Lost In Purple

Chapter 56: Failure

Melanie's POV

Sleep? I don't know what that is anymore. All the verbal abuse they've done, all the physical damages they've inflicted, all the screaming it's caused between them…it keeps me up at night. Sometimes I think I care too much for people, which is something that I've been told is impossible, something that I've been told is an incredibly good trait to have. Caring has sadly become the worst thing about me, to the point where I can't even be excited for spring break. All I could hear last night was the arguing between Chip, Javier, and Johnny. The muffled roars and growls rumbled the house relentlessly, probably even keeping the entirety of Frat Row awake as their fury unfolded. I don't even know how long it went on for, but I'm assuming that Johnny won the argument since his voice sounded confident and never wavered the entire time they were all talking; There was no stuttering or sighing coming from him. I never really knew what they were talking about since the walls in this house are crazy thick, but they were thin enough to keep me worrying for hours upon hours. But yeah, I couldn't sleep at all, even after taking a shower and counting sheep.

Anyways, today is the day that I turn in my essay. It was definitely one of the better assignments I've done so far, but it was still kind of weak since it wasn't kinesthetic at all. Which reminds me, I have to turn that in before class starts. We've been given the option to either print it out or turn it in online, and I feel like turning it in online since that's easier. I do the usual, which is to painfully roll out of bed with a couple cracks of the back and creaks of the limbs before I stand upright. I don't see my laptop on my desk which is where I thought I left it last, but I keep calm and decide that I maybe moved it into my backpack last night, forgetting that I did. When I grab it off the ground and zip open the main compartment, I only see various colored notebooks. Feeling a little nervous, I zip open the other pockets to find everything except what I'm trying to find. That horrible feeling envelopes my entire abdominal region, making me feel nauseous and think that it's the end of the world. If it's not on my desk or in my backpack is it in my bathroom? Nope. Under my bed? Nope. On my nightstands or under my pillow? Nope.

I'm now hyperventilating, unable to take full breaths and feeling my eyes sting. This is the worst thing that could have happened today and I've only been awake for 5 minutes. Not only was that essay really important to me, but it was about 25 percent of my grade, meaning that I won't be getting an A in that class anymore. This means that I'll be letting down everyone in ROR and letting down everyone who knows me to be a straight A student. It'll be the first class since elementary school that I didn't get an A in, meaning that the person I'll let down the most is myself. Why is this happening to me, how could I lose my laptop this easily, what's going to happen to me and everyone around me once this is set in stone? The blood rush I'm experiencing puts me into overdrive. I'm digging through the entire room, basically turning it upside down, making it look like a bomb went off. Clothes are scattered all over the floor, the nightstands are moved away from the wall along with the desk, and my blankets are sprawled out on the floor. I've searched everywhere, every single nook and cranny, under and over every single object, it's nowhere, IT'S NOWHERE! I know I left it in the room yesterday, I know I did! It can't be anywhere else, but it's not here!

I end up in the fetal position on the floor, feeling every tear roll down my face with my head buried in my arms. I can see the disappointment on everyone's faces, and I can hear the conversations I'll have with everyone when they ask 'how did that happen? What happened to being a straight A student?' I don't know what happened, it's just gone! I don't what to do and I'm positive nobody else will either! Maybe there's something so can do to save myself. Maybe Professor King will allow me an extension of some kind. Hopefully he won't be giving me a lecture on grit and integrity.

"You…lost your laptop?" Professor King asks me with a puzzled expression, knowing that everyone's left the classroom for break.

I nod while wiping my eyes, unable to put together a coherent sentence. With an ugly voice I'm able to spit out, "I-I understand i-if that's hard to b-believe, but I swearthatIhaditreadybutIcouldntfinditan-"

"Miss Everett please take a coupon deep breaths, I-I can't understand you," Professor King states while trying to think things through.

I can't take any deep breaths because of how much I'm sobbing. While many people might consider this to be childish and unnecessary since it's not a big deal, I find this to be a new low for me. I've set my goals high, and have had them high for years, and this is the first time I didn't reach them. It's like suddenly being unable to do your favorite hobby or past time. It was basically crystallized within my capabilities for me to ace everything I did.

"What software were you using? Could we maybe log onto your account and just pull it from there?" He asks.

"No…," I cry, "I-I used the-the built in wordpad that i-isn't accessible to other computers. I c-can't afford any of th-the software."

Professor King exhales deeply, letting the golden flames in his throat glow brighter. "And you don't have it stored on a flash drive or anything?"

I shake my head, knowing that everything's hopeless know. It's obvious that there's nothing I can do to fix this.

"…Well…then I'm sorry Miss Everett, I really am. I know that you're not the kind of person to forget or refuse to do assignments, but I just can't in good conscience give you an extension or drop this assignment when everyone else has turned there's in already," Professor King sighs.

I shouldn't have expected anything grand. It probably would have been better to just not come to class today and save myself the embarrassment. I've made everything a bit harder for the Professor as well since he now has to talk to me while I'm hysterical.

"If it were anything not academic I wouldn't care, but it's unprofessional and unethical for me to give you alternatives, and giving you more time for the assignment would mean that I'm picking favorites," He explains further.

I nod in understanding, not knowing if I should leave or not. The Professor looks like he about to give me another one of his lectures about his class that I'm not really interested in hearing. "L-look, I unfortunately have to give you a zero for this assignment since I don't have any material with your name on it. However, I can assure you that you'll still pass this class easily. You ace every other assignment, and I'm more than certain you'll ace the final. I also give out extra credit on the final and the remaining exams."

I turn my body away and wipe my eyes again while sniffling, knowing that I look and sound disgusting. I also nod to make it seem like I listened to what he said. "I'm s-sorry Professor. I'll just g-go home."

"Miss Everett," Professor King shouts as I begin stomping up the stairs feeling even more upset than I did this morning, "I need you to understand that your grade isn't entirely indicative of your success! MISS EVERETT!"

The classroom door then closes completely behind me. I was able to tell that he left his desk and decided to follow me. I really don't want to talk to him. Like I said, I've already embarrassed myself enough, I don't need people watching me get talked to by the most intimidating Professor on campus. Rumors will end up spreading, and I'll end up not wanting to show my face at all if that occurs. So, I power walk to the Scaring School exit, not even taking in the beautiful sights of the portraits, statues, and other interior decorations that make the building so great. I'm able to easily pass by the remaining students left in the hallways, knowing that they look at me in surprise when they notice that tears are falling out of my eye sockets. The entrance door swings open and I'm met with a dark and cloudy day, with a noticeable smell of incoming rain hitting my nose. The rain isn't important though, so I begin descending the steps and decide that I don't even want to take anything home with me over the break, I just want to get on the bus and leave.

"Mel! I was wondering where you were. Why don't you and I go watch Javier and Chip do their last Scares before Spring Break?" I hear Johnny say at the bottom of the steps.

I'm so utterly distraught right now that I don't want him to see me like this, it will only make him realize quicker that I'm not tough, fearless, and scary like he is. I simply speed up and avoid any sort of contact with him.

"Mel? Mel!" Johnny shouts while reaching out the my arm. When he grasps onto it, I pull it out of his grip and speed up even more, unable to control my sobbing again.

"Mel, what happened, what's wrong?!" He asks seemingly desperately, keeping up with me without even trying.

I give him no answer and push him away. I'm so upset that of all the times that he's here for me it's during the time where he can't fix anything. I can feel him stop following me as I head towards the campus' entrance, knowing that I won't be happy for the rest of the semester, and maybe for the rest of my life.

Johnny's POV

There's an unbearable ache that's throbbing within my chest. Watching her walk away from me like that was one of the hardest things I've had to see in the past few years, and it hurts like hell to know that she doesn't want me to be around her right now. I want to fix what it is that's upset her, but I don't know what it is in the first place. I watch her as she cries and cries and cries, all the way until I can't even see her anymore. This is the first time that I've ever felt truly lost before. I don't know what it is that I should do, nor do I know how to make things feel like they did before for her. I'm at an eternal standstill, literally. Normally when I try to make people feel better, they feel comfortable enough to talk, but this is the first time I've been faced with this.

"Mr. Worthington!" I hear from behind me.

It's Professor King running down the Scaring School steps. "Where's Miss Everett? I just saw her walk out."

"Uh-I-She's gone," I stammer, "Did-did she do something bad Professor?"

"Not necessarily; It depends on what you consider to be bad. She claims to have finished the Scarer Essay we do in Scaring 102, but lost her laptop that it was on and couldn't turn it in. I have to give her a zero since I have no material from her, and she's thinking destructively," He sighs while putting his hand to his head and shaking it from side to side.

"Wh-you're giving her a zero on the essay?" I question with worry.

"I have to Mr. Worthington, it would be unfair to everyone else who turned something in. I tried my best to let her know that she can still pass the class but she didn't want to hear it. Look, it's hard for someone with such high expectations to come to terms with such upsetting results, so I need you to be there for her," Professor King states.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that at this point since I don't know where she's going and I have to focus on my Scaring right now as well. I'm basically going to be at Monsters Inc and Fear Co for entirety of Spring Break, so it's possible that I won't even be able to speak a single word to her in person. Melanie is also insisting that I shouldn't worry about her, and I want to trust that she's better than she's letting on.

"Is there really nothing else that she can do? Can she not have some sort of extension over the break or make it up in some other way?" I ask.

"No, you know that better than anyone that I don't pick favorites and neither do any of the other professors. Please tell her that I'm sorry, ok?" The Professor requests, "I know that she's going through a lot right now, and I never ever wanted to indirectly hurt her like that."

Ever since I met Melanie, I've known that she's her worst enemy. She thinks that she's not worthy of what she works for unless she achieves everything flawlessly. I wish she knew what she was capable of, but either way, I'll be there for her. I believe that she can be just as amazing of a Scarer as I am regardless of her grades. In fact, she's the only monster that I have ever known to make their grades become an insignificant measurement of who they are, and I think Professor King thinks the same thing.

"Don't worry, She'll be fine by the time school starts again. I've been meaning to talk to her anyways."