The Job Comes Second
Q almost cried in relief as Bill's peppermint scent reached him not ten minutes later.
"Quartermaster? R said you wanted to- Good god, man, are you alright?!"
"No". He gave a sudden laugh, which was tinged with more than a little bit of hysteria. "No, I am very much not alright and- I'm sorry, but I have a very very strange favour to ask of you and- and please feel free to say no because, well, like I said, it's- it's strange and weird and- and unprofessional and-"
"Q" he interrupted gently, shutting the door behind him, "What is it?"
"... Can I hug you?"
The beta blinked, once, twice, and then a third time, before giving a somewhat confused nod. Q wasted no time in leaping up from his chair, rushing around the desk, and all but collapsing in the man's arms.
It was awkward, at first, as all hugs with new people were, but after a moment or two of shuffling and maneuvering and gentle guidance from Bill, Q was finally surrounded by warm arms that anchored him in place. He felt absurdly grateful that the man had young children at home, because right now, he felt like he was seven years old again, being hugged by his older brother after the other kids in year six had called him names.
It wasn't as good as a double-0 hug, and Bill's scent was all wrong to have any sort of calming effect on him, but it was grounding and stabilising and kept him in the present.
They stood there, in silence, long enough for Q to lose track of time, but equally long enough for him to get his breathing back under control and his heart rate down and a sharp stinging pain in his hand to make itself known.
Once his scent became less distressed, less scared and panicked and anxious, Bill spoke again.
"What happened, Q?"
"... 007 just tried to compel me".
"He did what?!"
The omega immediately tightened his grip around the man's back as he tried to struggle free, the beta's entire body vibrating with anger, and for a split second Q actually wondered if the man wasn't really an alpha after all.
It was always the quiet ones that you had to look out for.
"He didn't succeed. Obviously" he continued, mumbling against the white shirt his face was pressed against, "And I punched him for it too".
"You- He- It was- You punched 007?!"
"He deserved it".
"I wholeheartedly agree. What I'm surprised at, is that he let you live afterwards".
"He was… in shock, I think. I don't believe he meant to compel me; he was so angry, it just sort of… happened".
"That's a hell of a thing to just sort of happen, Q. Are you alright? No, wait, don't answer that; it's a stupid thing to ask".
Q gave a small smile, despite the fact that the man couldn't see.
"I'm… not feeling very good right now, no. But this is helping. The hug. You being here. Talking. I don't… Thank you".
"Of course" Bill replied, tightening his hold around the omega's smaller frame, "I would say anytime, but quite frankly, I'm not sure if 007 will live long enough to try again".
"You're the Chief of Staff. It'd be a bit hypocritical for you to murder one, don't you think?"
"Who said anything about me doing it? Do those other terrors know yet?"
"... I hope not" Q admitted, "R sent two of my minions to find them once Bond started getting… aggressive. I don't know if they succeeded or not, but the entire branch saw what happened so-"
"-so it won't take long for the rumours to start to spread" he finished knowingly, "Have you told M?"
He shook his head.
"You'll have to file an incident report, you know. What 007 did… This is bad, Q. Really bad. There's a pretty high chance that he'll be retired for what he's done".
The omega flinched.
Retired.
There was only one way that a double-0 retired, after all, and it certainly didn't come with a pension. But as angry and furious and pissed off as he was with James bloody Bond right now… he didn't want the man to die.
It would upset Alec, for starters, as well as Charlie and Alexis. And Q had seen the other side of Bond, had spoken to and worked with and enjoyed the company of the man, back when he'd been masquerading as a beta, so he clearly wasn't all bad. He'd just let his anger take over him, that was all, and if Q were a betting man... he'd say that an omega being in such a high position of power probably scared Bond more than it angered him, and the double-0, along with the rest of his pack, were notoriously bad at dealing with their emotions.
And besides, it'd be a waste of a damn good agent, too.
Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for the oncoming storm, before slowly, reluctantly, letting go of Bill and taking a step back.
The beta peered down at him with kind blue eyes and seemed to know what he was thinking.
"What do you need me to do?"
Q swallowed thickly, pulling out his phone and sending off a quick text with his uninjured hand, before turning back to the man.
"Damage control".
There had to be some sort of world record for the fastest possible arrival of eight people to one place, because it wasn't even five minutes after Q messaged them that the other double-0s arrived.
Bill had only just left, rather disgruntled that the omega had forbidden him from telling M, but right now, Q had more important things to worry about - namely, the collaring of eight murderous beasts. So he asked Bill to inform Eve, under the strict condition that she didn't tell M, and definitely not Edie either, for that matter, and the man had reluctantly but understandably agreed.
Which led to now.
As soon as the pack saw his red-eyed, flustered, and slightly scared state, a low growl reverberated around the room, and two of double-0s - Duncan and Milli - stood guard at the door, three of the remainders - Alec, Saif, and Alexis - immediately swarmed him with cuddles, and the rest - Charlie, Edie, and Jake - set up a protective perimeter by the window.
From the middle of the four-way hug, Q couldn't help but smile.
"That glass is blast-proof, you know".
"Doesn't matter" Edie growled, "What happened?"
"What makes you think that something happened?
"You're trembling, cub" Alec said quietly, pulling back just far enough to meet his gaze head-on, "So what happened, and who do we need to kill?"
Your partner.
Q took a deep breath and wriggled free of their hold, much to the three alpha's displeasure. He was already feeling better after Bill's warm hug, so the scent of the double-0s wasn't upsetting in the slightest anymore, and instead, he felt calmer and more secure than ever.
Which is exactly how he needed to feel for the following conversation.
"First of all, there will be no killing of anyone, do you hear me?"
"So someone has upset you" Alexis said quickly, "Who?"
"... We'll get to that a bit later, but now-"
"It was Bond, wasn't it?"
Q turned to Charlie as he spoke, the man's baby blue eyes staring back at him imploringly.
"What makes you say that?"
"The fact that you called us in here to tell us yourself, before we heard any rumours and acted rashly. The fact that he's the only double-0 currently not in this room, and you didn't include him in your chain message. The fact that you've already said we're not allowed to kill whoever it was that hurt you, meaning that we already know them, and more importantly, we know where to find them".
There was a moment of tense silence before Q sighed.
"It's always the quiet ones…"
"So it was James?" Alec pressed, eyes wide and almost shocked, "He… He hurt you?"
"He didn't hurt me-"
"Your hand is bleeding" Charlie interrupted, and the omega was once again reminded of just how observant the lanky man actually was.
Immediately, there was a cacophony of alarm, as the double-0s all rushed over to assess the damage, before grudgingly moving aside as Duncan snapped at them.
"I'm the only fucking one here who completed the first aid course, so move! And you! Give me your hand".
Q was half-tempted to give him the uninjured one, just to see what he'd do, but given that 003 was already glaring at him like this entire debacle was his fault to begin with, he decided not to push his luck.
Duncan carefully took his right hand in his own and scowled when he saw blood staining pale skin and a badly bruised pinkie finger. He gently poked and prodded until Q winced as he tried to bend the joint back.
"Congratulations, brat, you've managed to break your fifth fucking metacarpal".
At his confused look, the alpha elaborated.
"It's the small narrow bone connecting the knuckle of your fifth finger to the rest of your fucking hand. The joint at the base of your finger seems fine, but you'll still need an x-ray to confirm… The bone itself is fucked".
Q forced a smile. "Is that your professional opinion, doc?"
Duncan gave him a look. "You know, an interesting thing about this kind of break - it's commonly known as a boxer's fracture. Want to take a fucking guess as to why?"
The omega remained silent, instead watching as a small bead of blood bubbled up on his hand. He must have gotten his skin caught against Bond's teeth for it to have split like that, and he distantly wondered just how bad the alpha's own injuries were.
"No? Well then. Let me enlighten you. It's pretty fucking difficult to break only this bone. It usually happens when someone hits a wall or another hard object, like someone's fucking head. Given that there's no missing plasterboard in here, and you were suspiciously quiet about the injury until Blair pointed it out, there's only one fucking conclusion that I can come to. So I'm only going to ask you once, brat".
Stormy grey eyes pierced his very soul.
"Did you punch James fucking Bond in the face?"
Q ignored the surprised, shocked, and disbelieving exclamations around them, and stared right back.
"... Yes".
Duncan nodded, once, and then something suspiciously like a smile quirked up the corner of his mouth.
"Nice job".
"What?!" Alec exclaimed, "Cub? Surely you didn't… I mean, I know James has been a bit-"
"-of an ass?" Edie said sweetly.
"-a biggoted prat?" Jake added.
"-an asshat?" Saif finished, and Edie frowned. "I already said ass".
"I know, but yours didn't have a hat".
"-difficult" Alec finished firmly, glaring at both of them, before turning back to Q, "But I didn't think he'd gone so far for you to punch him!"
"Wait" Saif interrupted, "Wasn't James in the field yesterday? And today, as well?"
"He came back this morning" Alexis answered, although her eyes remained firmly on the omega, "What I want to know, is what he did on that mission to result in our cute little boffin here hitting him when he returned".
"He fucked up!" Q snapped, "He fucked up completely and irreparably and for no damn reason asides from his own ego getting in the way of taking orders from an omega!"
Another growl echoed across the room, and he desperately hoped that the sound didn't reach the main branch below, in case one of his minions decided to check it out and then proceed to get murdered for their trouble.
"And that's why you punched him? That seems a little extreme, cub. I mean, if it were one of us running comms, then sure, but you've never resorted to violence before".
Q avoided his gaze and tried to think of some calm, unassuming way to say 'hey, your partner just violated my trust in the worst possible way and may be assassinated because of it'.
Unsurprisingly, it was a rather difficult task to do.
"No… No, that's not why, it is?" Charlie said suddenly, still far too observant for his own good, "If it were that simple, then you'd have sent Bond to Tanner or M for disciplinary action. This wasn't because of the mission, this was… this was personal".
Q slowly stepped away and leaned back against his desk, his hand throbbing in pain now that he'd been made aware of it, and a pounding headache to make itself known as his body began to collapse from the stress of the previous few hours.
"Sweetheart?" Edie prompted, "Not that I'm complaining, but why, exactly, did you punch James?"
"Because-"
He cut himself off, feeling oddly like an executioner about to sign off on Bond's death warrant.
"... Because he tried to compel me".
A sudden silence seemed to fall upon the room.
It was the type of tense, still, oppressiveness that Q had only ever associated with funerals. The double-0s were motionless, frozen in place like statues, hardly even appearing to breathe. He could see the gears turning behind blank eyes, the words "Q" and "James" and "compulsion" circling round and round in their minds, hitting off each other but never quite clicking into place.
And then, just like that, the spell was broken.
"I'm going to fucking slaughter him!" Edie snarled, stalking towards the door, but the omega was quicker, spinning around and lunging for the button underneath his desk that activated the electromagnetic locks, strong enough to keep even a double-0 out of his office.
Or in, as it were.
"Open the door, Q".
"No".
"Open the damn door!"
"No!"
"Sweetheart, I love you, but if you don't open this fucking door right now-"
"I'll open it after you've listened to me!"
"Listened to you? I've already heard enough. James fucking Bond is going to die for what he did!"
"No, he's not, because I forbid you from murdering him!"
"You're going to protect him?! After- After he committed the worst possible fucking crime than an alpha is capable of?!"
"Yes, 009, I am! Now sit down and shut up and listen to me!" Q yelled, chest heaving as he panted for breath, "And that order goes for the rest of you lot, too. Sit down. NOW!"
Thirty seconds later, he had eight double-0s on one of the room, five of them squished onto the lumpy old couch, while the rest - Edie, Duncan, and Saif - sat on the floor in front of it, all three agents looking like they were a split second away from shooting through the wall in order to get out.
Q closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath.
"Bond fucked up" he said simply, "In more sense than one. But he's a good agent, and a good friend. Not to me, obviously, not right now, but… back in December, he was. And yes, this mission was a disaster from the beginning, and yes, it is one-hundred-percent Bond's fault that it was, but that doesn't mean that it still didn't affect him".
He met each of their gazes evenly.
"You all know what it's like post-mission. And I know I'm not exaggerating or- or bragging when I say that me being here, and me being an omega, has made the aftermath a million times easier for you guys to deal with. But Bond didn't have that. And I know it's his own fault, and, believe me, I am not for one second trying to condone what he did… but I also know that when he came into my lab today, he was at his worst. His very worst. And he lashed out, and we argued, and it was about to come to blows before he tried to compel me... So I punched him".
Duncan snorted, looking marginally more relaxed, but both Edie and Saif still had murder in their eyes.
"And as soon as I did, he snapped out of it. He realised what he'd done, realised what he'd almost done… So I ordered him to leave, and he left" Q finished, "I'm not justifying his actions. I'm not saying I forgive him, because I sure as fuck do not. And I'm not saying that you have to forgive him either. All I'm saying is… he was in a bad place, and he dealt with it inappropriately. You've all had terrible missions in the past, so you should know what it's like, at least, in part.Yes, he fucked up big time. But no, that does not mean that you are allowed to murder him!"
"But-"
"No!"
Edie shut her mouth with a click.
"Each and every single one of you are going to promise me that you will not kill James bloody Bond before I let you out of this room!"
There was a half-hearted murmur of agreements.
"Edie? Saif?"
She reluctantly nodded, although the look in her dark eyes told him that she was already trying to come up with a loophole. Saif, on the other hand, asked him for one outright.
"Are we allowed to maim him?"
"No".
"Dismemberment?"
"Nope".
"A harmless bullet wound?"
"No".
"... What about a knife-"
"No!" he exclaimed, "No weapons. At all. Of any kind. Do I make myself clear?!"
The bronze-skinned man eventually, slowly, ever-so-slowly, nodded.
"Good. And that goes for all of you. If I hear that a single one of you has tried to shoot, stab, or kill James bloody Bond - or gotten anyone else to do it for you, for that matter - then you will never, ever, ever get to pet, hug, or even talk to me ever again. Understood?"
"Understood".
He nodded, once, decisively, before reaching back under the desk to unlock the door.
"Thank you. In that case, you are free to-"
"Quartermaster?"
Q was startled as his office door suddenly opened and M appeared with a brown paper file in hand.
Duncan immediately snarled, but quietened when the omega gave him a sharp "shush!"
Nevertheless, M gave the man a cautious look, and when he realised that it wasn't just one double-0 in the same room as him, but eight, his expression became distinctly nervous.
Q felt a twisted sense of amusement at that, and he wondered if this was the first time that the Head of MI6 felt unsafe in his own domain.
"Is this a bad time?"
"Not at all, sir" he quickly replied, "The double-0s were just leaving".
Both Alexis and Jake gave him an almost betrayed look at that, but still obediently followed the rest of their packmates out of his office. M watched them go with keen eyes, giving each of the agents a wide berth despite the fact that they didn't even glance once in his direction.
Alec, however, hesitated, waiting until the others had all left before turning back to the omega and stepping closer.
There was an odd look on his face, not quite conflicted but something close, and Q couldn't help but smile.
"I'm not going to ask you to choose a side, Alec. That wouldn't be fair to anyone. Just… Just do whatever you think is best. For you, not for me".
He paused for another minute, before nodding silently, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on the omega's forehead before following his cohorts out of the office and shutting the door behind him.
M watched the scene in front of him with raised eyebrows, waiting until the agent had gone before speaking.
"Do I even want to know?"
"Probably not" he admitted, "But at least I've taken murder off the table".
"You don't think 007 deserves it?"
"Not really. I mean, if it were anyone else, I'd-"
Q froze.
You don't think 007 deserves it?
M knew.
You don't think 007 deserves it?
M knew.
But how?! He'd forbidden Bill from telling him, and Eve, too, by proxy. The double-0s he'd told himself and they had only just now left, not to mind the fact that every single one of them would choose to enact their own form of retribution for James instead of going to their boss anyway. But he knows that he can trust his branch to keep their mouths shut, and R wouldn't betray him like that, not without his permission, so just who the hell had told-
"Do you remember, Quartermaster, when I told you to contact me if Bond behaved any worse?"
He closed his eyes. "Yes sir".
"And do you remember when you promised me that you would?"
He nodded. "Yes sir".
"And do you also remember, perhaps, proceeding to just... not do that despite your promise?"
The omega carefully avoided his gaze. "... Yes sir".
A pause, a deep breath, and then-
"What the fuck, Q?"
"I was going to tell you!" he exclaimed, "Honestly, I was! I just… I had to do a little damage control first".
"You-" M paused, seemed to think for a minute, and then reluctantly nodded. "Okay, that's… a reasonable reaction, I will admit, especially where the double-0s are concerned. But you still should have told me the very second after it happened!"
"The very second after it happened, I was too busy punching Bond to do anything else".
Mallory stopped. Blinked. Stared at him. And then slowly shook his head with a look that could only be described as pure and utter exasperation.
"Why is it that every single time I finally think that I'm starting to understand you, you go and pull something like this?!"
"Sir, I know that assaulting a subordinate isn't exactly allowed-"
"Fuck assaulting a subordinate, Q, he compelled you!"
"He tried to compel me! But he failed!"
M let out a heavy breath, his hand coming up to rub over tired eyes.
"... I'm not even going to ask how you managed to get out of that command, because chances are, you wouldn't tell me if I did. The fact of the matter is, one of the most dangerous men alive tried to compel you for no damn reason. The penalty for that is life imprisonment. The penalty for someone like 007 is death".
"I know" Q said quietly, "Which is why I'm not pressing charges".
"You're not- He just- It was-"
"-a once off" he interrupted firmly, "Believe me, sir, I know exactly the type of alpha that uses compulsions for their own sick pleasure, and James Bond is not that kind of alpha. We were both at our worst, we both said things we shouldn't have, and… yeah, he tried to compel me. But it won't happen again, I promise you that. As soon as he realised what'd done, he was… appalled at himself. Guilty, almost. I obviously don't know this for certain, but if I had to guess, then... I'd say that he regrets it. Immensely. Which is why I'm not pressing charges, and why 007 isn't going to be retired".
M studied him closely for a moment, as if gauging the truth in his words, before finally, finally, letting his shoulders fall as all tension left his body.
"Well, you're right about one thing" he replied, holding out the file in his hands, "007 does feel remorse… or, at least, whatever constitutes as remorse for a man who kills people for a living".
Confused, Q slowly took the folder and flipped open the first page.
It was an incident report.
An incident report written in Bond's own hand, detailing exactly what had happened that morning, from their argument to his attempt at compulsion to-
To nothing.
The omega quickly flipped over the page, but it was blank.
Bond hadn't included the part where Q had punched him.
He had included their fight, almost word for word, but had also clearly stated that he was not only the instigator, but also the one who had kept the argument going. He had included Q stepping around his desk - but not the shove - and then wrote out, letter by letter, what he had said when he'd tried to command him.
The Quartermaster fought off the compulsion, I realised what I'd done, and so I immediately left.
No shoving, no punching, no threats of ripping out his throat and-
"007 handed this into HR not fifteen minutes ago. Given the nature of the attack, and especially given that it was between a double-0 and the Quartermaster of MI6, it was rather hurriedly sent up the ladder until it landed on my desk".
Which explained how M knew.
"The report offers more than enough evidence, and considering that it was written by the guilty party, there will be no need for a trial". The alpha held up a pen. "All it needs is the Quartermaster's signature".
Q was hit by a sudden sense of dejavú so strong that he had to reach out one hand behind him to steady himself against the desk.
He swallowed thickly, his throat feeling strangely tight.
"What happens if I sign it?"
"007 will be retired. Effective immediately".
"... And if I don't?"
M's blue eyes turned sharp.
"Do you believe that the other double-0s will exact enough retribution for you?"
"I believe in second chances. And not in murdering the agents I've sworn to protect".
"... If you don't sign it, then the claim will be rejected, and the incident file will be declared null and void. Nothing will come of it".
Q slowly nodded.
And then promptly ripped the report in half.