Chapter 2
As the Straw Hats and I continued to stared at each other, it started to become pretty awkward. I said the only thing I could think of to break the ice.
"Uh, hi?"
"Holy crap, a living skeleton!" Luffy and Usopp shouted in excitement and fear, respectively.
"Never a dull moment with this crew, is there?" Sanji muttered. Zoro shook his head in response.
"Here's an idea," I said. "How about we all calm down and introduce ourselves, okay? My name is Declan."
"My name is Luffy and I'm the captain of this crew," The Rubber-Man responded., He then gestured to the others. "And this is Nami, Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji. We're pirates."
"You guys are pirates?" I asked, acting clueless. It seemed like a better idea than saying "I'm from another world and I know everything about you guys."
"Sure are, and you are a skeleton," Luffy said. "Anyway, do you poop?"
We all stood there in silence, shocked at such an absurdthe absurdity of the question.
"Shouldn't you have, like, a million other things to ask me besides that!?" I exclaimed.
"Okay, how about you join my crew?" he asked. "Then you can answer all of them for me."
This time, it was his crew that spoke up. "Are you kidding?!"
"Luffy, you can't just invite anything you want to join us!" Nami yelled. I felt kind of insulted, being referred to as a 'thing,' but whatever.
"Awww, come on, Nami. I'm the captain!" Luffy whined. "I promise I'll water him, feed him, and take him for walks." This time, I felt insulted for different reasons.
"Can we please take a moment to ask what a living skeleton is doing out here in the first place!?" Usopp said. I figured one of them would eventually ask that. I had a simple response to it.
"I ate a Devil Fruit," I said simply.
"That doesn't explain why you're out here punching trees," he said.
"I only ate my fruit a few days ago," I explained. "I came out here to test out my powers."
"Cool, so will you join my crew?" Luffy asked again.
"Sure," I said before addressing the rest of the crew. "And don't worry, I swear I won't be a burden."
I received only deadpan stares from the crew in response, except for Luffy, who looked ecstatic..
I calmly attempted to smooth things over, saying, "Come on, guys, don't look at me like that. I promise I'm a good guy." I looked around at the crew, trying to gauge their reactions. "How about I do some tricks? Would that win anyone over?"
All I got was silence.
"Okay, first, I'll need a volunteer. How about you?" I said, pointing at Nami.
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Just come over here."
"Hey," Sanji warned. "You better not try anything funny with her."
"No need to worry," I assured him as Nami came over. I turned to face her. "Slap me."
She was obviously surprised by this. "What?"
"You heard me. Slap me across the face like a bitch."
She hesitated but decided to comply. Her hand hit my face and my head went spinning—literally, my skull kept spinning around and around on my neck. I grabbed my skull to make the spinning stop and saw the crew looking at me in shock.
"And for my next trick," I said before darting behind a tree. After a moment, I calmly walked back out from behind it.
"Were you gonna follow that up with anything?" Zoro asked.
"Yes, I was," came a voice—my voice to be exact… and it came— from behind the tree.
To Luffy's excitement and his crew's further shock, another skeleton walked out from behind the tree.
"What do you think?" the other skeleton and I asked in perfect unison with our identical voices. "I can clone myself.," I said.
"Whoa, so cool!" Luffy was obviously sold. "Can you make more?"
"Sorry, I can only make one. I did give him a name though," I explained.
"What's his name, then?"
"I call him Skeleton Buddy."
"What kind of name is that?" Zoro asked incredulously.
Skeleton Buddy beat me to the answer. "It's a name I happen to like."
"Why?" Usopp asked.
"Because it's hilarious," Skeleton Buddy and I both answered.
No one in the crew seemed to get the humor, so things weren't really going my way. Despite my best efforts to entertain them and show off my amazing talents, Luffy's crew still didn't seem so keen on Skeleton Buddy and I joining their gang.
Ignoring the skepticism from my new crewmates, I dispelled my copy-self and asked, "So, what's on our to-do list for today, captain?"
"We're going to hit some stores in Loguetown for supplies., After that, we're headed for the Grand Line."
"Got it." With that, we all made our way into town.
"So, who handles the money for this crew?" I asked.
"That would be me. Why?" Nami asked in response.
"I'd like to go buy some transponder snails. That's why," I told her. "This crew may be kinda small right now, but I figure we're gonna keep growing, so we'll need to be able to stay in touch."
She obviously still didn't fully trust me, but she knew I had a point. She gave Zoro a hundred thousand beris for new swords, and I got two hundred thousand for the snails.
We all split up to buy our stuff. I decided to head to the pet store I'd seen earlier, hoping they might have transponder snails there. As I walked, I noticed people stopping and staring at me. A living skeleton wandering through town will do that.
Eventually I found the pet shop. As I walked inside, a guy, who I assume was the cashier, was reading a newspaper. He hadn't noticed me yet.
"Excuse me, sir?" I asked politely. "Do you have transponder snails?"
"Yep, they're in that section over the—" He stopped mid-sentence as he finally looked up from his paper at the skeleton standing before him.
"Don't freak out, man," I said, hoping he would keep his cool. "I just came here to buy some snails."
"Uhh, okay," he muttered, clearly doubtful of me. "Like I said, snails are over there."
I went to where he pointed and started browsing. I eventually settled for three modestly priced baby transponder snails.
"I'll take these three." I handed the money to the cashier, who was more at ease now.
"Nice choice," he replied, his eyes darting all around the store. When he saw we were the only ones in the place, he whispered to me. "Would you be interested in anything more…exotic while you're here?"
If I'd still had eyes, I would have'd narrowed them.
"Go on," I said.
He gestured for me to follow him, walked over to the wall, and opened up a secret door.
I followed him through and I was treated to a surprising sight. All sorts of animals sat, lay, and paced in cages of various sizes—Puzzle Scorpions, Lapahns, and even a Kung-Fu Dugong, in addition to various species I didn't recognize. As I tried to ignore how illegal all these must be, there was one creature that caught my nonexistent eye.
It resembled a ferret, except it was a little bigger than normal. Its fur was mostly white, except for some red markings on its head, legs, and back. It had black sclera and red irises, but the most striking feature of all was its tail, twice as long as its body and had with what I could only describe as bladed vertebrae covering half of it. In short, it looked just like a certain Yu-Gi-Oh! card.
"I think I'll take that one," I said.
"Going with the fire ferret, eh?" He must have expected me to pick something else. "Interesting choice. There's also this to go with it if you want."
"What is it?" I wondered aloud. He was holding out what looked like some sort of high-tech collar.
"It's a talker collar," he said. "I'm sure you can guess what it does."
"Who would make something like this?" I asked.
"Well, rumor has it that the government scientist, Dr. Vegapunk, had a nasty case of inventor's block at one point, and he made a couple of these to try to inspire himself., But I'm not actually sure," he responded.
I nodded, and then quickly bought the fire ferret. Fortunately, it was cheap, since it had been giving the shady store clerk a bit of trouble. I had a feeling that throwing in the collar was another added benefit to entice some sucker like me into buying it. I may not have thought this purchase all the way through, but I was a little distracted by the idea of owning a Yu-Gi-Oh! monster.
Exiting the store, I started looking for my new crew. As I made my way through town, I saw my reflection in a couple of store windows and compared myself with the other living skeleton of the One Piece universe, Brook. I noticed two things. First, my skull was looked a little more realistic than his. Second, unlike him, I couldn't make any facial expressions at all, but that was an acceptable loss.
I then decided to ask around for a Log Pose, knowing we'd need one to navigate the Grand Line's magnetic fields. Predictably, quite a few people got nervous when a living skeleton walked up and asked them where to buy stuff.
"T-They're sold in that store over there," one frightened man finally told me.
After buying a Log Pose, draining the rest of the money Nami gave me, I remembered my new acquaintance.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot to put this collar on you." I grabbed the ferret by the scruff of its neck. The little thing squirmed a bit as I was putting it on, but I finally managed to secure it in place.
"Get this stupid thing o—wait, I can talk now?" the ferret asked in a feminine voice. "Bitchin', this collar really works!"
"You're welcome," I said. "So, you have a name, or do I need to come up with one for you?"
"My name is Fencer," she clarified.
So, instead of Fencing Fire Ferret, I got Fencer the fire ferret? I just stood there for a few seconds, letting that ridiculously coincidental name sink in.
"Uhhh, okay," I managed to respond. "Anyway, I'm Declan, and we need to get back to our crew's ship before they leave."
We made our way through town to find our ship. It began to rain softly when we passed by the wreckage of the execution platform.
Hold on. The wreckage? The rain? That meant I had missed the scene in One Piece where Luffy had a near-death experience! I couldn't believe I'd missed that; it was a really memorable moment in the show. How much time had I wasted getting my stuff when I could have been spending time with the crew?!
I picked up the pace once I realized this meant the Marines would be after us now. As I ran, I saw Zoro arguing with Tashigi.
"HiZoro!!"I said quickly as I dashed by. Zoro only spared me a glance while Tashigi gawked at the the strange sight of a skeleton with a ferret on his shoulder running by.
Having just hatched a small idea, I started taking a more roundabout route to the ship. After going in a bit of a circle, hoping I knew where I was going, I caught sight of Smoker grasping Luffy with a cloud of smoke.
I tiptoed up behind the marine captain and grabbed his jitte. He noticed me as soon as I took his weapon, but the distraction made him drop my captain. I swung the jitte, and instead of turning to smoke and letting it pass through him, he dodged it normally. Not surprising, considering he knew it had sea-prism stone in it.
"Sorry for giving you an order, captain, but you need to run! I'll be following," I said to Luffy while scanning the area for a certain someone.
"But Declan—" Luffy protested.
"Trust me, I have a plan!" I shouted, finally spotting the man I was looking for.
Whether it was from taking an order from a subordinate or leaving a new friend behind, Luffy frowned, but he obeyed and ran.
Smoker glared at me for ruining his catch. "He won't get far. When I'm done with you, he's next."
"Yeahyeahyeah, whatever," I said nonchalantly. "Hey, look, it's Dragon the Revolutionary!"
Smoker's glare remained unchanged. "Do I look like a child to you?"
I kept going. "No, I'm serious! He's up on that building over there, looking all cool!"
Still unfazed, Smoker looked like he was ready to attack me. Dragon, keeping his distance, actually seemed a little amused by the interaction.
I made the first move before Smoker could. I threw the jitte at him and started running as fast as I could.
I found my way to the shore with Smoker hot on my tail. I saw Zoro, Sanji, and Usopp there, with Luffy preparing his Gum-Gum Slingshot.
"Wait for me, guys!" I shouted, dashing towards them as Luffy launched himself and the crew with his slingshot.
I barely managed to jump into their path, joining them in their skyward trajectory.
We all went flying, arcing towards the Going Merry. The crew landed on the deck in a tangled heap. As for me? I shattered to pieces when I hit the boards.
The sight of that it shocked Nami and upset Luffy. Although the rest of the crew looked like they had mixed feelings about my apparent 'death.' Lucky for them, they wouldn't have to wrangle with those feelings just yet.
"Holy crap, Declan's dead!" Luffy shouted.
"No, I'm not," I said.
The crew slowly turned to where my skull had landed. Time to show off another trick of mine.
"Reassembly!" I shouted. Like magic, my bones levitated off the ground, floated towards each other, and put themselves together to reform my skeleton body.
The crew's collective jaws dropped.
"Pretty cool, huh?" I said, trying not to brag.
"So cool!" Luffy shouted.
Suddenly, a cannonball landed near the ship with an enormous splash..
"Shit, the Marines are still firing!" Sanji yelled.
Nami snapped out of her stupor and started directing us to sail away.
"Usopp, take the helm! Sanji, Zoro, handle the rigging!"
I quickly realized why this was happening. By saving Luffy from Smoker myself, Dragon had no reason to intervene, meaning that the Marines' cannons were still intact.
I leaped into the air and knocked away a cannonball that would've hit the ship. Luffy realized what I was doing and started using his balloon technique to bounce cannonballs away. I knocked another cannonball away only for a third to sail past me. I could only watch in horror as it flew towards our ship.
"I got this!" Fencer yelled. I had left her on the deck when I'd started protecting the ship. She climbed up the mast and jumped toward the cannonball. She then did a vertical 360 in the air, slicing the ball in two with her tail and before landing safely back on the deck.
With all of us working together to defend the ship, we were eventually able to shake the Marines, and Nami spotted a light nearby.
"That light…It's a sign… of where our journey to the Grand Line truly begins!"
Sanji moved a barrel to the middle of the deck. "Everybody, what do you say we mark an occasion like this?"
I walked out of the kitchen, having just put the transponder snails on the Merry's kitchen table for the time being, and noticed everyone agreeing.
"I'm going to find the All Blue!" Sanji declared, putting his foot on the barrel.
"I'm gonna be the King of the Pirates!"
"I'm going to be the world's greatest swordsman!"
"I'm going to draw a map of the whole world!"
"I'm going to be a brave warrior of the sea!"
They all looked at me.
"What about you, Declan?" Luffy asked.
"I…"
This part had always slipped my mind. I'd never had any big dreams of my own, so I didn't know how I could contribute to this. I was frozen.
"Psst, say something, dummy," Fencer whispered loudly to me.
I thought fast.
"I…just want to spend time with my friends," I said softly.
That was good enough for Luffy, though the rest of the crew didn't seem impressed. I had a long way to go if I wanted to truly be one of them.
"Alright then," Luffy announced. "Off to the Grand Line!"
Almost immediately after saying that, he took notice of Fencer.
"Hey, Declan, what's that thing?"