La Vie en Rose?
It was Alexis' turn to drive Q in to work the next morning, and to say that she looked surprised when not just one, but three people climbed into the car would be putting it… well, no, not mildly, because she didn't look surprised at all, being in complete control of her expression as she was, but Q definitely saw a small glimmer of shock as he climbed into the passenger seat next to her.
"You got room for two more?"
"Perhaps" she allowed, "Depends on if they'll buy me coffee or not".
Duncan scoffed and muttered something not terribly polite under his breath that had her holding up the middle finger over her shoulder at him in return, but Jake simply smiled and nodded and then leaned forward to kiss her cheek.
Alexis smirked and blew him one in return.
"I always knew there was a reason why you're my favourite. How was Gibraltar?"
"Hot".
"You lucky bastard".
"How was Nova Scotia?"
"Decidedly not hot".
"I'm sorry".
"Don't be. At least I got to blow up some shit". Alexis smirked, and turned back to Q, giving his split lip and bruised jaw a rather pointed look.
"So, what did you boys get up to last night?"
He immediately flushed. "001!"
"Oh, don't give me that look, honey. Based on those fresh bruises you're sporting, you clearly did something fun".
"If something fun means defending myself against two distinctly alpha intruders in the middle of the night, then yes, 001, I had a bloody blast!"
"Well, as long as you enjoyed yourself".
"I beg of you. Drive".
"Oh, so you're into a little begging, huh? Now that, I'd pay to see".
"001!"
Alexis merely laughed but thankfully stepped on the gas pedal. Or, at least, simply stepped on the gas pedal because Q didn't remain very thankful about it for long.
He quite liked it when the redhead was the one to pick him up in the mornings. She was definitely a lot saner than her packmates, and vicious sarcasm and outrageous flirtations aside, she never made him worry for his mental health. Q needed at least two or three hours to himself in the morning to prepare himself for a day filled with double-0 sized problems, and Alexis, at least, never added to those problems before he could have his morning tea.
Her driving, on the other hand…
Q gripped the edge of his seat and let out a startled yell as she took a corner far too fast and almost skidded into oncoming traffic. She simply grinned at the blare of horns she left in her wake and continued to floor it as they made their way to HQ.
He honestly wasn't sure if his sanity was worth the cost of his physical well-being.
They made it to MI6 in record time - at least an entire fifteen minutes quicker than any other double-0 could have brought them - and Duncan immediately demanded that both Jake and Q go straight to medical.
"Don't give me that look, brat, your wrist needs to be fucking wrapped and- Jake, don't you even think about arguing with me! I know for a fucking fact that you have two broken knuckles that need to be splinted, so march!"
Q wanted to protest - claim that he was fine and he had far too much work to be doing than sitting around in medical all morning - but his wrist really did hurt and he desperately wanted some painkillers that were stronger than his out-of-date paracetamol for his headache.
He also knew that he should expect a very strongly-worded speech from M sometime in the immediate future, so maybe if he willingly went to medical, the man's ire would be lessened somewhat.
He hoped.
Either way, ten minutes later they were sitting in the clinically white waiting room, Alexis having disappeared halfway there claiming that her "allergies" were acting up again.
Q honestly dreaded the day that she managed to get hurt, because getting her to go to the infirmary was going to be an absolute nightmare.
Doctor Arkov, thank god, was the head doctor on duty for the day, and after giving them all a very disapproving look - seriously, Q was mildly in awe at how scolded he felt - after they explained what had happened, he decided to start on Jake.
Jake who, for some strange inexplicable reason, actually obeyed the man and followed him into the patient's room without complaint.
Duncan caught Q staring in shock as the alpha willingly listened to the doctor, and sighed.
"Yeah… we don't know what's fucking wrong with him either".
"Has he always…?
"Let himself be led to medical like a lamb for slaughter? Yep".
"That's, uh…"
"Disturbing as fuck?"
"Actually, I was going to say relieving" Q replied, turning to him, "At least now I know that one of you idiots will never refuse medical care. Well, two, I guess, assuming that Milli is-"
"-also clinically insane? Yeah. She is".
The omega gave him a disapproving scowl that had no effect whatsoever, before turning back to the slim black case on his lap. Before he left, Jake had passed him his lockpicking set, to "experiment a bit" while he was otherwise occupied and Q could have kissed the man for it.
But.
You know.
Duncan was right there.
Unzipping the case, he carefully took out each tool one by one and examined them, mind racing at a hundred miles an hour with all the possibilities he had previously never even considered. He'd have to take photos, of course, for his files. If he could find a way of making them useful, even more useful than they already were, then maybe he could make them into a staple piece - something that he could outfit all of his agents with - and if that were the case, then it'd be his minions creating the sets or at least automating the process, so he'd need photos to show them what the original lock picks looked like, and what they should still look like even after all of the hidden gadgets were added to avoid any enemy suspicion and-
"You once told me that you would never help if I did something stupid".
Q hummed distractedly, reluctantly pulling his gaze away from the tools in front of him.
Duncan looked surprisingly… nervous.
"When Fitzroy was on that mission in Rotterdam, a few weeks back" he explained, "You were arguing about directions and him losing his equipment and you turned to me and said 'If you turn out to be as stupid as Saif is in the field, then you're on your own'".
Did all of the double-0s have eidetic memories? First Bond, then Jake, and now Duncan. Was this some sort of requirement that he didn't know about?
"I remember" he said instead, confused, "What about it?"
"Well… I did something pretty fucking stupid".
"And?"
"And… you still tried to find me".
Q blinked. Blinked again. And then blinked a third time for good measure but- nope. Duncan fucking Fortier was still staring back at him with stormy grey eyes and a clenched jaw and the expectation that his Quartermaster would have just… abandoned him.
"Do you really think so little of me?" he asked quietly.
Duncan jerked back, startled.
"What? No! Of course not! Why would I-"
"I don't know, 003, why would you? Did you honestly think that I just… left you there? That I didn't try everything I could to try and find you? That I didn't break at least a dozen European laws hacking into whatever government or criminal database that I could to try and find out what happened the very fucking second that you went offline?"
He stared back at him, seemingly shocked into silence.
"I've told you before, Duncan, but I'll tell you again. Your life is worth something" he continued, voice low but determined, "You are worth something. And I don't care how stupid or ridiculous or bloody self-sacrificing that you act, I will always try to bring you home, kicking and screaming and alive. I will always try to find you and I will never stop looking, no matter what M or the prime minister or the bloody Queen herself orders! Is that understood?!"
He nodded mutely.
"Good!" Q snapped, before settling back on the hard plastic chair, "Now, that being said, I absolutely forbid you from ever doing something so stupid and ridiculous and self-sacrificing again! And if you do, I'll- I'll- I'll bloody well send you back to Siberia handcuffed to Saif!"
"You wouldn't!"
"Watch me!"
They stared at each other for another moment, before they both smiled, Q's softer and more genuine whereas Duncan's looked almost pained.
"... Thanks".
"Of course" he said simply, turning back to the lock-picking set, "I also fully expect you to let Doctor Arkov check that bullet wound with minimal complaints and absolutely no growling".
"What?! No! You can't fucking make me-"
"I think you'll find that actually, I can. You see, it's quite simple, really. Either you let the good doctor look at your shoulder, 003, or I'll simply refuse to let him look at my wrist".
Duncan stared back at him, wide-eyed and clearly in shock, and the look would have been almost comical on anyone else, but given that Q knew exactly how much damage this man could inflict when pissed off…
Well.
He just hoped that his blackmail paid off.
"... You let that Arkov guy look at your wrist, and then he can check my shoulder".
"No. You let Arkov check your shoulder first, and then he can look at my wrist".
"And how do I know that you won't fucking back out of our deal once I've been examined?"
"How do I know that you won't?" he immediately countered, "Because, let's face it, 003. Out of the two of us, who, exactly, do you think is more likely to skip town just to avoid medical?"
Duncan maintained eye contact for approximately three seconds before looking away with a grimace.
"... Fine" he grumbled, "But agreeing to this doesn't mean I have to fucking like it!"
"I never said you had to" Q replied mildly, pulling out the next lock pick to examine, "In fact, being perfectly honest, I'd be rather scared if you did".
Just over fifteen minutes later, Jake reemerged from the doctor's room, the first three fingers of his right hand taped together and an icepack held over the bruises on his cheek.
Q felt equally ashamed and proud at being strong enough to leave a mark on a double-0.
Duncan reluctantly stood up, nodded at Jake, glared at Q, and then turned to the beta with a scowl.
"I… may or may not have possibly… gotten fucking shot".
Arkov raised a solitary unimpressed eyebrow.
"There is no may or may not about it, Agent Fortier. You were either shot or you weren't. Now, which is it?"
Q loved this guy.
"... I was".
"Well then" he finished, gesturing at the open door behind him, "Come right this way".
Jake smiled at Q as soon as the pair had disappeared, obviously pleased that he'd somehow blackmailed, bribed, and/or belittled the man into seeing an actually qualified medical professional.
"Let me guess, you used your own injuries against him?"
The omega blinked, surprised, and Jake laughed.
"Yeah, I may have played that card a time or two as well. We've done a few undercover ops together, and it hasn't always ended very… clean".
"Are you double-0s capable of leaving anything clean?" he countered wryly.
"Oh, you'd be surprised. Milli is definitely the best at leaving no loose ends with minimal property damage, but Charlie and Alexis are close seconds. I think James is the worst, but Alec has his moments… Word of advice? Don't ever send those two on a mission together".
"Given that one of them is currently AWOL, I'd say that's pretty unlikely to happen".
Jake gave a noncommittal shrug and Q found his curiosity - and double-0-trouble radar - piqued.
"Have you heard from him at all? 007?"
He looked almost... uncertain.
"James is… offline, a lot. He checks in just enough that we know he's still alive, but… well, for all intents and purposes, he's gone off-grid. He doesn't know what's happening here, and we don't know what's happening wherever he is".
"At all?"
"At all".
Q sat back, surprised. All along he'd assumed that James bloody Bond had been keeping in touch with the rest of the double-0s just as they'd been keeping in touch with each other. But if he really had gone incommunicado, as it were, with the entire pack then…
Then he wouldn't know about anything that had happened since January.
And a lot had happened since January.
Even though Q hadn't gotten to know the agent even a fraction as well as he'd gotten to know the other double-0s, he'd still found himself intrigued by the calculating, unflappable, yet vengeful monster in a suit during their brief time working together.
Although, granted, almost all of that work had been illegal in nature, and at least half of it had been watching the sociopath lie, kill, and sleep his way through most of Europe and North America…
But still.
He'd gotten along quite well with Bond; had found a kindred spirit in the man's dark humour and cutting wit, and if he were being perfectly honest, then he was quite disappointed that they didn't have more time together.
But for 007 to not even stay in contact with his pack was…
"Does he usually do that?"
"What? Go offline?" Jake asked, and Q nodded.
"Oh, yeah, sure. He dies at least once a year, although he's usually good enough to let us know he survived before he disappears for two months".
"... How considerate of him".
Jake shrugged again, smiling despite the ice pack he still held to his face.
"It's James. That's just how he is. We all have our little… quirks. And his, apparently, is reincarnation".
Q started as the door to the waiting room was suddenly flung open and a harried-looking Alec rushed in. As soon as he caught sight of the omega, he made a beeline over to him, completely bypassing Jake who had also jumped at the man's sudden entrance.
"Alexis said you were in medical, what happened?!" he demanded, crouching down in front of him and taking hold of his face so he could tilt it more towards the light.
"Nothing happened, you bloody idiot, I'm fine!"
"Fine doesn't equal bruises and a split lip, cub!"
"Jake and Duncan came back last night, and there was just a little… confusion, before we sorted everything out" Q said calmly, "Honestly, Alec, I'm fine".
He continued to study him closely, sea-green eyes roaming his face for any hint of deceit or half-truths, and the omegian side of Q's brain positively preened at the attention he was being given by the big strong alpha.
He mentally told his hindbrain to shut up, and gently told hold of Alec's hands to pull them away from his cheek.
"I'm fine" he repeated quietly, "It was just a quick scuffle in the dark before we realised what was happening. It's all just superficial stuff, I swear".
"... Alright" he finally replied, relocating from the floor to the chair next to him, his hands still clasping Q's on the omega's lap, "Alright, so, there's no one I need to kill?"
"Not today, at least".
"I can live with that. I'm pretty busy today, anyway. I don't know if I could've even fit it in".
"I thought you double-0s always had time for murder?"
"Well, apparently, M thinks that paperwork is more important, so lately, I've been trying to prioritize that instead".
Q couldn't fight back a smile at the absolute ridiculousness of the blond agent, and Alec gave a roguish grin in return that set his heart racing.
… Which led to that same incredibly unhelpful part of his brain wondering if James bloody Bond also found that grin attractive. Rumour had it that he and Alec were a bit closer than friends, after all, and although Q was initially surprised - given that alpha-alpha relationships were uncommonly rare even today - with those two, it just didn't seem so strange.
He could picture the pair as an item quite easily, and he was only slightly ashamed to say that those pictures had kept him up more than a few nights; Alec's laid-back and easygoing personality balancing out Bond's more serious and intense nature perfectly.
But if 007 hadn't been in contact with the rest of the pack, then it was highly unlikely that he'd spoken to Alec, either.
Q wondered if it was his place to ask Alec, if they were close enough yet, if they were there yet, where relationships and friends-with-benefits and personal lives could be topics of casual yet meaningful conversation.
But even if he did ask… he wasn't sure if he'd like either answer he could be given.
Either one, they were together, and Q would just have to live the rest of his life pining over two unavailable men who were already in a relationship with each other, or two, they weren't together, and Q would just have to live the rest of his life pining over two men that he would never in a million years be able to choose between.
There was also the issue of Doctor Swann, and of just how close she and James bloody Bond had been before they'd driven off into the sunset together, because that right there…
That right there was proof enough for Q to believe that the pair were in a relationship.
But then again, James bloody Bond always did enjoy defying expectations.
The sound of the door opening made him look up once more, and he blinked in surprise as the Chief of Staff cautiously stepped into the waiting room.
"Bill. Fancy meeting you here".
"Nothing fanciful about it, I'm afraid" he countered, "M sent me. Apparently there are two double-0s in the building who are still being declared AWOL".
"I mean… Jake's right there". He pointed, and the alpha gave a little wave. "And Duncan is in with Doctor Arkov right now, getting his shoulder stitched up. Both are back, safe and sound".
"And you didn't report this to M, why?"
Next to him, Alec gave a low warning growl. "If M is so bloody desperate to get his report, then why the hell didn't he come down here himself?"
"Officially? Because he's a very busy man, 006, who does not have time to be traipsing around MI6 trying to find wayward agents" Bill replied, unperturbed, "... Unofficially? I think he sent me because he was too scared to meet another double-0 after how you acted during your first meeting".
Alec grinned, completely unabashed, and Q very firmly told himself that no, his smile is not that adorable, and no, now is not a good time to be smiling back, and no, you cannot sneakily take a photo with your phone without any of the three highly trained special operatives noticing you!
"Things went a little… sideways" he said instead, "But if you contact MI5, then they'll be happy to tell you that 004 completed his liaison mission successfully, and despite the fact that 003 went a bit off-script, he ultimately collected far more information about that enemy base that we had originally anticipated".
"And this information is where?"
Q pulled the USB stick from his pocket and held it up for the man to see. Bill smirked, and walked over to take it with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
"You know, Quartermaster, if you ever decide to use your double-0 agent wrangling abilities for the dark side… we're gonna be fucked".
"Thank you" he replied succinctly, not even flinching as the man patted his shoulder, and- had the double-0s really managed to lower his guard that much that he didn't jump when other people touched him anymore? Or had his affection bar just been raised to new heights? His family was loving, of course, and affectionate in their own ways, but their own ways had never extended to physical contact before.
The double-0s were changing him just as much as he was changing them.
"This should hopefully tide M over for another few hours" Bill continued, completely unaware of Q's inner turmoil, "But I'd still advise that you get a report on his desk by sundown. And be sure to mention the fact that you went to medical unprompted. He'll love that".
"It's one of the reasons I came" the omega agreed, not even noticing when Alec retook his hands with his own once the USB was safely held in Tanner's grasp, "I'll make sure he has both mission debriefs by tomorrow morning".
"Good. Thank you". He nodded, once. "And if that's all, then I'll gladly see myself out. I'm just about due another physical, I believe, and I'd rather postpone it for as long as possible".
Duncan and Doctor Arkov stepped out of the patient's room only seconds after Bill left, and while the former headed straight for Jake, when the latter caught sight of Alec sitting there, he paused.
"... I'm impressed. Three double-0s willingly attending medical in one day?" He gave Q an amused look. "You need to come down here more often".
Three vicious growls reverberated around the room.
"... Or maybe not".
Q sighed. "Ignore them. They're all talk".
Duncan turned to him in disbelief. "We literally fucking murdered a man for you!"
There was a beat of silence.
Q gave Arkov a side-eyed look.
"You did not just hear that".
"No I did not" he quickly agreed, "And, in fact, while I'm busy not hearing things, I'm just going to go ahead and tidy up the examination room for my next patient".
He quickly shut the door behind him.
Q turned to Alec and gently yet firmly pulled his hands from his admittedly warm grasp.
"That's you, by the way".
"That's me what, cub?"
"His next patient" he explained, "It's you. You're going in there next".
"What? No! I didn't come down here to see a doctor, I came down here because you're-"
"-injured, yes, I know" Q replied calmly, "And I'm going to stay injured, until you get that check-up you skipped two days ago. Don't think I hadn't noticed".
"But-"
"No".
"You can't-"
"Yes, I can".
"I just-"
"You're just going to march into that room and let Doctor Arkov check your injuries. Now, Alec".
The alpha stared at him in disbelief for a moment before standing up with a pout and crossed arms.
"This is blackmail!"
"I shall neither confirm nor deny any allegations of blackmail that may or may not have transpired in this room" Q replied mildly, "... Although I will say, that it's a surprisingly effective form of bribery where you double-0s are concerned".
Duncan snorted. "Welcome to the fucking club, Trevelyan".
Alec stared at him for a moment, before spinning back around to face Q in equal parts disbelief and outrage.
"You little traitor! And here I thought I was special!"
"Just cause you're his favourite, Trevelyan, doesn't mean you're the only fucking one he cares about".
Q felt his face flush at the man's blunt words, but knew for a fact that he was too terrible a liar to deny the accusation. Alec, too, seemed suddenly wrongfooted, as if he hadn't expected that to have ever come from the grumpy agent's mouth, but the omega still met his gaze evenly and pointed at the door opposite.
"Medical check. Now".
Alec pouted once more, making him appear more boyish than childish, and opened his mouth to retort something that would no doubt be yet another reason as to why he couldn't go in, but before he could say anything, from somewhere in the room something beeped.
Frowning, the blond reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, just as Duncan and Jake did the same. Q frowned too, not entirely sure if it was a good or bad sign that all three double-0s had apparently gotten the same message, but just as he was about to ask what the hell is going on, Alec grinned.
Alec grinned, wide and free and happy with just a hint of the sharp canines that betrayed his otherwise harmless appearance.
Glancing up from the screen, he gave Q the most excited look that the omega had ever seen on any of the double-0s, before holding up his phone, still grinning, and simply saying-
"James is back".