Lost In Purple

Chapter 57: Lost Hope

Melanie's POV

I hate riding the bus. All the people around me look like they're up to something and look at me like I'm their next victim. The men seem like they're planning something super sinister since they're constantly glancing at me every chance they get. All the same things happened when I took the bus home yesterday as I was crying my eyes out. It totally wasn't like I was emotionally distraught and deserved to not be gawked at or anything. It was a very uncomfortable afternoon and I wish that I could just never take the bus again, but I know that it'll probably be my only source of transportation based on how my life is going. So here I am on the bus again, riding to the diner that my Mom currently works at, looking out the window to see the not so beautiful environment down here in Cormeadow. Having lived at Monsters University for the past few months has made me realize how absolutely desolate the slums of Monstropolis are. My review of the colorful north only gets better with time and convinces me more that if I lived in a perfect world, I would move up there.

The bus moves slowly, bouncing up and down after the tires run over every possible pothole that the city refuses to repair. The rickety vehicle creaks with every movement, scaring me to the point where I become paranoid and believe that the bus while collapse, split in half, or somehow explode after a series of catastrophic events; I just don't feel safe, I never do. There's people talking with their phones on speaker, wanting everyone to hear their conversations for some reason. There's also some people reading various kinds of literature, trying to keep their attention away from everyone around them. I simply have to pretend that I'm not listening by looking out the window while daydreaming. I normally would like to listen to music but I don't have any headphones with me because I left in a hurry. Luckily I'm able to snap out of it at the bus stop nearest to the diner, glad that I started paying attention at the right time. I'm the only one who exits the bus at this point, not even saying thanks to the bus driver because he looks like the kind of person who would murder me if I talked to him. He's very unhygienic and narrows his eyes as he watches me move down the steps and onto the pavement.

After the bus closes it doors and skirts off down the road, I notice that the streets are empty, making me the only one walking around at this time of day. You would think that there would be many people lining the roads, or at least driving on them because it's Spring Break, but I think everyone's simultaneously agreed that this is a sketchy part of town and have decided to never show their faces outside. Even though I'm happy that nobody is around, it makes me think that I'm intentionally wanting something bad to happen, as if I have a death wish. There's a slight breeze that's whistling within the airwaves, bending around every building and reminding me of that Mankind Eternal movie I saw a little while ago. It's almost apocalyptic out here and I hate it. It's a whole other reason as to why I would rather stay indoors.

The walk is calm but uninteresting up until I finally reach the diner. It kind of has an old timey vibe, where the whole building is only one floor and is decorated with neon lights. The diner itself is somewhat small, having windows wrap around the building and showing the seats made of blue colored leather. The staff inside are all wearing those blue and white uniforms with checkered patterns, thematically making this place feel like it's traveled decades into the future. The place is packed full of families who are hungry for their breakfast or brunch, filled with smiling faces along with laughter. I miss those days where I could be that way with Mom and Dad. Work has really screwed over our family and overall happiness. I open the front door to be greeted by ringing bells and friendly hello by one of the staff members. I haven't gotten the pleasure to meet any of them so I would only really feel comfortable talking with my Mom.

"H-Hi, um, is it possible to be seated with Evelyn as my server?" I ask.

The host checks all of his documents before giving me an answer, moving his tentacles around in a gentle manner. "It's unfortunately a little busy today, so we don't have any tables or booths ready for you. However, we can put you in the counter seating with her. Not only is it an authentic bar experience, you can also talk to those sitting around you quite easily."

Oh thank god. That would have been awkward if I wasn't able to see her. Totally didn't spend money on a bus ticket for the sole purpose of seeing her or anything.

"That's fine, thank you," I respond.

I'm given directions on where to sit, and take seat at the counters right in front of the kitchen. It really does feel like a diner from the 50's since everything they do here is so old-fashioned. Even after looking at the menu, I can conclude that it's old fashioned. Their signature meals include basic looking Pancakes, French Toast, and various burgers that all seem extremely plain and unoriginal. It'll take me some time to figure out if I want anything like that or not.

"Ooooh if it isn't my beautiful little Melody!" Mom says excitedly before smooching my face without end. Even though she's not a Scarer, she sure does make me jump sometimes.

"M-Mom, Mom…Moooom!" I groan in embarrassment.

The other customers along the counter all stare at me as I'm assaulted with love, and all I can do is flail my arms around while blushing. Some of them roll their eyes, some chuckle and shake their heads, and some of them look at us in confusion. In the end, I have to rub my face and put my head in my hands when my Mom finally lets me breathe.

"If I knew you wanted to eat this morning I would have driven you here! I'm guessing you took the bus? that a very brave thing to do," Mom states with a motherly tone.

"I-I didn't want to at first, but…th-then I changed my mind," I mumble.

Mom claps at a super quick rate while jumping up and down little bit. "Well that's alright, you get to spend some of your day with me now! Yay, I'm so excited!"

I don't understand why this is the most exciting thing in the world when she would literally see me in a couple of hours after she gets off of work. Maybe it's just because it's been a while since she's gotten the chance to spend time with me...that and dad is never really home anymore. He's supposedly being required to stay until nine at night since things at Scream Industries are getting even crazier.

"What would you like? Pancakes? Ok pancakes it is, I'll make sure they're the best they can be," Mom states while writing down the order and sending it into the kitchen.

"B-but… I-I didn't…" I mumble out of confusion.

"Oh Mel, just sit back and relax. You're on Spring Break after all. Why don't you tell me about how you're doing? Oh, maybe throw in some details about Johnathan as well? I miss having him around you know, he's such a good boy! Have you two been having fun with those Scare Games of yours? Has he done anything fun with you recently?" She begins ranting, not letting me get a chance to speak.

I stutter profusely, never able to pronounce even the easiest of syllables as my body tenses up.

"What's wrong Melody? Your ears have lowered," Mom asks after shifting from a happy tone to a concerned one.

Would telling her everything make everything better? Would there be a chance that I could not feel lost anymore, drifting in a sea of monsters whose lives are exponentially more complex and luxurious than my own? Would there ever be an opportunity for us to change? Would telling her just be a burden? All these questions, but no answers. Although, it wouldn't be a good idea to hold onto these feelings for the next twenty years and hating my life in the process. After analyzing every possibility for everything that can go wrong, I finally decide what I want to do.

"…Y-you won't be mad at me…right?" I ask while looking down at the counter, trying to fight back the tears that I told myself I wouldn't shed.

"Why would I be mad at you? You know that I love you and that I would help you no matter what. Unless you killed someone, did very unspeakable things to others, or you're racist, of which I'm certain you're not," Mom replies.

"No…it's none of those. It's about school and, um, Johnny," I mumble in response, "I…uh…hate being a Scarer and I do-"

"What?! But you've loved Scaring ever since you were a kid!" Mom gasps.

"I-I know. I-I'm just," I say while feeling my eyes fill up with liquids, growing to the point where they spill out my sockets, "I'm not scary."

My voice falters and I try even harder to suppress what I'm experiencing. Its almost as if my entire life was a lie, that I was forced to believe that I could do whatever I wanted to, but I actually couldn't because I didn't have what it takes it the first place. From what I can assume, I probably can't do a majority of things in life since I'm not strong, outgoing, brave, or motivated. I'm not really that smart either. I don't even want to mention the fact that I most likely failed my Scaring 102 class and wasted thousands of dollars for nothing. I would probably fail any sort of college level/advanced science or math classes too. Same thing with anything related to computers or customer service. There's nothing that I can do to feel free.

"Everytime I'm told to scare… all I can think about is the moment when I'll eventually have to step onto a scare floor knowing that I'll never be what others think I am. Johnny and the rest of the RORs have been making it obvious that those who aren't scary, aren't welcome to be around them and I-I don't want to lose the only friends I ever had," I cry.

"Wait hold on, what's this about Johnny?" Mom asks.

I inhale sharply before explaining. "He's been intentionally humiliating monsters from a fraternity that aren't as scary as him. He drenched them in paint, flowers, glitter, and stuffed animals, then called them cute while c-claiming several times that they don't have what it takes to be worthy monsters within society. I'm not smart... I'm not strong... I'm not brave...He hates monsters who aren't like him Mom. He... hates m, but I don't think he knows that I'm not like him."

Mom reaches over to grab my hands. "Have you talked to him about this sweetie?"

I shake my head, knowing that I probably won't ever have the courage to say a single word about this to anyone else.

"Well, I think that would be the only option you have then. If he truly loves you, then he'll have to change and rethink how he sees others. If it so happens that it works out the way you think it will…then I don't believe it was meant to be. He wouldn't of been a good friend to have in the first place," Mom suggests.

This conversation sounds very familiar. I had the same lecture be given to me by Johnny himself when I realized that Faust wasn't someone that I could rely on. I guess that's how relationships work in this world. Meet someone, befriend them, get used by them in order to find a better place in this world, and toss them into the unforgiving society.

"But I don't want to," I whimper, "I don't want to lose another friend. I've already had to go through it twice…with my first boyfriend if you could even call him that and then Faust…I don't want to have to go back to being an outcast while also disappointing you and Dad."

"Melody I thought you knew that you could never disappoint us. I know for a fact that you won't ever be an outcast, at least in the real world. That high school of yours was an awful place with awful people, and it hurts to know that that was the only palce we could afford to put you in. I can assure you that nothing like that will happen again," Mom states.

I wipe my eyes while shaking my head in disagreement. "Nothing's any different at MU Mom, everyone's out to be the most popular, famous, and well-known Scarer known to monster-kind. Meanwhile, I'm lagging behind, being misunderstood and trying to figure out if I even have a place within society."

Mom has to walk around the counter to give me hug. I don't have a reason to hug her back since I'm in absolute mental turmoil right now. Regardless of whether she's just trying to calm me down or make me rethink everything I just said, I know she's trying her best to sympathize with me.

"I'm lost Mom," I sniffle, "And I'm afraid of where I'm going to end up."

I feel Mom give me a kiss on the side of my head before it's placed against her chest. She lays her head on top of my own, and slowly sways back and forth as I hold back any kind of incoming sobs. "I felt the same way when I was your age, but you have your father and I. Wherever you go, we'll follow you. We won't leave you for any reason," She consoles.

I finally reciprocate the embrace, hugging her as tightly as I can, feeling like a little kid again. It reminds me of the times when there were terrifying thunderstorms during the summers and I would run to either my Mom or Dad in hopes of escaping them. Even when they tried their hardest to make me feel safe again, it never truly happened. That seems like a very fitting analogy to life in general. Mom eventually lets go, turning towards the serving rack and picking up a plate full of pancakes with a few strips of bacon and hash browns. "Now take a few deep breaths Melody, I'm not going to let you leave this building until you finish eating everything on your plate. Keeping all of those emotions to yourself must have made you hungry."

She sets the plate down as I clean the salty liquids from my eyes, realizing that I am pretty hungry now. I lethargically swipe a fork and knife off the table, immediately going for the pancakes and scarfing them down as if my life depended on it. They're infinitely worse than the ones that Mom makes from scratch but at least they're edible. I notice that my Mom also leaves me to myself for a little bit to go check on her tables, acting like I've said nothing to worry her. Deep down, I know she's worried, and I feel awful that I caused that. After a couple more small bites of food, I feel two hands get placed upon my shoulders. When I look back, I find my Mom looking down at me with a smile. "Is it alright? More syrup maybe? I know you like your pancakes drenched in sugar."

"…Yes please," I mumble while nodding.

I watch as she grabs another small bottle of syrup and slides onto the counter for me to pour. She takes her finger and moves my mane a little bit away from my eyes, exposing my sudden ugliness to the world. She watches me swallow each bit of bread, ensuring that I'm following her orders. I stuff my mouth full of more food in hopes that it will make me feel better and it does a little bit. The blandness of the pancakes isn't any sort of anti-depressant, but it's starting to make me feel a tad more full than before.

My Mom's phone then vibrates within her old timey uniform, causing her to dig it out and answering it within a second flat. "This is Evelyn."

She looks around the diner, observing all the tables she's been serving in order to ensure that they don't need anything else. Her smile shines radiantly for everyone to see…but it disappears and changes into genuine concern. It would be an understatement saying that she went a little pale, because in actuality her vibrant red scales turn into a pastel red. This can only mean that something bad has happened on top of all the other dreadful things that I've gone through.

"W-what happened to Juno?"

Authors Note:

Hey friends, I'm going to be taking another break here for a little bit. The new semester just started for me, and I want to focus a little bit on my Neurobiology and Biogeography classes until I feel a bit more comfortable writing again. Thanks for sticking with me, I'll be back soon.

-Lupinelectro