Lost In Purple

Chapter 64: Purple Parallels (Part 1)

Johnny's POV

My mother wipes the tears from her eyes, trying her best to keep her regal composure. This is the first time I've felt like I actually got to know her, how she's felt about me, and how she's felt about her life in general. Seeing me like this must make her feel the exact same way. "Please don't cry, Jonathan, I get it. I went through the same thing as you after you were born."

"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask, getting choked up.

"I know that you've been angry with me because I was always too busy to spend time with you, leaving you with many caregivers when you were a kid, and never being there during holidays while everyone else in the Monster World had a family they would never give up. B-but I started my fashion business and could never see you because I wasn't happy after setting the record for most screams in a single shift at Monsters Inc before you were born. I didn't know who I was anymore, my dream wasn't fulfilling anymore. I've been trying to find that same feeling in the fashion business, but I haven't found it yet, and I'll probably be selling the brand pretty soon. I knew I wasn't finding it when you were a kid, but I thought that if I did it, I could give you anything you ever wanted. If you wanted to become a musician or athlete or even an entrepreneur, I would fund that for you. Then there was that one day you told your father and I that you wanted to become a Scarer, and I told myself that I would make you happy no matter what. That's when I realized that my new dream was fulfilling yours…but now you're doing all these things that are showing me that you're not happy and I don't know what to do," My mother elucidates.

After all these years of thinking she didn't care about me, after all the times I've been upset about how she left me to myself, she's actually been right beside me this whole time. All of the doubts I had were in vain because there's was never truly a reason to have them in the first place. She sniffles a little before continuing. "I know that never being there for you isn't something a good mother would do, but I never wanted you to go through what I had to. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel like you're not lost Jonathan, even if it means never seeing you again."

My instincts kick in, and I pull her in for the biggest hug I've ever given her, one that would likely leave many other monsters gasping for air. She reciprocates a hug that only I could remember from my childhood. The few times where she made me feel safe after experiencing something scary, or simply making me feel like the most important monster in the world whenever I was upset... I hate myself for not being there for her, when she was there for me. She was the only one that cared for how I felt when I was growing up, which means the world to me, and here I was letting our relationship almost crumble with how I've been acting. "Mom…I don't want to leave you. You're the only one left who cares," I sigh.

Her soft embrace tightens a little bit which is followed by a couple more sniffles. "I'm glad."

We hug in the doorway for what feels like an eternity. The silence doesn't make me feel anxious anymore, as if some sort of force cut through the rock-solid hatred I've developed for this place. My mother takes the time to let me go and grab my hand, smiling comfortingly like she did when I was a kid. "I know it's nerve wracking Jonathan, but please, tell us everything that's happened. I don't want you to suffer anymore."

The small bit of happiness that I felt dissipates entirely. Even though I know someone will be there for me, I know that I'm going to have to talk about Melanie, and her situation involving her family. I'm also going to have to explain to my father and grandfather how I'm not meeting their expectations as a Scarer which will be an earful. My mother pulls me into the house, closing the grand door behind me, and has me follow her into the living room that's to the left of the staircase. Everything is still the same as it was four years ago. There's a large fireplace made of round stones that lights up the room along with several glass chandeliers hanging down from the ceiling that's 20 feet above me. The dark hardwood floors make the place seem like it's a cabin within the deeper parts of a mountain range, housing several creams colored sofas and a large white coffee table. There's a large wooden television stand built into the wall that's opposite of the fireplace, housing an 80 inch flat screen TV mounted to the wall, and is a nice change of decoration after noticing the many pricey paintings and portraits along the wall. My mother has also placed a variety of flowers and fake trees around the house that bring about a natural feel to the atmosphere.

I turn my attention away from the objects in the living room and notice my grandfather and Professor King quietly conversing on the far right couches while my father sits on the couch to the left of them, probably silently seething that he has to be here instead of work.

"Ah, there's the trouble maker. You had better have a good explanation as to why you've caused all of this chaos and forced me away from my job," My father growls.

What a surprise. It's almost like I know how much of a nightmare he is in the personality department. Professor King and my grandfather jerk to my father and look as if they're about to snarl at him. "Is that really what you have to say to your son John?" My grandfather spouts.

My grandfather has yellow fur that's slowly turning white and looks almost like a carbon copy of my father and I, he however, is quadrupedal and can't walk on his hinds legs like us which is the sole reason I have the ability to change stances. His horns also curve down instead of up, and has several other horns that line the entirety of his head and jawline. It's also worth mentioning that he's stronger, smarter, and astronomically more massive than the both of us. He hops off the couch and crawls towards me with the fatherly smile he always gave me when I was little. "Go sit next to your Professor, your mother and I will grab some tea for us all." He then gestures for me to lean down, of which I do without thought. "And don't worry about your father, if he does something disrespectful, I will take care of it."

My mother and grandfather head into the kitchen, leaving me with Professor King who's observing every little detail of the house. My father stares at me in an obvious rage, attempting to have me toughen up and act like there's nothing wrong in the first place. I follow my grandfathers directions and take a seat next to Professor King. "Professor? Do you know my grandfather or something?" I awkwardly whisper.

"No. I think he knows who I am though, he seemed to know many things about me and the things I've done in the Scaring profession. I figured it would ease the tension if I got to know him in return," Professor King replies.

I say, "Oh" before we all sit in more silence. Once my mother and grandfather return, they pass us all a cup of tea which smells like chamomile. I'm guessing they want the conversation to remain calm considering that chamomile tea has sedative effects. I don't think that's going to happen with my father around though. I'm not really thirsty or craving tea either so I just place it on the coffee table.

"Alright Johnny boy, tell us, what's caused you to snap?" My grandfather asks after sitting upright next to my mother on the other couch.

Is it a good idea to tell the truth? Should I lie and say that I simply had too much to drink, and didn't think about what I was doing? That might not be plausible since that excuse is used an overwhelming amount by everyone everywhere. Professor King takes a sip of the chamomile tea while nudging my side. "Speak Mr. Worthington."

I exhale painfully, deciding that it's time for me to lay everything out to dissect; No more hiding things. "There's, uh…several things."

"Oh please, what's the point of even giving him a chance to speak? We all know he's simply being rebellious and thinks having fun has a priority over his pride and future," My father chimes in.

Professor King shifts his body out of anger. "Mr. Worthington, is now seriously the time to start acting like a child begging for attention?"

"Excuse me?" My father counters with a furrowed brow. He sets down his tea and leans forward, and taking a stand as if he's about to violently act upon this rebuttal.

My grandfather has to intervene before anything happens by snapping to get his attention and pointing down as if he were a house pet. It kind of ironic since my grandfather looks the closest to a house pet because of his quadrupedal composure. "I asked my grandson what happened, not you! Sit down before I send that brazen attitude of yours back where it came from!"

My father remains angry but refrains from disobeying my grandfather. He's right to do so, I remember getting disciplined by him one time when I was six years old, and lets just say that he's the whole reason that I rarely acted out up until now. His booming voice and overwhelming strength left an impact on me, so much that I can remember the whiplash I got all those years ago. When my father sits down he crosses his arms and legs, clearly in disbelief that someone would talk to him in that way.

"I'll ask again. Why do I have to start worrying about you Jonathan?" My grandfather reiterates.

"…I broke up with my girlfriend," I sigh. The memories that have unfortunately turned painful start flooding in.

My mother nearly spits out the sip of tea she just took. Once she swallows, she slams her cup on the coffee table and looks as if she's about to cry again. "You had a girlfriend?! Why wasn't I ever told this?! Oh Jonathan I'm so sorry!"

She has to lunge over to me, smashing my head into her as if I was still that tiny child she remembers.

"What do you mean girlfriend? Does this mean you and Helga hit it off pretty well?" My father asks.

"No…I hated her. She couldn't have been a worse candidate for me," I wince. I'm expecting some sort of explosive reaction to this news. My father blindly insisted that she was 'good for our heritage' and all, but I don't see how an obsessive glob of nothingness would ever 'strengthen our legacy.'

"What?!" He screams, proving me correct, "So you've been dating some random girl off the street again, not even thinking about our bloodline?!"

"If I may ask, who's this Helga?" Professor King questions while raising one of his eyebrows, trying his best to ignore my father.

"…Another scaring student that is too scared to take your classes. She's also someone that partially ruined my chances with Melanie," I reply.

My father growls, infuriated that everything he's realized is true. "Who is Melan-"

"Son, shut up! I will not tell you again that I asked your son about this, not you!" My grandfather interrupts, "Please, continue Jonathan. Tell us everything from the beginning."

I hesitate, looking at Professor King, seeing that he's gone into therapy mode, ready to pick apart every detail I give after placing his fist over his mouth. I then look at my mother. She sits on the couch gracefully, intrigued about everything that's happened to me and clearly upset that she never got to meet Melanie...or any of the other girlfriends I've had over the years. This is the moment where I confess everything. There's a chance that my life could turn around for better or worse, and that chance where it could get better is greater than never talking…What do I have to lose? The last thing I ever wanted was Melanie and she's gone. What is there to lose? Nothing, so I finally open the floodgates and reveal exactly how I feel. "…I met Melanie at the start of the semester during the rush week party. I'm sure you all know that I'm insufferable and heartless because I've had several love interests but broke up with them after a few weeks. She wasn't supposed to be anything more than another fling but after learning more about her, what her dream was, who her favorite Scarers were, how she treats people, how she grew up…everything…I couldn't stop being annoyed with how she didn't find interest in me like everyone else. She was, and still is, perfect in every imaginable way, and I was lucky enough to convince her that I was perfect for her too…even if it was just for a few months."

The living room remains quiet. My grandfather and mother listen intently, knowing that I've still got so much to explain while my father stares off into space, not caring about anything I have to say. The disconsolate reiteration of my story continues as I glare at the floor. "After somehow succeeding in getting her to feel the same way, I…uh, took her to the Fall Formal that I go to every year and we made it official. We passed our exams and I ended up spending that large amount of time with her over Christmas Break, meeting her amazing family and... spending as much time with her as I could before I got too busy to even see her due to the Scare Games. Now that I look back at it, it didn't really matter… I became obsessed with being the best and starting harassing another fraternity because they aren't as skillfully inclined as I am. I was also pushing her too hard to be someone she's not, and that Helga girl was getting in the way and…here we are."

"Oh Jonathan," My mother chokes up, "I am so sorry. I can only imagine the amount of pain you've gone through these past few days."

A scoff blares throughout the room. "Ugh, give it a rest Shirley, it was for the better anyways. This girl clearly doesn't appreciate Jonathan's existence and threw him to the curb. The fact that she even dared to do that only proves that she isn't the slightest bit civilized or understanding. This is why I decided it would be best to set him up with someone, so that he didn't become afflicted with all this pain."

"JONATHAN WORTHINGTON THE SECOND!" My mother screams after slamming her cup of tea on the coffee table and standing up in the most aggressive manner.

My father's eyes shoot wide along with mine. My grandfather also looks somewhat terrified. I've never heard my mother raise her voice to such a high decibel, nor have I ever seen her angry in general. Her voice sent rumbles through my ribcage and even caused a whole bunch of my muscles to tense up accidentally.

"YOU'VE BEEN ARRANGING UNWANTED RELATIONSHIPS FOR YOUR SON?! WHAT ARE WE, THE ROYAL FAMILY OF ANCIENT WESSEX?" My mother inquires furiously.

My father's worried looks turn back into anger. "Why are you surprised by this? You should know that our family only marries those with utmost Scaring prestige in their blood. For all we know she could just be some floozy wannabe that's trying to dig into our pockets. We also don't know if this 'Melanie' is even mammalian. In case you forgot, monsters with mammalian blood can't have children with reptilians. If Jonathan can't have children, then what's the point of him being in a relationship anyways?"

"...Seems like someone didn't take biology seriously...," Professor King smirks.

My father takes a couple steps forwards, puffing his chest out to the Professor. "It's beginning to seem like you have a problem with me. If that's the case, I kindly ask that you leave as I will not accept this ridicule coming from a nobody like you."

There's never been someone who has been able to remain calm when my father confronts them like that, but Professor King happens to be the first. He doesn't have any sign of terror that's being outwardly shown; No erratic behaviors, and no increased breathing rate. At this point I wouldn't be astonished if his heart rate hasn't changed either. If anything, this encounter has only made him more serious and calmer than ever. "As a nobody who actually hates seeing another's basic right to live freely be taken away by someone so dense, I'm not going to do that. In fact, it seems like you're the one who has a problem with me. You hate how I'm interfering in the creation of an abusive relationship between you and your son. You're upset that you're not getting your way because I'm here attesting your views, of which I'm about to do again. You do not speak for your son in any way shape or form, you clearly don't understand the basic rules of monster biology in that monsters with mammalian ancestry actually can have children with reptilian monsters but it's really rare, so your claims about who is a good or bad candidate for your son are straight up false. The way you treat your family is pathetic and almost bordering on criminal, and forced marriage is actually a Class D felony almost worldwide which can land you 10 years behind bars. To top it all off, a smart person like me would never resort to intimidation tactics or violence to come out on top, of which you are doing. Now why don't you sit down and be quiet like your father told you twice already."

My father growls to himself while he clenches his fists together. He exhales sharply before closing his eyes and sitting back down on the couch as if he's been calm and composed this whole time. He knows he's been defeated, and by words nonetheless. He's just some big, dumb jock that can't take criticism at face value in order to better himself, which must have rubbed off onto me. Although, I'm just happy that I might finally be able to confess everything without interrupting.

"N-none of you… knew about this?" I chime in before looking at my father in complete dismay. He looks as if he's confessed something he wasn't supposed to which gives me bursts of rage, sorrow, and devastation.

"No! None of us have!" My mother replies, baffled by what she's just heard.

"So your father has been manipulating you, forcing you do things for his own benefits to be precise," Professor King says while staring into my fathers terrified eyes, "How rich. What else has he been doing?"

"…He's been telling me that if I didn't start taking my scaring seriously, by being the best no matter what and dating who he wanted me to, he would make it so that I wouldn't ever get a job at Fear Co or Monsters Incorporated. I would, um, supposedly lose all of the inheritance you've promised me, Mom," I answer hesitantly.

Professor King closes his eyes with furrowed brows, my mothers jaw drops with furrowed brows, and my grandfather turns his head to look at my father with furrowed brows. …My family was never the issue. All of those rules, those legacies and values that I've been taught to uphold…they were never there to begin with. They were just guidelines for my father to use in order to turn me into an arrogant, selfish, vain monster that would keep our family relevant in the eyes of the public. All of these years of suffering, created by one man who's controlled by a lust for power and greed, could have never happened if I had just said something. Professor King stands up and proceeds to look around the house like he has been. He strolls upon a framed picture of my family, one where I was twelve years old, standing in front of my father. I remember that day, it was one of his last full time shifts at Monsters Incorporated, and I couldn't have been more proud of him as he left the scare floor as one of the top Scarers. He wasn't so obsessed with legacy and money and 'being the best' back then. Again, I just wish everything could go back to the way they were, back to the days when he was simply having fun and enjoying being who he wanted to be…I guess I just want to be like that, enjoying who I am.

My eyes begin stinging and tears try to peek out from behind them, making my mother notice. "No no no, don't cry Jonathan. No more keeping secrets, just tell us about everything that's hurting you."

What's hurting me…? Everything. Every sniffle that I make only makes it harder to say it out loud, proving to me that it's increasingly less worth it to even say it in the first place. But, my words finally burst out as if I've said it millions of times before. "I…I thought you all hated me. Leaving you, not speaking to you after all these years…never reaching the expectations you've had for me. I don't think anyone's ever felt the kind of suffocation I've been going through."

My mother shuffles over to me, taking my hand and squeezing it when my tears make my sight blurry.

"All these people around me…they've gotten better…while I just stay in place. I've been told that I shouldn't let them be better than me...but I don't know how to become better…I don't know how to be like you, Mom. I don't know how to become like grandpa either…I just have to sit there and watch as everyone else becomes these amazing people while I'm constantly struggling to figure out if I'm even capable of living up to the family name. Everyone is inching closer to outdoing me and I can't stand knowing that if they do, then I'll be nothing but a whisper in the wind. I hated it so much that when a group of other students were doing things that I could never dream of, I publicly humiliated them…to keep them from becoming the kinds of monsters they wanted to be. I…I sacrificed their happiness for my own because I don't know how else I can be like you all."

The words stop coming out and I have to bask in their silence before I take a deep breath. "I hate myself for everything I've ever done. Making enemies with old friends distancing myself from them, manipulating people into thinking that they should look up to me as if they're inferior to me, attacking those who challenged my position as the best, and hurting those who didn't do anything wrong in the first place."

"You've hurt innocent people?" My grandfather asks.

"Yeah," I squeak, "There's been many monsters who's lives I've ruined by trying to be the best, but the one that I hurt the most was Melanie's life because I never told her the truth. I just kept everything a secret because I didn't know what else to do. When Dad told me that he wouldn't get me a job at the scare factories if I didn't win the Scare Games or get rid of my girlfriend, it felt like my whole purpose in life disappeared. I thought that if I never told her, then I could still keep a hold of my future while also still feeling…happy and stress-free for once. But when this new group in the Scare Games proved to be miles better than me, I ignored her so that I could keep a hold of my personal glory. She started having doubts about her Scaring abilities, and made it clear that she didn't even want to be a Scarer anymore because of how I've treated others. I also made her feel like her best wasn't enough for me. I made her think that if she didn't meet my expectations, I would throw her away like I have everyone else."

"You weren't trying to focus on her?" My grandfather questions.

I shake my head. "No…because nothing was more important than keeping Dad happy. What would I do if I couldn't apply at the two scare factories that are actually competent? How would I cope with knowing that everything I've worked towards my whole life wasn't possible to reach anymore?"

"Well what about your girlfriend?" My mother asks, "You apologized right?"

I shake my head once more, feeling more tears flood out. "No…I switched the narrative and made her seem like she's the one in the wrong. She has many issues of her own. Her father, even though he works as a human door mechanic, can't make any good money so she's dirt poor, she's extremely introverted, and is never able to become the person she wishes to be." A sob escapes from my mouth and I can't hold onto the toughness I've developed over the years. "And I just told her that she's an awful person for not being able to change who she is…even though that's what I'm going through."

There's more silence between my family members. Even my father is sitting there looking concerned, which is something I never thought I would see.

"After all I've done, I thought it would just be better to drink until the pain goes away. The pain of knowing that I'm an absolutely horrible person…a hypocritical person…it's unbearable," I cry, "because I don't know how to be someone I'm not."

My mother reaches up to my eyes and wipes them for me. She falls into me before wrapping her arms around my head while the other three remain silent.

"How…dare…you," My grandfather growls, breaking the silence and looking at my father, "How dare you treat my grandson like a slave, a puppet that means nothing to you. I could have sworn that I had raised you to think that our legacy is built upon our undying determination of inspiring and helping the next generation of monsters. We were the family to push the boundaries, change the world for the better, and remain faithful in the philosophy of being honest, compassionate, and fair to all of those around us; To make people unafraid of the human world. You've turned Johnny into someone who can't even be proud of what he does, and that not only hurts him, but me, and everyone who has had the pleasure to be a part of this family. I would have never of predicted that you would be nothing but an abusive and conceited disappointment. I can only imagine what your mother and even what your grandfather would have thought about this. You've proven to us that you are no Worthington."

My father looks as if his whole world imploded on itself. His role model just ousted him as someone who isn't even worthy of anything for any reason. It's as if his whole identity just crumbled and there's no way to get it back. My father slumps slightly down on the couch, looking over to my mother who can't keep herself from comforting me. I don't know how he all of a sudden understands that he's in the wrong, but either way, I couldn't care less about him after never caring about me. This exact situation can be said for me and Melanie though…after everything I've done, why would Melanie care about how I feel?

"I'm guessing your girlfriend doesn't know about how you feel either?" My mother asks.

I wish they would just move in to another topic since I'm feeling beyond existential right now, but I'm not going to suffer the wrath of my mother while suffering the wrath of grief. "No. I haven't talked to her since we broke up. From what I know, her grandfather is about to die after a severe stroke, her father had a heart attack, and one of her cousins is about to enter Stage 4 Leukemia, so it's probably for the best that she just moves on anyways. She'll need the time away from me in order to pay for all those hospital bills."

"Oh...the poor baby...But you love her more than anything in the world don't you?" My mother counters.

"I do," I painfully sigh, "but she has other things to worry about. I'm not important enough to her anymore and at this point, I don't think I'm important enough either. I've learned when I should let go of things, so I know that this is where I should let go of her."

"Don't you dare say that," My grandfather growls, jumping down from the couch and lunging towards me, "You've shaped and built a life that is more important than you could ever dream of."

"Grandpa, stop telling me what I am and what I am not. I know I'm nothing to Dad, so how could I be anything more to you or anyone else for that matter?" I refute.

My grandfather leans back slightly with determination in his eyes. "You said her name was Melanie correct?"

I sigh, wishing that he wasn't so old and that he could just hear me correctly the first couple of times. "Yes."

"And you said that her father works as a door mechanic?" My grandfather continues asking.

"Yeees, so what?" I groan.

He leans towards me with a small whisper. "She's part of the Everett family isn't she?"

Taken aback, I focus more intently on my grandfather, afraid of what's he's about to say next. What else does he know? Who else does he know? "Ye-yeah…how did you know that?" I inquire while still feeling some tears roll down my face.

My grandfather looks to the right, down the dark empty hallway that leads to an empty entertainment room and where the door to the basement is located. "Stay here. I think it's time for you to read a little family secret I've been hiding from you and your father."