Lost In Purple

Chapter 63: Found By Gold

Johnny's POV

The ringing in my ears causes me to panic and the pain that's pounding within my skull is unbearable. The pillow my head rests on isn't very comfortable, neither is the bed I lay in; It makes my back ache after every second I continue to breathe. It's funny, I remember my bed being more comfortable than the clouds in the sky, but now it feels like a thin sheet of metal that causes sores within just a few minutes. Damn it, that's annoying! I open my eyes and find myself within a tiny room, resting in a bed that I'm nearly falling out of. The bed is rickety and looks like it about to fall apart. Where am I? What did I do? I can't remember anything now... did something bad happen? I listen closely to the walls encompassing me, hearing not a single creak or crack come from outside them. There's no voices either, and I begin to wonder if I've somehow snuck into some random persons house by accident. This room does seem pretty small for a house though.

I slowly move my body out of the bed and sneak over to the only exit the room has. Twisting the doorknob, I push the door open and peek out into the other small room that has a regal looking couch with golden patterns on it, matching sets of rugs all along the ground, and large art pieces that line the walls. There's a fairly big flat screen TV that's mounted on the wall, and right next to it is an occupied desk that has quite a computer monitor on top of it. The monster looking at the screen is none other than Professor King, sitting down with immaculate posture. I've somehow made it into his personal dwellings.

"I would suggest taking a seat Mr. Worthington. You've caused quite the amount of trouble lately, so if you were smart, you would have a talk with me," He states calmly.

I…I didn't even make a sound. The door didn't even creak when I opened it. How did he know I was awake?

"Don't make me repeat myself Mr. Worthington," He interrupts my thinking.

"Y-yes sir," I stutter, terrified about the pep talk I'm going to receive.

The short walk to the expensive looking couch is tense, so tense that my legs are on the verge of shaking. I'm about to get the scolding of a life time aren't I? When I stand in front of the couch, I quickly pop a squat, refraining from making eye contact with the Professor.

"So…out of nowhere you've decided to stop attending class, and follow that up by lashing out on your Dad, running away from campus without anyone knowing, getting extremely drunk for three days straight, and causing everyone to worry to the point where they file a missing monsters report... I can tell that you know what you did considering that you're trying really hard not to look at me," Professor King states.

An immense wave of shame overwhelms my being, and now instead of trying not to look a him, I simply cannot look a him no matter what I do. I'll only see true superiority staring back at me while I succumb to a decaying sense of inferiority. The butterflies in my stomach run rampant as I feel my face become blazing hot. He turns his body to me, crossing his arms and legs just like my father did to me whenever I did something questionable as a kid…Nothings even changed after these past four years have they?

"Mr. Worthington, after having worked with many suffering people over the years, including Scarers and Scaring Assistants alike, I can safely say that after quietly observing you from the sidelines this past year that this is a point in your life where therapy is good idea," Professor King suggests, "The way you've negatively talked about… everything over the years, makes me believe that you are putting on a mask and pretending to be alright. The way you've lost much of your initial interest in Scaring, the way you've talked about your parents and friends, how you've recently found yourself deciding to do some very illegal things on private property, and how you've treated people very poorly over the years…this isn't the Johnny that I met four years ago."

No connections are made in my brain, all I can do is stare into nothingness. People always say that you know yourself better than anyone else, but I don't think that can be applied to me. Do I really know who I am? Am I really meant to be like my father, my grandfather, and those who came before? Am I actually happy?

"An identity crisis is a very serious thing, especially for someone like you who's been hanging onto your dreams by a thread, and I can tell that your thread has broken. So again, I am desperately telling you to stop living your life in order to meet others expectations…I'll leave you to think about that. Since it seems like you don't want to talk, I will just take you home. I promised your mother that once you woke up that I would bring you there so you can talk with her," The Professor states.

"M-my mother?" I ask nervously.

Professor King sighs as he stands up and prepares himself. "Like I said, you have caused a lot of trouble. Your family were the ones who filed the missing monsters report, so naturally, your entire family knows and is awaiting your safe return to normality. It's obvious that you've been silently suffering this past year, I will tell you now that home is the best place to be and not school."

Professor King begins hurrying me. He doubles checks my ability to walk before he pushes me out of the apartment that I assume is his, and we're out in a very narrow hallways that somehow make me feel a little claustrophobic. The end of the hallway has a wall that entirely made of thick glass, showing me that I'm within some sort of skyscraper. The night is exceptionally dark, but the light within the other skyscrapers create a mesmerizing glow outside. The Professors' apartment must be in the center of Monstropolis, which is somewhere I wouldn't have imagined he would live. Someone like him should be living in a mansion out in the middle of nowhere where nobody could possibly bother him. These apartments are not pretty or spacious at all and it makes me wonder about his financial situation.

I have no time to ask him about his situation though. He forces me into the elevator and we fly all the way down to the ground floor before exiting and hopping into a normal looking black SUV. The moment I get into his car, we're already driving through the city, which reminds me of all the times my eyes would widen in awe as a kid when I was driven through the crowded streets. The entire drive is silent, all the way until we reach Thornberry, the place where Javier and I grew up. We pass by many nostalgia-inducing places, places that I haven't been to in decades. The many shopping centers I frequented as a rebellious teenager specifically catches my eye. All those delightful fir and willow trees that line the streets, and the small rock gardens and fields of flowers that are placed in the middle of the sidewalks makes me feel at home. We even pass by many houses that used to be owned by some of my elementary, middle, and high school classmates. I'm sure they're all living the lives they've always wanted to, happy with how they've turned out.

The Professor finally takes me into the neighborhood of my parents house. The oak trees, birch trees, linden trees and maple trees of many colors sway calmly in the night around the house. It's a sanctuary that people would kill to live in, but for me it was a hell that I was begging to escape. All of those classmates that I mentioned earlier, I was never able to befriend them. They were all conditioned into being afraid of me since they were born, to never make me upset unless they wanted to experience grand consequences from my father. I could never leave the neighborhood for any reason, and study relentlessly to fulfill my parents wishes for me to become a Scarer. I couldn't ever play sports…the list goes on.

Before I know it, Professor King has already gotten past the gate to my parents driveway and parked at the front of the mansion. The driveway acts like a roundabout, holding a grand three leveled fountain that's surrounded by purple and pink roses. The building is made of several dark shades of stone ranging from white all the way to black, and has large windows that are symmetrically placed ever few meters, looking into many rooms that are filled with items that the average family could only dream of getting. The sides of the house stick out and wrap around the driveway, and the entirety of the abode is decorated with several topiary gardens, and various bushes. There's also a white trim that lines the roof and several chimneys that stick out into the sky. The horizon shows many other places within the Monstropolis area lighting up the night as if it were some sort of summer nights light show.

"Come on," Professor King guides.

I look over to him with uncertainty. I can only see my mother's face now, all scrunched up out of anger, which is something that I told myself that I would never ever want to see again. I'm just tired of seeing that. I'm just…tired of being me, you know…tired of being the cause of all this pain and frustration.

"Mr. Worthington, let's go. Out of the car," The Professors hastens.

I follow his orders and plant my feet firmly onto the cement before shutting the door. The air is fresh and crisp around here, the crickets echo for miles, and the sound of wind blowing through the trees is almost deafening to me. I can already hear the burning of all the life around me like in those dreams I've been having recently. The Professor and I strut up the stairs, and I can sense my anxiety building. The flood gates that house my tears are starting to crack, and I can feel an ache begin building just below my sternum. I'm…scared. For the first time in my life I feel like I won't be able to get through another day. The doorbell is instantly rung, and now there's no going back.

"P-Professor?" I gulp.

"Hmm?" He replies emotionlessly.

I open my mouth but no words can leave my mouth, so I try again. "I-I can't…do this."

"And why not?" He responds.

"Be…because…," I mutter.

The front door suddenly swings open, blasting my eyes with white radiance as the figure who stands in front of us is drowned in it. My eyes are slow to adjust, and the blurry image turns into a clear one, one that I haven't seen in about four years.

"Oh," The figure was in a relieving and loving manner, "Jonathan I'm so glad you're alright."

It's my mother. Her catlike appearance is so intimidatingly regal to the point where I still don't know if I'm entirely comfortable being around her. I've always been afraid of messing up around her because she was always perfect…in everything she does. She has strikingly beautiful blue eyes, short whiskers, dark blue fur that is fluffy enough around her neck that it seems like she's wearing some exotic animal pelt around her neck. She's also wearing a white boutique dress that looks stunning on her.

"Thank you so much Mr. King, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for doing this for us," My mother says with more relief, grabbing his hands and holding them as if they were the most precious things in the world.

"Trust me, you don't have to. I'm simply making sure that your son doesn't stray down a path he shouldn't be going down," Professor King says humbly.

My mother starts to pull him lightly into the house. "Regardless, I'm so happy that your looking after him. I'm Shirley, I couldn't be happier to finally meet you. Please, come inside. We've heard so much about you and would love to treat you to some dinner or tea or whatever you would like."

This is one of the first times I've ever seen him caught off guard, but he composes himself almost immediately. I don't think he was expecting to be welcomed into such a prestigious estate so quickly. "Uh sure. Tea would be nice," He smiles.

"Just take a left at the staircase and take a seat with everyone else, I'll get some for you in a minute," My mother directs after letting go of his hands.

Professor King takes the opportunity to enter my childhood home, disappearing into the maze that it is, leaving me all alone on the doorsteps of the manifested hell that I thought I officially left behind. I never thought that I would have to deal with my childhood trauma by myself, and I can't figure out what to do next. I'm a living statue that's glaring into the void, thinking about how I'll get past all of this.

"Jonathan," My mother says snapping me out of the trance I put myself under. She spends a couple seconds observing me, ending up at my face. She puts her hands on my cheeks while looking at me with eyes filled with multiple emotions. Happiness and sadness, proudness and regret. "I never thought I would see the day when you'd be all grown up."

I'm not grown up though. I'm still that small, insignificant boy who can only hide his past, running away from it like my life depends on it. In a way, my life does depend on it because it's what decides whether I'll be happy or not for the rest of my life.

"These four years away from each other have been a little rough haven't they?" She asks.

I don't want to talk about this with her. The root of the conversation is about me and my failures. We never would have even said a word to each other if the past year meant nothing to me. "Mom, can I just…go back home?"

"Wh-…Jonathan you are home, and we're all worried about you, you've never done something like this before," My mother whines.

Is that actually the reason? Or are they all worried about me ruining their image like the many times before? Even if that's true or not, I couldn't possibly call this my home. It was a prison and I was to abide by the fascist rules set by everyone else. I sigh in partial frustration and sadness. "Mom, I can assure you that the place you think I was supposed to feel safe in was never truly there at all. There's a reason why none of you have seen me after all this time, and if I lived in a perfect world, I would keep it that way," I reply.

Her head hangs down, saddened by what I've said. It's true though, my life before college was nothing but a nightmare, and I can tell that's she's trying to force me back into that life.

"I…I understand. I'm sorry that I've never been there for you, even now. If you're really not comfortable being here, then you don't have to stay, but I would like it if you could tell us all what's going on. I just want to know that you'll be alright before…" She whimpers, "Before I let you go."

Her eyes start watering, confirming that I really am the villain of everything. I've been a thorn in everyone's side. Melanie's, the Oozma Kappa guys, my parents… I've grown up to become the person that I never wanted to be: my father. Someone that thinks he's better than everyone else, alienating those who are different from me, manipulating others into becoming something I want them to be, and pushing them away so that they never see the manifestation that's overtaken my body, turning me into a heartless asshole.

"I-I'm sorry Mom. I didn't mean it, I swear," I state while feeling my eyes beginning to water as well, "I just don't know who I am anymore…I'm lost."