This Calls for a Beer

Hello everyone and welcome to the latest chapter of I'm Too Sober For This! Quite a mess last chapter, now let's see how the gang deals with the aftermath. Also, quick promotional for a fellow author, redfang19, who is now doing commissions! So if you've got a story you'd like written and a little extra cash to burn, why not check him out. And while you're at it, consider checking out my Pat reon and seeing what's going on in the world of Masked Spider! Now then, on to the story!

Private Beach of the Sitri Family

The sun was just beginning to peak out over the small ocean, casting light on another still, peaceful morning. Only two things broke the tranquil stillness: the movement of the tide on the beach, and the rapid, precise movements of a red-haired teen, AKA me.

It was an exercise I'd performed before and had intensified over time since arriving in this world. I moved through one series of sequences before changing weapons and moving through another series of sequences. Twin Chinese blades, scimitars, katanas, European broadswords, spears, lances, and any combination of the above, I'd been projecting and wielding for the past hour.

The main reason was that I also needed to hone and enhance my skills in addition to the members of my Peerage, knowing full well that at least a few of the opponents we would soon face could rival or match Sirzechs. A couple even surpassed him if what we were being told about Ophis was true. That's why I was up early, pushing my magical and physical speed to the limit.

Every time I summoned a new weapon, I'd alter my stance and techniques, using the copied skills while also running all the information I knew about the weapon at my disposal through my head and thinking of new ways I could employ them. Obviously, I'd need to move to a safer area to practice with the full power of the weapons I was summoning, but this would do well enough for a warmup, and to keep my mind occupied.

Maybe a little too occupied, given I almost didn't hear the approaching footsteps of an unexpected guest.

"Trouble sleeping?" Sona asked, standing a few feet away to keep out of range of the nodachi I'd just projected.

"You could say that." I answered, slowing my swings a bit so that my response could be heard. "What about you? Same issue?"

"Only when I think Serafall is in a cuddling mood." The Sitri heiress responded with a shudder. "And when I think something is troubling one of my friends."

"I guess you won't believe me if I say it's nothing." I sighed before dismissing the nodachi and summoning twin daggers.

"If it were nothing, you wouldn't be so distracted as to lose track of time." She pointed out while holding up her phone. I stopped and quickly read the clock, realizing we only had five minutes before our trip to the Familiar Forest was supposed to start. "I do hope you're already prepared for the trip."

"More prepared than I was previously." I replied, dismissing my blades and moving over to pick up a small pack. "Tsubaki was kind enough to recommend a few concoctions for warding off monsters that may want to eat us. So we shouldn't be bringing back any hydras this time."

"My Queen made more than a few notes on her first journey into the Familiar Forest." Sona acknowledged. "I'm simply glad you're making use of them."

"I figured I was scarier than anything in that forest." I explained while rubbing the back of my head. "But it turns out no amount of scary can trump my luck and the Will of Serafall."

"I'm afraid no amount of note-taking is going to solve that issue, either." The Sitri heiress sighed. "Now let's be off. Karasuba appears to be in a good mood this morning but that can mean a lot of things."

Didn't I know it. Fortunately, nothing appeared to set her off in the time it took for me and Sona to get to the teleportation circle and we found her sitting on the ground looking at pictures on her phone.

"I'm assuming you're ready?" I asked, noting her own small pack of supplies next to her.

"Illya packed this for me." Karasuba revealed while patting the load beside her. "She was insistent on cuddling after seeing me with Shirone's little cat and then got this together. I'm assuming that means she's more or less forgiven me."

"Believe me, if she hasn't, that bag will let you know." I commented before turning to Sona. "I guess you can send us any time."

"Actually, I'm coming with you."

"You're what now?" I was fairly certain I'd heard that wrong.

"I'm coming with the two of you." Sona repeated while adjusting her glasses. "There's an important matter we need to discuss, Shirou."

"What did I do this time?" I asked with a sigh. "I promise I tried my best to be quiet when I slipped out this morning."

"This pertains to yesterday." She explained. "But for now, let's focus on finding you a familiar first."

She stepped into the summoning circle with the two of us following shortly after. One brief flash of light later, we found ourselves in a dark forest. Due to time differences, it was currently night in this particular forest.

"Lady Sitri, Lord Emiya, welcome!" An enthusiastic man with red hair, a baseball cap turned backwards on his head, a white sleeveless shirt under a yellow vest, black shorts and a blue jacket tied around his waist greeted us. He seemed to have recovered quite well from nearly being eaten by Asia's pet hydra. "And who's the newcomer you've brought with you?"

"This is Karasuba Hyoudou." I introduced. "The recently-minted Queen of my Peerage."

"Hello." The Queen almost yawned. "So no one's explained it to me yet, but what's the point of getting one of these familiar things?"

"Ah, you haven't been a Devil long, I see." The familiar master noted. "It's a tradition that dates back to the early days of Devils. Familiars are considered a requirement for any and all Devils as they are capable of helping their masters out in various tasks. Most familiars are used for gathering information and relaying messages, but some of the more mystical and powerful ones can perform numerous odd jobs and even assist their masters in fighting if it comes to it."

"You're saying I could get a monster as scary as that hydra that Asia got?" A smirk appeared on her face that I was pretty sure I shouldn't like. "Alright, lead the way."

Understandably, Zatouji's reaction was to laugh nervously before directing us to follow him.

"Just know, Kara, we are not bringing back another hydra." I shot her a look. "Feeding Asia's is hard enough."

"You have plenty of money." Sona noted with some confusion.

"It's the dozens of mouths at once part that's the problem."

"Ah."

"Oh it doesn't need to be a hydra." The Red Dragon Emperor of our world assured. "Just something that matches my temperament."

"I shudder to think what sort of creature that might be." Sona commented.

Karasuba didn't seem to hear, or simply wasn't listening, as we forged onwards. We encountered various familiars, many of which fled the moment my Queen laid eyes on them. Those that didn't showed only mild interest in either of us before moving on.

At one point, a juvenile sprite dragon tried to get it on with Karasuba, only to be punted over the trees like a football.

"Try not kill any of the familiars, please." I deadpanned. "We're probably not the only ones going through this forest today."

At the very least she didn't use her sword this time.

"The little guy was a dragon." Karasuba defended while picking up a giant, three-toed sloth under the armpits and holding it up to eye level. "Something like that won't leave anything permanent." She turned her attention back to the sloth. "Alright, what's your gimmick?"

"I ask depressing existential questions." The sloth replied in a deep, lazy-sounding voice. "Did you know that life is pain?"

"I know, I've got enough dark clouds without you raining on the parade." Karasuba responded before tossing the sloth over her shoulder. This was apparently a common occurrence, given that he barely made a sound after landing in one of the trees.

"Perhaps we should split up for a bit." Sona suggested. "I remember the layout of this forest well enough and we're a bit more pressed for time than usual."

"You sure that's a good idea?" I asked. "Having to deal with an incident or two will slow us down."

"You can relax, Shirou." Karasuba assured. "I'm in a less confrontational mood than I usually am right now. I promise I won't bring back anything that might incite conflict."

"Past experience makes it very hard for me to just take your word on that." I pointed out.

"That's fair." She admitted before turning to Sona. "What about you? How are we pairing off?"

"Zatouji will be going with you." The Sitri heiress informed. "I need to have a word with Shirou."

"Now hold on." Both me and the familiar master started to say for clearly different reasons before Sona shot us an icy glare.

"Bring Zatouji back in one piece, please." I requested in a tone of resignation.

"Whatever you say, boss." Karasuba answered with a casual salute before walking off with the familiar master running after her.

"So," I began as the two of us started trekking in the opposite direction, "What about yesterday did you want to discuss?"

"Your little disagreement with the otherworld Issei Hyoudou." Sona explained. "You could've handled that better."

"I couldn't just let him go without knowing the full story." I defended. "I didn't mean for him to think we were writing this world's Issei off, I just—"

"Have low ability when it comes to verbal debates." Sona cut in. "It's little wonder that other version of yourself had to be shown how you were different."

"Archer and I are the same person." I admitted while rubbing the back of my head. "That includes having the same stubborn streak."

"And that streak has solved and caused a number of problems." The Sitri heiress commented. "In this case, you let yourself be diverted to something that is very much not your problem."

"Karasuba and her brother and the otherworld Issei are all my problems. Are you saying I should write off this world's Issei as some sort of acceptable loss?"

"I'm saying that this world's Issei specifically is not your problem to deal with." Sona explained. "He is Rias' Pawn, and therefore her responsibility, barring his apparently convoluted and unknowing role and position with his family, or have you conveniently forgotten that?"

"I remember." I confirmed. "It's just that Rias didn't seem to—"

"Seem to what, want to solve the problem?" The Devil girl guessed. "Pardon her, she only just made him her Pawn a few weeks ago and at that point Karasuba wasn't even in the picture—Kokabiel was. Add on to that the fact that you've only had Karasuba in your Peerage for a few days. Certainly you could've tried doing something about the problem then, except the Khaos Brigade has picked now of all times to begin moving, you're needed in the Rating Games to help ease tensions between Pure-Blood and Reincarnated Devils, and topping all of that off is a certain irritable Red Dragon Emperor from another world who requires twenty-four-seven surveillance and whose presence has brought the matron deity of all dragons down on our heads along with the threat of the universe ending. So, I think we can all be excused for not putting a single strained relationship between a brother and sister at the top of our priority list."

There was a brief silence.

"When you put it like that, it makes me seem kind of shortsighted." I observed.

"You're a swordsman, Shirou." Sona reminded. "Planning for battles and occasionally coming up with insane ideas on the fly are where your strength lies. Your knowledge of warfare is exactly why I agreed to let you train me and my Peerage. When it comes to convincing people of their own faults, however, your actions have proven more effective than your words."

"I have been roasted on how bad my speeches are." I admitted. "But you know I'm not just a swordsman."

"No, you're a hero too." The glasses-wearing girl recalled. "Saving people is what you do. I should know, you saved all of our lives from Kokabiel. And there's no one saying you can't save this world's Issei, but be honest, your problem with the otherworld Issei had nothing to do with whether or not you'd be saving someone and everything to do with his hypocritical behavior."

"That was the point I was trying to make." I confirmed. "I was trying to help him, and help Kara too."

"Then you let him divert you by going back to the topic he had initially brought up." Sona pointed out. "You may have noticed by now, but that boy intentionally changes the subject whenever one of us is about to hit a sore spot. You clearly hit a big sore spot for him, and instead of owning up to his folly, he hit back with what he knew to be some of the biggest sore spots for you just so you'd let his hypocrisy slide. Had you not come at him so aggressively, he might have actually let you in, although that is just speculation at this point."

"But he wasn't wrong." I argued. "I've been making excuses for Kara, justifying her behavior."

"Issei's justification for his behavior is the exact same thing that he claims isn't enough for Karasuba." Sona shot back. "He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't right either. He was just proving your point. He's a hypocrite that holds everyone else to a higher standard than he holds himself. He claims one's trauma isn't enough to justify bad behavior when that is the entire reason behind why he's such an intentionally unpleasant individual."

"So you heard what he said happened to him?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter whether or not I heard what happened to him." The Sitri heiress responded. "Going by his logic, the severity of the event and the trauma itself are irrelevant. If you're able to recognize right and wrong and have a degree of control over your actions, then there's no excuse. Unless, of course, you're Issei Hyoudou from another world, then it's fine to use all the excuses in this world and the other."

I then breathed out a sigh as I mulled her words over. "Damn, I really am an idiot sometimes."

"You could be worse. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Now that you recognize one of yours, I'm certain you'll think of a solution for it."

"I might have an idea." I crossed my arms in thought. "But it's gonna take a minute to get everything together."

"I'm certain my family can throw together what you need. For now, let's get you a familiar and get back to the beach house."

I nodded in agreement as we picked up the pace slightly. There really wasn't much to think about when it came to preparations for the plan as it was relatively simple. The hard part would be what followed.

Though, whatever thoughts I was having took a backseat when some nearby bushes began rustling. We stopped, our guards raised slightly. In most cases, the familiars in the forest weren't particularly dangerous. Of course, most people didn't encounter the hydra during their visits either, so a bit of caution was definitely warranted here.

Thankfully, there was nothing to fear as a small shape emerged from the foliage.

"Gaaaaaoooo."

The newly arrived creature… growled? Greeted? It was hard to tell given that it sounded like a person pretending to growl. But it was the appearance of the little beast that got my attention, and it almost made my heart stop. It looked like a miniature Saber… in a lion suit?

It was absolutely adorable.

"Uh, Sona?" I began, pointing down at the strange animal, which had sat down on its rump a few feet from us and stared up at me with bright turquoise eyes. "What is that supposed to be?"

"I'm not entirely sure." She answered while gazing at the creature curiously. "A type of shapeshifter perhaps? I don't recall ever encountering a familiar that looks like a small person in an animal suit."

The little ball of fluff got up, closed the distance between us, and began rubbing my leg. It took all my mental discipline not to scoop it up and glomp the stuffing out of it.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and reached down, slowly lifting the odd animal to eye level.

"Gaaaaoooo."

It mewed, almost looking like it was expecting something.

"You think this little guy will get along with Shirone's cat?" I asked, never taking my eyes off the animal.

"I don't see why not." Sona shrugged while adjusting her glasses to more closely examine the odd animal. "Though, I do believe it's a little girl."

"What makes you think that?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Call it woman's intuition." She answered simply. "But the real question is whether or not you'll accept this little one as your familiar?"

I thought about it for a moment, or at least I would've if the little cat being didn't suddenly climb up my arm and perch on my shoulder. She was light as a feather.

"I might not have much of a choice." I almost laughed while reaching up to pet the creature on my shoulder who let out another satisfied "Gaaaaaoooo".

The moment didn't last as a sudden movement caught our eyes and the mood shifted.

"Sona, hold my familiar." I instructed, pushing the miniature lion into her arms.

The Sitri heiress might've protested, except the foliage exploded in the next moment as a massive reptilian claw larger than my entire body lashed out through the forest towards us.

Instantly, I traced a weapon for blocking the attack, the flag of Jeanne d'Arc. It was a useful and durable piece for defensive fighting.

It succeeded in holding up against the blow, but I still had to dig my feet in a bit as the force of the blow let out a powerful shockwave that shook the area and threatened to knock down much of the local fauna.

That said, it gave me enough time to get a look at what I was dealing with: a VERY large blue dragon. Definitely not something most would expect from this forest, even after encountering a hydra.

'How in the world did I miss this?' I grimaced while fighting to hold back the beast. 'Can something this large really hide its presence?'

It was a question that would have to be answered later as I managed to push the limb away, immediately dismissing the flag in exchange for something geared towards fighting dragons, that was until I noticed my attacker tilt its head in slight confusion.

"Not… him…" An inhuman, but unmistakably female voice emerged from the beast as it examined me closer. "His… scent…"

"Uh, what?" I answered dumbly.

My confusion only seemed to annoy her, for she growled again, her tongue hanging out. Drool fell from it onto the dirt ground.

Sona was pale, clutching my equally frightened new familiar like a teddy bear.

The blue dragon sniffed again. "Different… yet similar…" She ran her tongue across her teeth hungrily. "Enticing…"

Red flags were going off in my head. If this dragon really was remotely near the same level as Ddraig, then we were in trouble. Strangely, she didn't give off the same near-feral feeling as when I saw Karasuba's Ddraig. Was she still concealing her presence to a degree? Or did she naturally have greater self-control than the Heavenly Dragons.

The dragon continued to sniff the air, and then gave a growl of… confirmation?

"Beach."

I had more than a couple questions about what that was supposed to mean, but before I could say anything, the dragon's body glowed with the energy of teleportation magic.

An instant later, she was gone.

"That was… odd." Sona managed to get out, finally calming down a bit now that the building-sized dragon had vanished. "Are we about to have another dragon visiting our Peerages?"

Now, why would she… wait, beach?! That thing was after Issei?!

"Just my luck as always." I sighed, taking my familiar in one hand while using the other to activate the communication seal near my ear. "Issei, we've got a problem. A big blue dragon is heading your way."

I got no response.

"We're in a protected forest of magical creatures." The Sitri heiress pointed out. "It's difficult for communication spells to reach the outside world."

"Then let's find Kara and get moving." I stated, feeling my familiar rub against my neck. "I don't think that dragon knows the exact location of the beach house, but we probably won't have long once she catches Issei's scent."

Sona nodded in understanding before we contacted Karasuba, knowing full well that seconds might count at this point.

Just once, I'd like to go out and do something without getting into a weird-ass event happening.

The Beach House: Issei's Room

Issei paused. It was as if a thousand copies of himself were shouting at him in horror and warning of an imminent disaster. And then silence.

Oh right. It was Tuesday. Never mind.

"So, how long are you going to mope around?" Ddraig asked, snapping him out of his funk.

"I'm not moping, I'm being productive." He replied while examining the blueprint of Karasuba's Sacred Gear that he had managed to make a copy of when he was giving her a brief look-over the previous day. It was a trick he had learned from his Azazel, and if he WAS going to have to teach her anything later, he might as well make sure that their Gears functioned similarly enough that whatever he did teach wouldn't kill her outright.

To most, the prints looked like a random assortment of Jewish and Christian-based cult scribbles. To those with some minor exposure, it was a hybrid of Kaballah, and Catholic scriptures overlaid on top of one another with some lines that resembled an electrical circuit diagram, which made sense since the Biblical God was the source of both.

On a side note, Islamic scripture did sometimes show up on Sacred Gears as well, but only the more recent ones since the religion just started when God disappeared.

"You're moping." The dragon in his Sacred Gear deadpanned, knowing his partner better than to let the excuse slide. "You always distract and drown yourself in work when you have something new to mope about. You retreated to old habits the moment you let anything personal out."

"Considering the mood when I had that slip, what exactly did you expect?" The irritable teen grunted as he shuffled some paperwork. "I'm practically watching my story happen all over again here with a twist."

"That's a hard stretch and you know it." Ddraig scoffed. "This world's Issei isn't you. He wasn't granted two Sacred Gears, let alone a decent one. He wasn't trained or supported in any way at any point in life, unlike you. He hasn't spent years making connections with the Three Factions. This world's Issei is the loser you would've become if you'd never encountered the supernatural at the age of seven, save for the different Sacred Gears."

"I know that." Issei barked, annoyed. "Or at least that's what it looks like at face value. I could have been the same, but the family here's… mom and dad were ordinary humans, and I had no sister. The ones here… something's obviously up, even from secondhand accounts. They're pretending to be normal. There's nothing certain about the family until that nonsense is cleared up."

That much they both could agree on. Twins that have dragon Sacred Gears didn't simply just happen, even if the Gears themselves were related.

"Barring the obnoxious mystery of your counterpart sires, what do you think he would've become if he'd just been a normal, only child?" Ddraig questioned. "You think he would've still tried being a world-class doctor? You only chose that path after getting your Sacred Gears and being told how to Boost your learning ability. But this world's Issei can't do that, he's got the most common Sacred Gear, and isn't really useful for anyone's interests. His story isn't going to turn out like yours."

"You're damn right it's not." Issei growled. "I'm not gonna let an insecure white-haired bitch ruin his life while everyone else turns their heads! There's no excuse for… huh."

"What? You realize your hypocrisy was showing again?" Ddraig asked.

"No, something else." The otherworlder clarified, completely ignoring his own acknowledgement of his twisted logic, absorbed in the blueprint. "Something's different on the print. The majority of the core of both Boosted Gears are nearly identical, but… some core inputs and values are altered way beyond normal specs… and there's something else too, an additional external input. Looks almost like a patch, for lack of a better term."

"And?" Ddraig wasn't happy with the change in topic, but he also knew Issei had a habit of finding and stumbling on things that usually wound up being important.

"Hold on, I need to check something." Moving to another part of the room, Issei pulled out another set of blueprints and unrolled them next to Karasuba's.

"That's… the copy of the Twice Critical from your counterpart."

Issei ignored the comment and examined the documents. "The core fundamentals between the two Sacred Gears are practically one-to-one once you disregard the whole 'housing the soul of a powerful dragon' part… right down to the last-second patch."

Judging from his tone, he didn't like this development.

"What's so special about it?"

"Sacred Gears are designed with an internal receiver to connect to God's system, but those are already here, same as mine. There's a secondary set rammed into the ones in this world though, and from what I can tell from the prints, they're not a bidirectional pass to the thaumaturgical structure of the Gear. They're a one-way feed, but to the Kabballic system that interacts between the Gear, user, and tenant if there is one. There shouldn't be a reason for something awkward like that to exist. Hold on, it's primarily tapping to… Binah, Gevurah, Yesod, and Malkuth… ffffffuck."

"Aren't those positions…?"

"Based in 'discipline', 'foundation', and 'kingship', yeah. All part of the conscious emotions coordination. Except for Binah, which is 'understanding'. Mess with all these in particular over a long time, and take into account that there's a global divine signal being sent out everywhere for centuries at least… I think we might have found why so many Dragons here are pricks. Heaven's got some serious shit to explain."

"You know who you have to inform about this." The dragon replied with a heavy growl in his tone. Different world or not, his pride as a dragon would not let this slide.

"We both know letting this info loose carelessly would be a disaster. Some moron will eventually wind up using it to make a huge weapon against dragons in general if it gets out. I'm half-tempted to just break this part of everyone's Gears and call it a day." Issei made a nauseous expression. He didn't want to get roped into accidentally causing another widespread disaster again. Directly or indirectly.

"That won't fix the greater issue. It's still having an accumulating effect on those longer lived. Sacred Gear or not." He was referring to the Dragon Kings and Ophis. Hell, probably the only dragon that wasn't affected by the signal was Great Red himself since he was off doing whatever in the Dimensional Gap, only that wasn't saying much because [DREAM] was an asshole to begin with.

"Tch… fine. Not yet, though. We need more info than just speculation. More samples from other Sacred Gears and an examination of the signal itself. Questions will be asked and I'm going to be put on the spot eventually for the answers whether I want to be or not. You know how shitshows like this turn out."

"Mmm. Fine. You are the practiced hand when it comes to disasters like this." Ddraig clearly didn't like the decision, but he had seen all too well how badly rushing into one of these technical matters without sufficient material could turn out. "Regardless, before discussing it with anyone, you might consider an apology first. The more that are at least amicable with you when you release this information and your suspicions, the better."

Issei let out an annoyed sigh, but didn't say anything. He knew he needed to clear the air. But it would have to wait.

Finding the exact frequency for the signal was simple enough after looking at the prints. Fortunately, he had a modified receiver meant for divine messages that he had nabbed off of the Underworld's ebay once (his Azazel had taught him that messing with the blindly devout while pretending to be an Angel was far more entertaining than it should be so long as you didn't overdo things).

He had to tweak the range of the device slightly since the signal was akin to being on a "military" ranged frequency instead of a "public" one. That, unfortunately, was going to take a day or two to pull off. He excelled in improvising the insides of people and God's system, not garage equipment.

When he tried calling Shirou, he found that the signal wasn't getting through, which wasn't too surprising. The Familiar Forest was heavily protected by natural and magical elements that got in the way of long-distance communication in his reality, and it looked like it was the same here.

Deciding there was nothing else he could do but wait for the moment, Issei made his way to the bathroom. He needed a shower and it'd been a minute since he'd tried drowning himself standing up in one.

Even if he had all but confirmed that the damn showerheads had spread the word across realities to stop him from pulling it off. Cunning bastards.

It only took a minute for him to ditch his clothes, start the shower and step in once it was warm enough. 'I could always avoid the whole thing and just tell the 2.0s.' He mused while washing himself. 'But I guess I will have to talk to him again eventually. I doubt I'll be lucky enough for a sudden breakthrough from the science department that'll get me home and prevent Ophis' entire ambition.'

Even if such a circumstance did occur, however, the last thing he wanted to do was leave after potentially making one of his most respected heroes hate him.

Because what was he really expecting? Of course Shirou was gonna defend Karasuba, she was his Queen and he was a hero who wanted to save people. But he was also human, err Devil, in this case, he was gonna overlook things from time to… what was that? For some reason, it felt like something had just caused the house to shudder.

"GRAAAAAAAH!"

A somewhat familiar draconic roar shook the building before a hole was torn in the bathroom ceiling and a blue monster tried to ram its head through it.

Issei went ash-white as his instincts kicked in.

He recognized that blue head.

It was Tiamat.

And if she was anything like the one back home, this could only mean one thing…

Standing naked in the shower, Issei did what came naturally, and screamed like a little bitch.

At the Same Time: Outside the Beach House

"Keep moving!" I ordered as soon as the teleportation was finished, not waiting to see if the two women could keep up with me. I figured if we were dealing with a dragon they'd have time to catch up if it turned into a fight.

'I hope we're not too late.' I thought as the beach house came into view.

Unfortunately, the presence of a large shape behind it confirmed my worst fears. That and the following scream.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

A high-pitched yell reached my ears. 'Oh no, one of the girls is already in danger.'

I grit my teeth and ran even faster.

The shrieking happened again as a shape came smashing through the front door, clearly too terrified to tell where she was going. Or at least I thought it was a "she" until the figure barreled into me and I fell on my back.

"Gah, Issei!" I realized once I sat up. "That dragon is—"

"SHE'S GONNA FUCK ME!" He screamed in my face, his voice a noticeable few octaves higher than most men would ever have and his eyes genuinely bugging out of his skull in a pure panic.

"Wait, that's why she's after you?" I asked in confusion. I thought dragon hormones were supposed to make them want to fight.

I had admittedly glossed over the other thing that they were prone to doing during our earlier heated conversation.

"RAAAAAAAAAAH!" The Dragon King roared while stomping over towards us with a maddening desire burning in her sapphire eyes.

"Noooo! Not again! I'm not emotionally ready or physically durable enough for this!" Issei yelled without thinking before turning and running. The dragon leapt after him, pouncing over and over again like an oversized cat trying to catch a mouse. With the added bonus of making the ground shake every time she landed.

If it wasn't so terrifying to those of us that had our heads on straight, it would have been a pretty comedic sight in retrospect.

"Hahahahaha!"

Karasuba's shameless pointing and laughter at the other Sekiryuutei's misfortune more or less proved that assumption right. On the plus side, it was good to hear her laughing more.

Still, why wasn't he fighting back? Surely he could overpower this behemoth.

"No death by Snu-Snu! NO DEATH BY SNU-SNU! I DON'T DO SNUFF! THREE TIMES IS THREE TIMES TOO MANY!"

It was about the only explanation I could think of that made any sense given how the two were acting. 'Great, an embarrassing PTSD episode on top of everything else.' I sighed before summoning Jeanne's flag again and using its protective ability to knock the dragon out of the air halfway into her latest pounce. "You must cease!" I yelled, trying to get her attention.

The dragon blatantly ignored me in an almost possessed way, completely disregarding my interference and continuing her pursuit of the screaming Sekiryuutei.

I ran through the weapons I had, trying to find one that might be able to get her to calm down, if not stop her. If she was as dangerous as Ddraig I really didn't want to attempt a confrontation. Though, I might not have much of a choice as she leapt again.

Fortunately, someone else was also looking out for Issei as he suddenly vanished. I quickly saw where, as he reappeared next to Sona.

"You want a red dragon!" Karasuba cried out, dropping from the sky with her nodachi extended several times its normal length. "You got one!"

A resounding clang filled the air as her blade impacted with the cerulean creature's head. But as sharp as the blade was, it failed to cut through her scales and the dragon thrashed about wildly, sending Karasuba back. The local Sekiryuutei quickly recovered as she landed on the ground and dove back into the fight.

"Kara wait!" I yelled. "We don't need to fight her!"

"Do you have a better way to deal with her?!" She shouted back while dodging around a claw swipe and hitting her opponent in the neck. This time her sword actually broke, but it was discarded and replaced so quickly it hardly mattered. "I won't say no to you giving her the porn-monger but I know he's supposed to be your buddy."

"Please don't let her fuck me to death." Issei whimpered from behind Sona with wide traumatized eyes while holding onto the council president for dear life.

"Will you please let go of me and find some pants!" Sona bellowed.

"I'm too scared for pants. Tia's scary."

Tia? Wait, as in Tiamat? One of the Five Great Dragon Kings?!

I don't normally swear, even internally, but fuck.

Apparently, Sona had the same thoughts. "Dragon King Tiamat?" She asked, her voice full of shock.

Issei gave a frightened squeak, which I interpreted as a yes.

Making the situation all the more embarrassing, Issei had apparently been in the shower when Tiamat had attacked, hence his current lack of attire. We needed to end this quickly before we were all scarred for life.

Then again, Sona had seen Sirzechs' naked crotch, so—

Shut up.

Refocusing, I continued my search through my massive arsenal until I finally found what we needed: Enkidu's Chain.

Since it was a chain with a blade on the end, I could use it. I'd definitely seen what it was capable of doing plenty of times.

"Issei, get a hold of yourself and use this!" I called while tracing the Divine Construct. The one downside to this particular weapon was the more length I made, the more mana it required.

Then there was getting it around Tiamat to restrain her. Thankfully, that was a problem it turned out I didn't need to worry about.

"Gimme! Gimme-Gimme-Gimme!" Issei repeated frantically as his eyes lit up with recognition, having rushed over and grabbed the chain. Annoying or not, it was nice to have someone around that could tell what I had planned just by seeing what I had in hand without any explanation.

It was just in time, too, as Karasuba had retreated once again to avoid being stomped on by Tiamat.

Unlike his random flailing, the otherworlder moved blindingly quick this time to the point that even I had trouble following him, his movements undoubtedly enhanced by both his Boosting and just downright terror as he warped around the dragon's neck and body dozens of times within a few seconds, pulling the chain with him as I kept adding length at an almost concerning rate had I not been prepared for it.

"Boost!"

Issei ran his power through the chain as soon as he landed on the ground, increasing the chain's weight and pulling tight. Tiamat grunted in surprise when her head dropped from the surprising force now pulling on her.

"Tag in." Karasuba declared, leaping up onto Tiamat's head and placing her hand on it.

[Boost!]

The ground shook as the weight of the dragon's own skull was increased.

"What… what is this?" Tiamat asked in confusion, her voice more composed now. "This isn't one of the chains of Gleipnir."

"It's a Chain of Heaven." I explained. "Originally designed to go against one of the most powerful beings in my world. Add the power of the Boosted Gear to it, and you won't be escaping any time soon."

"I see, that's why I'm not able to transform right now." Tiamat mused. "But you realize my intent was not to kill anyone."

"You did the exact same thing when we first met—when I was ten." Issei stated in a haunted tone, once more hiding behind Sona as though she was a human shield.

"That's interesting, but WILL YOU PLEASE PUT SOME PANTS ON?!"

"Tia's scary. No pants is a sign I almost died."

"No, it's not."

"Ddraig."

"Nope. Not even going to try to explain that one again. I did it once and still hate myself to this day for it."

"Traitor."

Well, that more or less explains everything except why exactly Tiamat was interested in him in particular, and that was something I could do without so long as it didn't happen again.

"So you have met my counterpart." The dragon surmised with an irregular purr in her tone. "Then you're aware of why I am pulled to you?"

Issei's rampant and childish shivering stopped immediately, and I had a strong suspicion that she was touching on a particular topic that was more private and personal than most would suspect. Especially when I noticed Karasuba genuinely blink in surprise from the corner of my eye.

"Painfully." The otherworlder answered, his voice returning to normal octaves while avoiding any eye contact with anyone.

"Painfully?" This time it was Tiamat's turn to blink in confusion at his choice of words before her massive eyes narrowed and she looked at him carefully. "It couldn't be that you…"

"Fortunately, now that we're both calmed down, I know how to help you deal with me being here temporarily." He cut her off before she could say anything else, produced some sort of air freshener from his pocket dimension, quickly warping in front of the Dragon King and setting it in front of her before casting some brief spell and touching her nose and flickering away again.

The blue giant sniffed and shook her head as much as she could for a few seconds before her eyes seemed to regain focus and her breathing calmed down. "Hmmm. Clever. This will do for now."

"Is it safe to let her go?" I asked hesitantly. I wasn't about to take chances considering the trouble dragons had been giving us lately.

"Yeah, so long as I'm not a factor, Tia should have it together better than most… but I'm still hiding." Issei responded, now somehow in a bush next to me that I had not noticed until just now. The only reason why I could tell he was in it was from the small shaking and his eyes somehow sticking out of it like he was some cartoon character.

It wasn't pants, but it was a start.

Withholding a sigh, I dismissed the golden chains restraining the Dragon King.

The moment she was free, Tiamat's giant body glowed and shrank down.

When she stood up, her form had changed to that of a beautiful "human" woman with long pale blue hair, dark blue eyes, and a body that was basically doused with the color of deep blue.

"Better, the haze has lifted, for the most part." She noted, giving the bush Issei was hiding in a brief unreadable look but saying nothing on the matter. "I suppose we should discuss the current situation for a bit."

That Evening: Outside the Beach House

"Glad that's finally over." Issei groaned. "Of all places, why did Tia have to be in the Familiar Forest today of all days?"

"It's just my luck." I stated matter-of-factly. "Something has happened every time I've gone in that place."

"Counting this time, you've been in there twice." The Sekiryuutei reminded me.

"And something's happened both times." I pointed out. "Which is why I asked my Pawns to bring over a large order of beer." Issei gave me a questioning look. "Yes, I'll share if you want to join me." Unsurprisingly, that was all he needed to hear.

An Hour Later

"So there I am, ya know, just messin' around and the next thing I know, I'm in the Dimensional Gap without pants." Issei slurred, tossing the empty beer can over his shoulder. "I mean, what the fuck, how does that even work? I wasn't even playing with the fabrics of reality at the time… or at least I don't think I was? Or was I?"

"You tell me, you're the one who got in and out." I answered with a bit of slur to my own words.

We were currently seated in a patio setup just outside of the beach house and had, obviously, been drinking for quite a while if the slowly growing mountain of cans was anything to go by. I suspected I'd need to apologize to my Pawns later for the amount of beer coolers they'd be carrying this evening.

"I dropped in on accident, I had to improvise to get out." The Sekiryuutei lazily explained. "Managed to rig a beacon for Auntie O to pick me up. Almost got in trouble with Red. Walking bag of hemorrhoids, that one. At least one of the perks of having an interdimensional being on your side is they got all kinds of ways to help deal with those situations… or at least survive them for a bit. Still don't know exactly how long I was stuck in the gap to be honest. Time's all loopy there. I think I was there for a few days? A month? Ddraig won't tell me."

"I told you, stop asking. You're better off not knowing."

"Whoa… two months…"

Something told me it was significantly longer than that, but even drunk, I knew better than to actually say it.

"Come to think of it, you don't say much about this Ghost character." I observed, though it probably felt like a random tidbit I noticed considering how shitfaced I must have looked.

"What is there to say? He's an asshole with reality-bending powers." Issei hicupped. "He's not a bad guy, but when he's around you twenty-four-seven, weird is just the default. Kinda like an asshole older brother that's just bumming around treating everything like a joke most of the time, but does help out with some good advice and tricks every now and then that nobody else has."

"But it sounds like you got along with him." I noted. "Did you ever argue?"

"Not like a serious 'I hate your guts' argument." The otherworlder shrugged. "Most of it was just along the lines of 'the fuck, why are we naked and covered in baby oil for training again? Stop throwing wrenches at me for naked dodging practice, you insane bastard! Where did you even get them in the first place?' That sort of thing."

No. No I couldn't say I did understand "that sort of thing".

"Guess good friends wouldn't get into serious arguments very often." I reasoned. "At the same time, I guess he can't really call you out on anything, anyway. Millennial old beings like that always have a stupid long rap sheet."

"I doubt he's told me even half the stuff on his rap sheet, even after seven years." Issei commented. "Some of his stories are pretty far out there. Supposedly, he moonlights as an interdimensional carnie and chef for some pocket change, but financially, he's so in-debt to his younger brother, he claims he could live for several eternities doing risky jobs for money and never be able to pay it off. Gets all weepy about it when it's brought up."

"Apparently destroying universes is on there somewhere." I pointed out. "He must've been to a lot of them if he knows he can erase one."

"It's not like I ever asked him for a demonstration. Most people don't take him seriously normally, but he supposedly has a history and reputation that genuinely puts those higher up on the cosmic scale on edge whenever he's around." The Sacred Gear holder shrugged.

"You believe it?" I asked skeptically.

"Outside of Auntie O, I've never seen anyone actually react that way to him. But… well, I did see someone else on the greater cosmic scale once by accident. Someone he works with." The younger teen shivered. "You don't take anyone that can casually talk to and about things like that lightly. You just don't."

"That bad?"

"If Angra Mainyu, Type Moon, ORT, and Primate Murder spawned some all-powerful reality-destroying mutant offspring, it would worship what I saw as an absolute greater divinity to obey above all else without exception. I still slip into tongues sometimes if I dwell on the memory for too long… she can tell if I do."

Oof. Okay then. Eldritch abomination point made. Time to switch topics. "Back to Ghost. I'm surprised he didn't do anything if things got that bad and he liked you as much as you said."

"From what I was told, he was damn pissed when this cloth was put on. Pissed enough that he hadn't said anything for a while beforehand, which is a bad sign in hindsight. I don't know exactly what happened when it happened. Some kind of deal was struck. I was asleep when it happened so I don't know the exact details and everyone's made it a point that it's best if I don't know them."

Something tells me that Issei had been more than simply "asleep".

My eyes were fixed on the holy shroud that was encased on the Sekiryuutei's right arm.

Ah. Now I get it.

Ghost was kept asleep because he was so pissed off at what happened to Issei that he gave the Maou, Michael, and Azazel an ultimatum: if Issei isn't mentally better and, dare they say it, actually happy, by the time Ghost wakes up again or Issei dies, Ghost was going to flat out wipe out Issei's universe. Full stop. It wouldn't even be a ten second job for him. The only ones that would have a hope of surviving would be Ophis and Great Red, and that's if they jump ship and travel to another world in the process.

"That is pretty weird." I admitted. "I guess the other faction leaders knew him well enough to know that he was serious."

"They recognize the kind of being he is, if not the full scale. Honestly, I doubt anyone could." Issei laughed bitterly. "Like I said, Ghost's pretty immature and downplays himself constantly, so it's easy to forget he's as big as he is most of the time. Nothing weird about that."

"No, it's weird." I insisted. "It's weird that those guys wouldn't have been trying day and night to prevent the end of their universe. I think you said you've been like this for, what was it, five years?"

"Yeah." He nodded while sagging in his seat. "Though, I didn't help much. If you think I'm bad now, you should have seen me during the bulk of that time. Wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't leave my room, and would murder or maim pretty much anyone that tried. The perpetual hallucinations didn't help either."

"You didn't accept any help? You just shut everyone out?"

Issei just stared off into the distance with a glazed look in his eyes. "Everyone that tried to help me was already hurt because of me. Targeted. One way or another. It wasn't likely going to stop either. Tricking the world into thinking I was dead was probably the best thing that happened to them all in years. Hiding away… just made it all easier… and possible, for everyone. Staying away just helped with the act and fool the ones that were still looking for me."

"You sure about that?" I asked with less of a slur in my voice. "Because I believe you said something to the effect that you weren't anyone's top priority. But that's clearly bullshit considering you've got an all-powerful asshole willing to destroy your universe because he's mad about what happened to you. What exactly would it take for him to stop being mad?"

"Remember what I said about everyone being targeted?" Issei snorted bitterly and lifted up a hand to start counting. "Kuro-nee's sister was held hostage by her King. Jaz's degrees, accolades, research, and sponsorships were withdrawn alongside mine before she was literally convicted of being a pedophile. The organization we built up together was stolen from us due to legal loopholes. Heaven was the first to be pressured to withdraw due to interference because all the litigation took place in the Underworld. Then the Maous because Zechs was forced to withdraw or else he'd be in inflated trouble for breaking some stupid half-hearted rules by helping me out, forcing him to sacrifice something too valuable in the process; and the Maous in general had to keep a unified face when it came to inter-faction disputes, so they followed soon after. Ironically, Zaz was last just from the overwhelming pressure. And that's not counting all the people that 'mysteriously vanished' or outright ran away when it got too much to bear. All because they didn't switch sides and let a twelve-year-old get dragged through the streets. If you want someone to do anything, you find out what they prioritize most of all and target it. Simple as that. And Ghost was the one that underscored that very fact to me."

I frowned. I had suspected he had been close to the Kuroka of his world, but to target Shirone just to get at him… "I thought you said he was pissed."

"He was. Doesn't mean that he didn't understand or accept it all for what it was. Ghost is a strong advocate of letting idiots dig their own graves to save everyone else the trouble. Problem is that it's hard to tell when he thinks people are being stupid from the way he acts most of the time. Much less what he's really thinking in general at any time."

Sounds like he'd get along with Rin.

"If anything, he predicted what was going to happen the moment shit first started sideways. Kept on talking as if he had seen it all before and backhanded half-hearted warnings. It was everyone else, including me, that disregarded what he was saying and thought they could handle it. He was the one that more or less told everyone that if it does turn out as badly as it did despite his warnings, well…" Issei laughed as if remembering a bad and depressing joke.

"You didn't answer my question." I couldn't keep the frustration out of my voice. "You know damn well what it would likely take for Ghost to calm down. That's one of the reasons you're still a wreck after five years: you refuse to face your issues."

The alcohol flowing through my body was making me bolder.

"You keep complaining—no, bitching—about how no one cares about you and your situation, but is that really the whole truth? I called you out yesterday because you needed to know you had a problem and how do you respond? You avoided the topic completely."

"You were gonna abandon this world's Issei." He shot back, his cheeks red. "You're the one—"

"You know damn well I wasn't going to do that." I corrected. "If you really knew me, then you'd know why I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, even after encountering bastard after bastard."

"Yeah I know, you're the hero." He groaned. "You're supposed to see the best in people, to give your life for people you don't even know. You don't care how many dumbass political stunts you get involved in so long as it winds up helping someone in the end. You—"

"Don't care whether or not I'm someone's top priority." I added for him. "I wouldn't be much of a hero if I worried about that kind of stuff. The only reason I value my life to any degree right now is because I know there are people out there who'd hate to see me die, but I don't demand that they think only of me."

"But I'm not like you." Issei narrowed his eyes. "I didn't become strong for some noble cause like being a hero. And even if I did, I don't have a whole host of capable people who are literally willing to take on the world or ruin the lives of their loved ones for my sake when the chips are down."

"Except Ghost, who wants to destroy your universe for what happened to you." I reminded. "Ddraig, who's been with you from the start and would probably choose to stay with you if given the option. And believe it or not, probably several other people feel the same if you gave them that choice. But you can't help being this contradictory mess where you want people around you but don't because they might get hurt. You also want to be happy, but don't think you deserve it so you push away all solutions that could help you with your problem. That's probably why the faction leaders aren't tripping over themselves to see you happy—because you won't let them!"

"They had their chance to help me and chose their own interests over me! I was twelve! You think a scarred kid that age would hold their own in court like some stupid divine main character from a shitty fantasy story?! I literally stood to the side while watching all the adults assure me that they had it covered, and then watched it all fall apart because they all had 'reasons!'" Issei yelled, glaring at me. "You seriously think that doesn't happen all the time in real life? That good people, even kids, aren't fucked by the system or pricks with old money? Because I'm willing to bet I know what Serafall's answer will be if you ask her."

I twitched. Another low blow, but it was relevant this time. Sera was the one with more political experience, not me. And even I wasn't enough of an idealogue to ignore the obvious answer to those questions.

Issei turned back and heavily leaned back in his seat. "I solved some of the biggest problems all three Factions had in centuries, literally handing it over to them on fucking gold platters. I helped them without even being asked to because I was a nice person. I did enjoy helping people for the sake of just being appreciated and accepted. But the one time I needed them more than anything, I was left out to dry when they said they would stick with me. Along with almost everyone else I knew when the pressure was put on them. The few that remained had their lives so screwed over that they're still trying to put the pieces back together. So of course I don't want them anywhere near me. I know Ghost is angry, but I know him well enough that it's more for his own reasons than for me specifically. Auntie O got tricked into neutrality by signing a contract, and you know how gods are with those, so she can't even willingly see me these days. The dragons see me as something I can't even imagine filling the role of anymore without driving myself insane, and even if I did find someone that could handle backing me up, I… it got bad at the end. For everyone. Revealing that I'm still alive now will only cause problems. Even if I could somehow manage to control myself again."

I frowned. "You make it sound like you're a lost cause. Therapy can do wonders."

He was silent for a moment.

"I have an awakened Origin."

The flat admittance was not something I had expected, but the weight of its implications hit me hard. "I… that shouldn't be possible. This isn't my world. Origins aren't a thing here."

Issei snorted. "[Dream], [Nothing], [Infinite], [Domination], [Supremacy]. Do those sound familiar to you?"

I felt a chill as he recited those familiar titles. "Dragons have Origins?"

He rocked a flat hand back and forth in a so-so gesture. "Or focus. The exact terminology doesn't really matter since the end result is more or less the same. The biggest difference is that, unlike in your world, when a Dragon knows what theirs is, you can consider it an immediate trigger, no training or ritual or unlocking gimmick. Warps your head permanently on the spot. Almost like a prime directive to obtain or express. An obsession. It takes a while for most to figure out what theirs is, and everyone considers it extremely private information. Only meatheads like Ddraig and Red actually screamed it out to the world simply because they thought it didn't matter. And I woke up mine waaaaay too early."

"I hope you're not excusing that your Origin is the reason why you act the way you do."

The younger teen laughed, and I sensed a hint of madness in his voice. "Nah. That'd be too simple. No. What happened was that the shitshow I was in was specifically tailored and designed to attack me with mine in mind. To denounce my efforts to recognize it. To make the world around me state that everything I did was wrong. Everything I strove for was wrong. My very focus was wrong. My very existence was wrong. Over and over and over again for a year, in endlessly increasing volumes, while stripping away everything I had made and done, tearing away and harming those I cared about and associated with, telling me I was a horrible monster all the while… and in the end, It worked, and I believed them. And here I am."

I opened my mouth, trying to figure out what to say, but nothing immediately came to mind. Kiritsugu had explained to me what Origins were, and how it could affect people, mages or not. Awakened Origins were no laughing matter, and even trained spellcrafters succumbed to their own revelations every now and then without aggravation.

But attacking someone psychologically through it over a long period of time, let alone a twelve-year-old, was something I felt only the most deranged magi from my world would willingly do.

Hell, I didn't awaken mine, yet I knew instinctively that if I did one day lose control, my body would literally spawn blades literally everywhere at the very least.

"What is… no, you really don't believe you'll be sane again, do you? That you're really a bad person?"

"I can function. Eventually." He gave me a non-answer. "But I can't do people. Not anymore. That said, it would have been nice if I could do what Arcueid Brunestud did and use eighty percent of my power to keep my impulses in check. Save everyone the effort and get some quick results."

"You can trust me." I stated simply, going into a topic that I knew I could handle while saving that offhand comment about the White Princess for later just in case. "Because I didn't know any of this when I stepped between you and the Maous. Yeah, maybe it's just my nature and I'd do the same for just about anyone, but that doesn't mean we aren't friends. So what do you say? Are you okay with having an annoying hero as a friend?"

"You'd watch my ass even if I said no." Issei quipped before shrugging. "A demon lord's hero and an unstable pervert dragon just wanting to chill and get drunk, fuck it. I'm too drunk and tired to get mad or care anymore. Let's just try and go back to the way things were before."

"I'll second that." I smiled before we clinked the cans together.

"So, did you find a familiar?" He asked after taking a swig.

In response, I waved a hand and mine appeared between us. "This is Lily." I declared.

Issei stared at my familiar, who stared right back, tilting her head curiously. Then he loosed a belly laugh.

"Fuck. It's Carnival Phantasm all over again. I should be scared shitless, but this really is too damn funny."

I blinked, and my familiar mimicked my action. "Carnival Phantasm?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know." He said, taking another sip.

That kind of annoyed me, and Lily apparently felt the same way, as she promptly sank her teeth into Issei's leg. Judging by his making no real effort to shake her off and the lack of a cry of pain or discomfort, he probably didn't care. After a couple minutes of this, I dismissed my familiar.

The rest of the evening was pretty blurry after that. We drank the rest of the beer and passed out at some point. Which probably explained why we were in an embarrassing position the next day.

What Really Happened

"No fair." Asia pouted at the sight before her: a passed out Shirou and Issei next to a small mountain of beer cans. "You had all this beer and you didn't invite me?!"

But her annoyed accusation didn't appear to be capable of waking either of them up, especially considering how loudly one of them was snoring.

'Alright, plan B.' Asia thought as a mischievous idea entered her head. Fortunately for her, but not so fortunate for them, the duo was so plastered they didn't wake up even when she started moving their bodies.

"Così provocatorio." Asia laughed evilly to herself as she took a picture with her phone. "Now whom should I send this to first?"

"Fou," a small white creature resembling a squirrel with rabbit-like ears squeaked in response.

"Good idea," She acknowledged. The blond-haired girl had no idea where this little creature had come from but she'd worry about that later.

Tomorrow was going to be an interesting day for the two drinking buddies.

'I hate that I love my friends!' Wait, was that the takeaway of this chapter? I'll let you all decide on that so feel free to leave a comment or review about what you liked/disliked or if you've got any neat ideas for future chapters. Also, don't forget to check out my Pat reon and see about becoming a patron! Finally, stop in next time as the Rating Games finally begin!