Choice of Weapons
Q paused for a moment and considered his options.
They were rather horrifyingly few.
The logical part of his brain - the part that had blocked out all panic and whining from his omegian hindbrain - knew that he needed to call this in immediately. Even on the very off-chance that whoever had broken in had nothing to do with him or his job whatsoever, it was still a security breach of one of the most secure residences in England, and M would have to be informed.
On the other hand, however…
His cats were in there.
Q crept closer to the door, careful to avoid the squeaky floorboards, and pressed his ear to the door.
He couldn't hear any movement inside - either from a stranger or his cats - but as much as he wanted to turn off the alarm and go in, he knew that it was as good as signing his own death warrant if the intruder had come here for a reason.
No.
He'd have to be smart about this.
Quickly yet quietly making his way back to the main door, he stepped back outside and walked around the corner of the building down the alleyway next to it. He wouldn't be able to climb in his bedroom window, no matter how flexible he was, and he likely wouldn't be able to successfully navigate the dilapidated overgrown garden at the back of the house either, but if he could just see inside then he could-
There.
Both Yana and Paco were curled up together on his bed, fast asleep.
He felt a wave of relief crash over him, and he hurriedly returned to the main street and pulled out his phone.
If the intruder hadn't hurt them before then they were very unlikely to do so now - although that did raise the question of how the cats had slept through the break-in and why they currently weren't hiding from whoever it was that was inside.
Unless it was someone that they knew…
Q's mind briefly flashed to the double-0s even as he hit the first-speed dial button on his phone, but he quickly shoved away the thought. If Duncan, who was arguably the best in the pack at hacking hadn't been able to bypass his alarm, then none of the others would've been able to do so either.
And besides, he reasoned, listening to the dial tone beep, the double-0s would never be so cruel as to scare him like this, and they had no reason to skulk around in his flat behind his back anyway.
"Quartermaster?"
"Sir" he greeted, "I'm afraid there's been a bit of an… incident".
"What kind of incident?"
"Well, so far it appears that someone has managed to bypass the alarms to my flat".
"... Bypassed the alarms?"
"Yes sir".
"No signs of forced entry?"
"No sir".
"... Alright. Stay there; I'm sending in a team" M replied briskly, and in the background, he heard the sound of a door opening and closing, "You haven't gone in, have you?"
"Not yet".
"Good. Don't" he said firmly, "Stay outside until our agents get there, and keep this line open until they do".
There was the rustle of fabric against the phone, and then low voices murmuring too quietly for him to make out individual words, but just loud enough to place them as M and Eve.
"Q, I'm about to pass you over to Miss Moneypenny".
There was more movement, a brief pause, and then a loud sigh.
"You can't stay out of trouble for five minutes, can you?"
He smiled despite himself at her exasperated, teasing tone.
"You say that as if I invited the burglars in myself".
"No, cause if you'd done that, then it wouldn't be classed as a break-in".
He could hear the smile in her voice too.
"M's calling in the double-0s. Something tells me that they'd be, uh… rather irked if they weren't informed of this".
That was the understatement of the century.
"He's calling in all of them?" Q asked, "Surely that's a bit of an overkill!"
"Well, actually I think he rather correctly assumed that not all of them would answer his call" she replied lightly, "So by messaging all of them, he might get a response from three or four".
"Tell him not to bother". Q sighed, already picturing just how Duncan would react if he saw M's name flashing up on his phone screen. "I only need two, and as long as he tells them that it's me who has the problem, they'll be willing to listen".
He heard her reiterate his words to M before she turned her attention back to him.
"He agrees. Any preference as to which two double-0s you want him to send?"
His mind immediately flashed to James and Alec, but he also knew that he had to be logical about this and, you know, at least ensure that one of the bastards who'd broken in would live long enough to tell them why.
"002 and 008" he replied eventually, purposefully picking the calmest of the pack, "Or- 004, maybe, if one of the others can't make it, but he's leaving for Mozambique tomorrow morning so- well, just, try the others first?"
"Q, I'm fairly certain that the entire world could be burning down around us and the double-0s would find some way of making it" Eve said dryly, before she lowered the phone once more to tell M who he'd chosen.
The omega couldn't help but smile at her response, as his tiny feral hindbrain purred in delight at knowing that it was true. The double-0s would always help him if asked - the problem was, what they considered "helpful" and what the rest of the world considered "helpful" were two very different things.
"Okay, they're on their way" Eve told him, "You want me to keep talking to you until they get there?"
"Please" he replied quickly, because now that the initial shock of it all had worn off, the panic was starting to settle in.
"'Course. Alright, let's see… Did I ever tell you about that date I went on with the guy from HR? Because, let me tell you-"
Q leaned back against the cool brick wall and tried to focus entirely on her voice. It was a losing battle - not because Eve's story wasn't interesting; it was, but because his own breathing had started causing trouble at the thought of a stranger being inside his flat.
That was his home! His safe place away from MI6 and paperwork and explosions and terrorists - a place where he could relax and feel content and secure in his well-being.
But now, someone had successfully bypassed his alarm and broken in.
He felt a mix of unease and fear course through his veins even as he did his best to block the sensation out and focus on the rough bricks and Eve's voice instead.
Who the bloody hell had bypassed his alarm and broken in?!
His mind raced through various scenarios, trying to piece together how someone could have managed it. Was it a personal attack? An unfortunate burglar? Or something else entirely? Was it- Was it him? Francisco? Had he finally found him after all these years?! Or was it someone who worked for Ourumov? Someone who wanted Janssen out of MI6 custody? Or some other, faceless, villain that he'd managed to arrest, incapacitate, or piss off at one stage in time?
The possibilities were endless.
All in all, it only took seven minutes for the double-0s to arrive - at least, according to the call time on his phone, even though it felt like a hell of a lot longer.
But soon, thankfully, he was reassuring Eve that he was alright before hanging up and being swept into a tight bear hug by Charlie who murmured gentle reassurances in Russian until he felt his heart rate start to return to more normal levels.
Pulling back, the man's hazel eyes searched his intensely.
"Ты в порядке, котеночек?"
"...Да" he replied, "Да, я в порядке".
Stepping out of his warm grasp, he only had a split second to catch sight of familiar blond ringlets before he was being pulled against another firm chest that was decidedly not squishy enough to be Milli's.
"M said there was a security breach" Jake said, voice muffled as he pressed his face against Q's curls, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine" he repeated, "Really. It was just the… suddenness of it all. I panicked at first, but I'm fine, I promise!"
He pulled back and, like Charlie, searched his face for any hint of deceit or anxiety.
"... Okay" Jake finally said, "You're fine. Good. That's- That's good, mukundwa".
"Can you inform us what happened, lille kjære?"
And there was Milli- all three of them had shown up then.
"The alarm for my flat has been overridden" he started, turning to her, "I reprogrammed it to tell me if anyone ever managed to turn it off without the correct code, and… well, that's what it's telling me now".
"Someone broke in?" Charlie asked with a frown, "Have you gone inside yet?"
He shook his head.
"And your apartment door is still closed? No sign of broken locks or forced entry?"
"Nothing".
"So either they picked the lock" Jake started slowly, "Or they have a key".
A burst of fear raced through him and Q mentally swore.
He hadn't even considered that someone might have a key. He had one himself, obviously, and he'd given one to Eve as well, in the case of an emergency or even just to feed his cats if he was away for too long - that one had recently come in handy too, since she'd taken care of Yana and Paco while he'd waited out the side effects of a drop at James and Alec's place over the weekend. But aside from his key and her key, there was only one other key made, and that one he kept safe and secure in his desk drawer at work in case there was ever an even bigger emergency that took both himself and Eve out of commission.
Or for whenever he just misplaced his own set of keys.
That happened a bit too often for his liking, too.
"Hey, mukundwa, it's alright, you're fine". Jake pulled him close again until his face was smushed against the familiar brown leather jacket that smelled of mint and cigarette smoke. "We're here and you're safe and everything is going to be alright".
"But what if they do have a key?" he blurted, "What if- What if someone's been watching me or- or following me and that's how they knew where I lived and how to bypass my alarm and steal my keys and- and they're just waiting now for you to leave so they can hurt me and-"
He was cut off by a low yet vicious snarl, but he wasn't sure from which of the three alphas it came from.
"That's not going to happen, mukundwa" he promised, "We're going to go inside right now and check the place out. If there is someone there, then we'll get them, and if there isn't, then… then you'll come home with me tonight, alright? And tomorrow morning you can get your locks changed".
"What?" He immediately pulled back. "No! I can't. You can't. You've got a mission tomorrow! You have an early flight to catch - I can't go home with you!"
"Sure you can" he replied easily, "I live the closest to you, out of all of the double-0s, so it won't be an issue for you to just pack a bag and walk home with me after we're done here. I'm sure one of the others will be happy to drive you to work in the morning".
From behind him, both Charlie and Milli nodded, and Q felt simultaneously embarrassed and relieved at their willingness to help.
"I'll sleep better myself knowing that you're safe, mukundwa" Jake finished quietly, "And like you said - I've got an early flight tomorrow. My sleep quality should be of utmost priority".
He snorted at that and then smiled up at the ridiculous alpha before nodding.
Yana and Paco would have to stay here - he couldn't put Jake out any more by trying to bring them along, but if the intruder hadn't harmed them yet, then it felt that they were safe enough where they were.
"Good. Then it's decided". The alpha took a step back and turned to face the house. "Ground floor apartment, right?"
"Right".
"Then let's check it out".
Three minutes later, Q was hearing multiple shouts of "Clear!" from each room of his flat.
He'd gladly handed the keys over to Charlie after they'd gone back inside, and he'd been strategically placed in their lineup, with the blond going first, then Jake, then himself, and then Milli watching their backs in case of a surprise attack from behind.
Not that it was needed, of course.
The flat was empty.
"I just don't understand!" Q snapped, stabbing his intercom screen with a bit more force than necessary, "The alarm said that it had been overridden!"
"Well, is it possible that the alarm system… glitched?" Charlies asked, reholstering his Ruger LCP II as he walked over to him.
"It shouldn't have" he grumbled, rewinding the camera feed, "It's on a separate power supply to the rest of the house, and has a backup generator too so it never loses energy".
"And you're sure nothing is missing?"
"Nothing noticeable, at least".
Q had searched, too, after the double-0s had declared his flat intruder free, but all of his tech was exactly where he'd left it, and his envelope of cash under the mattress had been untouched.
"Why would someone break in but not steal anything?" Milli asked, sharp blue eyes scanning the rest of the room.
From the kitchen, Jake shrugged. "Maybe they wanted to leave something behind instead… You're sure that nothing looks different to you, mukundwa?"
"Positive" he retorted, finally reaching the camera feed from this morning. He watched himself leave with his coat and shoulder bag, lock the door, and wheel his bike outside.
Hitting ten-times speed, he watched the rest of the day play out.
The hall outside his flat remained empty until nine, when Mr Roupell slowly made his way downstairs, walking stick in hand, and collected the newspaper that'd been left outside the front door. He made his way back upstairs, just as slowly - even with the video on accelerated speed - and the hallway stayed empty once more until two hours later when Mrs Roupell inevitably realised that her husband had forgotten to bring up the post again and had to come down to collect it herself. Both elderly civilians were back in their own flat upstairs by lunchtime, and nothing else happened at all until-
The screen went black.
Q blinked, frowned, and then blinked again.
Reaching up, he hit pause and then reversed the recording minute by minute until-
The camera feed cut out at five-twenty-seven exactly.
"... Huh".
Charlie inched closer to him. "Is that a good 'huh' or a bad 'huh'?"
"More like a 'what the hell' huh" he answered, reversing the feed once more just to triple check, but-
Nope.
"Someone's been fucking with my cameras".
He heard a kitchen cupboard slam before Jake reappeared with furrowed brows. In the background, Q heard the kettle shriek.
"And just how fuckable are your cameras?"
"Not very, I assure you" he replied dryly, fast-forwarding through the black video until he reached six-oh-four, which is when the empty hallway reappeared - staying that way until he saw himself enter the building only twenty minutes before. "They tampered with the feed".
"So someone did break in, then?" Charlie asked, "It wasn't just an alarm glitch?"
"They have two separate power sources. Even if the alarm did experience a fault of some kind, the video recording would remain untouched, and vice versa" Q explained, finally turning off the intercom feed, "The fact that half an hour of it has been erased, however…"
"Means that someone was here and they don't want to get caught".
"Exactly".
He felt another wave of panic, fear, and anxiety crash over him, and he leaned into Charlie's opened arms without a second thought.
"Would you neighbours have heard anything?"
He shook his head.
"The Roupell's live above me, but they're both old and as good as deaf, and there's a businessman below me, but he lives alone and spends more time out of the country than in it… But if someone's been watching the flat, then they would know that".
"This was not a randomised burglary, then" Milli stated, "The intruder neither took nor left behind anything that we can see, which means that they broke in for a different reason".
"I already did a bug sweep" Jake said, "No listening devices or cameras of any kind - but why else would they have gone to all this trouble?"
Charlie hummed, and Q felt the rumbling vibrations against his cheek.
"It's clearly someone intelligent" he pondered, "Considering that they managed to not only bypass the Quartermaster's alarms but also erase a select few minutes of security footage".
"They were here for a reason" Q mumbled against his chest, "Just because we haven't figured out why yet, doesn't make that any less true".
There was a beat of tense, nervous silence.
"Well then" Jake suddenly announced, "I was going to make us all a cup of tea, but quite frankly, I think the sooner we get you out of here, the better".
Q felt terrible for leaving his cats behind, but he knew he'd feel even more terrible if he inconvenienced Jake any more than he was doing so already, and he knew that they'd be safe. So instead, he gave them their dinner, left out enough food for them to have in the morning, and then drowned them both in kisses and cuddles until a very amused Jake, a horrified Charlie, and a somewhat bewildered Milli had to physically drag him out of the flat.
They left the two blonds at the end of the street, while he and Jake continued on up until the next junction and then turned left. The alpha had insisted on carrying his overnight bag for him, and kept one protective arm wrapped around his shoulders the entire walk home - Q could only imagine what the passing pedestrians thought of them.
But soon enough, he found himself being ushered into a red-brick Georgian townhouse and up three flights of stairs to a converted attic.
"Here we are then" Jake said, unlocking the door with a worn brass key, "Home sweet home, and all that".
Q was simultaneously surprised and not surprised at all to find that the alpha lived in an incredibly rustic, farm-barn-esque apartment. The red brick at the front of the property was exposed inside too, there were wooden beams crisscrossing the ceiling, and all of the furniture was in dark, muted colours and looked incredibly warm and soft.
It suited Jake to a tee - but a double-0? Not so much.
"I'd give you the grand tour, but truth be told, it's not much bigger than a studio" Jake said, leading him through the room which had a seating area on one side and a small kitchenette on the other. "There's three doors in total. That one leads to the bedroom, the one next to it is the bathroom, and the third door is the one we just walked through... Are you hungry?"
"Honestly? I'm starving".
The alpha flashed him a grin over his shoulder. "That's the adrenaline rush for you. Now you know why we're always eating".
"Maybe" he allowed, shrugging out of his coat, "Although part of me is still convinced that you lot are just… superhuman. Or, perhaps, not human at all".
"We're still mere mortals, mukundwa, don't you worry". Jake dropped his bag next to the navy Lawson couch and gestured for him to sit down. "Well then; what do you want to eat?"
Q couldn't help but raise a disbelieving eyebrow.
"You mean you can cook?"
"Well, Duncan is the best at first aid and hacking, Saif could flirt his way out of a prison sentence, Charlie is the best at blending in, James can cause more chaos than a bull in a china shop, Milli is the best at strategy and politics, Alec could set even water on fire if he so wished, Alexis is by far our best driver, Edie could make a nun swear, and I can pick locks and cook". He gave him an almost secretive smile. "We all have our talents".
"Does your cooking involve poison?"
"Not all the time. Not for you".
"Hmm... Alright then" Q finally decided, after weighing up the odds in his mind, "Yeah. Sure. Cook something for me".
And in the meantime, he could distract himself with thoughts of how to casually bring up the topic of Jake's love life...