Lost In Purple
Chapter 79: Scared
Here's a textbook for you to read since I was busy for three weeks straight. I can't say that I'll post another chapter within the next week or two, but I'll try my best.
Johnny's POV
The five of us are in a mad rush to clean everything while making sure that we have everything we need. Meanwhile, Melanie sits stunned on the couch, eyes darting between us.
"Do you have your phones?! Notebooks?! Pens?!" I holler.
Bruisers stressed panting can be heard throughout the entire house as he helps Chip gather everything he needs. Chet's whimpering is also starting to become increasingly more annoying as he runs from one end of the house to the other while helping Javier. I had everything ready to go, but that's because all I need is my photographic memory and quick thinking today.
It hasn't even been that long since I woke up and I, along with all of my fraternity brothers, have forgotten that it's our Scaring Finals. Well… it's finals for Chip, Javier, and I, but it's campus tradition for pretty much every Scaring student to come watch their upperclassman perform their final scare before entering the professional Scaring world. Chet even begged me to bring along a camera but that's so heavily against the rules that I had to smack him upside the head and give him a lecture on that a couple days ago. Any camera flashes could cause a Scarer to be thrown off his game and maybe even cause certain Scarers to have epileptic attacks if they have epilepsy.
Luckily Chet listened to me and is ready to go as soon as everyone else is. Chip sprints to the door and opens it for everyone, allowing Chet and Bruiser to wobble their way out.
"Go Chip! We'll be right behind you!" I holler while picking Melanie up and throwing her on my back.
She wraps her arms around my neck and holds on tightly as I bend down so that I can travel on all fours. I feel the flat wooden flooring beneath my hands and feet before reaching the door, swinging it open and pulling it shut with my tail. When the thud of the door echoes down the cul-de-sac, I feel the switch in texture beneath my limbs. The grainy concrete creates a noticeable but overall insignificant sting once they activate my nerves. Other than that, I feel the warm, summer heat blast against my fur as I dart down the street, noticing the sky has no clouds covering the brilliant light that shines down upon us. The multicolored trees spiral upwards and dance as a soft breeze pushes them eastward, generating a comforting rustle that loving reminds my eardrums of my childhood.
Melanie and I see my fraternity brothers putting all possible effort into their running, swinging their arms to the rhythm of their steps. Their muscles contract and relax with every movement, making it seem like they're nearly flying down the street as if their lives depended on it. I guess that's only a true statement for two of them though. They essentially can't become qualified to pursue their dreams if they don't make it to their destination in time.
Being in the same boat as them, I throw myself into overdrive. Every lunge I take takes us further towards the Amphitheater, where the trees graciously shade us from the rays above, and cover our multicolored surroundings. In the distance you can see the dip in terrain where the campus river glows blue, and you can see the Business School that's built out of fire red brick. The stone trims surrounding it in spiky patterns and the towering chimneys only make it look more beautiful than it already is. The rest of the campus is built with the same materials, giving them great contrast to the trees of every color.
As we all take a slight left turn, I think back to all the times I've traveled through campus. Finding all kinds of new monsters to talk with, finding spots to relax in, whether they be open or restricted, and enjoying the free atmosphere atop emerald green grass. It isn't until my feet touch a new concrete texture that I snap out of my daze and continue running in between the Registration Hall and University Hall, which are to the right of the Scaring School. The paths are nearly empty as much of the school is either in class or already in the Scaring School's biggest classroom that holds over a thousand people. Nobody is even sitting along the edges of the fountain this morning, which only shows how fashionably late we are…you know maybe Carrie has a point with me being late.
Anyways, Bruiser and Chet reach the stone steps and begin climbing while reading their phones. They have a relieved look on their face which in turn makes me relieved. We must have made it with plenty of time to spare. I would probably be able to comprehend how much time we have but I was too busy daydreaming for a majority of the run over here, so I'm just going to assume we have 10 or 15 minutes until class starts.
Chip and Javier then reach the stone steps and turn around to face Melanie and I who are mere seconds away from joining them. Just before I push myself up off the ground, Melanie preemptively dismounts me and lands perfectly on her feet.
"You two go on ahead, I have to talk with Johnny for a minute," She states while grabbing Javier's wrist.
"Are you sure, amiga? If so, you must be quick," He asks.
Melanie nods her head and then pushes him up the stairs, leaving them to turn back towards the Scaring School entrance and eventually enter. Now it's just the two of us. There's not a single soul outside aside from us.
"John, can you tell me what's bothering you?" Melanie questions while blocking me from going any further and putting her hands on my chest.
"Bothering me? There's nothing bothering me," I answer while raising an eyebrow.
She begins dusting me off and nitpicking every square inch of my fur, making sure that it's a spotless as it always is. It seems she gained an attractive understanding of how I like to present myself.
"John…," She groans, "Enough…I could tell that something was bothering you this morning. Even more so when you were staring off into space while running here. I almost thought you were going to run us straight into a wall or you were going to sprain something by stepping on a pebble."
…I…I told her that I would change. That I would be more open about how I feel with her, and that I wouldn't hide anything anymore. I just didn't expect her to be able to read me like a book, especially after nearly four years of nobody being able to do that. So I guess this is where that habit ends, because it's the first time I feel myself hesitating to tell the truth.
"…Mel…I…I-um," I stutter before sighing in frustration.
Melanie then takes her hands and places them on both sides of my head. The midday sun creates a slight reflection off her eyes that's entrancing when combined with those now magenta irises. "It's alright John, whatever it is, I'll be sure to help you get through it."
I know she will. I just have to figure out a way to say it without sounding like a child.
"…I…I just…don't want everything to end," I finally concede.
"End? What's ending? I thought your life was just about to get started?" Melanie asks in a motherly tone.
My eyes move down to the ground and inadvertently stay there. The way I feel about this is so unlike me and it's killing me. I'm supposed to be confident, I'm supposed to be brave…but I'm not.
So, here I go. "I…I don't want to move on. Even though I was lonely for most of my college life, I…I loved being so free. Oh I know you don't feel the same way about this campus as I do, and I know you don't want me to affiliate with my father's ideals anymore, but… being able to make my own decisions and have as much fun as I possibly can…having people look at me as the life of the party…as someone to look up to… I loved every second of it."
Melanie snickers. "That's such a Johnny thing to say."
"I-I know it is, and I know it sounds… vain and selfish and… all kinds of entitled things, but really…it felt like home. It felt like a place where I belong. And now that I have to take this final, I'm going to have to leave it all behind. No more parties. No more late nights doing whatever it is I want to. No more making progress in Scaring…No more spending time with you," I explain.
Melanie's amused expression fades into worry and she begins gliding the back of her hand against my cheek.
"After this, I'll be on a scare floor all day doing the same thing over and over again without anybody to talk with, celebrate with…live with. Wh-what is there to do once all of this is done? What's the point? What's the purpose?" I admit.
With a soft tone, Melanie says, "I don't know, John. What was it that made you want to be a Scarer in the first place? Was it really just to be needed? To have people glorify your name? Or was it to have fun? Did you enjoy Scaring for all it was and is? Or maybe it was because you wanted to personally be the reason that others can live happily."
All of those are valid answers, and all of them feel like they are correct. Scaring has been glorified so much in Monster society, that every kid dreams of being a Scarer for the fame. I also did at some point think Scaring was fun. Going into a realm that's restricted to the public, and being skilled enough to explore it in order to gain power for everyday life. I wanted to be someone that people could point at and say, 'we need that guy in order to live, he is not worthless, he…is not a disappointment.' I guess that's where it all lies then. I didn't want to be a nobody in my loved ones eyes, but every obstacle I ran into along the way clouded my genuine enjoyment for the profession. So, there I went, seeking ways to have fun outside of Scaring and unknowingly rebelling against my family.
"There's a lot of answers I could give you, but it's up to you to choose how you want to move on. Just like it always has…It's your life Johnny," Melanie says with a smile, "Just know that nothing will change too drastically. You'll still be the most popular guy around, you'll still be partying until you pass out, and you'll still be the same monster you've always been…but without the envy of course…and I'll be there for you no matter what."
Before all of this, I was afraid of leaving my college life behind me, but now I know that I'll be happy as long as Melanie is here to be alongside me. Even if everything goes wrong, and I have to work excruciating hours at an excruciating job, Melanie will be there to make everything better. Maybe there is no real purpose… maybe life is just about the feelings and experiences we have with those we love. It sounds cliché, but I never really had the chance to think about it like that before considering my family never really acted like a family. And now, all of a sudden, I have one.
"Come on, Horns. Let's go see all your friends."
Melanie's POV
Johnny pushes open the door for me and reveals a completely full amphitheater classroom that's similar to the ones I had for my Scaring classes. There's stained glass along the back wall that lets the sun shine a rainbow of color through, walls of light and dark grey stone glued together by cement, hundreds of seats for people to fill, an overhanging balcony above the seats, and a giant stone floor for professors to teach on. This time, however, there's a scare simulator on it, which is similar to the one I was tested in a few months ago. Parts of it have the suns bright light shining on it while everything else is dipped in darkness. It's funny how every classroom within the Scaring School has some sort of natural spotlight that gloriously graces where the Professor teach.
The students in the classroom are all babbling about whatever it is they want, creating this deafening hum in the room as everyone tries to speak louder than the ones right next to them. They're all different colors, and of different origins. Some are scaly while others are furry, and some are genuinely more scary than others. Whatever the case, they're all here for one thing, to see the seniors all show them how the professionals scare. It's a good thing too, because I recognize some of the freshman in here that I took some classes with. Every single one of them is going to have quite the reality check today, so hopefully it doesn't mess with their confidence for their own finals.
Johnny pushes his body up against my back and then guides me through the crowd of people who have to stand up due to the lack of available seats in the classroom. I think that's a major safety concern but clearly nobody cares. Javier and Chip both stand up at the bottom of the classroom, showing us that they have some available seats saved for us in the front row. That's lucky. They must have been saved for the RORs.
The journey to the front of the classroom is filled with apologies after I run into several monsters by pure accident, and sit on a fluffy and springy seat in between Johnny and Javier like I usually do. There's many monsters reaching from behind us and placing their hands on Johnny and Javier's shoulders asking if they're ready to go for their last amateur scare. Of course they both say they are, in fact, ready before talking about making plans at some point over the summer or further in the future. It's definitely surreal to think that all these people who are struggling to leave behind their high school personalities are becoming grown ups. It's also weird thinking about not stepping foot back on campus after a few more weeks.
While everyone is goofing around, I take notice of all the monsters occupying the floor in front of us. Professor Knight, Professor King, and even Dean Hardscrabble are all conversing with each other along with other monsters that I presume to be Professors. I guess this is a tradition as well; Every Professor comes together to give monsters the permission to become professional. All of them suddenly separate and take their seats at one of the many desks circling the Scare Simulator. All except Dean Hardscrabble and Professor King.
"May I have your attention students?!" Hardscrabble announces.
It takes a moment for everyone to calm down and give their attention to one of the more intimidating people in the classroom. Honestly, she's not as scary as Professor King, at least in a psychological sense. He's more unpredictable…and intelligent.
"Now that everyone is here, it is time for some of our great students to finally become greater. They have all traversed through the programs most difficult tests and even proven themselves to be capable through several of the Scare Games," Hardscrabble states before being drowned out by the cheers of all the students.
Hardscrabble has to raise her hand to imply that everyone needs to quiet down again, of which they all do.
So she continues. "And so, it is time for their final test, for all of you to see. For those of you who are Scaring students, take this as an opportunity to learn from the greatest of your peers. They will move on to be well known throughout the Monster World for the rest of their lives, and this very well may be the only chance you can learn the difference between being a good Scarer, and a horrifying Scarer."
There's quite a couple people that bask in their glory. Smirking, crossing their arms and legs, and even patting each other on their backs. I feel for them. To them, it's probably as if they've known each other all their lives and are having this realization that what they went through was grueling.
They're free now…and I hope that they all live happily. Even for Red and Omar who have been a part of something very disturbing these past few years. The same sentiment obviously goes to Carrie and Rosie, and all the others of their sororities that are graduating with Johnny.
"As for those who are not Scare students, I do sincerely hope you are impressed with what this program has created. I hope that you can see the end of a Scare Energy shortage in sight, and I hope that you can remain proud of who we are as Scarers. Also, I hope that you all remain proud of being a student here at Monsters University," Hardscrabble concludes.
Everyone bursts out in cheers again and starts rhythmically chanting, "MU, MU, MU!"
It's almost like everyone here has some sort nationalistic obligation to be indebted and loyal to an institution that gets away with extorting people. I don't know, I find it weird.
"As much as we all appreciate the excitement," Hardscrabble hollers with that snooty tone of hers, "There are a couple final announcements to be made. I'll let Professor King take over from here."
She gestures behind her towards the darkness where Professor King reveals himself. He's wearing his usual black and gold suit with floral patterns wrapping its' entirety. The golden flames emanating from his throat and through the slits of the back of his jaw are raging as well.
"I apologize for delaying your finals, seniors. However, I felt like this would be the best opportunity for me to inform you all that I will be moving on from being a professor," Professor King discloses.
A bunch of astonished whispers reverberate throughout the giant classroom, and I even hear the PNKs, who are behind us, freak out. They let out a bunch of 'what's' and 'whys' before Professor King is able to continue. I even look over to Johnny to see those sorrowful eyes of his return, just like they were before we entered the Scaring School.
"For those of you who have not had the chance to get to know me, which I know is quite a few of you because of spreading rumors about me being a very difficult teacher, I had the pleasure to teach Scaring 101 and Scaring 102 this last semester. Over the years I've also taught both General and Advanced Monster Genetics, Cognitive Human Neuroscience, Quantum Portal Connectivity, Physiology of Monster Limbs & Joints, Advanced Door Properties, Guttural Affectations, and many other classes here at Monsters University," Professor King explains.
More whispers make their way through the crowd, expressing a large amount of disbelief in how someone like him could be so multi-talented in Scaring, Human World Door Mechanics and Biology. If only they all knew that he's widely proficient in Psychology and Therapeutic Services too.
He begins slowly pacing back and forth with all eyes on him, gesturing every now and again while explaining. "And while all of that was great to experience, what truly made my time here more than wonderful was watching all of our seniors here today grow up. Meeting them when they were nothing but curious, motivated, and ignorant of what they were getting into, and watching them grow into these grand, tough, and inspiring monsters they are now…that is what has made my time here one in a million."
Johnny has slumped down in his seat and has stared off into nothingness. This is hitting him harder than I thought, which makes me more upset when the Professor speaks up again. "After everything we've been through, I wish to give you some words of advice…and these words are probably something none of your other professors here would like or want me to say…but I don't care because it's true."
The pause he utilizes isn't that long but it's drowning in suspense. All of us expect to hear the secrets of life or something of equal impact to escape his mouth. I can also tell that Hardscrabble and some of the other Scaring Professors are instantly debating on stopping Professor King before he speaks his mind.
"There is no such thing as being a perfect Scarer, because there is no such thing as being fearless."
Eyes widen, smiles disappear and are replaced by open jaws, and all movement ceases to be shown. He…he said it. He said something so controversially charged, so against the very nature of our species out loud that nobody has any clue what to say or do.
"Feel free to disagree or forever curse me for saying such a blasphemous thing… but it's true. After years of being in the Scaring industry…after seeing many monsters like you exit the human world and second guess their life choices in an instant, after seeing many straight up quit and disappear from the worlds eyes, after seeing many monster's cognitive functions alter into psychologically damaged disasters… I can tell you that you're not as unbreakable as you think," Professor King explains.
He then takes a deep breath. "I've been noticing a trend between all of you. Everyone's struggling to find their own places in society to the point where they will use each other as stepping stones to achieve fame and glory. I'm not even going to mention the absolutely deplorable events that have happened between certain individuals this year, however, it seems that you all have forgotten about what keeps you alive… Someone in this room has implicitly told me that they have hemophobia, another has trypanophobia. One has androphobia while another hylophobia. There's even someone in here who has autophobia, the fear of being themselves."
Everyone's looking at each other. Some look confused while others look relieved to know that they're not alone. Of course nobody is going to admit that they're afraid of something due to social stigma, but it's kind of…nice to know that someone said this for all of us to hear.
"Deny it all you want… You will run into something out in the human world that will absolutely terrify you to the point where you think about shutting down. Some of you may have already experienced this…two monsters actually come to mind, but regardless, I want you all to understand that you are not invincible. There's always a possibility where you'll become lost in your own world, unsure of how you can face the rest of the world around you. I do wish I could undo the damage that has been bestowed upon you all, to think that nothing can best you no matter what. Anyways…If there's ever a day where you feel like this, and have nowhere to go or nowhere to turn to, feel free to track me down and I'll do my best to get you all back on track…because my fear is seeing your dreams be crushed by monsters who view you as servants to the people, and gods amongst monsters."
The goosebumps I feel refrain from vanishing for the entirety that the classroom remains silent. We all simultaneously agree that Professor King is the only monster here that really cares about people.
"Thank you for everything," He says with a bow and a hand held close to his heart. "Now, with that out of the way, we'll begin testing in a few short minutes. Senior Scarers, as a reminder, we will be going in alphabetical order and your goal is to fill up the scream capacity score to at least 75% in one scare. Anything under that will result in a failing grade and immediate departure from the Scaring Program like always. Be sure to come up to the Scaring Simulator prepared as you never known what scare we will test you for. Good luck…We all hope to see you on a scare floor soon."
All the seniors are ready after quickly reviewing their notes and doing swift study sessions with their friends. Johnny, Javier, and Chip are raring to go, refusing to stop talking amongst themselves as to not succumb to their nerves. Their legs bounce up and down nervously and they play with their claws, waiting impatiently for everything to move along. When Johnny does find himself back in the seat to my right, I move my hand along his muscular forearm and squeeze my fingers in between his, but it's almost like he hasn't even noticed that I did that.
The moment his attention starts drifting away from Javier and Chip, his stare clings to the Scare Simulator. He's afraid of going up there. He's afraid of everything changing to something he can't foresee. He had all these hopes and dreams of becoming a full-grown Scarer, but maybe it's not as easy as he thought it would be. It also must feel like he's saying goodbye to his family members too. He only had great things to say about Monsters University and he only ever had good things to say about Professor King, and now he won't be around anymore.
"Will you be alright, Johnny?" I ask with a whisper.
The angle of his eyes are parallel to the Scare Simulator and then move forty-five degrees down to the stone floor. It's astonishing to see them shoot over to me afterwards.
"Yeah…I'll just miss everyone, that's all," He answers.
I want to say more to him, but the first monster gets called up to the Scare Simulator. Everyone goes silent as he stands up and walks down the staircase with shaky legs. All of the professors open their notebooks and take out a pen for grading purposes, but it's Professor King and Dean Hardscrabble who simply overlook the stage with regal composure. The poor monster can't take his attention away from them either, gulping out of pure fear. Seems Professor King was right about him at least, he can't possibly be fearless if he's this uneasy about a test. I can't blame him…I would probably pass out from anxiety.
He steps up to the Scare Simulator as the classroom lights dim down, and then the spotlight from the balcony above the student seats beams directly onto the poor monster. The simulator is different from how I remember it. Instead of it being almost completely empty, the simulator has toys scattered all over it, patterned wall paper, real curtains dangling from the fake window-sill, and a bunch of other random house hold items. It's almost hyper-realistic.
The monsters neon green scales reflect the light brilliantly, and his circular body structure makes him look like a sour apple gumball. I actually remember seeing him from time to time…he's from Gamma Roar Roar, the gamer Scarers. His goofy composure is all that he has to show when he stares deathly into the eyes of Professor Knight. "Mr. Aarchie, I'm a six year old girl afraid of snakes, vomiting, and unstoppable clicking sounds. What would be the best possible scare for you to perform in order to stay on track of your Scream Energy Quota?"
"U-um… Would it be a-a Clock's Strike followed by, uh, a stage three Lizard's Kiss?" He replies with uncertainty.
"Hmm, I don't know, why don't you demonstrate for us?" Professor Knight urges.
The green monster slumps down a little and struggles to steadily walk towards the door of the Scare Simulator. We can hear his breathing quicken too which actually starts to concern me because it almost sounds unhealthy.
Professor King unravels his crossed arms and steps to the side before saying, "Stop," in a firm tone.
Everyone is taken back by the immediate halt of testing since we haven't even seen the first scare happen yet. So, we all watch as he walks up to the GRR member and whisper to him, and making gestures with his hands that seem like he's telling him to breathe slowly. In and out, in and out, in and out. The Professor then pats the monster on the back and returns to his standing position in front of the simulator.
"Just so you all know, as a professional Scarer, you control the speed at which you scare," He announces. "Now…Continue."
The green monster then slides into the room and falls to the floor before crawling over to the curtains so that he can slide up behind them and hide. When he's ready, he begins to make a high pitched clicking sound that resembles the clicking of a pen. It repeats and repeats and repeats until the mannequin within the bed shifts awake and raises itself into the air. I don't know if the monster is making it vocally or by hitting one of his claws on the wall, but it's starting to drive me insane as each click begins growing in intensity. The mannequin twitches a bit before moving its head towards the curtain, and as it narrows its eyes, the green monster flies out from the curtains to flick his tongue at a rapid speed and generate a growl that sounds as if it's been digitally altered to cut out every nanosecond. In layman's terms, it's a scare that sounds like a glitch in the system.
The mannequin does what it always does. Its arms flail in the air and a weak sounding recording of scream is played before we're all shown a red bar that fills 95% of the way up above the simulator. The classroom roars to life after that, giving the green monster a standing ovation as he is directed to go over to the Professors and be given handshakes and heartfelt goodbyes. It's obvious that he's very emotional by trying to keep the waterworks back, especially when he sees Professor King and gives him a giant hug. It's justified because I don't know if that monster would have passed without having the Professor there to help him.
When the green monster finally disappears into the sea of students, the next monster is called up, and the next one after that, and so forth. It seems like an eternity before Chip is called up to the simulator. The cheers for him are louder than any other monster as he moves up into the spotlight. That's probably because he's one of the first RORs to be up there in a while.
Chip takes his position in front of the Professors and carefully listens to Professor Knight. "Mr. Goff, I'm an eight year old boy from Russia afraid of sharp objects, bears, being isolated. What would be the best possible scare for you to perform in order to stay on track of your Scream Energy Quota?"
"An Ursan Thump with a Guttural Forest Roar," Chip confidently answers.
"Demonstrate," Professor Knight instructs.
With some pep in his step, Chip stomps over to the fake closet door, and silently pushes it open. It makes a little creak before shutting completely, but the mannequin doesn't shift in its 'sleep.'
I take a quick look at Johnny to see him leaning his whole body forward while staring seriously at his performance. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly and his jaw hangs open a small distance, silently hoping that his good friend will pass with honor. I'm understanding how he feels. We all know at this point that he's not only becoming a Scarer for himself, but for his mom who is no longer around.
With Chip's goal in mind, I turn my attention back to the simulator to see him suddenly shift the weight of his body backwards and then forwards at full force. He falls to the ground only to catch himself with his arms, creating this obnoxiously loud thud that can be felt throughout the whole classroom. The rumble causes the mannequin to shoot up and glare at Chip directly as he pushes himself back off the ground while unleashing an agitated sounding roar from the back of his throat. Doing his best physical imitation of a bear, he swings his arms around in clunky ways, acting like he's trying to brutally maul the mannequin.
Just like that, his scare is all over. The red bar above the simulator fills up again, around 85% of the way full. Similar to before, the classroom goes wild. Although this time everyone down in the first few rows are more kinesthetic than ever before. All the girls in PNK are acting like their favorite football player just scored a touchdown, screaming at an ear-piercing tone. Javier, Chet, and Bruiser are also roaring so intensely that it causes even some of the professors to turn around and make sure that we're all okay.
Johnny was the one who was most notably the proudest though. He pushed himself out from his chair and celebrated harder than anything I've seen him celebrate before. I could feel the emotions behind his cheers. It was as if it was something he wanted more than anything else in the world; It's as if he wouldn't care if he himself failed, because all he wished for was to see his friends succeed in unimaginable ways.
With a rush of energy, Chip exits the simulator and does exactly what the many other monsters before him did. He gives all the professors his thanks and tells them his final goodbyes before moving towards Professor King. Chips massive arms swing around him and pull him close, making it obvious that Professor King really has been the most influential person for Scarers at Monsters University. The only appropriate thanks anyone can give to Professor King is physical affection. There's a few words Chip speaks with the Professor before leaving him and joining up with Johnny and Javier. They smother him with the most aggressive group hug possible. It's reminiscent of a sports team tackling each other after winning their championship game, making sure that they wouldn't ever forget the moment they bask in pure glory.
Before I know it, they all break apart and Chip lunges towards me so that he can pick me up off my seat and hug me relentlessly. Even though there's plenty of noise coming from behind me, I'm able to hear Chip say, "Thanks for everything, Melanie."
"U-uh sure…Why are you thanking me though? There wasn't a whole lot of things I did to help your Scaring," I ponder.
"You did a lot more than you think," He says with a grandiose smile, "You were there when I didn't feel good, you helped me out here and there with my Scaring even if it was something small, and you were one of the few monsters who believed in me."
It's true. While there weren't many times this past year where we both specifically spent loads of time together, I did always make sure he was doing okay. Whenever I would see him after my classes, when he was studying, or whenever he was simply living his life…I would try to make him feel good. I would give him some company, make him some food if he was hungry, take him away from his stress, and other things. I guess I was like a mother to him in some sort of way. As much as I don't want to replace his actual mother, I was probably filling in that piece he was missing.
"We're all proud of you," I chuckle.
Chip sets me back down on the seat and replies with, "Hehe, I know."
He then goes to give the others behind us some attention. He shakes some hands and gives others some brotherly hugs before sitting down and releasing all of his college originated stress one last time.
"Only one more ROR before you finally get to see your favorite Scarer do his thing," Johnny whispers boldly as the next monster is called up.
I can't help but feel excited. Envisioning my giant, fuzzy purple monster up on the stage and striking fear into not only the mannequin, but also every other monster who audacity to call themselves scary…it sends shivers down my spine. I can almost feel the power that will emerge from him and I can't hold myself back from my emotions.
I grab ahold of Johnny's bicep with both my arms so that I can pull myself into him. I think back to all those times when he was drowning in praise and absorbing everyone's impressions as if he were a celebrity. I think I like that now. I want to see him come alive and prove to everyone that he's not just some rich kid with anger issues. He's someone incomparable to the normal monster.
"You're not going to hold back right?" I whisper back while feeling my tail rock back and forth.
"Hold back? Why would I hold back when you're here? I want you to see the most terrifying monster you've ever seen," Johnny questions.
"Well if that's the case, then I don't think I have to worry about you anymore. I'm expecting to see the monster you were back when I first met you," I respond.
"Oh you'll see it, princess. That's one of my better quirks you know, being scarily enticing to the ladies. Don't be jealous if all of them start swarming me afterwards," He says with a cocky smile.
I let out a scoff that's just loud enough for him to hear and think about what he just said.
"I'm only joking," He chuckles.
"No you're not! I know that's what you secretly wish for every night!" I counter teasingly.
He leans towards me a little more and lowers his voice. "No, what I really wish for every night is seeing you underneath me in bed."
My immediate response is to cover my eyes for some reason. The soreness of my mouth muscles pulling my lips in many directions also overwhelms me. "I-I…I'm going to leave if y-you do this again."
"Oh no your not, I'm not leaving this classroom until you finally learn what it is your dealing with here," He chuckles once more before wiggling his eyebrows, "Just one giant horror that has certain needs to be fulfilled. And guess what, you're the first one who's graciously volunteered to help me with that."
"J-John…do you really have to talk about that here?" I ask with an embarrassed and high pitched tone.
His colossal fingers grab my right hand and intertwine with my own. "You asked for it, sweetheart. I'm not going to let you get away with such profane claims about me."
I guess my teasing did hit a soft spot. I should know that he couldn't help how he was in certain ways. There wasn't really anyone that he could wholly connect with… at least until I showed up. So, the only thing he could do to get himself out there was to learn semi-aggressive ways to attract other women into liking him. As creepy as that sounds, it's still better than what the JOX were doing…
"Jokes aside, I really do only think about you nowadays. Everything feels better when you're beside me," He suddenly admits.
"Oh my god, John," I groan as my face flushes more.
"Stop it, you'll be alright. I just wish you would understand that you're priority number one to me. All of the other women in this godforsaken place don't even come close to being an option for me anymore. You set the bar so high that it's impossible to reach it," Johnny says closing his eyes and waving his hand dismissively.
I lift my legs up onto the seat, let go of Johnny's hands and bury my head into my legs. For some reason, I still can't get used to him saying anything like that in public.
"…Would you rather me say that I hate you?" Johnny states.
My head then shoots up, which is exactly what he planned. His low yet quiet chuckles are soothing, letting me know that he was joking about that too. I should have known he was joking, I don't know why that hit me that hard. His laugh, when paired with that smile, also gives me goosebumps. That giant hand of his is placed on top of my head and he circles his claws around, making a scratching sound that only I would be able to hear. His eyes then observe the Scaring that's happening in front of us, leaving me to wait in suspense for his turn.
The carnal need to become his biggest fan girl on the planet is suppressed when we finally reach the point where Javier is called up to the Scaring Simulator. The cheers for him are exceptionally more falsetto than brassy. Wow…he's more of a heart throb than I thought. I swear, there's several girls in the crowd than nearly pass out when they see him strut up to the platform, acting like a teenage girl seeing their boy idol for the first time. Seeing him effortlessly stand tall in front of everyone without any worry is impressive. He's also holding his arms behind his back like the butler he is.
"Alright Mr. Rios," Professor Knight prepares, "Since you are one of our more advanced Scarers, we've developed a special prompt for you. Do your best."
The crowd goes silent and everyone becomes visibly worried. I'm guessing this hasn't happened before, or at least it hasn't for a long while. I just secretly hope this doesn't spell disaster for him.
Professor Knight holds up small notecard and adjusts his glasses before opening his mouth. "I'm a seven year old girl from rural Idaho afraid of aliens and wasps, and has a psychological phobia of organisms with any sort of inexplicable dysmorphia. This is a unique fear combo that has just been recently discovered and almost no Scarers have had the confidence to attempt a scare on children exhibiting these fears. To the best of your ability, and without telling us what you will do, create a conceptual scare that could be used to successfully generate scream energy from a child using the information provided. Use this as an opportunity to make a name for yourself and show what it takes to become one of the best Scarers of the modern era."
Woah…
I can hear a few whispers behind me which only make me more worried.
"Dude, how are they gonna ask him that when he's here to learn how to scare?"
"Oh this is going to go so poorly."
I would be passing out at this very moment if I were in his place, but Javier just bows and then walks over to the fake closet door as if it's a piece of cake. The spotlight that was shining brilliantly onto the simulator shuts off and leaves the room in a blanket of a very dark blue, so dark that we can almost not see anything in there. He takes a deep breath before lightly pressing his hand against the door and pushing it open at a snails pace. It opens so slowly that it there's no creaks and doesn't finish opening until twenty seconds later.
He just stands there in the darkness, refusing to move. The mannequin has no idea he's even there and 'sleeps' soundly. Unlucky for them, Javier begins taking stiff steps into the room, somehow not stepping on a single toy or running into the side of the bed. He looks so awkward when he finally stops right next to the mannequin, looking down at it with no emotion or movement. All we can hear is the increasing intensity of his breathing that echoes off the walls of the classroom.
Javier then raises one of his right hands and runs it across the headboard of the bed. The sound was so dull but at the same time it had the sound of subtle snapping of wood and turning into splinters. The mannequin doesn't respond. He does it again…it doesn't respond. With one more attempt, the mannequin finally stirs awake, opening its rusty eyes. Its head turns slowly over towards Javier but doesn't react probably because it can't see anything. For some reason, the silhouette that we see looks extremely similar to a human being. Javier's antennae are hidden, his four eyes that hang on the sides of his heads are blanketed by the blackness, and two of his arms are behind him again. It's almost like he's taken the form of one of those grey humanoid aliens that humans always associate with extraterrestrials.
And out of nowhere, a click assaults our eardrums. The simulator has this immaterial function of turning on the bedside lamp to indicate an experience similar to a child reaching over and turning it on themselves. When the light turns on, we see Javier's four eyes bulging out their sockets, his razor jagged teeth barred, and his antennae laying across his face. Most importantly, the two arms, that we originally couldn't see, pop up from behind his back as he leans forward and are flicking in ways that resemble the twitches of undead muscle spasms. To top it all off, he lets out an ear-piercingly loud scream that sounds so experimentally unorthodox it can't be accurately described. The best way I can put it is that it sounds like a hissing cockroach layered on top of the sound of a high-pitched chainsaw that fluctuates at varying power.
Within just five seconds we saw a technical nobody turn into a somebody, a mere peasant into a god. It was one of those moments where jaws literally dropped. It was so original, so indescribably pure, so terrorizing…that it actually invented a whole new kind of scary. If he utilizes this, his scary will go much more deeper than just being a master of taking advantage of three fears listed. In fact, he'll end up making a name for himself just like the Lochness Monster and Abominable Snowman. He watched that mannequin like he was hunting it, he so patiently waited for any sort of response as if he were obsessed with it. It makes me wonder if he even has the capacity to scare a teenager or full blown adult human.
The simulators red bar shoots up to about 95%, leaving even some of the professors speechless. I mean… it's set to the 'heavy sleeper' setting and he just bypassed that so easily.
With that, the spotlight turns back on and the classroom creates a 5.5 magnitude earthquake with how loud it is. All the girls around me are already crying at the fact they saw Javier's legacy begin. They're screaming out his name in hopes of getting his attention and I even think I saw Crystal totally pass out at how hysterical she was. I guess I'm focusing on the wrong thing here though. I should be thinking about a Javier and his amazing achievement.
He does what everyone else has done before and finds his way to Johnny. The moment they get within a foot of each other, they both raise one hand, grab each others hands, and pull each other together. The worlds greatest bro hug occurs when they collide, which sends a wave of wholesomeness throughout my body. They've been dreaming of this for so long and now one of them has finally made it. I can see Johnny and Javier struggle to keep their emotions in check as they wipes their eyes the moment they break the hug.
"H-how was that, hermano? Think I'll make it as a Scarer?" I hear Javier ask.
Johnny chuckles and pats him on the shoulder as he directs him back to his seat to my left. "I don't see anybody out-scaring you until after you retire."
"Not even you, Señor? I still think you would crush me, it wouldn't even be close," Javier asks.
With a bittersweet exhale Johnny replies, "I don't…I don't know, but I was always hoping we would get to a point where we were equals."
Javier doesn't say anything and just smiles. He then looks over to me as the next monster is called up. "What about you, dama de la luna, what did you think?"
To be honest, there's a lot that I could say, but only one thing comes to mind. "I…I'm just glad that you're not the outcast anymore. You've made a new life for yourself like you always wanted…right?"
Javier's just smiles again and nods with wide eyes. He stares at me silently for a few seconds before snapping out of what I can assume was a daydream and turns to talk to Chip, Chet, and Bruiser. He might be going through something similar to Johnny, unsure of how he's going to feel about leaving college and unsure of where he'll end up. I'm confident that everything will work out for him though…everything always has. No matter where he goes or what he does, he succeeds. Johnny will be sure that Javier succeeds. With the influence he has in the Scaring, he could have Javier sent anywhere with his skills. He soon concludes whatever it is he had to say, leaving Javier to rest.
Johnny waddles by me and plunges back into his seat for another supposed long wait for his attempt at instant fame. I never thought that I would be hoping for someone other than my Dad to become famous, yet here we are. With every passing second I feel myself get increasingly more nervous. The twisting and tearing of my stomach, feeling it pulse in and out like a throbbing pain within the lower part of my torso. I desperately want Johnny to do well but the unfixable habit of dwelling on the 'what if's' lingers. What if he fails? What if he's asked to do something like Javier and he doesn't have an idea? What if Johnny doesn't do as well as he wants to and he goes on this personal tirade where he considers himself to be a disappointment? There's so many possibilities that it makes me hate that time moves forward.
The monsters that still have their tests dwindles, and sure enough, it's Johnny's moment. Everyone including Carrie and Red have had their time in the spotlight, but now it's time for the king of the campus to steal the show.
"Alright, last test! You're up Mr. Worthington!" Professor Knight announces.
We were all expecting the usual cheers but the noise from the classroom was filled to the brim with testosterone. The deep chanting of Johnny's name made it feel like we were in some sort of coliseum for a warrior battle. I stand up with him and grab his hand before he heads up.
"Do your best ok?" I whisper.
"Pfft. Watch and learn, princess. My best is everyone else's worst," Johnny laughs.
Normally Johnny would be eating it up, but this time he just raises his hand in the direction of the students without even looking at the crowd. Hmm… I like that better. Aside from what he just said to me, he's no longer a child that's begging for attention, but instead a monster who knows his capabilities and learned to be happy with what he's got in the first place.
With that casual confidence, he steps up to the Simulator and becomes drowned in the light, showing everyone his beautifully maintained purple fur. The ends of his fur sparkle as if they're shooting stars in the sky, and when certain parts of his body are angled towards the light, a shine flickers into everyone's retinas. His horns are a freshly polished white, and his claws on both his hands and feet are pitch black. He's basically a doll or figurine that never left his box.
"Alright, alright…" Professor Knight says to calm the crowd down, "We have yet another special prompt for you Mr. Valedictorian."
All the students laugh while leaning forwards in anticipation. Their eyes are so wide that it seems like they'll be stuck in those positions, and their legs bounce up and down without end. Just how much better is he compared to everyone else? I'm positive that you wouldn't even see monsters act like this if they were given the chance to see Earl Thompson or Bill Sullivan scare in the flesh.
Professor Knight holds up another notecard and reads it. "Every so often Recon Squads at scare factories will enter a new human child's room to obtain information on their fears and allow Scarers to harvest their screams for energy. Although, there are times where Recon members will stumble across human children that do not provide any information on their innate, primal fears due to external factors unbeknownst to Monster kind; There are no drawings depicting their fears, and no notable behavior that could give us clues. Your task is to develop a scare, without telling us what techniques you use, that will most likely dig into the fears of such a child and maybe even develop a new fear for the child with the following information: I'm a six year old boy with an impeccably respectful demeanor occupying a room with no decoration or toys. The only notable object in the room is a religious text and notebooks filled with educational notes and work."
With no hesitation, Johnny struts over to the fake closet door and waits for the spotlight to turn off. The instant it does, he swings open the door and throws his body in the room before silently closing the door. We should be able to see his silhouette within the extremely dark room, but his figure vanishes entirely when his fingers relinquish his touch of the door. There's no thuds, groans, clicks…anything…it's just eerily quiet. Without warning, a hefty scratching sound breaks the silence and leaves the professors unsure of what happened. The simulator's low lights are turned on a tiny bit, revealing the once perfectly fine wallpaper that was adorning the room has been ripped to shreds and the mannequin is wide awake looking around the room in fear.
A couple of whispers from behind me fill the air, and they all explicitly tell how unsettling or unorthodox this scare is. I would agree with them too. Usually Scarers just walk in do a little jump here and there before letting out a roar. This is more elaborate than that; It's as if he wants this inorganic object to suffer and feel feelings it can't feel.
…That was kind of a mouthful, but that's the best way to describe this. Like, with how stupidly huge Johnny is, you would think you could see him anywhere within the room…but not a single soul knows where he's at. It's not until the walls of the simulator are banged on several times. From what I can assume, it's Johnny's fist colliding with the rickety wood at full force that's caused every single person in this room to jump and feel an onslaught of existential dread filling up inside them. The noise becomes loud enough for us to cover our ears.
The mannequin looks around at such a high speed in at least one hundred different directions, unable to find Johnny. It stays looking for him until the lights flicker for half and second, and his massive body appears before it. With great speed, he leans towards the mannequin's face with a red star symbol drawn on his face, eyes rolled back to the point where we can see the blood vessels in his eyes, and jaw gaped open to reveal his bone-crunching teeth. The roar he lets out is something straight out of the depths of hell. It's deeper than a lion's and it's distorted more than a saw synth in an electronic dance song. The scare is so raw, so powerful…it's jaw-dropping. The demonic nature that Johnny exudes truly makes it seem like he's some otherworldly god. He's a ruthless ruler of the underworld with an overwhelming and commanding presence that could have the potential to be called oppressive. It puts all other scares before this to complete and utter shame; They were child's play compared to this.
Nothing could best that, and I felt so alive watching the primitive process of fear unfold with such intensity before my very eyes. I could finally understand why Johnny has invested his life in scaring, and why he wants it to be such a big deal for me. Knowing how much might is behind your loved one, how much power they exude in multiple ways…it's intoxicating… and I can only admit that I want to see Johnny do this one hundred more times.
The mannequin screams, and the red bar fills… all the way to 100%. The cheers that follow are deafening, but I don't care because all I want to do is jump up on the simulator and never let Johnny go. I've never been so proud of someone before. It's an addicting feeling and I hope that I can feel this way each time Johnny leaves for work in the future. Just thinking about what he'll accomplish makes me excited beyond belief…and for some reason it's like I've been hoping for him to reach this achievement for my whole life. I don't know why, I've only known him for less than a year, but maybe I'm living out my dreams vicariously through him.
All the RORs hop out of their seats with me and let out their mightiest roars for Johnny to hear. I even see everyone from HSS and JOX give him an immense amount of props for his flawless performance. Even they think his scare is something that no professional can either beat or replicate.
Johnny's colossal smile doesn't leave his face as he exits the simulator and walks to the professors. He gives them all quick handshakes, but specifically gives Professor Knight and Professor King his infamous bear hugs, smothering them in as much appreciation as he can muster; They were his favorite professors after all.
Johnny talks with the two of them for another minute before walking past them. His eyes lock onto mine and he nearly begins running. That is until his arms wrap around me and I'm sent into the sky. I feel the inertia being pressed against me when I'm swung side to side out of love. I want to be embarrassed since I see the rest of the RORs circling around us and drawing all the attention to me, but I think Johnny did a good enough job at shielding me from it all.
"So what did you think, Mel? Am I a good enough Scarer for you?" He asks while laughing emotionally.
"Oh Johnny, you know you're the best Scarer here. You would have done fine even if I wasn't here," I chuckle.
He takes his right hand and places it behind my head before leaning his head back in order to look into my eyes.
"I could not disagree more…You're the last bit of inspiration I have and… I would have quit if I didn't get to talk to you again," Johnny divulges with his pupils dilating.
My ears lower and I want to tell him that I'm not required in order for him to live his life. Javier and Chip end up throwing themselves into the two of us though, and create this ROR group hug. The rest of the seniors do the same thing with their own friends and start screaming, "WE DID IT!"
Well yeah, of course you all did. Why would none of you make it? You're all the best of the best right?
Class was dismissed and it caused the hallways to be filled with the senior Scarers throwing their papers into the air. Johnny had to carry me out to make sure that I didn't get trampled by everyone, which I can appreciate to a certain extent. There's definitely some monsters that wouldn't have seen me on the floor and just crushed me if he didn't do that. Luckily everyone made it out unscathed, and I was gently placed back onto the cement once we all descended the stone steps in front of the Scaring School. All the students who didn't make it into the classroom due to various reasons, which was easily over 1000 students, remained outside and gave the senior Scarers an uproarious congratulations. It's weird being in the middle of all of this since I didn't even make it through my freshman year, and I'm not even going to talk about how similar this is to a movie or to show based on high school. It really is like summer break just started and everyone is going to break out into song or something.
"Hey Johnny!" I hear Carrie holler as she swerves through the crowd to get to the RORs.
I look up to Johnny and see him rolling his eyes. "Please don't tell me you're mad at me again!"
Carrie finds her way through and stops in front of everyone. "No! Be happy that I'm not!"
"Ok, then what can I help you with Williams? Is it money? Oh wait no I got it, you need me to drive you to ballet practice?" Johnny jokes.
Carrie scoffs and looks to me with her arms crossed. "Would you hit him for me?! I'm not a little girl!"
I awkwardly smile and try to apologize on his behalf as the rest of the RORs laugh. Johnny says something before I even have enough breath to speak though.
"Alright don't take it too seriously. Is it an emergency or can it wait?" Johnny asks.
"Hmph… No, it's not an emergency. Us PNKs wanted to know if you and the boys would be willing to have dinner with us before the school year ends. We wanted to celebrate before…you know, we become too busy to see each other after we all gets Scaring jobs." Carrie says.
"How about later this week? All of us have our own plans. Javier and Chip will be seeing their parents this week and so am I. Melanie also has to go back home before her parents get worried," Johnny responds.
"Oh so are none of you going to make it to the end of the year parties at all?" Carrie questions.
"Oh no we'll be there for the last few, but the ones for this week won't work for us," Chip chimes in.
Carrie uncrosses arms and finally smiles. "Ok then, we'll talk later… Oh and bye Melody. I hope to talk to you again at some point in the future."
She does that creepy wave where she doesn't move her wrist but instead wiggles her fingers up and down in a menacing way.
"Y-yeah, sure," I blush.
We watch as she finds her way through the crowd again before disappearing entirely. I hope she finds a good Scaring job too. She deserves to live a good life like the RORs too considering all that she's done for Johnny and I.
Wait hold on, I don't know why I just realized what they were talking about.
"What is this about end of the year parties?" I ask.
"Oh, they're just the same old fraternity and sorority parties we always have. They're just at the end of the school year and they last for days on end," Johnny replies.
"And you're not going to them? Who are you?!" I tease.
The boys all laugh. Chet snorts, Bruiser chuckles so much that it sounds like he hyperventilating, Chip wheezes and Javier cackles. They're all so cute when they have a good time.
"Me? I'm the same old Johnny Worthington. It's just this time, I'm just taking it easy now since I have to learn to be responsible," Johnny says with that cocky smile of his before turning to Javier, "Hey, why don't you take everyone back to the house. I'll be back once Melanie leaves."
"Sure thing, amigo. Come on, let's go," Javier replies.
"Whaaaat? But I want to be there when Melanie leaves!" Chet complains.
"No! Melanie is a big girl and doesn't need you to be with her at all times. Let Johnny take care of this," Javier lectures.
Chet sighs before turning to me and saying his goodbyes. Bruiser and Chip do the same thing, and all of a sudden it's just Johnny and I. He smiles, and his smile makes me smile. It doesn't vanish when puts his arm around my waist while pushing me forward towards the entrance of the school.
We eventually free ourselves from the mob of monsters and find the streets toward the entrance to be almost completely empty. With the wind blowing against us, I'm reminded of all the times I walked down this street. The multicolored trees gently contrasting the brick buildings. The open fields of grass lined with steel lampposts all encased in stone and irons fences…it all reminds me of the day I first arrived here on campus. I was so alone and afraid, but now I have someone who I can consider my family that's escorting me out.
My escort does finally end when we find ourselves just outside the front entrance, where all the buses drop people off.
"Will you be alright all by yourself for one last time?" Johnny asks.
"Yeah I'll be fi- wait one last time?" I question.
"Well yeah, it's going to be you and me once I'm all packed and ready to move off campus right? I promised you that didn't I?" Johnny replies.
Yeah…he did promise a lot of things. He even promised to get my entire family out of Cormeadow and moving them up here so that they can actually live comfortably.
"Yeah, you did say that, but why are you acting like it's going to be a long time before we see each other again?" I ask worriedly.
Johnny's smiles fades and he looks to the ground. "I've been thinking about this for a little bit and I…I don't want it to be this way, but it does have to be a while before I can see you again."
He then grabs the both of my hands and doesn't let go. There's a small bit of worry that builds up inside him and he tries his hardest not to make me panic in the process of his explanation.
"There's a lot that I have to talk about with my Dad in regards to getting a job at Fear Co. or Monsters Inc. There's also the process of figuring out how to get your family out of that horrible district and… figuring out how you and I want to move forward," He explains.
"J-John, why are you putting all of that weight on your shoulders? I can be there to help you, you know," I divulge as I feel my heart rate spike.
"I-I know, I just… I just…," Johnny stutters, "Look, Mel… I know it feels unfair to leave you like this, but after everything I put you through these last few months…I just want to fix things for you. And I mean actually fix things, not just give you empty promises. The next time I see you I want you to feel like a whole new person, a happier person, not someone who still doesn't know what's going to happen to them the next day."
I understand why he feels that way, but I can't help but wonder how long that's all going to take.
"I… need to do this on my own, for your sake. As much as it hurts to leave campus and as nerve wracking as it is to talk to my parents legitimately again… I have to do it. If I don't then I'll only let you down again," Johnny continues, "I feel like it's better that we spend some time apart too. I've dragged you away from your family and pretty much caused you to give up on your dreams in both direct and indirect ways."
"J-Jo-" I manage to squeak out before being interrupted.
"Stop. You know that's true. I know how you felt about me not too long ago… Speaking of, I also need time to understand how I made you feel and work on changing the person you want me to be," He says.
He then sighs and looks in my eyes as a bus rolls up next to us and opens its doors. Johnny lets go of my hands and moves over to the steps of the bus. "Could you hold on for just one minute?"
The bus driver nods and puts the oversized vehicle in park before lounging in seat. Johnny then turns around and grabs my hands once more.
"I know that this isn't the best way to say or do this, and I know I don't have anything to give you but… would you marry me, Mel?" He spouts out of nowhere.
I feel a pang within my heart and I almost want to pass out or start crying or scream or… something. My legs nearly give out and I can barely breathe out of having no idea what to say or do.
"I can get you a ring at some point in the future and I can plan a wedding and everything but… I need you to trust me when I say that I'll see you again as soon as I can make everything ok again," He discloses.
The more I try to keep myself together, the harder it is to keep myself from holding back the tears developing in my eyes. All of the memories I have stored within my head replay within a flash. All the times I was screamed at by those I was supposed to call peers in school, all the times I was denied friendship from everyone I met, all the times my parents and I would go hungry after not having any money to pay for it, all the times I watched my parents go through the various depressive symptoms because we're lower class citizens, and the times I found myself laying in bed thinking that I would forever be unhappy because of who I was. It's all overwritten with the image of Johnny reaching out with his hand to pull me along with him.
I feel those tears roll down my face. Even if we did go through a rough patch…I can't stand being away from Johnny for so long. I have to do it though. It's a small sacrifice to make if it brings about an eternity of happiness. To be rid of everything that has plagued me since I was born… it will be like be like bathing in a pool of purifying water that cures me of a lethal disease.
"Ok…Y-yes," I say while closing my eyes and nodding.
Johnny lets go of my hands and places them perfectly under my jaw, wiping the tears away.
"Thank you, Mel… I…I love you so much," Johnny states before wrapping one arm around my waist and the other up my back and on the back of head. The pressure I feel against him is similar to that of a weighted blanket. It's comforting beyond description and I don't want to be rid of it. Feeling his head rub against mine as he purrs softly only makes it harder to say goodbye. He won't be with me again… and it hurts just as much as it did before. It's like my heart is made of paper and it's being folded.
"You don't have to feel lost anymore, Melanie. I'll be there for you no matter what…just like you will for me."
He then lets me go and pushes a few strands of my mane that are blocking my eyes back over my ear. "I'll have all your belongings sent to your house in a few days ok? And be sure to look for the gift I sent you."
Of course he pulls something like that… and tells me that when I feel like everything's collapsed all over again. I just nod and begin walking to onto the bus after he pushes me into it. While looking down at the ground, I notice that I'm still wearing Johnny's sweater and bury my face into it as I take a seat at the front of the bus and feel it jerk forward when it's put into drive.
I then look out the window and see Johnny staring at me through the window. He takes his hands, brings them up to the center of his mouth and moves them in an upwards arch pattern to indicate that he wants me to smile.
Even though this isn't how I wanted my day to end, I find myself smiling involuntarily…and that's because I'm not scared of my future anymore.
To Be Continued...