Chapter 18

"I think we're lost, guys," Fencer said.

"Indeed. This was a terrible plan, skeleton," Pridak growled.

Their comments made me sigh. "Can we just keep exploring?"

Pridak nodded. "Sure. Perhaps, if we keep walking, we'll see even more trees than we already have."

"Ugh, you're as big a jerk as the green one," Fencer shot back. "What's his deal, anyway? Why's he always trying to get Declan to spar with him?"

"He wants me to gain the will to kill," I explained. "His logic is that it'll make me a better fighter."

Raising an eyebrow, Fencer said, "Is that right?"

"Doesn't really matter if it is," Pridak responded. "He's probably just trying to drive you out of your mind. I've seen him do it before."

"He makes people go nuts for kicks?" Fencer asked.

Pridak shook his head. "Once in a while, if he finds someone he thinks he can break, he'll give it a try. It's a beautiful sight when he succeeds."

Fencer and I just looked at him. "I think we have different definitions of beautiful," I said.

"I'd say he's succeeding now, judging by the way you acted back in Jaya," the white Barraki said.

"He's not succeeding," I retorted. "I may have killed someone and I may have been angry about it, but I'm still totally sane."

"Yeah, he's not crazy, he's just off his meds," Fencer added.

"Nice callback." I held up a fist to my shoulder, which she bumped with her paw.

Pridak seemed uninterested. "Whatever. Your mental state is none of my concern. What are we doing here? Are we even looking for anything in particular?"

As I took a moment to think about it, Zoro and Ehlek approached from the right.

"Hey, Zoro," I said.

"Hey," our swordsman responded without stopping.

Getting my train of thought back on track, I said, "Well, depending on which direction we go, we could run into a priest." Just then, Zoro and Ehlek approached from the right. "Hey, Zoro."

"Hey."

I continued, "We could also find a giant snake, a giant beanstalk, or some ancient ruins." Just then, Zoro and Ehlek approached from the right. "Hey, Zoro."

"Hey."

"How do those two keep passing us from the same direction every ten seconds?" Pridak asked.

Fencer answered, "Zoro's sense of direction is crazy bad. One time, I saw him get lost on his way to the bathroom."

"That doesn't explain how he and Ehlek are able to circle back so quickly," Pridak pointed out.

"You probably shouldn't think about it too hard," I replied.

Pridak gave a 'hmm' as our walk was engulfed in awkward silence.

Fencer attempted to break the tension, "So, what's the deal with the red on your face and blades? Are those bloodstains?"

"No. They're natural markings, same as yours," Pridak answered.

"They're totally bloodstains," I whispered to Fencer.

"Oh!" Fencer seemed to get another idea that would fend off the silence. "When Mantax and Chopper joined the crew, Declan had them tell us their likes, dislikes, hobbies, and hopes for the future. Do you have any of that stuff?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Pridak said. "For example, I dislike it when idiots like you two won't stop talking to me."

The bluntness of the jab almost made me laugh.

Fencer was undeterred. "Oh, I know! We could call one of the other teams. Beats walking around aimlessly."

Pridak handed over our snail and I called Gold Team with it.

Usopp answered, "This is Usopp."

"Use your codename, would you?" I told him.

He groaned, "This is Gonzo the Great. Is there a problem, Bonerific?"

"Yeah, we're bored," Fencer replied. "What are Bone Clone and Cash Cash doing?"

"Bone Clone is repairing some of the damage to the ship and Cash Cash is refusing to respond to her codename," Usopp explained. "So I don't know what she's doing."

"I'm surprised nothing comical or ridiculous has happened with you in the time we've been gone," Pridak commented.

Before Usopp could respond, we heard SB shout "Holy shit!", prompting the sniper to hang up and deal with whatever it was.

Pridak and Fencer looked at me. "What was that about?" asked Pridak.

"Probably one of the priests showed up to attack the ship," I answered.

"Are they gonna be okay?" Fencer asked.

I shrugged. "Of course they will. In canon, there was just one person watching the ship. Now, there's three. The odds are way better."

"Who was the one in canon?" Pridak inquired.

"Chopper," I told him.

We all heard a rumble.

"What the hell was that?" asked Fencer.

"I'm sure the skeleton knows," Pridak commented.

"It could have been a giant snake, but I'm not sure," I guessed.

Our baby transponder snail suddenly rang. Pridak snatched it up before I had a chance to reach for it.

"This is Gold Team! We need backup—now!" Usopp shouted.

"This is Biz Sharky, and you can handle it yourself," Pridak replied before hanging up.

"Dick move, dude." Fencer glared at him.

A few minutes earlier

"Okay, you'll want to hammer the nails here, here, and here," Usopp instructed. "Can you handle that?"

"Of course I can," Skeleton Buddy responded confidently. "I was a jack of all trades back home. Why do you think my list of talents was so random?"

"I was wondering about that," Nami said as she held the wood in place.

Suddenly, the group's baby transponder snail began ringing.

Usopp answered, "This is Usopp."

"Use your codename, would you?" Declan told him.

He groaned and complied.

SB chuckled, but he was soon distracted by the sound of flapping wings. He turned around and saw a gigantic bird hovering close to the ship. Atop its back was a man in an old-fashioned aviator suit carrying a lance.

"Holy shit!"

"Well, it seems we have three new sacrifices for God," the man stated.

"Usopp! Call a team back here!" Nami demanded.

The sniper quickly made a call, "This is Gold Team! We need backup—now!"

"This is Biz Sharky, and you can handle it yourself," Pridak replied before hanging up on him.

Nami glared at Skeleton Buddy, who held up his hands in surrender. "It was Mantax's idea for them to join."

The skeleton then took the initiative and pointed his fingers at the man on the bird.

"You'll fire three of your fingertips at my bird," the man predicted.

SB lowered his hand, remembering who he was up against. Turning to his friends, he warned them, "This guy can predict our moves. His name's Shura and he's a priest of Eneru."

"When this is over, I'm gonna hit you for not telling us he was gonna show up," Nami growled. She blew Gan Fall's whistle and pulled out her Clima-Tact while Usopp drew his slingshot.

"Well, here's something useful: he can only predict for one of us at a time," said SB, hoping to alleviate their anger. "We just have to team up and overwhelm him."

Shura scowled. "It's sounding like you don't want to lose your lives here."

"Of course we don't, smart guy," Nami shot back.

"Well, that's unfortunate. Sacrifice is—"

"We don't care," SB said, launching some of his fingertips. "Back me up, Usopp."

The sniper quickly fired an exploding star at the man.

"Fuza, move!" the priest instructed his bird. The beast began darting about to avoid the Straw Hats' barrage. Looping around, Fuza shot a stream of fire from his beak.

Usopp screamed and leapt out of the way as the deck was set ablaze.

"I'll put out the fire! You guys handle him," Skeleton Buddy said as he dashed into the kitchen. Grabbing a bucket of mop water, he came back out and doused the fire with it. Once that was done, he began a cycle of firing his fingertips at the priest before recalling them to his hand so he could fire them again.

Between Usopp and SB's attacks, the priest had no time to counterattack. He soon noticed that the area had grown a bit darker, but before he could do anything, he and his bird were zapped by a bolt of lightning. Unfortunately, none of this was enough to keep them down.

"Lord Eneru wouldn't smite me in the middle of a sacrifice," Shura observed, grunting in pain. "What was that?"

Nami grinned. "While you were busy with my friends, I used that time to create a thundercloud. What do you think? Was it true to life?"

Shura growled and changed tactics. He leapt off his bird and landed on the deck of the ship, swiping at the Straw Hats with his lance. Meanwhile, Fuza breathed more flames, igniting the deck all over again.

"Crap!" Nami shouted. "We don't have much spare water lying around…Wait!" The navigator looked at her Clima-Tact and began creating Heat Balls with it, hoping to summon some rain.

"Oh, Robin? Would you like me to carry your backpack for you?" Sanji offered.

"Would you shut up already?" Mantax growled.

Sanji glared at him. "What was that for?"

"That's the eighth time you've asked that, and we haven't even been walking for half an hour," the black Barraki pointed out.

"That's because, unlike you and Moss-head, I actually have the decency to—"

Before the chef could finish his comeback, Mantax grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him into his knee, jabbing him shallowly with his knee spike. Sanji collapsed, limp.

"That's all I care to hear from you," Mantax said.

Robin merely raised an eyebrow at the exchange. "Will he be okay?"

"He'll be fine. The effect of my venom wears off after about ten minutes," Mantax explained. "Even if it was lethal, I'm sure Dr. Teddy Bear could synthesize a cure. He's quite skilled from what I've seen."

"So what, we're just waiting around for ten minutes now?" Robin asked.

"No need," Mantax said. He wrapped his left arm around Sanji's upper torso while using his tail to grab the chef's legs. "Let's keep moving."

As the members of Black Team who were still conscious kept walking, they caught sight of Green Team approaching them from the left. The two teams passed each other by without saying a word. Stoic as they were, Mantax and Robin were still surprised when Zoro and Ehlek approached them from the same direction a second time only a minute later.

This time, Zoro had something to say, "I forgot to ask this last time. What happened to the cook?"

"I envenomated him," Mantax replied.

"Couldn't you just say you poisoned him?" Zoro asked.

Mantax shook his head as much as his build allowed. "Poison and venom aren't the same thing."

"Huh. You learn something new every day," said Zoro. With that, he and Ehlek departed again.

Black Team took that as a cue to resume walking as well. Less than a minute later, Green Team passed them by again.

"I can't help but wonder how they keep circling around so fast," Robin commented.

"I would say it has something to do with Neon's sense of direction, or lack thereof," Mantax speculated.

"Is it really that bad?" Robin asked.

Mantax nodded. "Yes, yes it is."

As more time passed, Sanji eventually regained feeling in his, well, everything.

"I oughta kick your ass back down to the Blue Sea, you shitty stingray!"

"Do you want me to numb you again?" Mantax threatened him. Suddenly, the team's transponder snail rang to life, halting the argument. The black Barraki held out the snail for Sanji. "You take it."

Sanji obviously wasn't happy, but he complied. "This is Johnny Bravo. Come in?"

The people on the other side of the line stifled their laughter.

He groaned. "What's so funny?"

"It's funny because you're a blonde guy who hits on every woman he sees," Declan explained.

"He's got you there," Mantax commented, with Robin nodding in agreement.

Ignoring them, Sanji asked the members of White Team, "Did you guys need something?"

"Nah, we were just bored," Fencer replied. "Has Black Manta eaten anyone?"

"I'm considering it," Mantax responded.

Declan and Fencer chuckled again, and Fencer continued, "What about you, Birdbrain? No, wait, let me guess: you're just here to provide long, sullen silences and smartass remarks."

"Actually, I've made a few neutral comments here and there," Robin countered.

Pridak interjected, "Have you also encountered Green Team multiple times on your journey?"

"We have," Mantax answered.

"I wonder if Red Team will run into them," Robin said. "Or maybe they already have."

"Makes no difference to me," Pridak deadpanned. "We're hanging up." And so he did.

Sanji nodded and continued onward. "Well, if that's done, let's kee—gyah!" He screamed as his foot sank into the ground up to his knee. "What the hell is this?!"

Mantax grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him out of the sinkhole.

Taking a good look, Robin observed, "It seems the spot you sank through is a different type of cloud than the ones we've seen previously."

"Come to think of it," Mantax said, "why are we back in the clouds? We were walking on solid ground before."

Robin used her power to spawn a bunch of arms on the ground and feel out the terrain. "There's quite a few of those clouds the chef fell through. Be careful where you step."

The sound of someone clearing their throat caught the group's attention. They looked and saw a man in a purple suit with funny hair staring them down. The staredown lasted about ten seconds before Mantax broke the silence.

"Are you going to say something or what?" he asked.

The man pondered the question for a second before his eyes widened. He clutched his head in surprise, exclaiming, "How careless!"

"What's careless?" Sanji asked.

"I forgot to open my mouth when I spoke!" the man said.

"You can't be serious," Mantax deadpanned.

"Mind telling us who you are?" Robin asked.

That made the man regain his cool. He straightened his arms and crossed them over one another in a failed attempt to fold his arms. "I am a priest of the mighty god Eneru," he announced. "My name is Gedatsu, and you have the misfortune of wandering into my territory: the ordeal of swamp!"

The three Straw Hats tilted their heads at the title.

"Don't get your hopes up about living through this. The survival rate here is fifty percent," Gedatsu boasted.

Sanji said what his teammates were thinking, "Is that supposed to make us feel threatened?"

"Indeed, I—" Gedatsu stopped himself to sidestep Mantax, who came at him with a flying kick.

"Forget this. Just take him out already!" Mantax said, looking at Robin.

The Straw Hats' archaeologist didn't respond verbally, but nodded her assent.

Gedatsu's eyes widened as arms sprouted on his back and grabbed his chest. Before they could pull him into a backbreaker, he grabbed two of the arms by the index fingers and flicked his wrists, breaking them.

The pain made Robin lose her focus, causing the arms to vanish.

Enraged at the sight of a woman getting injured, Sanji charged in, throwing a kick aimed at the priest's ribs. The kick missed when, to everyone's surprise, Gedatsu rocketed into the air by expelling cloud matter from his shoes.

"He can fly?!" Sanji thought out loud.

"It looks like it," Mantax responded.

Cloud matter gathered in Gedatsu's palms. "Swamp cloud burger!" he yelled as he threw the new clouds.

The Straw Hats dodged the clouds without too much issue.

"I have a plan! Wrap him up, woman!" Mantax shouted.

Robin did as he said and used her powers once more. This time, however, before Gedatsu could do anything about it, Mantax grabbed Sanji and threw him at the priest.

Realizing what Mantax had in mind, Sanji hit Gedatsu with a kick to the face. "Mouton Shoot!"

And with that one finishing move, Gedatsu was knocked out, winning the Straw Hats the fight.

"Well, I think we've had enough excitement for one day," Robin said. "Who thinks we should head back to the ship?"

SB had a surprisingly easy time dodging Shura's attacks. Since the priest was using a lance, he mostly attacked by thrusting. Unfortunately, Shura's mantra allowed him to dodge all of his counterattacks.

Even while he was preoccupied with the skeleton, Shura was still able to sidestep Usopp's metal stars. As they continued exchanging blows, they all felt raindrops, making them pause for a second.

"Rain?" Shura frowned. "But that type of cloud doesn't form at this altitude."

"They can when I'm involved," Nami boasted. She swung her Clima-Tact at the priest.

He limboed under the swing, but this left him open to a kick in the head from SB, stunning him.

The clone looked at Nami and said, "With me!" He then wound up for an uppercut, the navigator following his lead. Moving in sync, the two threw their punches and sent the priest flying off into the distance.

Fuza flapped his massive wings and went after his master, leaving the three Straw Hats to breathe a sigh of relief.

Noticing the rain had put out the fires, Usopp remarked, "Good idea, Nami."

"Thanks," she replied. She looked from her fist to Skeleton Buddy. "Maybe I should get fighting lessons from you."

"You serious?" SB asked, happy at the idea.

Usopp interjected, "That can wait until later. For now, we'd better repair this ship before it falls apart."

The sound of flapping caught their attention again. They looked up, scrambling for their weapons when they saw the bird approaching again; Fuza had caught Shura and was returning to the ship for round two.

However, their dismay turned to relief when Gan Fall approached the priest from behind. Leaping from his own bird onto Shura's, he thrust his palm into his back. "Impact!"

The impact dial in his gauntlet activated, finally knocking Shura out. With his master defeated, Fuza decided to retreat.

Hopping off the enemy bird, Gan Fall landed on the deck of the Going Merry.

"Nice," said SB.

"Not to sound ungrateful, but what took you so long?!" Usopp yelled.

Gan Fall bowed his head. "My apologies. I rushed here but I was quite a ways away."

"That's all right," said SB. "I'd say you were right on time."

"Oh, the islands in the north are—"

"Shut up," Kalmah cut Luffy off.

"Aww, come on, Squidward," Luffy complained.

The three-eyed Barraki growled, "Don't call me Squidward."

Luffy grinned. "I didn't pick it. Declan gave us our codenames, so we should use them."

"But I don't want to be called Doctor Teddy Bear," Chopper whined.

"It's not that bad," Luffy said.

Chopper huffed. "Easy for you to say. You're Mr. Fantastic!"

Kalmah pushed them along with his tentacles. "Let's just keep moving."

As Red Team walked around, they spotted Green Team approaching them from the left. After passing them by, it was only a few minutes before they encountered Green Team again—and again and again.

"I can't tell if we're lost or they're lost," Kalmah thought aloud.

"Probably them. Zoro's sense of direction is crazy bad," Luffy explained.

"Uh, guys?" Chopper asked. "Do you see anything over there?"

Luffy and Kalmah looked in the direction the little reindeer was pointing.

"I don't see anything," the captain said.

Kalmah, on the other hand, took a step forward. He picked up a fallen branch and threw it. The branch ended up hitting the background, or at least what looked like the background.

"Whatever that creature is, it's big."

The big creature in question began moving, revealing that, as big as it was, it was still well camouflaged. It slithered closer to the trio. With a low hiss, an enormous, scaled head emerged from the trees.

"Whoa, it's like a gigantic anaconda," Luffy observed before gasping. "It's a giganticonda!"

Kalmah bonked him on the head. "We can make up nicknames later. For now, I say we run."

"I second that motion!" Chopper agreed vehemently.

The three members of Red Team all ran as fast as they could, the giant snake snapping at their heels as they swept through the brush.

"I have an idea!" Luffy declared. "Chopper, give me the worst tasting medicine you have!"

Chopper pulled out a small bottle and handed it to Luffy, who threw it behind him for the snake to swallow.

The snake gagged and stopped in its tracks to spit the medicine out.

The group exhaled collectively in relief. To be on the safe side, they kept on running for a little while. But after a few minutes, they were sure it had lost them.

"Okay, on the upside, we've gotten well away from that snake," Kalmah said once they came to a stop. "On the downside, we've completely lost our way and have no way of finding the rest of the crew."

While Chopper looked ready to panic at the assessment, Luffy tried to calm him down. "Don't worry, guys. We can get through this. We just have to stay salubrious."

His crewmates tilted their heads at his choice of words but said nothing. Having few other options, the group was forced to wander around aimlessly in hopes of getting back to the ship. In just a few hours, the sun began setting.

"What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? The sun's almost down and we still haven't found our friends and—"

Kalmah cut off Chopper's rapid-fire rambling by smacking him upside the head. "If you're feeling that anxious, then you can just snuggle with yourself."

"I'm not a teddy bear!"

"Whatever."

Kalmah decided to start a fire. Holding a stick with one of his tentacles, he rubbed it against another stick he held in his actual hand. A small column of smoke drifted into the air, and soon enough, a fire had started. Once that was done, he reached into hammerspace and pulled out a bottle.

"What's that?" Luffy asked.

"Vodka," the Barraki answered. "I need a way to pass the time." The sun hadn't completely set yet, which allowed the trio to spot a shadow that passed over them.

"What was that?" Kalmah asked.

"How about we go find out?" Luffy suggested.

"That doesn't sound like a good idea," Chopper said.

His words fell on deaf ears as Luffy left anyway. Not knowing what else to do, the other two members of Red Team followed him—after putting out the fire, of course. The further they went, the closer the flying creature got to the ground. Eventually, the creature noticed them beneath the trees and descended into a clearing.

The creature resembled a Chinese dragon, though its body was covered with white fins.

"Wow, it's a giraffe," Luffy observed. Kalmah and Chopper slowly turned their heads to look at their captain, which he noticed. "What?"

The dragon roared, which Chopper translated, "How the hell do you confuse an elder dragon and a giraffe?!"

"He's an idiot. You get used to it," Kalmah replied.

The dragon gave a couple more roars.

"Well, get it right! It's bad enough having to deal with that lightning-loving loser! I don't need an idiot like you mixing me up with other animals!" Chopper translated.

"Lightning?" Kalmah repeated. "You must mean Eneru. Funny, we're actually here to fight him."

That made the dragon pause before it burst into laughter, or at least the closest a dragon can get to laughter. When it was finished, it "spoke" once more.

"You? Fight Eneru? What makes you think you can do better than anyone else who's tried?"

Taking a break from translating, Chopper chimed in with some words of his own, "Luffy is made of rubber. That should make him immune to electricity."

The little reindeer then had to translate for the elder dragon once more, "Ha! If it were that simple to beat Eneru, I would've done it myself by now!"

"We just said he's immune to electricity," Kalmah deadpanned. "He ate a Devil Fruit."

The dragon perked up, "A Devil Fruit? Hm, perhaps you're not all talk. With my storm powers and your Devil Fruit, we could take Eneru down once and for all!" He roared triumphantly. "Very well, I am willing to lend you a hand! Be grateful!"

Kalmah leaned down to his crewmates, "Is it strange that he talked himself into that more than we actually did?"

"Nope," Luffy smiled before changing the subject somewhat, "Hey, you said you were an elder dragon, right? Does that mean you're really old?"

Knowing he'd have to translate the dragon's reply, Chopper sighed, saying, "I wish Fencer were here to take over. I'm getting tired."

Nonetheless, he translated, "I'm glad you asked! I am a middle-aged, rare breed of creature with few others like me in the world: the divine storm dragon! I am Amatsumagatsuchi! Though, if I feel you've earned it, I may let you simply call me Amatsu!"

"I think we'll use Amatsu," Kalmah deadpanned, unimpressed with the monster's boast.

"Yeah, that's easier to remember," Luffy agreed.

While Amatsu raged at the disrespect, Kalmah told the rest of the group, "Alright, alright, let's get moving again. Finding the crew should be easier with a dragon to help us search."