Merry Christmas y'all!

Chapter 17

"Gyah!" Pridak tumbled backwards once we began flying straight up, smacking into the wall and getting his back blade stuck. The Barraki got a chuckle out of that. The rest of us might've laughed too if we hadn't been so busy taking in our skyward journey. At once excited and terrified, everyone looked on in awe as the clouds raced past us.

As someone who'd been on an airplane, I knew what it was like to fly above the clouds. But to sail across them like a ship on the ocean? That was epic. I was the only one enjoying the view at the moment though. Everyone else was gasping for breath. Summoning Skeleton Buddy, the two of us helped the rest of the crew to their feet.

"Whooooaa…" As soon as he'd gotten his bearings, Luffy was in awe just like the rest of us.

"Yes, yes, clouds, nice," Pridak grunted as he tried to dislodge his back blade from the wall. "Now, someone help me." I walked over and held out a hand. He grabbed it and I pulled.

Several seconds later saw me getting nowhere. "Man, you're stuck good," I said. "Help me out, Zoro?"

The swordsman walked over and grabbed Pridak's hand. We pulled and pulled but nothing happened.

"Come on, yank harder!" Zoro said.

"I'm yanking! As hard! As I can!" I grunted between pulls.

"Really? Because it feels like I'm the only one yanking here," my training partner snarked.

Nami shook her head, exasperated. "I was not prepared to watch this today."

"None of us were, Miss Navigator," said Robin.

"Okay, on three," I said. Zoro nodded. "One, two, three, pull!"

With that, we gave one last sharp tug and freed Pridak from the wall. It was then that we noticed the whole crew was staring at us.

"What?" we chorused.

SB just shook his head at us while Fencer tried not to laugh.

"Uhh, moving on!" Usopp declared, wanting to change the subject. He began to take off his shirt. Realizing what he was about to do, I dashed over and stopped him just before he jumped overboard.

"What are you doing?" the sniper asked, annoyed.

"Yeah, we wanna see Usopp swim in the clouds!" Luffy complained.

"You wouldn't," I pointed out. "He'd fall to his death."

Usopp paled when he realized this as well.

We were cut off from any further conversation when a giant cloud fish emerged from the milky white sea to attack us. Fencer tried breathing fire at them, but her flames went out almost the second they left her mouth. This left Zoro and Sanji to take out the beasts.

When they were done, they were panting. "The air is so thin up here," Zoro wheezed.

I chuckled, "Heh, lightweights."

If he hadn't been out of breath, I'm sure Sanji would've tried kicking me for that. "I don't wanna hear that from a guy who doesn't even breathe at all!"

"Thin air," Fencer muttered. "Is that why my fire isn't working?"

Robin nodded. "Less oxygen in the air would make it harder for fire to burn. Better be careful up here."

We all stopped when we heard the sound of chewing and munching. Turning, we saw the Barraki chowing down on the giant cloud fish that had partially landed on the deck.

When they noticed us watching them, Kalmah asked, "What? We're hungry."

"You could at least let me try to cook that, you know," said Sanji.

Mantax tore a chunk of flesh out of the fish and tossed it to the cook. It landed at his feet with a wet slap. "There. Happy?"

"Yes, actually," the chef smiled.

"Guys!"

Chopper's scream caught all our attention. The little reindeer was pointing off in the distance. Looking in that direction, we saw a scantily clad guy in a mask racing toward us on the clouds.

"I'll take care of this," Ehlek said, firing a few bolts of lightning.

The masked man, who I knew was Wyper, dodged the bolts effortlessly. Leaping into the air, he landed some solid kicks on the monster trio as well as most of the Barraki. The thin air had clearly slowed down their reaction time. The only one who fought back successfully was Kalmah. He held his twin tentacles in front of him when Wyper came at him, causing the Shandian to get tangled up in them. But right as Kalmah pulled him in to bite him, Wyper managed to aim his bazooka at the three-eyed Barraki and fired a cannonball, hitting him square in the chest.

Figuring it was our turn, SB and I tackled him to the ground. Unfortunately, wrestling proved to be a poor choice. My clone and I were light enough that Wyper was able to throw us before we could do much damage.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!"

On the bright side though, I'd apparently bought enough time for Luffy to catch his breath a little. The rubbery punch laid Wyper out flat. Kalmah quickly moved to restrain him.

"Hey, easy now! If you squeeze him that tightly, you could break something!" Usopp cautioned him.

Kalmah didn't even bother looking at him when he replied, "It wouldn't be revenge if I didn't."

"Knock it off!" Nami yelled at him before addressing Wyper, "Why did you attack us?"

Rather than answer, Wyper began to squirm, and next thing we knew, there was a big flash of light. When the light died down, we saw that our aggressor had gotten loose and leapt high above us. Before he could fire at us, though—

"That's enough!" an armored knight on a polka-dot bird shouted. He'd emerged out of nowhere, but that wasn't a difficult feat with the clouds all around us. He dealt Wyper a mighty blow with his lance, knocking him into the clouds and out of sight. He then landed on our deck to introduce himself.

Hoping to speed this along, I went up to intercept him before he reached the crew. "Thanks for helping us. Give us the whistle. How do we get to the White-White sea?" I asked without taking a breath, holding out a hand for said whistle.

The knight was understandably put off by my abruptness. "I'm sorry, what?"

Realizing I didn't really have a way to speed this scene along, I shifted gears. "How about I just let you introduce yourself?" I stepped aside with a sigh. As Gan Fall introduced himself and explained some basic facts about the white sea, the Barraki and Fencer joined me on the sidelines.

"I'm standing on the side until we start getting to the good parts," I explained. "What about you guys?"

"Same as you," Kalmah answered.

Ehlek went next, "What can we look forward to on this adventure, skeleton?"

I counted on my fingers, "Angels, priests, tribal warriors, a god, and some gold."

"Gold?" Pridak said in a tone that made it sound like he was grinning.

Suddenly, Nami came up and hit me in the back of the head. "There were other ways to get up here and you had us take the Knock-Up stream?!" she shouted angrily.

"It was the only way I knew!" I defended myself.

Pridak interrupted, "Can we get a move on already? When does the gold come in?"

The rest of the crew agreed with him. We all looked around before Chopper spotted a waterfall of clouds. Once the kiddy trio was done marveling at how soft the clouds were, we continued until we reached Heaven's Gate. As we sailed through, a little old lady emerged and took all our pictures.

"Greetings, I am Amazon, keeper of Heaven's Gate," she introduced herself.

I had skipped over this part when I binge-watched One Piece, so I simply observed as she explained the entrance fee and how she wouldn't stop us if we really wanted to go through. Nami and the Barraki naturally declined to pay the fee. Next thing we knew, a giant lobster had grabbed our ship from beneath and started to tow us down a long and winding path through the clouds.

"This feels like a roller coaster!" I couldn't help but laugh, even though I could barely recall where the lobster was leading us to.

Once we got to the top of the trail, we stopped to take in the sights; a bustling city sat amongst the clouds. Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper immediately hopped into the shallows to get a closer look. I quickly joined them.

'Huh, I wonder…' Scooping up some cloud, I found that I could mold it into a snowball—or in this case, a cloudball. Winding up, I threw it at Luffy.

It hit him in the back. Realizing what I'd done, he made a cloudball of his own, and Usopp and Chopper quickly joined in too. Fencer leapt off my shoulder to avoid what became a close-range cloudball fight. The four of us threw our fluffy projectiles again and again, laughing all the while, until we got a little too into it and started throwing with more force. Eventually, Luffy smashed a cloudball right into my face, and I retaliated by shoving him. Usopp and Chopper attempted to intervene but got sucked into it as well, turning the whole thing into a free-for-all brawl.

We paused when we heard the sound of music. The four of us, along with the rest of the crew, looked up to see a blond woman in a pink dress playing the harp on a nearby cloud. I recognized her as Conis, the angel the Straw Hats encountered in Skypiea—along with her cloud fox, Su.

"Heso," she greeted us.

The crew looked to me for an answer. I raised my hands. "I know who she is but not what that means."

"Did you all come from the Blue Sea?" our angel acquaintance asked.

Luffy grinned. "Yeah, we sailed up a stream of clouds. It was awesome."

"Not for me it wasn't," Pridak grumbled.

Conis seemed to notice the Barraki for the first time. "Oh my. Um, what are—"

Luffy interjected, "They're aliens!" He pointed at me. "And he is too!"

"...Aliens?" Conis repeated, wide-eyed.

"You get used to it," Nami assured her with a sigh. "So, we have a lot of questions about this place."

Before she could ask any of them, though, Zoro pointed something out, "Anyone else see that thing coming towards us?"

We all looked where he was pointing to see Conis's father arriving shakily on a waver. It was very amusing to watch him crash, but he quickly recovered and closed the rest of the distance between us.

"Hello, everyone. I see you've made some new friends, Conis."

"Yes, they arrived from the blue sea just minutes ago," Conis explained. "Also, apparently some of them are aliens."

"Aliens? I have so many questions. And here I thought I'd be answering some of yours," the father responded. "But first things first. We haven't been introduced. My name is Pagaya."

We all nodded, except for Nami, who had taken an interest in his waver, curious about how it could move without sails or oars.

The Barraki weren't as impressed by it. "If something like that wows you, then you'd be floored by the machines from our dimension," Ehlek told her coldly.

"It's not a contest, you shitty…whatever you are," Sanji shot back.

Luffy predictably crashed when he tried riding the waver, but Nami took to it like it was second nature. She elected to stay out and have some fun with it while the rest of us went to Conis and Pagaya's house. Once we were there, Sanji dragged me into the kitchen.

"Any reason you brought me here?" I asked him.

"Because you're helping me out," he replied. "You've got some talent as a baker and I refuse to let you squander it. Time to branch out a little."

Thankfully, he started me off easy, just having me slice and dice ingredients and hand him utensils when he needed them. Things were going smoothly until I heard something in the other room. I excused myself for a break and, as I followed the sound, I realized it was giggling. It led me to a bedroom where I found quite a sight.

Fencer and Su, each wielding a small throw pillow, were having a little pillow fight. It was so adorable that I completely forgot to move back out of sight. The two of them stopped when they noticed me.

Fencer blushed and glared at me. "You. Didn't. See. Nothing."

I nodded silently, backed out of the room and went back to the kitchen to finish cooking.

Once everyone had been served, I stepped out onto the balcony for a few different reasons. One was that I already knew about dials and upper yard, which was what the crew would learn about at dinner. The other was that seeing people eat while being unable to do so myself was torture. So I gave myself a couple extra minutes to enjoy the view while everyone else got up to speed.

Sure enough, by the time I returned, Luffy had already had the idea to go find Nami in upper yard.

"Knowing the captain, I'm sure that's a bad idea. Talk him out of it, quickly," Mantax demanded of me.

"Hey, Luffy, that isn't a good idea," I said.

"Aww, come on. I bet the aliens could tow us there in no time," Luffy whined.

I wasn't having any of it. "I know for a fact that Nami makes it back here, safe and sound. So drop it." That made my captain start moping. "Relax. We'll go to upper yard eventually. How else would things get interesting?"

That made him perk up, and something occurred to me. "Actually, maybe we could go to upper yard now. We just need to wait for Nami to get back first."

"I just told you to dissuade him, you idiot!" Mantax said, kicking me in the side.

The crew, not to mention our hosts, were surprised by my abrupt declaration.

"Y-you want to go to upper yard? I'm sorry, but are you mad?" Pagaya asked.

"Yeah! Why the hell would we go there anyway?" asked Usopp. "These guys said it was forbidden!"

I shrugged. "So? We're pirates."

Fencer climbed onto my shoulder. "Yeah, what do we care if something is forbidden?"

"They've got a point," Zoro added.

Usopp was opening his mouth to argue when he was cut off by a knock at the door. Pagaya answered it, revealing a group of men in white berets.

"So this is where you were!" the leader of the group announced. "We'd gotten a report of multiple illegal Blue Sea immigrants in this area!" He then turned to Pagaya and Conis. "If you two have been harboring these criminals, you may be subject to punishment as well!"

"I doubt inviting us over for lunch counts as harboring," Robin commented.

"Well, regardless of what they were doing, you blue sea dwellers are guilty of an eleventh-degree crime!" The leader of the White Berets continued. He then pulled out some photos of us. "Don't try to deny it. The keeper of Heaven's Gate took pictures of all of you when you passed through."

"I say we kill these idiots now and be done with them," Ehlek suggested, clearly bored by the new arrivals.

This statement angered the White Berets. "Even if you could kill us, that would only add to your crimes," the leader said sternly, though he did look a little unnerved by the Barraki.

"And what, pray tell, is our punishment, officer?" Pridak scoffed.

Said officer growled, "That's Captain McKinley to you! And as it stands, your current penalty is a ten-time increase of the entrance fee. If you pay that, then we can let you go about your business as tourists."

Luffy looked deep in thought for a moment. "Hey, Declan, if I hit one of these guys, will they send us to upper yard?"

"Probably," I shrugged.

"This is your last chance," McKinley warned. "Pay your fine or the degree of your crime will increase."

"I say we take this outside," Kalmah suggested. "It's too cramped in here for a proper fight."

Pridak nodded in agreement. "Everyone, outside." He then exited the house, beckoning for everyone to follow.

As we walked outside, a thought occurred to Sanji, "Wait, if we get sent to upper yard now, we'll leave Nami behind."

Ehlek dismissed his concern, "So what? We can pick up the dinosaur later."

Sanji kicked him for his comment. "She doesn't like being called that! And we shouldn't do that. We can't leave a lady all alone."

Ehlek growled. Kicking him had been an audacious move. "You people crush those idiots," he said, gesturing to the White Berets, before glaring at Sanji, "while I crush this idiot."

"Guys! You shouldn't be fighting! Especially not when there are actual enemies present!" Chopper yelled.

"If you insist on violence, then we have no choice." McKinley gave a hand signal and the rest of the Berets pulled out bows and arrows. "Milky arrows, fire!"

This was clearly something else I'd skipped over when I watched the show. The arrows spewed out streams of cloud behind them, which the White Berets skated on. They were approaching fast to attack us. The Monster trio (minus Sanji), the Barraki (minus Ehlek), and I leapt onto the cloud streams and met them head on. With the six of us fighting together, we defeated them in no time at all.

"Alright, so now we just wait for Nami?" Luffy asked when the last of the White Berets had either passed out or retreated.

Fencer scanned the horizon before pointing with her tail. "Speak of the dino!"

True to her word, our navigator was rapidly making her way back to us on her waver.

"Hey, Nami!" Luffy waved. "We broke some laws and now we're going to upper yard!"

Suspecting how Nami would react to a statement like that, I shot an open palm at Luffy, knocking him to the side. That proved to be the right move, as Nami rammed her waver into the spot where Luffy had been just seconds ago. After her little attempt at vehicular assault failed, she stomped over to me. I reflexively raised my guard.

"You! Better! Not! Have known! About! What! I! Saw!" she shouted angrily, punctuating each of her words with swipes from her clawed hands.

As I blocked and parried, Usopp asked, "What exactly did you see, Nami?"

Taking a break from attacking me, Nami explained, "First, I found a seashell that can record voices. Then, I saw a guy get destroyed by a giant burst of light."

"Oh, yeah, dials. Conis and Pagaya told us all about those," Luffy grinned.

Zoro went next, "What do you mean, destroyed?"

"I mean one moment he was there, and the next he was gone in a flash of light. And there were these four guys nearby talking about us," Nami elaborated.

"Four guys?" Conis repeated in concern. "I think you may have witnessed the four priests on a hunt."

Luffy's grin got even wider. "I say we go to upper yard and meet these priest guys—for, uh, diplomacy."

"Real smooth, dude," Fencer deadpanned.

"Before we decide anything, should we do something about those two?" Robin asked, gesturing to Sanji and Ehlek, who hadn't gotten the memo that the battle was over.

Usopp gawked, "Those two are still fighting?"

Ehlek was about to throw another slash while Sanji prepared a kick. Before either of these blows could land, however, Mantax and I grabbed our crewmates and pulled them apart.

"So, Declan, how do we get to upper yard?" Luffy asked me.

"I forget. But they know," I said, looking at Conis and Pagaya. "Could you send us to upper yard? Well, I know you can, but would you?"

The father and daughter were a little put off by my forwardness, so McKinley spoke up in their place. "Very well! If you wish to be sent to upper yard, simply board your ship and weigh the anchor!"

"You're still here?" wondered Luffy at the same time Nami asked, "Why? What will that do?"

"It will signal the super express lobster to take you away."

"The what now?" Usopp shook his head.

Luffy just grinned. "You heard him. Everyone on the ship."

We all complied. Almost as soon as we raised the anchor, there was a rumbling noise from below. Seconds later, we were hoisted up onto the back of a freakishly huge lobster with the word 'GOD' written on its head.

"Is this supposed to happen?!" Usopp shouted in a panic.

"Sure it is!" Luffy replied. "That guy just said so, didn't he?"

This new ride was about as fast as the lobster who'd taken us up when we first arrived in this land. The main difference was that there were no crazy twists or turns. After a while, the lobster brought us to a lake with an altar in the middle and set our ship on top of it. Once it had deposited us, the lobster went on its way.

"That was so cool!" Luffy shouted. "What's next, Declan?"

"Uh, we explore?" I shrugged. "This was as far as my plan went."

Zoro frowned. "Then what the hell did we come here for?"

"Priests and Gods and stuff," Luffy replied.

Fencer crawled up onto my shoulder. "Be honest, dude. Do you know anything about the layout of this place?"

"Only that there's a giant beanstalk and some ruins somewhere on this island," I answered.

That got Robin's attention. "Did you say ruins?"

"Yeah, he did. You can get turned on later," Fencer mocked her.

Keeping a calm face, the dark-haired woman muttered, "One of these days, I'll get you."

"What was that?" Fencer dared her to repeat herself.

"Oh, nothing," Robin said innocently.

Ehlek walked over to me and draped an arm over my shoulder. "Well, if we're going exploring, it would make sense to split into small groups to cover more ground. I'll take the skeleton."

I forced his arm away. "Oh, no you don't! You can pair with, uh, Zoro! You guys can be green team."

Zoro facepalmed. "Not you too."

Continuing, I created more color-coded teams, "Pridak, Fencer, and I can be white team. Mantax, Robin, and Sanji can be black team."

"Wait, don't tell me—I'm on black team because of my suit," Sanji guessed, to which I nodded.

"Did you put me on black team just because of my hair, Mr. Declan?" Robin asked.

I shook my head. "No, Robin. I put you on black team because of your sense of humor." She smiled at my joke. "Anyway, Luffy, Kalmah, and Chopper can be red team." Before announcing the last team, I summoned Skeleton Buddy. "Nami, Usopp. You guys and SB can be gold team."

Usopp looked confused. "None of us are gold. Why are we gold team?"

"Because gold team rules," I answered.

"So, what direction should each team head in, skeleton?" Pridak asked.

I shrugged. "I told you guys, I don't remember the layout of this place."

"Does that mean we just head wherever we feel like?" Luffy wondered.

"It would seem so," Robin answered.

As the teams I'd made up got ready to depart, Usopp stopped us. "Wait, some of you should take these." He held out two of our baby transponder snails.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot we had those," said Fencer.

Pridak and Mantax each stepped forward to claim a snail for their respective teams, leaving the third snail on the ship for gold team.

"Let's get moving," Pridak said. He then jumped into the clouds and began swimming to shore. Not a moment later, we saw several ominous dorsal fins emerge through the clouds, heading straight for our jerkass teammate.

Luffy and Chopper shouted warnings, but Pridak simply continued swimming. Every time a cloud shark got near, he stopped in place for a moment, and then kept swimming. We couldn't see what was going on, except for the blood that seeped out from each spot he stopped in.

Several dead sky sharks later, he stepped onto shore. "Skeleton, ferret! Get over here!"

"Alright, alright, we're coming," I said. Before I did so, though, I pulled out some note cards and handed them out to the crew. "I didn't have any real plan for this arc, but I did know we'd split up at some point. So, everyone, take a funny codename I made up."

Once that was done, I leapt off the ship and onto the shore with Fencer in hand. The rest of the Barraki swam over as well, while the human members of our crew swung over on vines. It was funny hearing Zoro and Luffy give yell like Tarzan as they swung.

Not knowing where to go, all we could do was split off in random directions to explore.