thought Rosemary and went to find Mrs Butler.

"Mummy, do you miss Grandmother Ellen very much?" asked Ella, settling into her mother's arms.

"Yes, Honey... She was a wonderful mother. You're just like her, dear, you're so kind to people, to me..." Just then Scarlett gustily put her arms around her daughter and stroked her honey coloured hair.

'Mummy, I love you so much," Ella said softly.

"I love you too, sweetheart.", Scarlett replied affectionately.

"And Wade?"

Scarlett smiled.

"And Wade."

"And Uncle Rhett?"

Here Scarlett's heart clenched painfully. The painful memories of the conversation with Rosemary came back into her mind. How could he tell his sister everything. He hadn't respected her one bit, made her look practically a fallen woman.

But pulling herself together, she smiled naively and replied.

"Yes, Darling, and him too."

"Aha, there they are!" heard Scarlett hear Peter's familiar voice at the door.

Peter came into the room, smiling, followed by Wade and Rhett. They all looked pleased, satisfied that the boat trip had gone well

Wade made his way over to his mother and kissed her affectionately on the cheek.

"Hello, mother. Everything is okay?" He was a very attentive boy, and in recent months had learnt to 'read' his mother's face. He immediately noted that Scarlett was upset, but was trying to hide it behind a smile.

It hadn't escaped Peter's notice, either. And Rhett sensed the tension in her voice when she questioned them about the trip. She also avoided his gaze and addressed Peter and Wade mostly.

Ella on the other hand greeted everyone affectionately but walked over to Rhett and took his hand.

This little girl was surprisingly kind. She didn't seem to remember him leaving without saying goodbye. She knew how to forgive, including her mother. Rhett was amazed at how warm Scarlett's relationship with the children was now. They seemed to feel each other even from a distance. How could there be a bond that hadn't been there before, he wondered.

The whole family sat in the parlour after dinner, drinking coffee and talking. Mrs Butler was talking to Rosemary and Ella, discussing a future walk to the park, Wade, Peter, and Ross were discussing the possibility of another boat trip, Rhett was sitting next to them, listening silently. Penelope and Scarlett were sitting next to each other by the window.

Rhett felt a steady gaze on him. He looked up from his cup of coffee and saw her green eyes.

He had always prided himself on being able to read her like a book. Now, her gaze was filled with love for him, he could see it clearly, but there was so much sadness and bitterness in her eyes. Scarlett smiled at him bitterly, just the corners of her lips, and before he could make a stony face and open his mouth for another phrase, she stood up quietly from her seat. All eyes turned towards her.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going up to my room. A slight attack of headache."

Miss Eleanor had only time to nod as Scarlett turned towards the stairs and walked up them quickly, silently.

"Scarlett never has a headache," Rhett thought. Something wasn't right. They certainly weren't acting like friends, or a loving couple, lately, but he sensed some resentment, bitterness in her. Disappointment.

She looked as if he'd done something to offend her. But he hadn't. He'd been honest with her, he didn't want her here, not even at her mother's invitation.

Yes, there were Wade and Ella, but now, when the wound of losing Bonnie was still so fresh, he didn't have enough mental strengths for those children, even though they were his favourite.

After all, they were Scarlett's children, and she was responsible for them.

Yes, divorce was the only way out, he continued to ponder. It didn't matter what his mother thought, it didn't matter what society said. He just wanted to be free of the burden and go away.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he realized that he was behaving like a very young boy at fourteen's, that he was playing the all-or-nothing game of youthful maximalism, that such decisions were usually wrong, but he couldn't stop.

Scarlett was staying near the window in the upstairs room, thinking. Tears of anger and bitterness streamed down her cheeks.

She wondered how many other people he had told the details of their marriage. Details that were favourable to him! She felt humiliated, almost like a whore. She remembered how he'd once practically compared her to that woman. To Belle. And the comparison, as usual, had not been in her favour. She didn't have a "good heart", she was a "bad investment".

"God, why did he marry me in the first place? So much pain and grief...' she thought, "what kind of marriage is that if he not only doesn't love me, he doesn't respect me either. God, what else would have to happen between us to decide me to get a divorce?Am I going chase after him and beg like it was with Ashley? Another ten years to throw away?"

"No," Scarlett almost shrieked. "Not going to happen," she thought.

"I survived the war, the starvation, the death of my parents, I buried my daughter and my best friend, but I survived! I'll survive the divorce too."

With those words, she angrily wiped her cheeks, and called the maid to get ready for bed.

As she fell asleep that night, she repeated in a whisper into the darkness, "The decision has been made. Go on, Scarlett."