The High Table
"Does somebody care to tell me" M began, "just what the bloody hell is going on in here?!"
They all stared at him.
Mallory stared back at them.
Somewhere in the distance, Q heard the oncoming wail of sirens.
M remained standing at the door - both due to the fact that nine double-0s and a wayward Quartermaster were already far too many people to be in one room, but also, presumably, so that he could make a quick getaway and flee from the aforementioned double-0s if need be.
His gaze swept over each of them in turn, before finally landing on James, and his unimpressed look very quickly turned into a scowl.
"So this is why you decided to not report in the very second that you landed?!"
He still hadn't forgiven him then. Or else it was the only safe way M could vent his frustrations of the double-0s on a double-0, given that he knew the rest of the pack wouldn't fight him on it just this once because they were all still vaguely annoyed with Bond too.
Before the man in question could reply, however, Q found himself speaking up instead.
"It's actually my fault, sir".
M's sharp eyes cut across to him in surprise. "Your fault, Quartermaster?"
"007 was on his way to give the mission report when the, uh… incident happened. He's the one who brought me to medical".
Q felt that he was taking a few liberties in using the word brought, but he would rather die than have M find out that a post-mission-high double-0 had carried him here.
"... I see. And just what incident would that be?"
"The no-inference-needed kind" he replied smoothly, "Coincidentally, have you met 004?"
Jake shot him a betrayed look but Q felt like this was the least the mild-mannered man owed him.
"I have now" M said, with a nod in the man's direction, but he swiftly turned his attention back to the omega once Jake nodded back, "Don't change the subject. What happened?"
"How did you even find out?! Sir" he quickly added, but Mallory rolled his eyes in exasperation anyway. "My secretary got a rather interesting text message. That's how".
Q immediately rounded on Bond. "You told Eve?!"
"No, actually, I did not" he replied firmly, "I simply told M that I would be late reporting in. And quite frankly, I'm offended that you would even dare suggest that I would ever willingly involve management".
Which-
Yeah.
"Sorry" he said, completely not sorry at all, "But if it wasn't you, then… Edie?"
She broke down under a single chastising scowl.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I had to tell her! She's the most abnormal normal person I know! And she gets you to eat! You need feeding!"
"So in return for her feeding me, you keep her updated on my health?!"
"No! Yes… Sort of. Only the important things!"
"You think a stiff breeze is important!"
"Uh, yeah! Because it can knock you over! You're too skinny! And that's why Eve needs to feed you!"
He threw his hands in the air, immediately winced, and then turned back to M to give the man a very pointed look which very clearly said do you see the shit I have to put up with?! but M was very much looking rather horrified at their entire interaction, and Q pouted when he realised that he'd get no pity there.
The things he did for King and Country…
"What happened, Quartermaster?"
He sighed and decided there was nothing else for it.
"... I went down to the canteen to make a cup of tea, and while I was there, some arrogant bastard decided to trip me and I ended up breaking my bloody wrist… Sir".
Thankfully, Mallory was wise enough to realise that it was so not the time to scold him for insubordination.
"Did you recognize him?"
Q avoided the man's gaze as he shook his head, but it was swiftly followed by a warning growl from Bond and a low, rumbling, "Q".
The omega shot him a dirty look. "Do you really think that adding snitch to my ever-growing reputation is going to help matters?!"
"No" he replied evenly, "But once word gets out that you put Gregson in his place, they'll be less likely to challenge you. If you leave this go unpunished, however, they'll think you got lucky. A once-off fluke that came with no consequences. And that will most definitely not help matters".
"Gregson?" M asked sharply because of course the bloody alpha had cottoned on to the bastard's name.
On the other hand, however, Bond was… kind of right.
"Yeah". Q said reluctantly, turning back to his boss. "Gregson. He's a beta in the accounts department. I don't know his first name".
"Has he caused trouble for you before?"
"Well now, you're a feisty one, aren't you? You're wasted at TSS".
"Oh really? And where would I be better suited then?"
"Oh, I can think of a few places".
Q distantly wondered if Gregson had been the one who told Mortner he was leaving the accounts department by the stairwell that night, but quickly dismissed the thought since it was obvious that the beta had nothing to gain from doing so.
"... Nothing that I couldn't handle" he finally replied, "And he never made things physical. Not until today, at least".
"Do you think he'll try to injure you again?"
A vicious growl reverberated across the room and the omega half-heartedly glared at the ridiculous pack around him.
"No" he said, rather pointedly, "Gregson's all talk, sir, but in reality, he's a coward. The only reason he even chanced doing something today is because he thought we were alone. He had his back to Bond, he obviously didn't see him come in, so he thought he'd get away with it".
"Which he won't!" Saif snapped, sounding far too sure of himself.
"005, what have I told you about murder?"
"But he deserves it!"
"And what have I told you about justifying murder?"
"But he hurt you!"
"And what, pray tell, have I told you about the consequences of murder?"
He scowled and looked away, clearly searching for the loophole in his previous lectures, but Q already knew that he wouldn't find any - he'd made bloody sure of that.
"He'll get a verbal and written warning" M said, once he deemed it safe enough to interrupt, "We can't prove that he actually intended to injure you, and the only thing going to court would do is reveal your status as both an omega and the Quartermaster of MI6, neither of which, I'm sure, you want to be made public knowledge".
"Most definitely not, sir".
"Right. Well then". M straightened up. "If he does anything again, he'll get a suspension, and anything after that will be grounds for dismissal. Are we in agreement?"
Nine resounding snarls echoed throughout the room even as Q wearily nodded his head.
"007, I expect that report on my desk by the end of the day" he finished, giving the man a very stern look, "And the next time you decide to leave out some very important information in a message to me, then not even the Quartermaster will be able to save you. Is that understood?"
His expression remained blank.
"Yes sir".
"Good". M nodded, once, before stepping back out into the hallway, and Milli very quickly shut the door behind him.
Half an hour later, they were all in Q's office - and yes, it was, in fact, all of them. The overprotective idiots had point blank refused to let him return to the canteen, and instead, had brought lunch to him.
The ridiculous alphas had even taken the whole thing one step further, as Alec had pulled out one of his many sharp knives from who knows where and actually cut up his food while Jake, the absolute sweetheart but who was also, equally, ridiculous, had unfolded his napkin for him and placed in on his lap when the rest of the pack had ushered him towards the couch rather than his desk.
Q wasn't even right-handed!
Or, at least, not only right-handed, because he'd learned to use both hands equally efficiently at a young age to prevent any weakness in times exactly like these - and it wasn't as if a single stupid broken bone was enough to render him invalid anyway!
When he said as much, however, they had all merely shushed him, gently, like he was some sort of startled deer, while Charlie pressed a freshly made cup of vanilla tea into his hands.
It would have been almost comical if he wasn't trapped at the heart of it all.
Once he'd finished eating his sandwich - and seriously, Alec felt the need to cut up his sandwich?! - and drained the last of the far-too-good tea, they had refused to let him get back to work. Duncan had hauled him into his lap while Alexis draped herself over his shoulders, and Q suddenly remembered the last time they'd done this, after their little heart-to-heart post-prank-war grand reveal - back when he'd asked them, cautiously, fearfully, what they expected of him in return for such casual affection.
Looking back on it now, Q was amazed at how far he'd come since then, and just how much he'd improved in such a short period of time. Even two months ago he wouldn't have allowed this - nine terrifying murderous alphas lounging around his office in some shape or form. He wouldn't have been able to relax to the extent that he was now, wouldn't have been as calm or peaceful or serene. He definitely wouldn't have been able to switch his brain off for a while and just not worry about the alphas' intentions or nefarious plans, and instead just trust them - trust them not to hurt him, trust them not to betray him, trust them to trust him back.
And he most certainly would not have simply sighed in exasperation as all nine previously mentioned terrifying murderous alphas snarled viciously as there came a knock on his office door.
"Come in!" he called out, still being pinned in place by at least three overly affectionate cuddle monsters.
The door was pushed open by a slim graceful hand, and the rest of Eve soon followed.
"I just came to find out how you were" she started, a teasing smile on her face, "But now I can see that I needn't have bothered".
He gave her a pitiful look.
"Please help me".
Nine growls reverberated around the room.
Eve stifled a laugh but couldn't fight back a smirk.
"Actually, Q, I think that these guys have that pretty much covered".
"Traitor!"
She raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow and gave his two closest bodyguards a rather pointed look. The omega followed her gaze to where both Alec and James were pressed against either side, the former man grinning back at him, completely unabashed, while the latter… smiled.
A real smile, not the fake ones he gave targets and marks and strangers at bars, but a small, genuine, real smile and Q found himself smiling back automatically.
They seemed to have come to a silent understanding after the day's events, and although Q didn't know what changed or why, he knew that something had, and it had changed things for the better, too.
"I'll leave you to it" Eve announced, drawing his attention back just in time to see her wink at him before closing the door.
Sighing, he leant back against Duncan with a pout, but only got a very brief huff of laughter for his troubles.
"I think the brat's getting grumpy".
"Hey! I'm not a-"
"Sure is, Fortier. Isn't it about time he had a nap?"
"A nap?! I'm not some sort of-"
"Probably, but our котеночек also needs to have dinner first".
"I do not need-"
"Sweetheart, you are far too skinny".
"No, I'm-"
"Far too skinny, hun, and that is coming from me".
"You lying-"
"Alexis is speaking the truth, Q. You are a suboptimal weight for your height".
"Not you too-"
"Come on, mukundwa, let us take you out for something to eat".
"I don't want to-"
"No, but you need to, cub, so stop fighting us, alright?"
"I am not-"
"I vote for El Nido".
Silence.
Everyone stared at James bloody Bond who didn't look even the slightest tiniest littlest bit fazed.
Q blinked.
"You what?!"
"I vote for El Nido". He shrugged as if his words made any kind of fucking sense at all. "I haven't been since I got back, and it's been a good few years since we were all in-country".
"You. El Nido. All of us" Alec repeated, as if he wasn't quite sure about Bond's sanity either, "You".
"Me" he replied calmly, "Unless you have any other suggestions?"
"... I do not".
"Well then. Are we all in agreement?"
They continued to stare.
"... El Nido?" Jake confirmed because even though he wasn't actually here for the whole James-bloody-Bond-doesn't-want-Q-in-their-home incident, he sure as hell was told about it the very second he got back.
"El Nido" James bloody Bond confirmed, like the inconsiderate paradoxical bastard that he was.
Q's thoughts were racing at a mile an hour. James wanted them to go to El Nido. James wanted him to go to El Nido, the same place that he had all but forbidden the omega to go to when he'd first returned, fueled by anger and betrayal and spite, but now-
Now he wanted him to go.
Apparently.
Probably.
Definitely.
… Maybe.
Q racked his brain to come up with a subtle yet clear way of asking because he needed to know for sure, he needed to be one-hundred-per-cent positive that James bloody Bond was offering exactly what he thought he was offering and he needed to hear that answer come from the man himself without any interference or looks from the rest of the pack but how the hell could he ask something like that when they were all there and-
"You sound as good as James when you say that. Have you heard him speak French yet?"
"You should speak French to him".
"I think he'd like it".
-and wasn't that the only reason M had sent 007 to Nice to begin with? Because 007 was somehow the only double-0 who could speak French? Not even Alec understood it, but Q did, Q understood it perfectly because he spoke French himself but none of the rest of the pack could understand it so-
"Es-tu… sûr?" he asked, haltingly, "Toi, personnellement?"
Bond's eyes immediately darkened, but strangely enough, it didn't seem to be from anger. In fact, it almost looked like he was somehow being… tempted.
Tempted by what, he didn't know.
"Je suis sûr. Moi. Personnellement" he replied quietly, "Je le pense, Q, je veux que tu viennes avec nous".
And-
Oh.
Q felt a shiver of delight run down his spine at the sound of the man speaking French and immediately realised just why Alec had urged him to talk to the alpha.
French seemed to come just as naturally to him as English, not a learned language - just another one of his own languages and he vaguely remembered something about James' mother being Swiss. The words fell fluidly from his tongue, sensual almost, and the omega got much the same sort of thrill he felt whenever Alec spoke Russian with that low rumbling tenor of his.
He wondered what would happen if he got both Alec and James to speak their native tongue to him at the same time…
Swallowing thickly and not trusting his own voice right now, Q nodded, quickly, his eyes still locked on that sinful mouth that had spoken such sinful words so bloody casually.
From behind him, he could practically hear Duncan's scowl.
"Fucking finally! Alright, let's go before this gets any more fucking disgusting".
El Nido was just as welcoming as ever, its yellow walls still faded, its wooden tables still scuffed and wobbly, and its incredibly bloody illegal fireplace still roaring flames despite it being a muggy fifteen degrees outside.
Tom glanced up as the door shut behind them, giving the double-0s a simple nod and flashing a mischievous smile at Q. The omega suddenly and rather horrifyingly remembered that the last time he'd been here, the barman had thought he was in the middle of an alpha-only brothel, and he desperately hoped that he could play off the flush on his face as a result of the heat from the fire.
The pack immediately headed for their usual booth in the back of the pub, and Q was both excited and nervous to see where everyone ended up sitting - and just where, exactly, his place would be among them.
He wasn't surprised that Jake sat just inside Duncan to the left of the table, or that Milli sat between them and Charlie. Given her dislike of touch, it only made sense that she was given the most space, having both her own seat and the empty corner next to her. On the other side, behind the table, Charlie and Saif took their usual seats too - the space that Q had previously occupied apparently belonged to Alec.
He was given all but two seconds to let panic and worry and fear sink in before the blond grabbed the end of his shirt and unceremoniously yanked him along with him, and Q found himself sliding along the booth until he reached the right-hand corner of the table.
Alec flashed him a roguish grin that had him flushing for an entirely different reason, and when he finally calmed his racing heart, he saw Edie sitting at the end of the right bench as usual, Alexis on the seat next to her, which meant that the person directly next to Q was-
James.
It made sense, he thought, somewhat hysterically. James and Edie couldn't sit directly next to each other, after all, or they'd end up killing each other before the night was through. And Alexis was on good terms with both of them, so of course she was the chosen one to act as a buffer. Jake would sit with Duncan, obviously, and Milli didn't want to be crowded, and both Charlie and Saif preferred to people-watch from a distance so of course they'd choose to sit facing the rest of the pub.
And naturally, Alec and James would choose to sit next to each other at either side of the corner of the table because they were together and Q was-
Q was in between them.
He gave Alec a somewhat cautious look but the man continued to grin and even threw his arm over the back of the booth, framing the omega's shoulders much in the same way that Saif had done all those weeks before, perfectly at ease with the entire situation.
Alrighty then.
Q turned to look at James next as Edie and Duncan both stood up and said something about drink orders, but James didn't look too bothered by his seating arrangement either. He was keeping a careful distance between them - and the omega knew that it was a conscious decision, too, because if the alpha relaxed then they'd be pressed together from shoulder to hip - but he was also smiling and hadn't made any protests to Q practically stealing his boyfriend out from under him so-
So.
This was… This was Q's seat then.
Squished between two ridiculous murder kittens that he was hopelessly head over heels for.
A familiar fancy-shaped glass full to the brim with rainbow-coloured alcohol was suddenly placed in front of him, and he glanced up in surprise just in time for Edie to wink at him before sliding a cocktail glass in James's direction with a scowl.
James made a big show of raising the glass to his face and sniffing it as if searching for poison, only for Edie to stick her tongue out at him before collapsing back down on the bench with her own purple drink in hand and-
And Q found himself starting to grin.
There were certainly worse places he could be tonight, after all.