The Big Switchboard

Q had expected things to go back to normal with James after that night in El Nido - normal being the way that they were before he'd left with Dr Swann all those months before.

He'd expected them to be kind-of-friends, two people who worked together but bantered back and forth as he stopped the man from playing with his tech while James made dark jokes and tried to cause as much minor chaos as possible. He'd even expected the man to return to his old ways of completing missions; namely, causing as much major chaos as possible, and destroying British taxpayers' money and the omega's sanity in the process.

What Q hadn't expected was for things to actually become even better.

After his apology, something seemed to have shifted between them - in the best way possible. They still bantered back and forth, only now Alec joined in as well, and the omega was both mortified yet completely unsurprised that the man had a dirty sense of humour that could rival Eve's. The morbid remarks stayed, but Q had expected that, and he just labelled it as yet another double-0-thing. James, surprisingly, even continued bringing back most of his equipment in one piece, although the omega did have more than a few words with him about bringing himself back in one piece too.

And even more surprising than that - James bloody Bond gave the best hugs.

He shouldn't. It technically shouldn't even be possible, what with the stiff upright way he held himself and those finely tailored pressed suits that he wore. He should have been bloody terrible at it, really, and Q was downright disgusted by the fact that he wasn't.

It was like the alpha lived solely to shock him at every turn and he still couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not.

Either way, James was slowly but surely returning to his prized place on Q's list of favourite double-0s - although now, of course, he had to share that position with his own partner, and the omega was more than a little bit mortified at the fact that he, a grown-ass man, had something so silly as a crush on two very unavailable men.

Alexis's words still haunted him - polyamorous relationships are a thing - but no matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't see that happening. For one, James and Alec seemed pretty damn happy together as it was, so why would they disrupt that happiness by taking a chance on him? Secondly, it wasn't as if they weren't already petting and hugging and cuddling him on a daily basis, so realistically, they didn't need their own omega when they already had Q as a human teddy bear to help settle their alpha sides. And thirdly, he couldn't make the first move himself because forcing his way in between a healthy relationship was just fifty shades of wrong, but it wasn't as if either of the pair were going to ask him to join them either, because of reasons one and two.

Q sighed and briefly buried his face in his hands.

His day had already not been going well before his thoughts had led him down this particular depressing path, and he very much did not want to add even more despair to his so-far challenging evening.

Exactly one week ago, he had received a somewhat confusing email from none other than that ass in accounting, apologising for tripping him and insulting him and promising to never do it again.

Which wasn't suspicious in the slightest.

So Q had done what he did best, and threw himself into researching why the dynamicist prat had decided to say sorry when all previous actions very clearly proved that he would not be sorry in the slightest for "putting an omega back in its place". It couldn't have been Q's own threats to demolish his online life, because it had been weeks since Gregson had tripped him and if he'd really been scared then he wouldn't have waited so long to apologise.

A quick dig through security camera footage later, and he found a rather intriguing scene which took place in a dark corner in the closed-off car park of MI6 - which was probably why the double-0s thought they'd get away with it.

All nine of the bloody idiots had decided it was simply a wonderful idea to literally trap Gregson in that corner for a painfully long twenty minutes, and although none of the agents actually laid a finger on the beta, Q could only imagine the pain that they were inflicting with just their words.

To say he'd been angry was putting it mildly.

And so, as punishment for seeking their own justice on the account, as well as assuming that Q was a bloody damsel in distress who couldn't fend for himself, he forbade the pack from hugging, petting, or even touching him for one entire week, and they were distraught.

Except for James bloody Bond, of course, because somehow, the bastard had managed to master the act of stretching out right next to omega with a lazy smirk, without actually touching him - and as a result, Q couldn't even get mad because he had, technically, not broken any rules.

Being perfectly honest, he was even a little impressed.

But it only took Q a single day to regret choosing that particular form of punishment, since it meant that he wasn't getting hugged, petted, or even touched for an entire week either. He'd actually been looking forward to today - day eight, and the first day without any cuddle-related restrictions - because he'd expected the double-0s to immediately pounce on him in his office to make up for a week without comfort.

Apparently, however, they'd decided to punish him for punishing them, and he'd yet to see a single member of the pack anywhere in HQ, despite the fact it was now well after hours.

Not that he'd been looking for them.

Of course not.

So instead, he busied himself by finding out everything he could about the Janus Crime Syndicate.

Major General Kuznetsov, of the Russian Air Force, had been unsurprisingly tight-lipped about the criminal group that had embarrassed the Russians on more than one occasion, but as far as Q could tell, there simply wasn't much information out there anyway.

The man had been right when he'd said they were based in St Petersburg - or, at least, that was as close to a headquarters for the group as any intelligence agency could verify. They had been suspected of dozens of various offences over the years, but only a handful could be actually confirmed - restocking the Iraqis during the early nineties Gulf War, as well as providing illegal arms to militant Islamist groups during the ongoing Iraqi Insurgency and the Syrian civil war.

As far as Q could tell, Orumorov was either the head of the syndicate or else very close to the top of the food chain and if Janssen was his second-in-command, then he could only assume that she was one of the more important leaders too. In fact, she was the only confirmed contact they had in the organisation. There were whispers of other well-known Interpol's most wanted having been involved with the syndicate over the years, but nothing was ever proven.

So, putting it mildly, Q was touch starved, incredibly annoyed, and more than a little bit frustrated.

A knock on the door made him growl in irritation.

"What?!"

"Oof, someone's in a bad mood" a familiar voice called out, "Is it even safe to come in?"

"... Alec?"

"And company".

James.

"... Yeah, you can come in".

The door was slowly pushed open and the pair cautiously stepped inside, as if expecting him to throw a stapler at their head at any moment - an image that thankfully was amusing enough to raise his spirits somewhat.

"What's up, cub?"

"Oh, you know, the usual" he replied flippantly, "The Russians are being as uncooperative as ever, I'm still no closer to finding out where Ourumov is hiding, and the amount of confirmed information I have on the Janus Syndicate isn't even long enough to fill a sticky note!"

"Janus?" James asked sharply, and Q blinked. "Have you… Have you heard of them?"

"Not exactly" he replied, shutting the door behind them, "But I overheard Janssen use the term while on her yacht. Something about how Janus had ordered her to take care of the operation personally, and that she wasn't allowed to fail… I had assumed that Janus was a person, not an organisation".

The omega sat back in his chair and thought.

This was the proof he needed that the Colonel was part of the syndicate, and if she'd been given strict orders to steal that helicopter, then those orders had likely come from Ourumov himself - which would, indeed, put him at the top of the criminal food chain.

But just what the hell did the General need a helicopter for?

"You look like you could do with a break, cub".

He was shaking his head before Alec had even finished his sentence.

"No. No, I can't. There's too much to do, too much to- to figure out! I know that all of this is connected; the drug, Ourumov, Janus, all of it! I just need to- to think and- and- and to-"

"-take a break" James finished firmly, "Or at least step away from your computer for a bit. No offence, pup, but it isn't as if your eyesight can afford to get any worse".

Q glared at him but it was only half-hearted at best.

"Come on" Alec finished, making his way over to the couch, "Sit down with us for a while. You never know, it might even help".

The worst part was, he was right.

It had quite literally been months since Q had gone so long without being petted by a particularly touchy alpha, and he knew rather intimately the side effects of affection withdrawal.

But since getting hugged would improve his work… maybe he could justify it as getting better at his job? Some sort of… training course? An experiment to increase his cognitive abilities?

Seeing his hesitation start to fade, James smirked and walked over to his desk, rounding it and pulling his chair - not the chair, but his chair - back and then hauling him to his feet in one smooth motion.

It probably should have been embarrassing, just how easily each of the double-0s could pick him up like that, but honestly, Q found it more gratifying than anything else.

"Come on, pup" he murmured, gently leading him over to the couch, "Let us be your sounding board for a while".

The omega gladly sat back down and then obediently let the alphas poke and prod him until they found a position that everyone was happy with - Q curled on his side, his head on James's lap, his feet on Alec's and both his tie and shoes suddenly missing.

"Okay, so what's the problem?"

He closed his eyes despite himself, feeling far too settled after a mere thirty seconds of physical contact with the men.

"What isn't the problem would be a far shorter list" he eventually grumbled, "I just can't figure out the connection that's linking all of these things together!"

"With Ourumov?" James clarified, "Well, what do we know about him?"

"We know he used to work for the military, back when it was still called the Soviet Space Division. We know he eventually became a General and was assigned his own base. We know that at some point in time, he cut all ties with the Russians, and has mostly remained invisible since".

Alec hummed, his hands warm and grounding around the omega's ankles.

"Do you know why he left his previous position as a Colonel?"

"Do you?"

"Unfortunately, yes".

Q blinked and tilted his head so he could glance down at the man. Alec was smirking, probably relishing one of the extremely rare moments that he knew something his Quartermaster didn't, before he quickly turned serious once more.

"I did some digging, just before Severnaya. Asked around, called in a few favours, that sort of thing… About twenty years back, Ourumov was put in control of a chemical weapons facility in Arkhangelsk. Officially, it was just meant to be a research laboratory, but given how hush hush the entire thing was, it wouldn't surprise me if they were dabbling in biowarfare".

"A chemical factory… now that sounds familiar".

He snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought too. I pulled up all public files and tried to figure out just what, exactly, they'd been doing there, but the entire factory was conveniently burned to the ground a few years after Ourumov became head… Obviously, the Russian government wasn't too happy with him about that, and he was court-martialed with the not-so-subtle intention of giving him the death penalty".

"Which he clearly avoided. Let me guess, he blamed someone else?"

"Got it in one". Alec flashed him a grin that most definitely did not send his heart racing thank you very much. "He lied straight to their face, which, admittedly, was rather impressive… He claimed that it was one of his worker's fault. That the man hadn't taken enough precaution when caring for the chemical vats that caused the explosion".

"And the worker agreed to go along with that story?"

"The worker, even more conveniently, had been killed in the fire".

Even James was starting to look incredulous by now.

"And Russian command just… believed him?!"

"He was cleared of charges" Alec finished with a shrug, "Admittedly, it didn't make much sense to me, either… Until now".

"Now?" his partner asked, but Q's brain was already racing at a hundred miles an hour.

"Now that you know about the Janus Crime Syndicate" he realised, jerking up into a sitting position in his excitement, "If Ourumov really is the head of the entire organisation, then the chemical factory that you were sent to investigate was just another operation of theirs. Ourumov had to get the idea, the- the chemical formulas from somewhere! He has no background in science himself, and I doubt he'd risk bringing in an outsider, given how paranoid he is".

"And where better to get the idea for a chemical weapon than in a chemical weapons facility" James realised, "That's what the Russians were working on? That's what Arkhangelsk was all about?"

"It makes sense" Q continued, as things finally finally started to fall into place, "If he was the head of that place for a number of years then he had to have picked up something! Something that he knew he could use for his own benefit if only he could take the Russians out of the equation".

"So he blows up the facility himself, killing all the scientists and destroying the chemical vats so that the military would lose all of their research. He's trialled, but the government knows that they can't afford to declare him guilty because he could go public with the information he had on them".

"And they can't quietly take him out either, since they've no idea who he shared that information with" Alec added, "So the only option they're left with, is to compromise. Placate him, give him a fancy title, a new job, anything to keep him on their side".

"All the while, he's just biding his time" Q finished, "He has the chemical formulas, he probably downloaded the existing research before blowing up the facility, so all he needed then was an opportunity to get out. He starts whispering about a new syndicate rising up, spreads rumours of the organisation in St Petersburg, does small jobs here and there, using his new position to fund everything, and then, once Janus was big enough, was- was terrifying enough, he just… jumped ship".

"Starts producing the hormone drug himself, keeps perfecting it until it works, and pulls Janssen onboard when he sees just how bloodthirsty she is. And the Russians know that they can't go after him, without bringing the wrath of Janus down on themselves… Quite the brilliant plan".

"Yeah". Alec snorted, throwing an arm over the omega's shoulders, "Except Ourumov didn't count on our little genius here figuring it out, now did he?"

Q immediately flushed and turned to bury his head in the blond's shoulder to hide it. The man laughed, and he could just feel the amused smirk that James was sending his way, but he refused to resurface anyway.

"So, now that we know where Ourumov got his rage-inducing drug idea from, what can we do with that information?"

Q sighed and reluctantly pulled back, only for the other man to snake an arm around his waist in the process, firmly sandwiching him in between the two alphas.

He tried not to think about that too hard in case he ended up blushing again.

"There's not a lot that we can do" he said, focusing on future battle plans instead, "It certainly explains a lot, and it links the Janus Syndicate to the entire Cuban chemical factory thing too, but we still don't know what Ourumov's end game is".

"Well, I think it's safe to assume that he's going to want to find another factory to start reproducing the drug again" Alec started slowly, "I mean, he's spent the last twenty years planning this, so I doubt that he's going to let such a simple thing as MI6 showing interest deter him from that".

"So he's going to need land, preferably a pre-built facility, and a lot of workers who won't ask any questions" James summarised, "Are the files that this idiot brought back any help?"

"Not for this" Q replied, ducking to avoid the offended swat that Alec gave his partner, "There were some locations listed, sure, but they were all for employees or suppliers. Nothing about any backup factories".

"What about the files Fortier found?"

"Those were mostly personnel, no locations listed at all. They did, however, lead us to Janssen, and wherever Janssen is, Ourumov is".

"There's been no sightings of her?"

"Not since she stole that helicopter" Q replied, frowning, "Which, of course, just raises even more questions - namely, just what the hell does the Janus Crime Syndicate need a helicopter for?"

"More specifically, what do they need that helicopter for?" Alec countered, "Ourumov definitely has enough money and contacts to get whatever type of plane he wants, so why did he choose to risk being captured just to steal that helicopter in particular?"

The omega turned to James and had to quickly bite back a squeak as he realised just how close their faces were to each other.

"You, uh… You didn't find out anything about- about that while you were in Nice, did you?"

The bloody bastard just looked amused.

"Not as much as I'd have liked to, but I know more about it, I think, than you do, pup. It was developed by Airbus Helicopters SAS, a French aerospace division. That specific chopper was designed to be a high-tech stealth vehicle, although that one in question was just a prototype".

"A prototype?" His frown deepened as he turned back to face a more neutral setting. "What's so amazing about it that they'd risk their lives for a prototype?"

"From what I overheard, it has anti-radiation properties, although how that comes into play with the drug, I'm not sure".

"The chemicals they used to make it aren't radioactive - Medical most definitely would have told me by now if they were… If it's anti-radiation and a stealth chopper, however, it's probably unaffected by EMPs too. Was it carrying any weapons when they stole it?"

"Just your standard anti-aircraft missiles, nothing special".

"Strange…"

Alec's arm around his shoulder tightened as he pulled him closer - close enough for Q to breathe in nothing but the warm, spicy scent of home.

"You don't need to worry about that right now, cub. You've done more than enough for the day, wouldn't you agree James?"

"Oh, most definitely" the blond easily replied, "For now, however, I think someone could do with a nap".

Before Q could even blink, the pair had managed to rearrange him once more, this time with his head on Alec's lap and his feet on James'. A blanket seemed to materialise out of nowhere, and less than one minute later, he found himself tucked in and comfy, across both agents' legs.

"Get some sleep, cub" Alec said quietly, gently petting his hair, "Tomorrow's a new day, after all".

"We'll still be here when you wake up, pup" James finished, just as soothingly, "Try not to dream about attack helicopters".

He snorted despite the dredges of sleep that were already starting to weigh him down and decided that one little nap couldn't hurt. It was rare that he got to be hugged by just Alec and James, without any of the other double-0s present, so he was going to soak up their affections as much as he could before they left again.

Especially if it was the closest he'd ever get to the couple.

Closing his eyes, he focused on the warm large hands holding on his legs and the rhythmic tugging of his curls just the way he liked, both alphas grounding and present and there, and for a moment, just a moment, he let himself believe that they were his.