Anatomy Class
Five bloody floors.
Five bloody floors from the canteen on the fifth level down to medical on the ground level and did James bloody Bond even consider putting him down even just once?
Of course he bloody didn't.
The bastard even took the lift! If he wanted to avoid people then he could have just taken the stairs - it clearly wasn't a hardship for him to walk with Q thrown over his shoulder - but instead, he took the elevator and nodded and smiled pleasantly at everyone who got on and off at each of the five bloody floors until they finally reached their destination.
Q lowkey hated him for it, but on the other hand, it also gave him five bloody floors to fully appreciate the masterpiece that was Bond's ass, so he wasn't sure if he was in any position to complain.
He didn't even put him down when they reached medical, instead giving a no-doubt charming smirk to the nearest nurse and asking if the Quartermaster's primary physician was available. The man had nodded and smiled, clearly flustered - and clearly new if he actually thought for one second that James wasn't just like that to everyone - and then showed them to an empty patient's room before running off to find Doctor Arkov.
Bond only decided to let the omega free once they were safely inside with the door closed behind them, and even then, he chose to sit on the bed next to Q rather than lurk menacingly in the corner as the double-0s were wont to do.
It was interesting to see the alpha's natural protective impulses override whatever personal feelings he had about Q.
Or maybe, just maybe, he really was starting to care about him.
I'm not doing this because I'm an alpha and you're an omega. I'm doing this because you're injured and you're my friend.
Maybe James really was working through his issues with Q's dynamic.
The Quartermaster frowned at the thought, wondering if anyone could change their belief system so thoroughly so quickly, before realising that this was a double-0 he was talking about - and that because of their job, double-0s changed their belief systems daily.
James kept a respectable distance between them when he joined him on the edge of the hospital bed, although it hadn't escaped Q's notice that the alpha had elected to sit on his injured side rather than his good one.
He wondered distantly if Bond even realised what he was doing.
He seemed oddly… jittery, almost, tense even. Not in a stressed-out way, but in an agitated way, like he was expecting someone to jump out and say boo at any moment.
Q was suddenly struck by the thought that this was the first time they'd been alone in a room together in months... In forever, actually, he realised, because even before he'd revealed his dynamic, even before James had driven off into the sunset with Madeleine Swann - there had always been a buffer between them, whether that was his minions, Bill, or even Doctor Swann herself.
This was the first time that they had ever been well and truly alone together.
There was a burst of laughter from someone in the corridor, and Bond immediately straightened up, his hand jerking inside his suit jacket where Q knew a shoulder holster was hidden. His eyes, as piercing as ever, latched on to the frosted glass of the door as the shadowed outline of two people walked by.
It was only after an entire two minutes had passed did James avert his gaze, and it was another entire three minutes after that did Q realise three very important things.
Firstly, James wasn't acting jumpy because he didn't know how to interact with Q while they were alone - he was just jumpy in general right now.
Secondly, Q was an absolute idiot, because he had seen this before, he had dealt with this before, because-
Thirdly, 007 had just returned from active duty. He was quite literally fresh off the plane from his latest mission - an adrenaline-filled, getting shot at, and blowing shit up kind of mission. And all of the double-0s, even 00-bloody-7, were barely more than mindless beasts when they were this worked up.
In fact, now that Q thought about it, that was probably why James had stopped to make him tea before reporting in, to begin with. He knew the kind of state he'd be in directly post-op, knew that all of that adrenaline and anger would be clouding his scent, souring it and making it bitter.
Knew that showing up in Q's office while his brain was still in murder mode could be misconstrued as him being aggressive, and he didn't want to risk damaging whatever sort of relationship they now tentatively had.
It would also explain why he had carried him here, the omega realised. His own scent had calmed down every single one of the post-mission double-0s in the past, after all, and no matter what the man thought about omegas, he couldn't prevent his own biology from reacting to one. By picking him up and carrying him the entire way to medical, he'd gotten a burst of that scent, a quick shot of Q's pheromones that helped settle and subdue worked-up alphas whether they liked it or not.
Despite what James had said, they weren't quite friends yet - at least, not to the same extent they'd once been, so it wasn't as if the man could have simply asked Q if he could breathe him in for a while - no matter how much he clearly needed it.
Another pair of strangers walked past the door, and the alpha tensed up once more, one hand gripping the edge of the bedsheets with white knuckles.
Swallowing thickly, Q slowly, cautiously, shuffled closer until they were pressed together from shoulder to hip to knee, and James actually flinched at the contact.
Jerking around, his blue gaze pinned Q in place, a million emotions flashing through it so fast that the omega couldn't keep up. So instead, he settled for giving the man a soft, reassuring smile.
That seemed to confuse him even more, and his brows furrowed as he stared, as though Q was a particularly challenging jigsaw puzzle that he was missing a few pieces of. Fortunately - or unfortunately, perhaps - as tightly controlled as Bond was with his own emotions and reactions, the one thing he couldn't control was biology, and within seconds of sitting so close to a calm, relaxed omega, his own body started to relax as well.
Which was probably a good thing, since it meant that the idiot only growled at Doctor Arkov when he opened the door without warning, rather than jumping across the room and mauling the poor man.
Arkov, to his credit, didn't even blink, instead simply raising an eyebrow at the sight in front of him, before turning to face Q with a sigh.
"Collected another one, have you?"
"More like he collected me" he admitted, "And then wouldn't let me go until we got to medical".
"Well, at least this one's got half a brain" he muttered, closing the door behind him, "Alright, out with it, what happened?"
"Some bigoted prat in accounting decided to trip me for a laugh. I landed pretty hard on my bad wrist, so I think it's sprained again".
Doctor Arkov hummed, pulling on a pair of disposable gloves and dragging a chair over to the bed so he could examine Q's arm himself.
"Any pain?"
"Yeah. It's… similar to when I first sprained it, but more… achy, I guess? It's definitely sore, but it's a different type of pain than before".
The beta carefully poked and prodded at swollen skin and Q barely bit back a yelp at the sharp throb his wrist gave in response.
"Well, I have good news and I have bad news".
"What's the bad news?"
"It's not sprained. It's broken".
Next to him, James let out a vicious snarl, but they both ignored him with surprising ease.
"What's the good news?"
"You'll get to see our x-ray room".
Q gave the man a dark look, and Arkov smirked before shaking his head.
"It's not a bad fracture, from what I can tell, and I don't think it's displaced either, which means no surgery for you. It seems to be your scaphoid that took the brunt of the fall, so if we're lucky, then you'll be able to get away with using a splint for a few weeks rather than needing a cast. But like I said, the x-ray will tell us more... On the plus side, your fifth metacarpal seems to be completely healed, so I can take the bandages off of your fingers today as well".
It really said something about his life at MI6 to have one broken bone heal just as another bone broke.
Q sighed.
"... Yeah, alright" he replied, standing up, "Bond, stay".
"Stay? No! I'm not going to-"
"Stay!" he snapped, levelling him with a look, "We'll only be gone for a few minutes, and merlin knows that Doctor Arkov doesn't need you running underfoot! I'll be back soon, I promise".
James still looked more than a little bit annoyed, but he reluctantly nodded all the same, and Q felt those piercing blue eyes on the back of his head until the door shut behind him.
True to his word, Arkov x-rayed, splinted, and thankfully drugged Q in record time, and fifteen minutes later, they re-entered the patient's room only to find James bloody Bond looking far too innocent as he quickly slipped his phone back into his pocket.
Q narrowed his eyes at him.
"What were you doing?"
"Nothing. Just staying. Like you told me to".
He didn't buy into that for one moment.
Before the omega could interrogate the man further, however, Arkov gestured for him to sit back down so he could cut through the thick bandages holding the last two fingers on his right hand together.
"Let me know if that splint causes you any trouble" he finished, taking off the gloves and tossing them in the rubbish bin next to the door, "It should only take three to five weeks before it's ready to come off again, and then we'll do another x-ray to make sure everything's healing up nicely".
"Can I go back to work now?"
"Ideally, no. But since I know that I can't convince you to take the rest of the day off, at least let me put my mind at ease by staying here for another half hour". He quickly raised a hand as Q tried to protest. "Just until the local anaesthetic wears off. It'll feel tingly, like a mild burning sensation, but that's normal. And besides, it's not as if you can get much work done with your right hand numb, now is it?"
Once again, the doctor showcased his incredible skills of disapproval as he gave the omega a look that would make even a double-0 feel scolded, and Q found himself nodding against his will.
"Good. 007, let me know if he tries to leave early, would you?"
"Yes sir".
Q immediately shot him a betrayed scowl, but the alpha merely smirked in response, as irresistibly and infuriatingly charming as ever.
Doctor Arkov gave them a nod as he left, but before the omega could open his mouth to hopefully bribe the traitor with explosions, the door was reopened and a very unimpressed Alec Trevelyan stood there, arms folded across his chest and a reprimanding look on his face.
"I leave you alone for five minutes-"
"It wasn't my fault!"
"I'm sure it wasn't. Doesn't mean that the fact you're in medical pisses me off any less". He sighed and stepped into the room, walking over to sit down on Q's opposite side. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, he said. Text Charlie, he said. I'll be fine, he said. And what happens? I get a text from James instead saying that you've suddenly got a broken wrist!"
"... To be fair, I didn't actually say that last one".
Alec threw his arm over his shoulders and pulled him close against his side. "What the hell happened, cub?"
"An idiot from accounting happened" he mumbled, voice muffled as he turned his head to bury his face in Alec's shirt, "He thought it'd be funny to trip the single omega when there were no big bad alphas around to save him".
He snorted. "Shows what he knew about you. I take it that you rather quickly and effectively put him in his place?"
"I threatened to send a dick pic to his mother... and also maybe commit identity theft and fraud".
"Atta boy". Q didn't need to be looking at him to know that the alpha was grinning. "So where does James fit into all of this?"
Q also didn't need to be looking at him to know that he was giving Bond a rather threatening yet dubious scowl right now.
"The idiot accountant didn't see him come in, and then the traitor forced me to come to medical!"
"Good".
"Good?!" he exclaimed, pulling back so he could glare at the other, second traitor, "How is that good?! You lot never have to go to medical so why should I?"
"And remind me again, just how many of my check-ups did you allow me to miss?"
Q immediately flushed and buried his face once more against the alpha's chest.
"That was different! You could have died because of that stupid drug!"
"Yeah, and maybe you could have died because of that stupid accountant".
"He tripped me, Alec, he didn't pull out a gun".
"Lucky for him" James said darkly, starting the omega, "Because he wouldn't have left that room alive if he had".
The Quartermaster pulled away once more, this time turning to face Bond instead. The man was certainly less jittery than before, although whether that was because of Q, Alec, or the passing of time, he wasn't sure. He also wasn't keeping as great a distance between them on the hospital bed, although again, Q didn't know if that was purposeful or not. Overall, he looked remarkably calmer than he had when they'd first arrived though, so he decided to count it as a win.
"Would you have killed him?" he asked curiously, "If he had pulled out a gun?"
There was no hesitation.
"Yes".
Q blinked, slowly.
"Because I'm your Quartermaster?"
James met his gaze evenly.
"... Because you're my friend".
Before Q could even reply to that little face-smacking revelation, the door to the hospital room was flung open once again, and he distantly wondered if anyone in this entire damn building ever learned how to knock.
"Where is he?!" Edie snarled, marching in, before immediately lunging for Q as soon as she caught sight of him.
Behind her, Q was equal parts dismayed and relieved to find the rest of the pack stride in as well, and he inwardly smirked at the thought of just how many nurses and doctors they'd given heart attacks to as not one, not two, but seven furious double-0s prowled down the corridors.
Good thing they were in medical.
Being smushed to death against Edie's admittedly comfortable cleavage was unfortunately not a new experience to Q, but being tugged between six other angry worried alphas at the exact same time, was.
"No! Get off! He's mine!" Edie snapped, and Saif growled in response. "You've already been hugging him for an entire thirty seconds! It's my turn!"
"I'm the only trained fucking medic here, so if anyone should get to look at the brat, it should be me!"
"Oh fuck off, Fortier, you're not the only one who cares about him! But I'm your favourite, right hun?"
"Don't be ridiculous! I'm the one who makes him the best tea, so if anyone gets to hug him next, it's me!"
"Mukundwa, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I like to think that we have a bond, don't you?"
Between all of the incessant tugging and pulling and warm bodies passing him back and forth, Q caught a glimpse of Milli standing by the door, looking delicate and fragile and strangely proud.
Catching his eye, she gavest the barest hint of a smile.
"I admire your ability to render intelligent beings idioter. It is very advantageous".
And although Q didn't speak Norwegian, he found that he didn't need a translator for that particular word.
After another five minutes of this back and forth, he finally had enough and he blatantly ignored the pout that Alexis gave him and the disgruntled sound that Saif made as he pulled away from them.
Sitting back up on the bed in between the other two sane people in the people - well, them plus Milli - he gave James a sideways look.
"It wasn't just Alec you texted, was it?"
The man looked vaguely shell-shocked as he wordlessly shook his head.
Unfortunately, however, that single movement drew the attention of the rest of the pack, and within seconds, they all launched themselves at him too.
"How could you let this happen?!"
"Where were you?!"
"Did you just fucking watch?!"
"What were you thinking?!"
"Why didn't you help him?!"
"What the fuck, James?!"
Milli, as usual, stayed silent.
"Oh, calm down, you bloody knotheads!" Q finally snapped, "He didn't let anything happen to me! I wouldn't have even come to medical if it weren't for Bond, so if anything, you should be thanking him! It's not his fault that I've got a broken wrist, it's that stupid bloody beta's fault, got it?!"
They all quickly lowered their eyes and nodded.
"And besides" James suddenly said, "The pup can handle himself".
Q gave him a surprised but happy look, and the alpha gave a small yet genuine smile in response.
"... So who is that stupid bloody beta exactly?"
"Edie!" he scolded, spinning back around to face her, but she held both of her hands up in defence. "Hey, I'm only asking, sweetheart. I was just wondering if you... happened to know the beta's name. So that I could talk to him. Pleasantly".
"You find blood and stab wounds pleasant".
"Sure. If they're on the other guy".
Q pinched the bridge of his nose, right underneath the frame of his glasses, and reminded himself that murdering chaotic toddlers was bad.
"No" he finally said, "No, I will not give you his name, nor will I allow you to pleasantly talk to him!"
"Not even if we give you all our knives beforehand?" Alec asked innocently.
"Considering that you can do just as much damage with your hands, no" he replied dryly.
He scowled, as did the rest of the double-0s - bar Milli, who never seemed to frown, and Duncan, who always frowned. And then, the bloody knotheads gave each other a look - a look that Q knew very well indeed meant that they would continue plotting Gregson's demise as soon as he was out of earshot.
It was time to bring out the spray bottle again.
Just as he was about to speak up, however, there came a knock on the door - and that alone was enough to surprise him - and Q turned back to Bond with a questioning look on his face.
James, shockingly, actually grimaced in what appeared to be embarrassment.
"I, uh... might have also possibly texted someone else?"
There weren't that many someone else's who could cause that reaction in the agent.
There was another knock on the door, and Q nodded at Milli, who was closest, to open it. On the other side, stood one very unimpressed-looking man.
"Does somebody care to tell me" M began, "just what the bloody hell is going on here?!"