Chapter 14
The Marines had passed us over. It had always been frustrating to see the main characters get by due to their enemy's good graces. Knowing Mantax, SB, and I could've driven them off was something of a comfort though.
At the king's invitation, we had taken refuge in the royal palace where I could finally heal myself. Three days later, everyone was doing their own thing. Chopper and Nami were studying, Zoro was training, Luffy was sleeping, and Mantax just stood around, creeping everyone out except me.
As for me and Fencer, we had joined Sanji and Usopp when they went shopping for supplies. We were making our way back to the palace when a scream of dismay rose from a row of dilapidated houses.
"What the hell?! House after house is like this! What happened? It's like someone kicked a hole through them!"
"Kicked?" Fencer repeated, turning to Sanji. "Was it—"
"Don't look at me," the cook cut her off.
"It was me," I admitted. Checking to see if anyone was looking, I showed my crewmates a quick flashback, projecting the image of me running Mr. -1 through numerous walls.
"Wow," said Fencer.
That was the last we spoke of it for the rest of the walk back. We stopped when we saw a group of Marines at the palace entrance.
"Any ideas on how to sneak a skeleton and a fire ferret past these guys?" Sanji asked.
In response, Fencer leapt onto his head and curled up to look like a hat.
That left me. Usopp's eyes suddenly widened as he got an idea. He pushed me toward Sanji, instructing us, "Declan, stay limp until I give the signal. Sanji, hold onto him."
Trusting him, we obeyed and casually walked by, only to be stopped by the Marines.
"Hold up! We know for a fact that the Straw Hats have a skeleton with them," one of them said. "Mind explaining what you're doing with one?"
Usopp chuckled. "Oh, you misunderstand. We're just some entertainers for the king."
The Marine at the front of the group raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Mind showing us some of your material?"
"If you insist." Usopp laid me down and made some exaggerated gestures. "Behold the skills of the great puppet master Usopp!"
Taking that as the signal, I jerked to attention like a puppet on strings. Plucking one of the Marines' hats off their head, I gave him a mock salute. When Usopp stopped gesturing, I collapsed.
The Marine retrieved his hat. "Hmm, alright, you're good to go."
We hastily went inside, where I found the plot occurring exactly as I remembered it: Luffy woke up and briefly panicked about all the meals he'd missed, and then we were treated to a massive feast.
It felt so unfair. The whole crew was stuffing their faces, but I couldn't eat a thing. The only thing I could do was help everyone else out a bit.
"Hands up, who's sick of Luffy stealing their food?"
Naturally, everyone raised their hands.
"Okay, then." Summoning Skeleton Buddy as backup, the two of us tackled Luffy and dragged him under the table. After a brief struggle, we emerged to show the crew our handiwork. We had forced Luffy's hands to his throat and tied his fingers together; the rest of the feast was everyone's to enjoy.
Mantax chuckled. "Impressive. Would you happen to know any other forms of torture?"
"Actually, I do," I stated nonchalantly.
Fencer stopped eating for a second to ask an obvious question, "You know how to torture people? Where'd you learn that?"
I shrugged. "Too much of the wrong kind of TV, I guess."
"What exactly is TV?" Zoro asked.
"I don't really know how to explain that," I said.
Zoro raised an eyebrow but didn't press me further, so I simply stood back and watched everyone else eat, laugh, and have a good time.
Eventually, all that ended, and we made our way into the freakishly huge royal bath chambers. It was there that I noticed something of the ordinary. When the guys, barring myself, Zoro, and Mantax, peeked over into the girls' side, the reaction was—
"Get the hell out of here!"
"You're lucky I can't use my fire powers in here!"
Fencer's reaction was amusing, but I couldn't help but notice that Nami didn't give everyone the Happiness Punch like she had in canon.
"Thank you," King Cobra said.
"Pervert," we all replied.
"Not for that!" he shouted. He then bowed his head while explaining his heartfelt thanks for our saving his country.
"From one king to another, you shouldn't lower your head so easily," Mantax scoffed.
Luffy was in awe. "Whoa, you're a king?!"
The Barraki nodded. "Indeed, I was once. I was part of a collective known as the League of Six Kingdoms. We were set on conquering our universe, but one of our members sold us out, resulting in our banishment to the Pit."
"What's the Pit?" Luffy asked.
"An underwater prison," Mantax explained. "We were trapped there for millennia before we could escape, and when we did, we were mutated by the Pit's waters. However, after a long series of events, we were returned to our true forms, only for that to be undone when we were hurled through dimensions."
By that point, I was plenty clean, so I exited the bath. The rest of the crew followed shortly after, and as we dried off, we decided we would leave the country tonight.
"Wait, how are we supposed to bring him?" Sanji asked, gesturing to Mantax.
Carue chimed in with a few quacks, which Chopper translated, "He said that he remembers that issue from last time. We'll have Ivan X carry Mantax, Hikoichi will carry Luffy, and Declan, Fencer, and I will ride with Zoro."
It was a little bit crowded with so many of us riding Kentauros, but we made it work.
As we set off, Mantax said, "I can't believe you didn't bother accepting any sort of reward. They were royalty. They had plenty to give."
"I know exactly how you feel," Nami said.
"You're agreeing with him?!" everyone shouted. Knowing she'd been thinking it, I didn't join in with the criticism.
Ignoring everybody else, Mantax addressed Nami, "That's why I took this." He held out a bag. "One hundred thousand beris."
"You stole from Vivi?!" Sanji yelled, enraged.
"Technically from her father, but yes," the Barraki admitted shamelessly. "We went through a lot during this ordeal, and I wasn't leaving empty-handed."
He was knocked down a peg when Luffy hit him with a Gum-Gum Pistol. "No more stealing from friends, you jerk!"
"What's that admonishment worth coming from the boy who was stealing everyone's morsels during the feast?" Mantax countered.
"Stealing money is worse than stealing food," Zoro pointed out.
That made Mantax concede, "Touché."
As we continued riding, we thought back on the call we'd gotten from Mr. 2 earlier.
"The guy calls himself Bon," the guard explained, proffering the snail.
"I got this," I said. Before anyone could question it, I walked over and answered the call. "Hey, Mr. 2."
"Mr. 2?!" the crew repeated in a rage.
"Indeed, it is I," the former Baroque Works agent stated in a surprisingly serious tone. "Skeleton, do you remember what I said to you and the cook during our battle?"
Sanji nodded. "You said if we all survived, we could disprove what Mr. -1 said about us."
"What did -1 say about us?" Zoro asked.
"That we're nothing but a bunch of homophobes," I explained. "That's why 2 blew a hole in our ship."
After that, Bon told us where to meet up with him to reclaim our ship and redeem ourselves in his eyes.
Eventually, we reached the Going Merry and found Bon Clay waiting for us.
"Welcome, all," he greeted us. "Now, you'd like your ship back, and I'd like to clear the air about your standing on okamas, so the sooner we get this over with, the better."
"What do you want us to do?" Chopper asked.
Bon hopped down from our ship and approached us. "You must sing the queerest song of all time. If you're not familiar with it, here are the lyrics." He then pulled out a piece of paper with said lyrics written on it.
Nami was the first to object. "You can't be serious! You expect us to learn and perform a song at a time like this?!"
Bon shook his head. "Actually no. With the Marines searching the country, I realize that we're all pressed for time, so I won't ask all of you to take the time to learn and rehearse, nor will I ask for the whole song. Just a short performance from anyone who thinks they're capable will do. Unless, of course, you really are homophobic…"
Luffy shoved me forward. "Declan can do it!"
"You heard him, skeleton," Mantax followed up. "Sing so we can get out of here."
I looked over the lyrics and, realizing with satisfaction that I knew the song already, summoned Skeleton Buddy as my backup. We didn't bother calling on the background music this time and simply got to singing the song. "Calling out around the world! Are you ready for a brand-new beat?" Due to the aforementioned time budget we were on, we stopped after the first chorus.
"Hmm, not your best performance," Sanji critiqued.
"Yeah, I liked the winter song better," Luffy added.
"The chorus was a bit out of my range, okay?" I explained before turning to Bon. "So, what'd you think?"
Our former enemy smiled and nodded. "The important thing is that you made an effort. The type of people Mr. -1 described wouldn't have even humored this request. From this moment forth, we are true companions!" he declared, sticking his hand out and gesturing for us all to place our hands in the middle.
Naturally, only Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper joined him for that. Once they'd finished hamming it up in the name of friendship, we got to sailing.
Unfortunately, after day broke, we were attacked by the Black Cage formation. This was something I'd skipped over while watching the show, so it was a bit new to me. A bunch of ships in small groups faced us from our four directions. So, no matter which way we tried to flee, we'd take fire from the harpoons they were shooting at us. I leapt up to punch away a harpoon. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of punching it point-first, so it shattered some of my proximal phalanges.
Thankfully, Mr. 2 came to our rescue, crudely disguising his ship and crew to lure away some of the Black Cage ships. Strangely, after Bon Clay sacrificed himself to help us escape, some of the remaining Black Cage ships didn't pursue us.
"Hey, Usopp, how come they're not chasing us?" Luffy asked, voicing all our thoughts.
Our sniper checked the situation with his goggles. "The men on the ships are all in a panic," he informed us.
"Is it Bon Clay or some of his men?" Sanji guessed.
"I can't tell. Whoever's attacking them is out of view." Usopp leaned forward, trying to get a better look. "Wait! I see something! It's…Are those tentacles?"
That threw us all for a loop.
Two of the Marine ships were out of range and attempted to continue the chase. However, before they could get too far, two large bolts of blue lightning shot out from one of the afflicted ships, striking the two pursuers and electrocuting everyone on board.
Zoro snapped us all out of our stupor. "We can wonder what the hell's happening later! We need to get going now!"
We quickly continued sailing and made our way to that section of coast where Vivi ended up telling us goodbye. More Marine ships showed up to attack us, but Luffy simply took care of them using the harpoons the Black Cage had stuck into our ship.
Then, just when it seemed like things had finally calmed down for a moment, something else happened. There was a splash as three individuals leapt out of the water and landed on the deck. The first one was white and black with a few red highlights. He had blades on his shoulders and back and carried a sword in each hand. The next one was varying shades of green, had spines on his back, and had long claws for hands. The third one was dark red and black. He had tentacles on the back of his three-eyed head that flowed as if they were submerged in water, as well as an orange tentacle on each hand.
"No way," I muttered in disbelief. It was more of the Barraki: Pridak, Ehlek, and Kalmah.
The three intruders looked us all over before Kalmah broke the silence. "So, this is the crew we've been looking for? They don't look like much."
"Don't act like you're just here to offer criticism," Mantax snarked.
Ehlek spoke next, "I'm surprised you're even above deck. We were expecting you to be locked in a cell."
Usopp was the first of our crew to interject. "Who exactly are you guys, and what are you doing here?!"
"We are the Barraki," Pridak announced in a baritone voice. He pointed at Mantax. "And we're here to take back our colleague."
Luffy looked back and forth between Mantax and the rest of the Barraki. "Taxman is part of your crew?"
Before the trio could say anything, Mantax said preemptively, "He can't get my name right."
"Whatever," Ehlek scoffed. "Just hand Mantax over and—Wait a minute." He paused and sniffed the air. "Is this the whole crew? I only smell nine people."
Nami ran that number through her head and realized something was off. "Wait, nine? We should only have eight."
"I got it," I said, walking over to the door I knew Robin was behind. I opened it up. "Hey, Robin."
While she seemed a bit surprised at having been outed prematurely, the woman simply smiled and replied, "Hello to you too, Mr. Declan."
The rest of the crew was naturally shocked to discover we had a stowaway. The Barraki, on the other hand, just seemed annoyed.
"Give us Mantax before we decide to kill you all," Pridak threatened us.
"Actually, I'm quite comfortable with this crew," Mantax said. "It has all the perks the skeleton said it would."
"Perks?" Ehlek repeated.
Mantax nodded. "I've enjoyed the chef's superb cooking, I've acquired a decent sum of money, and I've fought one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, all in the short time I've been on this crew." He finished by showing off the bag of cash he'd stolen from the royal palace.
"I hate to admit it, but that actually sounds tempting," Kalmah said.
"Do you guys wanna join too?" Luffy offered.
"What?!" most of the crew yelled.
Keeping his mind on the reason they were there, Pridak made another threat, "What's to stop me from diving underwater, slicing up your ship's keel, and being done with it?"
All the excitement we had gone through in the last several hours had left me zoned out, so when the white Barraki threatened to cripple our ship, I didn't think; I just acted. Speeding in front of Pridak, I threw a sideways hammerfist. However, my arm was stopped mid-swing by one of Kalmah's tentacles. This left me open for a kick from Pridak, sending me skidding to the other side of the ship.
Fortunately, our little exchange convinced the rest of the crew to join in.
Zoro leapt at Kalmah. Unable to dodge in time, the crimson Barraki could only turn slightly so the slash only hit his right shoulder, destroying the armor protecting it. The tentacled villain lashed out with several kicks, forcing Zoro to give a bit of ground.
Sanji and Chopper took on Ehlek. The green Barraki slashed with his Tri-Talons, which Chopper countered with his Horn Point. Sanji leapt up and brought his foot down on Ehlek's shoulder, yelling, "Epaule Shoot!"
The attack hit dead-on. Ehlek grunted in pain, but he didn't falter. His spines glowed brightly before he fired a bolt of neon blue lightning in Sanji's direction.
Sanji dodged, the bolt destroying a section of the side railing.
At the same time, Luffy and Fencer fought Pridak. Fencer leapt forward, her tail clashing with one of Pridak's swords. She attempted her sword-breaking maneuver but was shocked when the blade stayed intact.
The white Barraki tossed Fencer away and ducked under a punch from Luffy. The Straw Hat captain quickly retracted his fist before Pridak could chop it off.
Without missing a beat, Pridak threw a one-two slash at Luffy. When that missed, he smoothly transitioned into a reverse roundhouse kick, spinning on his literal ball-and-socket ankle without needing to move his foot. His weirdly long, pointy heel nearly perforated Luffy.
Fencer tried to attack Pridak from behind, but Pridak simply shifted slightly, blocking her tail with the blades on his back.
It seemed like Pridak had the upper hand—which was why it shocked everyone when he called out, "Stop!"
Everyone paused—even me and Robin, and we weren't even in the battle.
The white Barraki pointed at Mantax. "We need to talk."
After the exhausting last couple of days we'd had at sea, all seemed to agree that talking was better than fighting. As Mantax indulged the trio, I pointed something out to everyone else.
"Hey, now we can focus on this one here," I said, giving Robin back the thunder the Barraki had unwittingly stolen.
That got the crew's focus back on our little stowaway—which was just what I'd hoped would happen. As everybody began making a big deal over Robin being on our ship, I headed over to the Barraki.
"How come you didn't help us fight them?" Fencer asked from my shoulder.
"I was enthralled by the spectacle," I answered.
"And still are, by the looks of it," my ferret continued, pointing at Robin with her tail. "Aren't you gonna help us deal with her?"
"Nah, I've already seen how this goes: the crew makes a fuss over Robin joining, but she wins them over anyway. Eavesdropping on the Barraki is going to be way more interesting," I explained.
While Fencer stayed with the rest of the crew to question Robin, I leapt onto the quarterdeck and peeked over the railing to hear what the Bionicle villains were saying. Now that I stopped to think about it, they were slightly different from how I remembered them. None of them had squid launchers. That made sense though. You couldn't wield squids on dry land.
"So, if you weren't captured, I take it that means you've defected from our band?" Ehlek asked, powering up his spines. It was starting to look like not everybody preferred talking to fighting.
"Actually, I was captured," Mantax explained. "I was attempting to steal from this crew like we'd planned, and I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for that meddling skeleton."
I had to fight not to chuckle at his unwitting Scooby-Doo reference. Mantax went on to tell the rest of the Barraki about how I'd persuaded him to team up with us by listing the benefits of being on our crew, as well as the exploits he'd joined us for. Naturally, he left out the part where working with us was better than working with Pridak, who was standing a few feet away.
"I never would've imagined you of all people helping save a kingdom," Ehlek said.
"And this crew's end goal is to find the One Piece?" Kalmah finished for Mantax.
The black Barraki nodded. "And the skeleton possesses foreknowledge of the crew's journey, which makes things all the easier."
"The skeleton who thinks we haven't noticed him?" Pridak asked.
Before I could do anything, one of Kalmah's tentacles shot up and looped through my eye sockets.
"Gyah! What the hell?!"
Kalmah pulled me down to the group's level, keeping me suspended by the eyes. "Is it true you know of events to come?" he asked.
"Yeah, I do. Can you let me go now? This feels really weird," I answered, trying to pull the tentacle out of my head.
Excluding Mantax, the Barraki exchanged glances before Ehlek asked, "Would your crew consider letting us into their ranks?"
"You'd have to ask," I replied. "But Luffy did offer, so there's a good chance you'd make the cut."
"Simple enough," Pridak said. The trio of Bionicle characters walked over to the crew who, just as I had told Fencer, had been won over by Robin. The only holdouts were Zoro and, to my surprise, Fencer.
"I see you've gained a new crew member," said Pridak. "Care for three more?"
Luffy answered the question with one of his own. "Are you guys ninjas like Taxman?"
"We are not, though we do possess skills that could be useful to your crew," Kalmah said.
The rest of the crew was skeptical. "Even if you do, why should we let you join up with us when we were all fighting just minutes ago?" Sanji asked.
"Ignoring the fact that you did exactly that with that woman there," Pridak gestured at Robin. "We were fighting because we thought our comrade had been captured."
Knowing Pridak like I did, I almost wanted to laugh at that. He'd come here to reclaim an asset, nothing more.
"How'd you know that Robin was an enemy of ours?" Zoro asked.
"I have a heightened sense of hearing. Anyways, you would do the same for one of your crew, wouldn't you?" the white Barraki continued. "I think our teams could accomplish more if we joined forces. What do you say?"
To Luffy's credit, he seemed to actually give it some thought, but his answer was still what I expected. "Okay, you can join."
The rest of the crew naturally protested, so I tried to ease the tension. "Hey, Usopp interviewed Robin. Can I interview these guys?"
"Sure!" Luffy smiled.
Fencer climbed back onto my shoulder. "Not without me. These alien dudes have 'bad guy' written all over them."
Tenting my hands, I asked the three blue-eyed Barraki my first question, "So, why don't you tell us all your names?"
"Ehlek." "Pridak." "Kalmah."
"Uh huh, and what are your skills?"
"Combat, as well as tactics and strategy, plus a few other miscellaneous skills," Pridak stated.
Zoro interjected, "Mantax said that he came to this dimension by falling into a trap. Care to elaborate?"
Rather than answer verbally, our potential new recruits went into a flashback.
The Barraki were making their way up a flight of stairs in an old tower.
"Is this artifact really as powerful as you say, Ehlek?" Pridak asked.
"Yes, I'm sure of it," the green Barraki replied.
Just before they reached the top of the stairs, Kalmah stopped the group. "Something's wrong. You say this artifact is powerful, and yet, we haven't encountered a single trap."
Ehlek paused in consideration of this. "Hmm. Give me a boost."
Kalmah obliged and hoisted Ehlek up. He didn't see anything that would indicate the presence of booby traps, like tripwires. However, he did see a figure leap backwards out of his field of vision.
"Someone's already in there!" he informed them. "They must've disabled any traps when they beat us here!"
That prompted the group to enter the room, where they saw a familiar face wrestling with a Toa of Air.
It was already surprising enough to see the Barraki's non-mutated forms in the flashback, but what really took the cake was that I recognized the Toa.
"Takadox?!" Pridak shouted in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"
Before the Toa could say anything in response, runes began glowing on the walls. The next thing any of them knew, they were all being hurled through an interdimensional tunnel.
"Whoever designed that trap must've been expecting a group of around six, and we filled that quota," Pridak explained. "Rather savvy of them."
Kalmah continued for him, "Eventually, the tunnel branched out and we were all separated, each of us landing in a separate dimension. It also morphed us into the forms you see now."
"However, the effect of whatever transported us didn't wear off instantly," Pridak picked back up. "We were teleported again and again to other dimensions before we eventually landed in this one."
"And why were you explaining all this again?" Fencer asked.
"It was for Mr. Declan's interview," Robin answered.
"Oh, right."
"Are we on the crew or not?" Ehlek growled.
"Welcome aboard!" Luffy said with a smile.
"Come on, Luffy!" Usopp scolded him. "Just because they told us how they got here doesn't mean we can trust them!"
Pridak ignored the protests. "You've been with this crew for a while, Mantax. Introduce them to us."
"Very well," Mantax said before turning to us. "Line up. It'll make this slightly easier." We did so without questioning it. "I didn't care enough to remember any of your names, so you'll have to bear with me."
He began walking by us one by one and describing us, starting with Luffy. "This little idiot is the captain."
Then Zoro. "This is Neon."
Followed by Nami. "This is Dinosaur. She's the navigator." Nami's fists clenched when he called her "Dinosaur," but Mantax didn't seem to notice.
"This one is frequently referred to as 'Long-nose,'" Mantax said, gesturing to Usopp. "This next one is Hillbilly."
"In what way do I remind you of a hillbilly?" Sanji asked, annoyed.
"Well, there's the fact that you're always noodling," Mantax shot back.
"Hah!" Zoro, Fencer, and I laughed all at once.
Mantax moved on to me and Fencer. "This is the skeleton and the fire ferret. And this is Doctor Teddy Bear."
"I'm not a teddy bear!" Chopper protested. "I've got antlers and hooves!"
"I really don't care what you are," Mantax replied. "Anyway, that's all of the crew, except for that one there." He gestured to Robin. "She's new."
Fencer glared at Robin. "Just remember, no funny business."
"Shouldn't you be more concerned about them?" Robin deflected, referring to the Barraki.
"Declan and the others can handle them. I'm keeping an eye on you," Fencer shot back.
Robin just smiled, "Whatever you say, Miss Ferret."
Fencer glared, "'Miss Ferret?' What are you, five?"
"I doubt the skeleton could handle us," Mantax interjected, addressing one of Fencer's comments. "His clone was no match for me alone, and I had to save him from his counterpart in Alubarna." To prove his point, he showed everyone a flashback of how Mr. -1 had me dead to rights before Mantax swooped in and snapped his neck.
I sighed. "Thanks for bruising my ego."
"Lighten up. The rest of us almost died fighting our opponents too," Zoro said.
'Yeah, but you guys didn't need to be bailed out at the last second,' I thought. At least the business in Alabasta was done now.
The young man sighed. He'd been walking around for a while and still hadn't found what he was looking for. Then a thought occurred to him, something that probably should have occurred to him earlier: ask for help. "Excuse me, sir, which way to the cemetery?" Once he found his way there, he had to ask even further. "Uh, would you happen to know where that big blue and gray monster is?"
"Why would you want to know that?" the caretaker asked.
The young man thought for a few seconds before coming up with a lie, "He killed a few of my friends when he rampaged. I want to spit on his grave."
The caretaker chuckled, "I can't tell you how many people ask me to visit graves for that exact reason. Sure, let's go."
"Wait, really?" the stranger asked.
"Yeah. I'm kinda lax about this job. Just don't tell anyone," the caretaker said.
Soon enough, they arrived at the grave of Mr. -1. "Thanks for the help, sucker." Before the caretaker do anything, the stranger pulled out a knife and gutted him like a fish.
The stranger then began digging until he found his prize. It had been a hassle finding Mr. -1's corpse, not to mention stealing it without anyone noticing, but it was worth it in the end. He smiled at the corpse, which was still in its Agnaktor hybrid form.
"One down, several to go."
Finally! I've been waiting to introduce the rest of the Barraki forever. If you're having trouble imagining what they look like, you can find pictures of them on the Bionicle wiki, the Villains wiki, or biosector01. Speaking of the Barraki, I have some ideas for who could play them:
Pridak: Richard Epcar
Ehlek: Sean Schemmel or maybe Kirk Thornton
Takadox (who will appear next chapter): Steve Blum
Kalmah: Kaiji Tang
Anyone agree with my picks? Who do you think should voice Mantax?