A/N: A short little silly chapter, because everyone needs some fun in their life. I still don't own Twilight. (Do I need to put that, or have we evolved enough from 2010 that I can stop putting that in my fics? XD)

~.~

"Carlisle, you are not using a spray bottle on them. Put it away or I will use it on you." Esme's 'stern' voice, that was attempting to conceal her laughter, echoed throughout the house. It was unnecessarily loud; loud enough that humans would've been able to hear it from the second story. Emmett and Cooper's soft chuckles followed. It wasn't every day you heard Esme scolding Carlisle. In fact, up until Lexi came into their lives it had been never.

Carlisle and Esme seldom argued. Both parental figures were the most levelheaded of any other member of the family, even though they were not much older. Cooper was only a year shy of Carlisle in physical age, yet mentally they couldn't quite be compared. Not to say Carlisle wasn't an enjoyable person to be around or humorous, or that Cooper couldn't be serious, but most of the time Cooper's maturity wasn't up to where Carlisle's was. Maybe 300 years on Earth did that to man.

"It's my job as her father to-…hey!"

Esme's giggles made Hensley smile. She took the opportunity to remind herself that she was surrounded by so much love. She finally had a family that she felt so attached to and who, she thought, felt the same way about her. She finally had time with her father…an actual mother figure…siblings, no matter how butthead-ish they could be…even a boyfriend. It was hard to think that this was her life sometimes. It was hard to believe this wasn't a dream. Please God let this not be a dream.

She felt a light pinch on her hip, and she lifted her head to roll her eyes at the source. Jasper kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger against her skin. The pair was lying on his bed under the covers all snuggled up. Hensley lying right up against him with her head on his chest, her new favorite place to be, only increased the feelings of contentment.

The weirdest part was listening to his chest and hearing next to nothing. No rhythmic heartbeat, no flow of blood through his body…just steady breathing as he took in her scent.

After their debacle with Emmett, their previous position had to be foregone, much to Hensley's dismay. She loved her family, but they really got in the way sometimes. And by sometimes she meant all the time. Namely her two older, yet somehow less socially responsible brothers. Part of her wondered if Cooper had always been a jokester.

"Not always. He lost it a bit when we were with Maria due to obvious reasons. He'd gotten his personality back a lot when he came to join us. Especially with Emmett. They're so similar I'm sure it would've been hard for him not to. Believe it or not even I loosened up a little when I joined the family…and of course since meeting you."

Hensley couldn't resist the urge to tease him, "This is you loose? I can't imagine what you were like when you were uptight." She propped herself up so she could see his face and give him a cheesy smirk.

"Ha. Ha. I'll have you know I've actually relaxed a lot more since you came around."

"It's true." Emmett agreed from somewhere else in the house, "He used to be totally no fun. Now he's just mostly no fun."

Jasper raised his eyebrows and dipped his head towards her, "See. Told you."

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his. He could tell she was getting tired but was trying to fight it. If only she knew how lucky she was to be able to sleep.

The hunt had done him well. It was much easier to focus on the moment, on her warm skin against his and her touch, when his throat burning wasn't in the back of his mind. He didn't thirst for her, at least he hoped he didn't, but even though the monster didn't want her blood, it did want some kind satisfaction and protested until it got it. Usually, he could push it away when they were together; she was his most important priority and the best way to spend his time. When he went too long without hunting, keeping the animal caged was harder, even with Lexi by his side.

Before they went to bed, well, before she went to bed, she took the bag of lingerie into Rosalie and Emmett's room. That way Jasper wasn't allowed to peek while she slept. No need to spoil any future surprises.

Emmett was more than happy to keep guard. Probably happier than he should've been, seeing as he also knew what it was like to be teased. Either way, she was thankful for their help. It was more fun to see Jasper in suspense. Though Jasper did threaten to burn Emmett on the spot if he dared to open it himself….

In the morning, Lexi went off to shower. She had asked Jasper if he wanted to join her, but Carlisle's sharp 'No, he doesn't' killed that plan.

With him not being graced with her naked presence, Jasper figured he should do something useful and make breakfast. Without really knowing what Lexi liked, he enlisted Carlisle's help.

"Okay, well, Lexi likes cereal…toast…pancakes, but only thin pancakes not thick pancakes." Jasper felt the need to write Carlisle's information down. He'd never forgotten anything since becoming a vampire, but the fear of forgetting something about Lexi smashed his chest in.

"Also, she doesn't like burnt toast, it must be golden. She has to have skim milk or 1% otherwise she gets sick." He should definitely be writing this down. Once he rummaged around for paper and pen, he wrote furiously on his post-its, recalling with ease every fact Carlisle had listed out.

"Why are you writing this down?" The older vampire rose his eyebrow at his son. As far as he knew, vampires didn't need notes. And there was no reason to pretend to take notes in front of the family….

"So I can't forget." Jasper muttered, "Keep going."

Carlisle understood none of what Jasper was saying, but continued anyway, "Well, okay."

In the end, Jasper had 7 post-it notes full of information and no breakfast prepared. Hensley thought it was adorable.

Thankfully Carlisle and Esme had gone grocery shopping, something Hensley really hadn't done herself yet. She'd been outside for months and yet the boys were the only ones who'd made it out to shop. Working 4-7pm left little motivation for buying food after school and she'd been so distracted by her family and training on the weekends…at least Hensley paid the boys for her share.

Having a whole new kitchen full of food to look at was mind-boggling. She took her time to open every cupboard and observe all the different kinds of snacks, quick meals, and sides. Cereals Hensley had never heard of, all the toast toppings, rice, vegetables, fun noodle packets, deserts in boxes…something called hot chocolate? It was probably like an MRE for chocolate, which sounded amazing.

She settled for cereal since she spent so much time marveling at the food instead of eating it. Her cereal was fun little squares with cinnamon sugar on them. It was the sweetest cereal she'd ever had in her life. Normally the boys bought small donut-shaped cereal. Not as sweet as you'd think unless they got the honey flavored kind. The honey flavored one was her favorite.

"Skim milk always has a pink cap." Carlisle continued to teach Jasper about human food through her breakfast. It was cute to see them like this.

"How is that?" Jasper pointed to her cereal. She gave him a thumbs up and a smile, so he wrote down the name of the cereal with a check mark next to it that way he knew she liked it.

"She doesn't like whole-grain bread because it's got the grain pieces in it. Wheat bread is fine. White bread is the best."

Whole-grain bread…'x'.

Carlisle nodded and continued, "Also, little to no butter on toast because she gets sick. Really, little to no butter in anything. And the butter is always salted-"

"Unless you're some kind of animal." Emmett chimed in, taking a seat next to Hensley.

"Have I ever had unsalted butter?" Hensley didn't even know there was different butter….

"No-"

"Because you're not an animal." Emmett cut Carlisle off again.

Her father rolled his eyes, trying to ignore Emmett's outbursts, "Now, mac and cheese is always best in the spiral shapes, never the normal elbows. Shells and cheese are a good substitute though. Smooth pasta sauce, not chunky. No whole tomatoes. She doesn't like strawberries because she doesn't like the texture of the seeds. She also doesn't like melon of any kind." Carlisle glanced up at the ceiling while he continued thinking, "Let's see…pizza is best with stuffed crust."

Hensley gasped, "Stuffed crust!"

Carlisle gestured to her while Jasper underlined stuffed crust.

"Are you going to do this all day today?" Emmett asked. He had only been there two minutes and he was already bored, judging by his expression.

"Maybe. Depends on if it takes all day." Jasper continued writing, easily able to hear both conversations at once.

Hensley pretended to pout, "Aww. I was hoping we could snuggle."

Jasper snapped the pen down so hard on the counter Hensley was afraid he'd break it. He looked up at Carlisle, who had paused at the sound. "We have to continue this later."

Hensley giggled, trying not to spit out her cereal. Carlisle chuckled as well, agreeing that, "We can continue this when she's at work tonight."

"Perfect." Jasper walked around the island to wrap an arm around Lexi's shoulders. She snuggled into him, trying to finish her cereal as quickly as possible so they could actually be together. For whatever reason, she had really craved his touch lately.

"What are we doing until Lexi has to work? Something fun right? Hats on squirrels?"

"Is that a thing?" Hensley was far too excited about Emmett's suggestion – the thought of snuggling completely foregone. It sounded so cute though. And what a good dexterity challenge.

"You're not doing that again." Carlisle shut the idea down. But what did he mean again?

"Last time it was cowboy hats, but Cooper found these little party hats-" That was all Emmett needed to say. Hensley looked up at Jasper with begging eyes and stuck her bottom lip out. Jasper would defy Carlisle for her, right?

He absolutely would. "Alright, one package of-"

The three, Hensley, Emmett, and Cooper, all shouted 'yes' without allowing Jasper to finish. She and Emmett met Cooper by the back door, Hensley bouncing on her toes.

"We should make a competition of it!" She exclaimed, "First one to put all their hats on squirrels!"

Cooper nudged Emmett, "She's a god-damn genius."

"Well, now, hold on." Jasper interjected, "how do we know who has what? How do we know Emmett ain't gunna cheat and drop his hats off in the woods and claim ours as his own?"

Emmett gaped at his little brother, looking quite offended, "How dare you. What have I ever cheated at?"

Cooper tucked the party hats under his arm so he could count on his fingers, "Scrabble, Monopoly, Halo, Battleship-"

"I have never cheated at battleship." Hensley was quick to note that Emmett did not deny cheating at any other game Cooper had listed. She made a mental note to watch Emmett like a hawk if she ever played a game with him.

Cooper thought for a moment, then chuckled, "Oh, nope. That was me. Sorry."

Emmett took grave offense to Cooper's one crime, turning on his brother with a harshness that was not at all called for. "I knew it! How dare you?! How'd you do it?"

"Well, Alice was sitting behind you and when I'd make a guess, she'd point left, right, up, or down to tell me where your boats were. Sometimes I'd decide on what I was gunna tell ya, and she'd see it and shake her head yes or no."

Hensley also made a note not to play games with Alice in the room.

Emmett looked between Cooper and Alice, who had been sitting on the couch. Hands on his hips, he shook his head, "Well, now I am disappointed."

Hensley was unable to keep her composure at that, busting out laughing at Emmett's display. The irony was too funny.

"You did hear all the things Cooper listed you cheating at, right?" Jasper made Hensley's point. "You know what, never mind. We're wasting time. We'll each take a stack of hats, the same number, and we'll put the first letter of our names on 'em so we can tell them apart."

That was agreeable to the group and once the preparations were complete, they started the game. Whoever could put their ten hats on squirrels the fastest won.

Lexi didn't notice until a few minutes in that Jasper had put "J & L" on his hats. Adorable.

Cooper, Hensley, and Jasper took a fast and hard approach, using their speed to catch the squirrel and place a hat on it. Emmett attempted for stealthy at first, until he scared the squirrel and he had to use speed to catch it before it got away anyway. Jasper did a little cheating of his own, but not to benefit himself - catching squirrels and giving them to Hensley to put her hat on them.

Cooper noticed their teamwork when Lexi had two hats left and demanded Emmett be his partner.

"I'm not associating myself with a cheater!" Emmett had called back. The double standard was just too damn good.

"Done!" Lexi shouted, holding her hands up like she was in a cooking competition. When Emmett shouted that he was going for second, she started helping Jasper with his hats. She ran around, frantically looking for more squirrels, which was harder than it had been in the beginning. Little things caught wind of their adventure it seemed.

She caught as many as she could, gathering them up in her arms and hugging them to her chest to keep them still and safe. Lexi giggled at herself. The image of her had to of been amazing.

Amazing it was. The remaining family members watched from the roof, shaking their heads at the antics.

"I thought she was supposed to break up this behavior, not encourage it." Rosalie muttered to the rest of the family. Being that Lexi was half-vampire, it made sense for the boys to calm down around her, not get riled up.

"She doesn't get to do silly things on the inside." Carlisle shrugged it off with an easy smile, enjoying hearing his daughter's happiness. "At least this is harmless."

"True." Alice nodded, "They could've suggested bear wrestling."

"We should do that next!" Emmett shouted followed quickly by Jasper's sharp 'No' which was followed by Lexi's 'Aww.'

The Cullens chuckled amongst themselves.

Charlie Swan often defended the Cullens to the townsfolk, always talking about how little trouble they caused him and the town…if only he knew.