Till death do us part
(c) 2023 by ihatemilk
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It was just after sunset when he went out for a smoke.
He left her passed out in bed, after what had to be at least two hours of what in the end made her promise him she would take a whole week off and leave her laptop locked in a case at the bottom of a drawer. He loved those long, lazy sessions they sometimes had; he'd never thought he could have sex for hours and not get bored. It was so different with her; sometimes he would just kiss her for what felt like forever; her arms, her chest, her legs; until she was so on edge she'd wail and moan in such fever that it sounded like she was crying; and he wouldn't stop, lost in the sounds of her pleasure, in a trance. No one, nothing had ever made him lose control the way she did. It was as much thrilling as it was terrifying.
Drawing in a deep hit of the next cigarette, he let the cloud of smoke out into the warm, afternoon air hovering over his city. 25 degrees Celsius in almost December – that he could live with – unlike the humid New York cold from just hours ago. Though, considering what had transpired out there, the weather had been more than fitting.
It still gave him chills to think back to the events of the morning. They only made it out of it unscathed because it turned out Julia wasn't pregnant. If this hadn't been the case, if she really had been pregnant – with his child – but no, Xena wouldn't leave him, he was sure of it; he just didn't understand why. If it was the other way round, if she was pregnant with another man's child – gods, the very thought made his blood boil – if they got together, and it turned out she was pregnant, and the child wasn't his – he might kill the guy, but leaving her – no, it was unimaginable.
Was that how she felt about him? Maybe she really did love him.
There were countless times when he was dying to hear her say it – not that he'd ever admit it – but in all honesty, what she'd done back there when they spotted Julia – the way she had his back – if that wasn't love, then he didn't know what was.
"We're a team, Ares, that's how it works. If something like that could get between us, it would mean there was nothing real here in the first place."
He stubbed out the cigarette, blinking, his vision blurring. Gods, she would really do it. She would stay with him, and make him have a kid with Julia, and still be with him. The very idea made him nauseous, but her attitude – he didn't know if he hated or loved her for it; gods, there was no one like her, really – and she was his – and never before had it been as clear to him as it was now – that he should thank the damn Fates for it every day.
He didn't even notice he didn't put out the cigarette in the ashtray; but, with a snap of his fingers, the black stain was gone from the otherwise flawless, brown wooden railing.
If only it was possible to remove the past this way.
"There's no need to remove the past, honey, trust me," his sister's shrill made him flinch. He quickly wiped his face dry before turning back.
"Can you stay out of my damn head, at least?"
"And just so you know – yes, she does love you – you big dummy," Aphrodite tilted her head, her smile growing from ear to ear. "And trust me – you don't have the slightest idea how much – but maybe it's for the best – it would go to your head."
His throat clenched.
"Don't be ashamed of it, Ar – when you love someone like that and you know they love you back – there would be something really wrong with you if it didn't bring you to your knees – that's love for ya – and you're welcome."
"You might've been onto something with Julia…" he said to change the subject.
"Onto something? You mean, like, as in – you were right, sis? Well, thank you – and of course I was right – I am always right, hon."
"Xena is always right – you are right just occasionally – and that's me trying to be nice here."
"I'll let that one slide only because of how adorably whipped you are," Aphrodite giggled.
"I am not fucking whipped, for fuck's sake…!" he snapped, but his sister didn't even flinch; instead, she was now smiling at him patronizingly.
"Whatever you want to believe, Ar – but trust me – in your case, your being whipped is what makes this relationship work. Okay… fine, I'm leaving…" Aphrodite raised her hands in defeat, but contrary to her words, approached him and pulled him into a hug instead, giving him a juicy kiss on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you, hon. I love you."
As soon as his sister disappeared, he let out a long sigh; it had been a long day, only now, with all the adrenaline spent, was he starting to feel the actual weight of it.
And then, when he was stepping inside the living room, he saw her; sleepy, in her black robe, hair disheveled; and there was no weight anymore.
She walked up to him, to where he stood frozen in his spot – and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his waist, nuzzling his face with hers, kissing his cheek – and he couldn't grasp it, really, how he could feel so fucking good and feel like he was drowning at the same time.
"You sneaked out here to watch the sunset without me?" she asked, a subtle tease in her voice.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he protested, but holding back a grin bordered on impossible, and he gave up fast. So, all this time when he'd thought – all this time, she knew – but of course she knew, what did he expect – but for once, he didn't mind it at all; not this, not crying in front of her; for once, he had nothing to hide – and gods, how damn good it felt. And when she tightened her hold on him, her lips finding his – he could die now – he'd felt it all – it wasn't possible to feel more than this.
"I love watching sunsets with you," she whispered in between their kisses, and he didn't know what he wanted to do more, grab her and take her to bed, whisk her out of here, or break down and cry; and it was her that saved him from going crazy, when she kissed his cheek, and whispered into his ear, "Let's go back to bed."
"I feel like I'm drunk," he sniffled into her hair.
"Maybe you are."
"What the hell are you doing to me…"
"Not more than what you're doing to me," she whispered back.
"I shouldn't lose control like this, it's impossible…"
"I wouldn't have chosen it for myself either…"
"So, you're feeling it, too."
"If I'd known it was going to go down this way…"
"Then what?" he asked quietly, out of breath, licking his dried-up lip as he watched her face in the unbearable suspense, and only relaxing when he felt her warm palm on his cheek.
"I would've have done it all the same," she whispered against his cheek, planting a soft kiss there, making his chest contract with so much emotion he thought his head would explode. She couldn't possibly feel the same, she wouldn't be so calm if she did; but fuck it, it didn't matter; she was here, and she wanted to be here, wanted to give him a future; what else could he ask for? "Would you?" she asked.
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't wanna live another day if you weren't here with me," he said before he could stop himself. Well, fuck it, this was what he felt, and she knew it anyway.
"You should listen to your sister more," he felt her grin against his cheek, and froze, wondering how much she'd heard; hell, knowing her stealth mode, she'd probably heard it all.
"You… sneaky little worm," he grinned, grabbing a handful of her rear, smacking the plump, silk-covered flesh just lightly, but it was enough to make her breathless; damn, the way she reacted to his every little touch; it was maddening, right now it made him want to drop down on his knees and—
"Are you gonna reprimand me?" she whispered, rubbing her cheek against his.
"To hell and back," he brushed his tongue across her upper lip, seizing her butt with both hands, pushing her onto him, hungry for her again, it was impossible. "Gods, I can't get enough of you…"
"Have as much as you want, I'm all yours," she breathed into his ear, running a hand up the back of his head, sending a hot shiver through him head to toes, and it was too much; he lifted her up, carrying her to the nearest kitchen counter.
"You can't say things like that…"
"Or what?"
"I'll lose it… I'll lose my mind… I'll go mad…" he ran his palms up her thighs, up her chest, nuzzling her face, her cheek, her ear. "You have no fucking idea what you're doing to me… You make me feel so fucking good, it's unreal…"
"I love it when you lose it," her breath tickled his ear as she kept stroking his chest, her nails grazing the skin slightly. "And just for the record, I don't think you're whipped…"
"You don't?"
"No, I just think you know what's good for you…"
"I'll show you whipped… I'll whip your ass red," he grabbed her hips, grinding her against him; it was so maddening, the way the moaned, sinking her nails into his butt. "But it wouldn't be a punishment, would it? You'd love it, wouldn't you…"
"Yes, please…"
"Fuck…"
"Do you like it when I beg you for it?" she whispered softly against his mouth.
"Gods, you're making me delirious…"
"Let's go to bed."
"I don't know if I'll make it…"
"It will be worth it…"
"Will you give me a back rub?"
She pulled back, frowning. "Really, that's the incentive you need to take me to bed?"
"Hey, I like foreplay, too," he said, smiling when laughed out, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to their bedroom.
Their bedroom.
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