Lost In Purple
Chapter 66: Purple Parallels (Epilogue)
Johnny's POV
I've been bad mouthing her for so long. Voicing my opinion on her as weird and cruel, having attempted to change the rules of the game but was indirectly silenced by my ancestor and buried under the fame of my family. She did everything she was supposed to, and followed the rules that we all have been following...or at least most of us have. There wasn't any point in this journal that mentioned Carina being anything less than a Scarer, which means nobody else in the Monster World could possibly be any different. She meant a lot to him…just like how much Melanie means to me.
"I…I really sorry," I reply to my grandfather, "But I don't really understand what you're trying to tell me."
"Ok...well, do you need clarification Professor?" He asks after nodding to me and looking over at King.
"No. I've been silent for a while now and I can safely say I understand everything down to every last detail, but that's because of my…psychology deduction skills I guess would be the way to put it," Professor King sighs comfortably.
"I'm sure this comes as a surprise to all of you, not thinking that Walter would affect us all like this seven hundred years later," My grandfather states.
A part of me feels like this isn't a surprise though. Deep down…he's always been my hero, at least one of them. The fact that he even existed has affected me in one way way or another, but he's played a role in my decision making and motivation. It's just that I would have never guessed that someone as amazing as him would have had regrets, saying that he's sorry for something that he's not responsible for... but then again, all the memories come flooding back. All those dreams I've been having of being on that cliff, watching that purple fire swallow the mountainside whole and surrounding me and that red wolf. That voice…that voice that took over mine and said that he was sorry, and that red wolf saying that she didn't deserve him…it's the exact same thing as in Walters journal.
I wipe my eyes from the leftover tears that are still drying onto my fur. "I-I'm just…weirded out because I think that I've been having these dreams about Walter and Carina without knowing it."
"Dreams about them? That seems too coincidental to be true," Professor King laughs.
I have to explain how these dreams have plagued me ever since I met Melanie. How it seemed like we were sitting on the cliff and watching the quiet night turn into a purple catastrophe, and I even explain the parallels of the journal to the dream. Everyone looks at me like I've gone insane, terrified by what has just oozed out of my mouth. While it may be coincidental, it's a paranormal occurrence that feels like it was trying to tell me something…but I don't know exactly what it is. Professor King breaks the silence with a serious tone. "Ok, Johnny, like I said before, I understand everything. I even understand everything you've just told me…but you're going to have to promise me that you won't think I'm crazy after explaining this to you."
I nod in understanding, ready to finally get some closure on this entire story. How does this relate to me? Why have I been subjected to such craziness? Will there finally be someone around me that can save me from this neverending torture?
"Alright…" Professor King sighs, "What your grandfather here is trying to tell you is that you've already figured out who you are. You're someone who wishes to be the exact opposite of your father, someone who wishes to help others before helping yourself. I've seen and heard this from Melanie countless times, that you want to help her become someone she can be proud of. You're someone who wishes to value peacefulness, harmony, friendship… all of these amazing things that make you trustworthy and reliable amongst your peers, which is why you've taken leadership of the RORs and the MU scaring program as a whole. You've even avoided getting angry with those who think differently than that, like your JOX buddies. You're someone who wishes to be intelligent, so intelligent that you academically hover over everyone because of your amazing work ethic and grit, which can be seen clearly through your grades and commitment to your career. You wish to be honest so that even someone like Melanie can confide in you their deepest and darkest secrets and fears. You even wish to be brave, courageous, fearless…all sorts of traits that make you stand tall amid tough times."
I can see my grandfather smiling slightly at the explanation. Professor King must have hit the nail on the head.
"Your grandfather believes that you already are an astounding person that has the potential of fulfilling the philosophy he described earlier. You're someone that can become a great Scarer, a great friend, and most importantly someone who can live their life to make another, like Melanie, happy," Professor King elucidates.
"That's right. Jonathan, all I ask is for you to be happy…and deep down I want you to make Melanie happy. Your purpose is to live for her, to live out your passions. If you do that, you'll be led right into the person you wish to be, I promise you," My grandfather chimes in.
"But here's the thing," Professor King states, stalling the conclusion to this story. My father, grandfather, and mother all turn to him in surprise, not realizing that there's a 'but' to this situation. "There are so many pressures that are keeping you from being that person you wish to be. The expectations placed on you by not only the scaring program, but all your peers who expect you to keep your title as the best Scarer on campus. There's your fathers expectations that require you to be ruthless in your pursuit of becoming a Scarer, never letting anyone get the better of you. Then there's Melanie's expectations that try to pull you away from your 'usual' self, to become a relaxed and laid back version of yourself that directly clash with your father's wishes of you. You're constantly juggling the various pressures, and all it takes it one slip up to drop them all at once. This is what happened here…you were juggling your wish to fit in, your wish for a grand future, and your wish to live in tranquility…all of which can't be achieved at once. You've been trying, adapting even, in order to find a perfect balance between the three, sacrificing your kindness to remain brave and your trustworthiness for the betterment of your future. Johnny, we all fall, fail, burn, and break. I understand what it's like to have that feeling where you've fallen for no reason, that you've tried your hardest to make everyone happy. But when is it? When is it that you'll finally realize that you have so much more to give to the world. When will you realize that you are much more than what you've been forced to believe? You owe it to yourself to realize that there's nothing wrong with asking for help. There's nothing wrong with not reaching the expectations placed on you."
…I guess I've been dealing with all of that for no reason. I could have talked about this with Melanie, maybe even the Professor, but I didn't think anyone would really care considering that my father never cared. If he, someone that was supposed to be there for me no matter what, didn't care...then why would my mother care? Why would my grandfather care? Why would Javier, or Chip, or…anyone for that matter care? I see my mistake now…I was expecting things from other people, just like they were expecting things from me.
"I can see the relief in your eyes, so I'm guessing we're feeling a little better. However, we're not done. When it comes down to those dreams, and the eerie similarities of the two, there can't possibly be a scientific or logical explanation for it. For me, I believe that it was fate. Those dreams must have been warnings, the world's way of telling you to change yourself for the better. Those dreams were you experiencing Walters world collapsing around him all because he didn't know what was and wasn't important around him until it was too late. You must have been experiencing the world fixing a wrong it wrote many centuries ago, you could even say it's an apology, the attempted mending of a broken shard of glass that's long been lost. Mr. Worthington Senior, I'm guessing I'm correct if I say that Melanie is a descendant of Carina Kennedy, yes?" Professor King continues.
My grandfather debates about what he should say, but he ultimately decides to be honest with us. "Yes, she is. She's technically Carina's great great great great niece; It was her sisters family that remained resilient after all these years. Walter began writing letters to them at some point in his life, and every Worthington in each generation continued to do so ever since Carina died, and I myself have been writing to Ambrose after I met him many years ago. We stopped writing about a decade ago because he could no longer find the time to write after working all day and all night like his son, and it pains me to hear that he's about to pass away soon too," My grandfather mumbles.
"Then there you have it. You're living out the same life that Walter was living, and Melanie is living out the same life that Carina was living. While that is of course very poetic, this story still has one last step before it ends. It ends with Carina dying…and since everything is playing out in a very similar fashion, then I'm afraid to say that Melanie might be passing away soon too. I don't know how this would happen or what would happen, but this is a pattern that we should all be willing to acknowledge before it's too late," Professor King analyzes.
What?! No! She can't possibly die…she's been healthy, strong, smart…everything that makes a monster capable of living…right?
"If you want everything to resolve itself, if you want to live happily like you've always dreamed of… then you're going to have to apologize, make things right…Knowing Melanie, she will absolutely give you one more chance," Professor King emphasizes.
"But how? How can I say that I've actually changed, that I won't leave her behind? Besides…It's not like I understand who I am or where I belong either," I ask.
Professor King stands up only to kneel down in front of me. "That's actually the exact point that I would like to get across. Those dreams you've been having…they were laced in purple. A color that's been associated with royalty, luxury, power, ambition, wealth, pride, arrogance, independence…everything that relates to you, Johnny. But it's also associated with mystery, creativity, emotional sensitivity, compassion, and redemption… everything that relates to Melanie. Having known the both of you for some time now, it's obvious that your both trying your best to be different things. Melanie wants to be ambitious like you, independent like you, powerful like you…and you, you want to redeem yourself in the light of your family, you want to be compassionate like her, creative like her, and you wish to uncover everything about her. The both of you have been entangled in a puzzle that's nearly impossible to solve, and you have been searching for the shade of purple that you're both happy with for as long as you can remember. Are you really powerful? Can she really redeem her introverted self? Can you really be independent? Can she really free herself from a bundle of mystery and let her name be known in such a diluted profession?"
"The both of you have been lost in a sea of purple all your lives… and the both you need to realize that the shade of purple you've been looking for was each other."