Chapter 12

Hey, everyone. Sorry it took so freaking long to get around to this chapter. I've been going through and revising all my previous chapters, not to mention working on some new fics.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before we reached the shores of Erumalu. Vivi sent Carue off to deliver the letter, and then it was time for my favorite part: the kung fu dugongs. They were just as cute in person as they were through a TV screen! With those big, dugong faces and their flippers, they were freakin' adorable.

After Usopp got his ass kicked by a dugong, I hopped onto the shore and challenged one of them myself.

"Fencer, if you would be so kind..."

Leaping off my shoulder and landing in between us, she raised her paw and slammed it down. "Fight!"

As this was my first real fight against another martial artist, I was feeling kind of tentative. Unfortunately, my opponent capitalized on this and made the first move. Before I could react, he grabbed my pelvis and ribcage and threw me over his head like I weighed nothing.

"Heh, I forgot how light I am now!" I said, rolling onto my stomach. Before I could get to my feet, the dugong was already in front of me, clenching his flipper in my face.

I just chuckled. "Should've hit me when you had the chance."

I lunged forward, tackling him to the ground with my hands around his throat. He tried to get me to let go by striking my elbows and bending my fingers until they felt like they were breaking, but I powered through and eventually, he tapped out.

After persuading the dugongs not to follow us into the desert, we set off. Vivi took it upon herself to give us a history lesson once we got to Erumalu. I groaned internally and waited for her to finish. Man, I'd thought all this was boring when I was just watching the anime, but there was no fast forward button in real life.

"Wake up!" Fencer snapped me out of my daze. "You've been zoning out for"—she stopped to think about it for a second—"I don't know how long!"

Looking around, I saw that the sun was starting to set. The crew had already set up camp for the night. "How long was I daydreaming?"

"A couple hours," Usopp answered. "We had to stop you from wandering away once or twice. You seemed like you were in your own little world."

That made Luffy gasp. "He must've been in his own world because he's an alien!"

I chuckled at that. "Speaking of aliens, hey Mantax, why does your venom just numb people? I thought it paralyzed them."

"Ah, right, you would know about that, wouldn't you?" Mantax said. "Well, for some reason or another, when I landed in this world, I was mutated into this form once again."

"Once again?" Vivi questioned.

Mantax held up a hand. "Let's not make this story longer than it needs to be. I was mutated into this form once before. But this time, I can breathe air in addition to water, and my venom is numbing and not paralytic."

I nodded. I wondered why Mantax had become so different in this world, but then, my own body had become quite different as well.

Eventually, everyone decided to go to sleep. Before they did, I approached our newest crew member. "Hey, Chopper, can I borrow a book about human skeletons?"

"Sure thing, why?" the little reindeer asked.

"I don't sleep, so I always try to find something to do. I thought it'd be fitting to learn more about skeletons, since I am one."

Chopper sifted through his medical books to find the one I was looking for. "Here you go. Hey, isn't reading in the dark bad for your…" He paused, looking into my empty sockets. "Never mind."

Before I started reading, I decided now would be a good time to check on Fencer's progress. I called her over and quizzed her on her spelling abilities. She was getting much better, but she was easily bored, so it wasn't long before she decided to go to bed along with everyone else. That left me alone to read through my bone book.

Who the hell decided the skull needed so many sections?!

Everyone except me woke up to a sandstorm. After we dug ourselves out, Usopp stormed up to me and Vivi. "You two need to start remembering stuff like this!"

I shrugged. "I didn't pay much attention to this part in the manga because it was boring and not much stuff happened. Besides, I suffered for this even more than you guys."

"Oh yeah? How?" Fencer deadpanned.

"I got sand in every. Joint. In my body. Do you know how uncomfortable that is?" To get the sand out, I let myself fall apart and then reassembled myself.

And so our boring trek through the desert resumed. It was like being on the ship all over again, just waiting to get to our next destination.

As Luffy dashed towards a rock formation with our stuff, it triggered a memory. This was the part where those desert birds steal our stuff! I made Skeleton Buddy poof into existence next to me and transferred Fencer to him. Figuring I might not be fast enough to catch our captain in time, SB grabbed me and wound up for a throw.

Right before he launched me into the air, I said to the crew, "Notimetoexplaingottagobye!" With that, my clone threw me toward the rocks.

The sand was soft enough that I didn't shatter upon landing. Thankfully, I'd made it before Luffy had gotten our stuff stolen by those bandit birds.

I addressed my captain, "Hey, Luffy, what's going on here?"

"I found these sick-looking birds and I was gonna get Chopper to help them," Luffy said, looking at the birds with concern.

I opened my mouth to reply before a brilliant idea hit me. Fighting not to chuckle, I replied, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. These birds look pretty suspicious."

Luffy tilted his head. "What are you talking about? No, they don't."

"Yeah, they do."

"No, they don't."

Time for the switcharoo. "No, they don't."

"Yeah, they do."

"No, they don't."

"Yeah, they do."

"Well, Luffy, if you think those birds seem suspicious, I guess we'll just leave 'em alone." I couldn't believe I'd pulled that off. But then again, this was Luffy I was talking to.

My captain nodded. "That's right." Then he paused. "Wait a minute!"

Fortunately, the others finally showed up, meaning I'd stalled him for long enough.

"What was that about?" Zoro asked.

"I just stopped Luffy from losing our supplies to a bunch of birds," I said, making Skeleton Buddy disappear with a thought.

Ace smiled. "Yeah, that sounds like Luffy."

With that, we kept moving. After all, Luffy hadn't led any giant lizard monsters back to us, so there was no reason for us to stick around. However, after traveling just a short distance, we ran into a bunch of plant monsters that looked like venus flytraps and—surprise, surprise—inside one of them was the camel I knew we'd get on this trip.

As Zoro cut the plants into pieces, a Sandora dragon made its way toward us. I considered doing something, but I figured if the monster trio could handle it in canon, there was no reason why they should need me now.

That got me thinking in a bad way. What if I was just a third wheel on this whole adventure?

"Hey, dude?" Fencer tapped me on the head.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Those plants and the lizard are dead, so you're gonna need to wake up now. Also, we got a free camel out of the deal, and we're about to name him. Any ideas?"

"Idiot," Luffy suggested.

"Moron," Sanji said.

"Doofus," Usopp spat out.

"Other chef." Mantax had to block a kick for that comment.

"Eyelash it is," Vivi declared. I noticed that Nami hadn't tried sweet-talking the camel this time. Granted, she didn't really need to, given the camel was a sucker for ladies, but still. As she and Vivi mounted it, our navigator asked Fencer, "You boarding?"

The fire ferret shrugged. "Nah, I've already got a ride," she said, gesturing to me.

"So that's how you see me?" I asked.

"Well, yeah. You carry me pretty much everywhere," she replied. "No offense or anything."

I chuckled. "Oh, I'm not offended, just amused."

"I know we're not supposed to ask for spoilers, Declan, but are there any more plants, animals, or sandstorms we'll have to deal with soon?" Usopp asked worriedly.

Mantax spoke up before I could. "Whatever we encounter can't be any worse than the desert dwellers from my dimension."

"The what?" asked Sanji.

"Sand Tarakava, Catapult Scorpions, Nui-Jaga, and the occasional Spiny Stone Ape," the Barraki listed.

We all stood there silently until Luffy asked, "Hey, Declan? What are those things he just said?"

I began counting off my fingers as we started walking again. "The Catapult Scorpion and Nui-Jaga are basically giant scorpion monsters, the Spiny Stone Ape is pretty much what it sounds like, and the Sand Tarakava is a… thingy."

"It's a large creature resembling a lizard," Mantax explained.

"I beg to differ," I muttered. Tarakava didn't look like any real-life animals.

It wasn't long before I became bored out of my skull yet again, having to fight not to wander off in a daze like last time.

I wasn't the only one. The more immature members of the crew (take a wild guess) began complaining about how long this trip was taking. Eventually, Mantax got fed up with them. He pulled off my right arm, bent it at a right angle, and handed it to them.

"Here's a boomerang. Now be quiet."

Fortunately, this seemed to satisfy them, and they took turns throwing it and letting it return. Perhaps I should have objected, but I didn't really mind, so I said nothing, and Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper continued their game for a while.

However, after one particularly strong throw, their boomerang didn't come back. The seconds passed by, and still there was nothing.

"Did it get caught on something?" Luffy wondered aloud.

"We're in a barren desert. There's nothing for it to get caught on," Sanji pointed out.

At this point, I remembered I could just call my arm back on my own. "Reassembly!"

Suddenly, I felt a white-hot bolt of pain in my detached arm. It returned seconds later, covered in a web of fractures.

"Sanji, did you pack any milk in our supplies?" I asked, grinding my teeth in pain.

The chef dug through his bag before pulling out a small bottle and handing it to me. "Here you go. I figured you'd get hurt at some point or another."

As I poured the milk on my damaged bones, I asked, "What the hell did this? Did you guys hit another Sandora dragon?"

As if on cue, there was a deep rumbling noise in the distance, getting louder.

"I think we're about to find out," Zoro said.

Before we knew what to do next, a giant creature erupted from the sand. It looked like a cross between a dragon and a sea turtle. I couldn't believe my eye sockets. It was a—

"Tartaronis!" Vivi yelled.

We all scattered as the elder dragon dove for the spot where we'd been standing. After re-entering the sand, it did a U-turn and leaped at us again.

Ace attempted to finish things quickly. "Fire Fist!"

The Tartaronis simply powered through the flames, sustaining very little damage. The monster trio went next, trying the fighting combo they'd done on the Sandora dragon. However, the beast sank into the sand so that only its tough shell was exposed. None of their attacks worked on it. The elder dragon lunged again, and Usopp and Chopper barely managed to keep out of its jaws.

"You seem to be familiar with this creature. Does it have any weaknesses?" Mantax asked Vivi. The princess shook her head. The Barraki groaned and then called out, "Everyone, target its head when it surfaces again!"

We all nodded and scattered as the Tartaronis came back around. As it lunged again, Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji attacked the left side of its head while Ace, Mantax, and I struck at the right side for the ultimate double whammy.

We all paused briefly to see if our attacks had done the job. The Tartaronis sat still for a moment before shaking its head, shrugging off the assault like all the others. It opened its mouth and inhaled deeply. The suction pulled us all toward its gaping maw with incredible strength. It was getting harder and harder to stay on our feet.

Usopp's satchel nearly flew off his shoulder. He managed to grab it, but several items fell out and were sucked into the Tartaronis's mouth.

Suddenly, the beast stopped inhaling. For a moment, it looked like it was smiling, which was creepy. It slowly began turning around, growling, its eyes never leaving us.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why'd it just up and leave?" Sanji asked.

Ace grinned. "If that thing was anything like Luffy, then giving it something to eat must have been enough to calm it down."

"No argument here," Zoro agreed. "Hey, Usopp, what exactly did it eat from your bag?"

The sniper did a quick check through his satchel. "Some of my Tabasco Stars are missing. I guess that thing likes spicy food."

Fencer looked critically at me and Vivi. "Any other giant monsters we should know about?"

"I had no idea we'd meet a Tartaronis on this journey," Vivi retorted. "No one has seen one in over a decade."

"I didn't know either. That thing isn't from One Piece. I never would've expected it," I defended.

"I guess that's fair," Fencer conceded. "And now that I think about it, Luffy's the one who got that thing's attention in the first place."

Nami's eyes narrowed at that. "Thanks for pointing that out. Hey, Luffy?"

"Yeah?"

WHAM!

Luffy recoiled. "OW! That…hurt?"

"Well, yeah, that's what punches do," Ace snarked.

The captain shook his head. "No, I mean, that really hurt. Did you get stronger, Nami?"

Nami blinked and looked at her hands. "I don't think so. I mean, I feel the same."

"How about we test it out?" I suggested. "Try punching me."

Nami looked hesitant.

"Come on, it'll be just like when we first met! Besides, I'll block it, so no worries."

After another moment, she nodded and drew back her hand. I caught the punch, but the impact made me slide back, and not just because we were standing on sand.

"Definitely stronger," Usopp commented.

"Very nice. The navigator is apparently stronger than she was before. Can we go now?" Mantax droned.

We glared at him but got back to walking like he said. As we did, Luffy asked me an interesting question, "Hey, Declan, what did you look like before you ate your Devil Fruit?"

"You mean he wasn't always a skeleton?" Ace wondered aloud.

"No, I wasn't," I said. 'Right, I only met the crew after I became a skeleton.'

"Well, now I'm curious too," Usopp turned to face me. "What did you look like as normal person?"

"Uh, well, I had dark brown hair and eyes. I also had facial hair."

And so, we continued on our epic—oh, who am I kidding? We just walked all day, every day for several days, then everyone but me slept each night. Eventually, Ace determined that Blackbeard wasn't in Alabasta, causing Luffy to ask me another question, "You knew that, right? How come you didn't tell him?"

"Wait, he knew Blackbeard wasn't here? How?" Ace asked.

"Because he's an alien," Luffy explained.

"You need to elaborate," everyone else deadpanned.

"I'll handle it," I sighed. It was getting a little tiresome having to explain this over and over again. "In the world I'm from, there's a comic book called One Piece. Technically it's a manga, but I really don't care. Anyway, One Piece is a story about Luffy and his crew, so I know a lot about how most of his journey will play out."

Ace raised an eyebrow. "Mind proving it?"

"Excuse us a moment," I told everyone. Passing Fencer to Zoro, I wrapped an arm around Ace's shoulders and started leading him away. Once we'd crossed a dune, I figured we were out of sight and earshot, so I told Ace a secret I shouldn't have known. "I know your father is Gold Roger."

The young man's hat overshadowed his eyes. "Alright, I believe you. So why didn't you tell me Blackbeard wasn't here?"

"Because one, this is the only time our crew gets to meet you, so I wanted to make it last, and two, I know where Blackbeard will be, so you can find him anyway," I explained. Ace opened his mouth to demand the info, but I held up a hand. "Before you say anything, any chance I can talk you out of this little manhunt of yours?"

He frowned. "No."

I sighed. "Then at least get help for when you find him, because I promise, if you fight him alone, he's gonna knock your flaming ass out."

Ace narrowed his eyes. "Are you calling me gay?"

"What? No, I was just, y'know, referencing how, uh, how hot you are," I backpedaled.

…POW!

I admit, I brought that punch on myself. Once I recovered from it though, I continued pitching my backup idea. "Anyway, I know a guy you can bring with you. Do you like surprises?"

Ace frowned. "Not anymore."

It took me a few seconds to realize what he meant. "Oh, right. Anyway, to find the guy I have in mind, you'll have to find the revolutionaries and meet their chief of staff."

"Why? And not just that, how am I supposed to find this guy? In case you didn't know, the revolutionaries are super secretive. No one knows where to find them," Ace complained.

"I know someone who may be able to help you," Mantax's voice came out of nowhere.

"AAHH!" We both were naturally startled.

"Quit doing that!" Ace shouted.

Mantax continued as if no one had said anything. "I wasn't the only one from my dimension who was thrown into this one. Several other beings came with me as well. One of them is a lowlife named Takadox."

"He's here?" I interjected.

"Among a few others, yes," Mantax replied. "Now, as I was saying, since we arrived in this dimension, he's taken up work as a mercenary to get by. I think he's crafty enough to help you find this revolutionary the skeleton was talking about."

"Are you sure?" Ace asked.

The black Barraki nodded. "I am. Just be sure to have plenty of money on hand. Knowing him, he won't help you for free. Also, don't look him in the eye."

Ace raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"And why are you giving so much free advice?" I asked Mantax. "I know for a fact that you're not that kind."

That actually got a chuckle out of the—did the word 'man' even apply to this guy?

"Correct. I'm not suggesting an ally out of the goodness of my heart," he said before returning his attention to Ace. "To answer your question, he can hypnotize people with eye contact, and he wouldn't hesitate to capture you and claim your reward." Before the young pirate could say anything, Mantax continued. "Just stay on your toes and you'll be fine. I'm telling you this because when you've finished your business, I want you to give that traitor the beating he deserves."

I nodded. "Now that sounds more like you."

Ace seemed a bit unsatisfied. "So, I have to find a guy to find another guy, and I don't get any clues about either?"

"Takadox is tall, blue, and has red eyes. If you ask around for him in enough places, he'll seek you out," Mantax explained.

"Why?" Ace asked.

"To find out if you want a favor or if you're after his head."

"Blackbeard will be at Banaro Island," I added. "Once you find the guys we recommended, head there."

With that, we rejoined the crew. Ace gave Luffy a Vivre card and went on his way. Then, we resumed our trek to Yuba.

After another long, boring day of walking, we finally reached the town. As Vivi was having her little reunion with Toto, I realized I had neglected to tell them yet another piece of important information.

Then Toto dropped that info on them, "Those fools have left Yuba."

I hadn't told anyone that the rebels were located elsewhere, let alone where Crocodile was. Now everyone was glaring at me, some comically, some seriously.

"You knew all along?!" Vivi growled.

"I didn't think very hard about any of this! I've only planned out bits and pieces," I blurted out. It was the only excuse I had, cheap as it was.

"That's it?" Zoro asked. "Vivi may be forgetful, but at least she bothers to tell us where to go."

"I say we take turns hitting him for wasting our time," Mantax suggested. That made everyone look at him funny. "What? The skeleton told me you people tend to do that in this type of situation."

Thinking fast—except not really—I started talking. "Alright, you guys want me to do something meaningful?" They all nodded. "Well, Crocodile's at Rainbase."

"I know that!" said Vivi. "But that's not where we're trying to go. We need to get to Katorea to—" I held up a hand to cut her off.

Sighing, I asked my captain, "Luffy, would you mind settling this with her now?"

Luffy got a serious look on his face. Right as he and Vivi began their little talk, I just lay on the ground in boredom. I'm sure the others would've asked me what the hell I was doing, but they seemed enthralled by our captain and the princess.

"Dude, what's up with you? Why are you spacing out?" Fencer asked me, sitting on my chest.

"The trip through the desert was so boring, and this?" I gestured to Luffy and Vivi. "I've seen this play out plenty of times, both in the show and in fanfiction."

Fencer tilted her head. "What show? I thought you said it was a comic."

"Whatever. The point is that if something here happens the way it did in canon, that's boring, so I just sit it out," I explained.

My fire ferret shrugged. "Makes sense to me."

And so we sat and waited for Luffy to convince Vivi that kicking Crocodile's ass was the best option we had. Afterwards, we kept on walking through the desert. Eventually, we spotted Rainbase, prompting Luffy and Usopp to run off in search of water.

I addressed the rest of the crew, "Okay, hands up, who'd like a few helpful tips?" Everyone raised their hands. "Alright then, here's the short version: the Marines are gonna show up and we're gonna split up. My advice is not to completely regroup, otherwise we'll all get caught in a trap."

"So, what should we do instead?" Vivi asked as we started walking into town.

I shrugged. "I don't know what to do. I only know what not to do." I paused for a second. "Actually, I do have an idea. Mantax, could you stick with Vivi while we're here?"

"You wanna leave Vivi with this guy?!" Sanji predictably objected. "I could protect her just fine!"

"Yeah, but if I'm remembering this part right, then Mantax might be the best one of us to protect her. And before you ask for more, I feel like this is the most Luffy would want me to give away," I explained. "No spoilers, remember?"

"About how long until we start seeing some Marines?" Zoro asked. Judging by the look on his face, I'd say he—and the rest of the crew, for that matter—was still annoyed by how little I'd been helping lately.

"I don't know," I responded. I was becoming more and more torn up about my actions. As much as I wanted to be helpful, I was afraid things could go south if I tried making a major change without thinking about it, which would be easy since I don't always pay attention to detail.

Thankfully, it wasn't long before our captain and sniper came barreling towards us with the Marines in tow.

I repeated my warning, "Remember, guys, don't stay in groups larger than three!"

Not long after we started running, we split up. I stuck with Zoro, splitting off from Vivi and Mantax in the process. Fortunately, the black Barraki had decided to stay by Vivi's side like I'd asked. Hardly a minute or two later, we were surrounded by Baroque Works goons.

It was only a matter of time before Tashigi showed up.

"There you are, Roronoa!" she growled.

Zoro cringed, so I stepped in front of him. "I'll handle her."

"What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"Something I've wanted to do ever since I read a certain fanfiction." Damn, I missed being able to grin.

Fencer looked perplexed. "And that would be?"

"I'll show you right now."

I placed her on the ground, faced Tashigi, and pointed to the sky. "Hit it, background music!"

A certain song began playing. Tashigi and her squad were understandably confused about my impending performance.

"This is your chance to leave, Zoro," I said as I summoned Skeleton Buddy. The green-haired swordsman didn't stick around to argue. As I began to sing the main lyrics, SB backed me up.

You know I used to be in 1D (Now I'm out free)

People want me for one thing (That's not me)

I'm not changin' the way that I— (Used to be)

I just wanna have fun and— (Get rowdy)

One coke and Bacardi (Sippin' lightly)

When I walk inside the party (Girls on me)

F1-type Ferrari (Six-gear speed)

Girl, I love it when your body— (Grinds on me, baby)

For the chorus, we sang together.

You know I love when the music's loud, but c'mon, strip that down for me, baby

Now, there's a lot of people in the crowd but only you can dance with me

So put your hands on my body and swing that 'round for me, baby

You know I love when the music's loud, but c'mon, strip that down for me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Figuring I'd provoked Tashigi enough, I ended the song. As SB and I bowed, the Marines applauded.

Fencer grinned. "Did you really just sing a duet with yourself?"

"Yes, yes I did." I took notice of the red aura emanating off Tashigi. "I also may have just dug my own grave."

The female Marine slowly advanced towards me. "The rest of you continue pursuing the other Straw Hats," she said. "This one is mine."

"I'm going to enjoy this," said a hooded figure.

He'd been patrolling the town's perimeter all morning, allowing him to spot the Straw Hats when they arrived. It surprised him to see someone like Mantax accompanying the crew, but he didn't show it.

When the Straw Hats had finally split up, he made his way towards Eyelash. The camel quickly noticed him.

"Hey there, big guy, you waiting for your buddies?" the man in the hood asked. The camel nodded. "Bet you're especially eager to see the ladies again, huh?" The camel grinned and nodded again.

The man chuckled as he reached into his cloak. "Yeah, that always annoyed the hell out of me."

Before Eyelash had time to react, the man pulled out a knife and stabbed the camel viciously at the base of his neck. One stab followed another, and in no time at all, Eyelash was on the ground, still.

"E-Eyelash?!"

The man turned around to see Chopper gaping in horror at the carnage that had just unfolded. He quickly charged the reindeer and hit him with a one-two punch.

"What're you—?" The hooded man didn't give Chopper any time to recover, stunning him with a swift punch to the jaw.

"Hit the jaw and the brain goes screwy," the cloaked figure said, throwing a roundhouse kick to make sure Chopper stayed down. "I first heard that from you." He grabbed one of the young doctor's legs. "Well, better get you to the boss."

As the man began dragging him away, a single thought crossed Chopper's semiconscious mind.

His voice… He sounds just like Declan.

"Hold still, dammit!" Tashigi shouted, still in a blind rage.

I wanted to respond, but that would have thrown off my concentration, and I was busy dodging.

Fencer charged up a flame attack. "Try to keep her in one spot!"

Skeleton Buddy snuck up behind Tashigi, putting her in a full nelson. "Okay, just don't kill or cripple her."

The fire ferret was taken aback by this. "Wait, SB, you'll get hit too!"

"I'm a clone, don't worry about it!" SB yelled back.

While she was still a little hesitant, Fencer let her freak flames fly, burning Tashigi and SB. The female Marine passed out while SB fell to his hands and knees from the burns. I made my clone disappear, which made me flinch from the pain I absorbed. I bit back a scream.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Fencer asked.

Quickly righting myself, I said, "Nothing. Just feeling some pain from injuries I never got."

Fencer looked weirded out. "Why'd you make that a thing in a Devil Fruit you made up?"

"I don't know. Stop asking me what I'm thinking!" I spat out defensively. "Half the time, I'm not! That's why I've barely done anything noteworthy on this whole adventure."

That made Fencer reel back. "Sorry, geez."

"Sorry," I said after a moment, feeling badly. "I got a little self-deprecative."

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked.

I briefly considered her offer. "Maybe later. We've got stuff to do right now."

Vivi was starting to feel uncomfortable. Mantax was killing every Baroque Works agent that came near them. When he'd finished off the last of their enemies, he glanced over, as if noticing her for the first time, and said, "If you don't like me killing, then you shouldn't have watched."

Before the princess could respond, Mantax ducked out of the way of a large, clothed falcon. The falcon quickly circled back around, firing at Mantax with a pair of machine guns. The black Barraki was forced to run for cover.

Once the interdimensional foreigner was out of sight, the falcon swooped down again and grabbed Vivi in its talons, sweeping her off her feet and depositing her on a rooftop before transforming into someone she knew well.

"Pell!" she exclaimed in relief.

He smiled. "It's good to see you again, Princess Vivi. I almost didn't recognize you with your hair cut short. That creature didn't harm you, did it?"

Vivi frowned. "I'm afraid you've made a mistake. That creature was actually an ally I made recently."

"I see. I'll have to apologize when I see him again," Pell said.

"You can apologize now, then," Mantax deadpanned.

Both princess and guard were caught by surprise. "How did you get up here so fast?" they both asked at once.

"I didn't go far after you shot at me. After that, I just walked up the side of the building," Mantax explained, looking every inch the giant Lego set he was.

A new voice suddenly chimed in, "As amusing as this is, I'm afraid I must interject."

The three of them looked at each other, then turned their heads to see—

"Miss All-Sunday," Vivi growled.

The Baroque Works vice president chuckled. "Now, what kind of tone is that?"

Pell's eyes narrowed. "Princess, am I to assume she's part of the organization you mentioned?"

"I am," Miss All-Sunday said nonchalantly. "And I came to invite the princess to a little gathering at Mr. 0's casino."

Vivi gritted her teeth. "I wouldn't go anywhere with you. Especially after you killed Igaram!"

With that, she lunged at the older woman, followed swiftly by Pell. Both were instantly incapacitated when arms sprung from their bodies and wrapped tightly around them. Pell's joints were bent out of shape while Vivi was simply held in place.

"That's an interesting power you have there," Mantax commented, sounding bored. "Now, let her go."

Miss All-Sunday just grinned. "And if I don't?"

The Barraki said nothing and simply advanced toward her.

"Tres Fleur."

One arm appeared on Mantax's right thigh, and another on each of his arms. The newly bloomed limbs bent his right arm backwards, his left arm sideways, and his right knee forwards. Despite this, Mantax kept his balance.

"A trick like this might work on humans." With a grunt, he flexed his leg back into shape, much to the Baroque Works agent's surprise. "But I'm no human."

Exerting himself again, he forced his arms free all at once.

Miss All-Sunday recomposed herself and, in the blink of an eye, threw a knife at the Straw Hat, only for him to catch it with his mandibles, surprising her once again. Mantax thrust his arm toward the woman, only for her to stop him with a single sentence.

"If you kill me, who knows what might happen to your friends?"

The pincers stopped mere inches from the agent's neck.

"What do you mean?" Vivi asked.

"Mr. 0 is holding several of your friends captive, and he's expecting me back soon with you in tow, Miss Wednesday," All-Sunday explained. "If he finds out you've killed me, he'll gladly kill them in retaliation."

Mantax kept his pincers at her neck. "And how do we know you're not bluffing?"

All-Sunday grinned. "Are you willing to take that chance?"

"No," Vivi said at the same time Mantax said, "Yes."

Amused, All-Sunday asked, "Do you need a moment to decide?"

"Why yes, we do," Mantax replied. Putting an arm around Vivi, he asked All-Sunday, "Do you mind?"

"I'm afraid I do," the agent said.

Mantax quickly whispered something to Vivi before turning to All-Sunday again. "Seeing how you've got our crewmates, it seems we have no choice but to surrender." Immediately after saying that, he leaped off the rooftop, saying, "You can keep the princess!"

Miss All-Sunday looked to where Mantax had once stood. "Quite the interesting friend you have."

Vivi glared at her. "Just take me to Crocodile already."

"Do you have a plan?" Fencer asked.

I kept looking ahead. "You know I don't, Fencer. Otherwise, I wouldn't have just waltzed in here."

We were about to enter Rain Dinners. Knowing that I would stand out looking like I did, I had stolen some robes. I had a scarf wrapped around my face, with Fencer sitting on my head in hat mode.

As we walked through the casino, something got Fencer's attention.

"Ow! What the hell was that?" she whispered.

Looking up, I saw Mantax standing on the ceiling, poised to drop another pebble on our heads. Since he couldn't crane his neck, he simply leaned backwards to meet our gaze.

Just then, I came up with a plan to distract everyone around me. First, I had Skeleton Buddy materialize in front of me. Then, while everyone's focus was on the skeleton that had suddenly appeared in the room, I leaped up and dug my fingers into the ceiling.

"Good, you noticed me," droned Mantax. "I thought I'd have to drop something heavier on your head."

"So, why are you up here, and are you sure you're not a ninja?" I asked.

"I tailed Miss All-Sunday here and beat her inside. She'll be arriving any moment now," Mantax explained, ignoring the second part of my question.

That prompted me to look down and scan the room. Sure enough, Robin had just entered the building with Vivi in tow.

I looked back to the Barraki. "I had you go with her to protect her."

Mantax was unfazed. "Calm down. I let All-Sunday capture the princess so I could follow them here, then free her and the rest of our crewma—" He paused.

"What's up?" Fencer asked.

Our red-eyed crewmate looked back to the ground. "It's strange. I can hear the skeleton's voice."

"That's because I'm right here," I said.

"No, I meant down there, you idiot," Mantax replied.

Looking down again, we saw a cloaked person passing under us, which shocked us for two reasons—the first being that he was dragging an unconscious Chopper behind him. The second reason was his voice. I had to really peel my ears to hear it, but once I did…

And they're youthless

and pretending

with their bare hands

holding nothing.

"That's…your voice," Fencer muttered.

"That must be Mr. -1," I realized.

"I don't believe any more enemies will be passing through for now. Let's follow them," Mantax suggested.

And so we did, though we stopped once we neared the end of the hall that would take us to the 'prison room.' There wouldn't be anywhere to hide once we were inside.

"Okay, who's gonna be the distraction?" Fencer said quickly. "One-two-three-not it!"

"You're pulling 'not it'? What are you, six?" I asked incredulously.

"I don't know how old I am," my animal companion replied.

I considered probing further but ultimately decided to focus on the task at hand. "Actually, we don't need a distraction this time. In a little bit, Sanji calls Crocodile and he and Chopper lure him out of here, so we just have to wait."

Fencer tilted her head in confusion. "Wait a minute. If that's gonna happen, then what did we come here for?"

"Hey, Boss, I've got another one." The hooded man tossed the reindeer in front of the cage.

Behind the bars of their prison, the crew was horrified. "Chopper!"

The hooded man turned to the crew. "Oh, hey, I've been meaning to ask, is that you, Nami? I mean, I'm pretty sure it's you, what with the hair and all, but still."

Everyone's eyes widened as they recognized his voice.

"Declan?! What are you doing here?!" Luffy shouted.

"And what happened to Chopper?!" Usopp continued.

"And why'd you refer to Crocodile as 'Boss?'" Smoker finished.

The man shrugged. "Well, I guess I can show you." He pulled off his hood, revealing dark brown hair, brown eyes, and facial hair.

Luffy looked confused. "I don't get it."

"Luffy, remember how Declan described himself?" Zoro asked.

The young captain thought for moment before he realized something. "This guy…His moustache doesn't connect with his beard!"

Mr. -1 deadpanned, "Shoulda known you wouldn't get that right away. Now, about that question I asked."

"Yes, it's me," Nami muttered.

"Hmm, just to be sure, say something science-y about the weather," he said.

The navigator thought about what to say before explaining, "When cold air moves across a body of warm water, the temperature difference—"

"Neeeerrrrrrd," Mr. -1 cut her off. "Heh, I can't believe I managed to set that up."

"Why do you look like Declan?" Vivi asked.

Mr. -1 smiled at her. "I'm a clone."

"What? Declan said he could only make one clone of himself," Luffy said.

"Yeah? Well, he didn't make me," Mr. -1 explained.

"If you're the clone of a Straw Hat, shouldn't you be loyal to them?" Smoker questioned. "Why would you be working for Crocodile?"

The agent looked like he was deep in thought for a moment. "Hmm. Have you ever wanted to kill someone just for being annoying? Because I have."

"You're saying they've annoyed you that much?" Vivi asked.

"Yeah. For example, these two"—he pointed at Luffy and Zoro—"are idiots." The two pirates in question frowned at this. "Nami is a greedy bitch." A hurt look appeared on the redhead's face. "And Usopp, you are the second worst liar I've ever seen."

The sniper was indignant. "Hey! I—wait, who's the first worst liar you've ever seen?"

Mr. -1 folded his arms. "Brian Griffin."

Crocodile interrupted before the conversation could go further. "Alright, that's enough talking. Tie up the reindeer, Mr. -1."

"Alright, sure," the agent replied. "But can we please do what I suggested now?"

The leader of Baroque Works nodded. "Yes, yes. I suppose it will be satisfying enough to simply kill Ms. Wednesday's friends here and now while she watches." Sand started swirling in the palm of his hand as he said this.

"They're gonna kill them?! Dude, what are you waiting for?" Fencer hissed. "Use your skeleton speed and get them out of there!"

"That won't—" Before I could finish talking, Mantax kicked me from behind, saying, "Try not to die."

I stumbled into the room, gaining everyone's attention.

"Declan, Fencer!" The crew looked relieved to see us.

I waved to them. "Hi, guys, mysterious clone of me."

Crocodile grinned. "Well, that's one more Straw Hat in our grasp."

Mr. -1 walked towards me. "I'll take care of this."

I pointed a finger at him and fired my distal phalanx. He dodged it. Figures he saw it coming, being a copy of me. Fencer lit up her tail, only to be hit by a narrow blast of sand from Crocodile. Mr. -1 threw a roundhouse kick at my torso, which I blocked with my forearm. Before I could counterattack, he opened his mouth and fired a high-pressure blast of water at me, blowing me across the room.

I scrambled to my feet. "What the hell?"

"There's more to me than just your face," Mr. -1 responded vaguely, charging me. We began exchanging blows, but I wasn't making much headway. I didn't get it; my strength had been enhanced by my Devil Fruit, but somehow, he was still matching me blow for blow.

Suddenly, Robin's arms sprung from all over my body. I considered myself to be pretty flexible, but they began to bend me backwards even further than I could go.

"Do something, Fencer!" I yelled.

"I'm a little busy!" she shouted back. Glancing over, I saw that she was locked in a stalemate with Crocodile, his sand and her fire cancelling each other out.

While I was distracted, Mr. -1 floored me with a punch. I grabbed one of the hands on me and squeezed it hard enough to break a bone. The corresponding arm disappeared, giving me enough freedom of movement to tackle my evil twin.

I materialized Skeleton Buddy so he could take on Robin. Unfortunately, the situation went downhill again. Robin simply bound SB like she'd done to me a moment ago, and Mr. -1 shot me off him with another water blast.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" Luffy's punch hit Mr. -1 dead on, knocking him flat on the ground. Meanwhile, Mantax kicked Robin from behind, making her lose focus and dispersing the arms on me.

"Smokescreen! Now!" Mantax yelled at Usopp. Next thing any of us knew, we were blinded by smoke.

Suddenly, something wrapped around my neck and pulled me along. After a moment of panic, I realized with alarm that I was being dragged by Mantax's tail. But that wasn't the most surprising part. As the smoke cleared, I saw that the rest of the crew was free and running alongside us, Usopp and Zoro carrying Chopper.

"When did you guys get free?" I asked.

Looking back, we saw a mini sandstorm behind us.

"Just watch this flashback, that'll get you up to speed," Mantax said, and the world was swept away.

Mantax observed the room intently. Once the Baroque Works agents were occupied by his crewmates, he stood perfectly still to activate his invisibility. Sneaking past the commotion the skeleton and fire ferret were causing, he made his way over to the cage and jammed the tip of his pincer into the lock.

The sound got the captives' attention.

"Who's there?" Zoro asked.

"It's me," the Barraki replied.

"Taxma—mmph!" Luffy yelled before Zoro and Usopp clamped their hands over his mouth.

Smoker looked at the fight outside the cage. "I hope you're close to getting us out. Your skeleton friend seems to be having some trouble."

Mantax growled at him. "I'm trying."

Unfortunately, his pincer was just a bit too big to work the tumblers in the lock. This did not deter him, however.

"Dinosaur," he addressed Nami. "See if you can use your claws to pick the lock."

For a moment, the navigator seemed to grind her teeth, but she stuck one of her claws in the lock like he said. A few seconds later, there was a click and the door opened, letting the captives out. Seeing that Declan was losing even more ground to his enemies, the Straw Hats' captain stepped in to lend a hand.

"Hey, Declan, is this what happened in the comic?" Luffy asked.

Squirming free from Mantax's tail, I replied, "Not at all!"

We had now entered the main part of the casino. Looking behind us, we saw that Crocodile had gone from a sandstorm back to a regular person, presumably not wanting to make too much of a scene in front of his patrons.

Barging out the door, we crossed the bridge. As we ran, we came across Sanji.

"What the—?"

"Talk later! Run now!" Nami instructed.

"Crocodile can't be too far behind us! We need to find Eyelash and get out of here," Vivi said.

"Eyelash is gone." Everyone turned to see that Chopper had finally woken up.

"Wait, what?" Usopp asked.

"He's dead! I saw Mr. -1 kill him!" the reindeer exclaimed, tears beginning to fall.

Before any of us could process what we just heard, a blast of water struck Vivi from behind. We stopped running to tend to her. As we did, we saw Mr. -1 approach, slowly now that he knew he had us. He was panting, but he had a slasher smile on his face.

"You!" Luffy yelled.

"Not just me. The boss should be here riiiiiggghhhht"—as he stretched out the word, Crocodile materialized next to him in a sand-filled breeze—"now."

I was starting to panic internally. We had Baroque Works in front of us, Smoker to the side, and here we were, stuck in the middle. At this rate, we'd never make it out of Rainbase, much less get to Alubarna.

"Does anyone have a plan to get out of this?" Nami practically begged.

Mantax shook his head. "My only plan was to sneak you all out of that jail cell, which the captain ruined by assisting the skeleton."

Nami frowned, sulking. "So that's it? We're just gonna be arrested or killed by one of these monsters?"

"Monsters?" Usopp repeated. Suddenly, a lightbulb appeared above his head, and he started whispering to Chopper and Vivi.

Thankfully, we got a few moments of peace once our enemies took notice of each other.

"When this is over, I'm taking you in. You and the Straw Hats," Smoker said.

Crocodile grinned. "I highly doubt that."

Mr. -1 interjected, "Hey, uh, Boss?"

"Yes?"

"The Straw Hats are escaping," Miss All-Sunday finished for him.

Frowning, the Crocodile immediately broke off his conversation and gave chase, followed swiftly by Smoker.

"Hey!" Usopp shouted behind the fleeing crew. "I've got a whole lot of tabasco that's going to waste! Would anyone like it before I get rid of it?"

"What the hell are you doing?!" Zoro asked.

"You'll see! For now, just keep running!" the sniper replied. "I repeat, I've got plenty of tabasco!"

We were getting near the city limits by this point. In the distance, we saw something massive moving beneath the sand.

Sanji was the first to ask, "Is that—?"

"Chopper, talk to it!" Usopp urged.

The reindeer nodded and shouted to the tunneling creature, "If you take us where we want to go, we'll give you all the hot sauce we have!"

A familiar-looking shell protruded from the sand, followed by the rest of the creature, revealing the Tartaronis from before.

Unfortunately, before we could try to board the creature, an all-too-familiar scene played out. A hook attached to a stream of sand shot out at us, grabbing Vivi. This, however, was something I actually had a plan for.

When Luffy substituted himself for Vivi, I shouted, "Get on the Tartaronis now!" They all looked hesitant, so I repeated myself, "Now, dammit!"

My words, plus the situation in general, must have reminded Luffy of Loguetown. "Declan, you're not going to—"

I grabbed him by the vest and threw him as hard as I could toward the elder dragon. "Off you go!"

The rest of the crew followed him, leaping onto the Tartaronis' back as it began swimming away.

As I turned back to stall my enemies, I was suddenly gripped by Robin's arms again.

Mr. -1 grinned. "Did you forget that I'm you?" he said, sounding manic. "I figured out what you were planning right away, so Rob—I mean Miss All-Sunday and I are gonna deal with you while Crocodile's free to chase the crew. Oh, and I told him not to dick around this time and just kill Luffy, so you stayed here for nothing."

In desperation, I called out to Smoker, of all people, "Either arrest them or arrest me, just DO SOMETHING!"

While he clearly disliked being ordered around by a pirate, the Marine captain thankfully decided to come to my rescue.

"White Out!" he called out, launching clouds of smoke at Mr. -1 and Miss All-Sunday. The two agents were forced to dodge, and Robin's lapse in concentration caused her arms to disappear from my body.

I charged at Mr. -1, throwing wild punches and kicks. "I'll take this one, you take Nico Robin!" I called out to Smoker without looking away from my opponent.

"Don't forget that when this is over, you're next!" the captain growled at me. He launched rocket punches at Robin. It was kind of satisfying to see her forced on the defensive like that. It wasn't long before she decided enough was enough and simply fled the scene, prompting my evil counterpart to do the same.

With our common enemies gone, Smoker and I turned to face each other.

"This reminds me of Loguetown," I started. "I send my captain away, we face off for a moment, then I run like hell."

Smoker narrowed his eyes. "Am I supposed to feel nostalgic?"

"No, just annoyed," I said, a little sad that I couldn't grin. "Because I just conveniently remembered one of my powers just now."

"All the more reason for me to do this," Smoker said, launching a plume of smoke at me.

I leaped over the attack and used my super skeleton speed to dash off in the direction I'd last seen the Tartaronis moving in. Thankfully, it hadn't changed direction yet, so I caught up with it quickly and hopped on.

"Declan!" Chopper and Fencer were relieved to see me, with the fire ferret resuming her usual place on my shoulder.

Naturally, the crew had questions for me about my evil clone.

"So, if you didn't create Mr. -1, then who did?" asked Mantax.

"I have no idea," I answered.

Zoro went next. "That stuff he said about us, is that really what you think?"

Sanji, having been absent for the conversation he was talking about, looked up. "What who said?"

"Mr. -1 trash-talked all the crew members that got captured," Fencer explained.

"So? Moss-head and I do that to each other all the time," the chef countered.

Zoro rerailed the conversation, his gaze never having left me. "You still haven't answered my question."

Unable to think of a way to steer away from the topic, I responded truthfully. "It is, but I have some positive opinions about you guys too."

"Like what?" Usopp asked.

I began counting on my finger bones. "Well, for one, I think all your dreams are admirable." That thankfully eased a bit of the tension. "And two, I like your fighting styles."

"Oh, how sweet," Mantax said sarcastically.

Zoro ignored him and kept his focus on me. "Hmm, how about you tell me what you hate about the cook, and we call it even?"

Nodding, I told him, "Sanji's doting on women annoys me as much as it does you."

"First Moss-head, now you?" the chef groaned.

Fencer went next. "What about Mantax? Was there anything you didn't like about him in the thing he's from?"

That was an easy answer. "Oh, there's plenty not to like about Mantax. Like how he's a ruthless warlord."

"Wait, what?" Usopp asked.

"You heard me," I went on. "He's a power-hungry conqueror who only cares about himself."

Having been unaware of this, the crew was naturally shocked.

"So he's not just some random thief?" Sanji wondered aloud.

"Dude, if you knew that, then why the hell'd you invite him into the crew?!" exclaimed Fencer.

I rubbed the back of my head. "I figured we could reign him in if he ever tried to get us into trouble."

"You wouldn't need to," Mantax interjected. "I'm not some prankster looking to cause mischief at every turn. And stop discussing me like I'm not here."

"Anyway," I said, "long story short, I see you guys for more than just your faults."

"Speaking of faults, how about we point out some of yours?" Sanji suggested. "Just to make things even."

"Like how he didn't warn us about all the dangers we'd face in the desert?" Usopp pointed out.

Vivi went next, "Or how he let us walk all the way to Yuba for nothing."

Followed by Nami, "Or how he didn't warn me I'd get sick."

Being the one who started this tangent, Sanji was the one to end it, "Or how he never helps me in the kitchen despite the fact that he can bake."

Well, they got me good with those points. Thankfully, that seemed to settle the issue well enough, and we re-focused on our main issue.

"So, do we just ride to Alubarna from this point?" Usopp asked.

"More or less," I replied.

"Strip That Down" belongs to Liam Payne and Quavo

"Youthless" belongs to Beck