(May 25 2024)—-

I've been doing nothing but resting since I got rescued from Akechi's prison. It's a good thing I got saved when I did... I remember I was starting to lose hope, not to mention it felt like the wound in my belly was about to burst open. I came back to the hospital nine days ago, so I suppose it was normal to still feel a bit shaken up, but it's not all the pain I had to endure that's making me feel terrible after the fact, it was UMP-45's untimely and frankly brutal demise. I fought through pain in pretty much every part of my body so I could live long enough to get the revenge 45 wanted, but no matter how hard I fight, 45 is dead... and its going to stay that way. I woke up at 5:00 one morning because at some point in the prison my body clock adjusted to waking up before the air horn sounded. Being jolted awake from a deep sleep was just terrible. I was actually going to say, 'it was torture,' but I've been through actual torture. I laid in bed awake trying my best to relax, but the memories just kept coming back and making me feel like I was still there. It felt like I was going back to the prison to re-live all those still-fresh memories, but then I realized Soppo was snuggled underneath my right shoulder, and I was immediately reeled back to mental safety. Soppo and I didn't get off on the right foot, but she's been warming up to me quite a bit, and I'm also warming up to her. Soppo laying next to me was actually pretty relaxing. Strange thing is she was kind of reminding me that I was back home. Like I said before, I was still very shaken up because the bitter memories of the prison were still fresh, but Soppo was inadvertently relaxing me. I gently laid my hand on her head.

"Mmmfff... bad man... if you keep... hurting... Catman... I will... eat your... heart..." Soppo murmured in her sleep. I stroked her head a little bit to calm her down, since I figured she was having a bad dream. After a little bit of stroking her head, she snuggled closer to me. I laid my head all the way back while exhaling all the tension that had been building in me since I woke up earlier.

—-

"Shikikan?" I heard a distant voice calling out to me. "Is it ok if I come in?" It took me a couple of seconds to realize that I had fallen back asleep. I still felt off, like you'd usually feel right after you got up, but that was the most refreshed I had felt in a while.

"Come in!" I answered. UMP-9 came into the room with her gun. "Why do you have your gun with you?"

"This isn't mine," 9 started, "This was UMP-45's. The other girls took the armory in the prison and got everyone their weapons back, including hers."

"Good thing it got saved." I said. "I don't think 45 would have wanted her gun being used against us."

"The torch needs to be passed on… it's what sis would have wanted…" 9 said while staring intently at the gun. "So I'm giving it to you."

"Me?" I asked in disbelief. "Why me?"

"Because you have an iron will, just like sis did." 9 said proudly. "I look at you… and I see some of her in you. All that time in the prison, not only did you remain unbroken, but you got me back in the game when I was feeling broken. 45-sis kept me going through a lot of tough situations, and she would have done the same in the prison… if she was there."

"She really was something special." I said sadly. As glad as I was that no one else died from this whole thing… UMP-45's life was a huge price to pay. One I will forever wish I never had to pay. I could feel tears welling up. I still felt at fault for her death.

"You did nothing wrong." 9 consoled me, apparently being able to read people. "There was no other way… we all knew that. 45-sis knew it too." 9 looked down and exhaled sharply with tears rolling down her face slowly. "I can't think of anyone better to give this to than you. Make my sister proud, Shikikan." She held the UMP close to me. I felt very hesitant about taking it.

"These are pretty big shoes to fill…" I looked in 9's eyes. "Are you positive you want me to have your sister's old gun… the only thing left of her?" I was expecting 9 to be conflicted, but to my surprise she was completely unhesitant with her answer.

"I've been thinking about this from the moment we came back from the prison." 9 reminisced. "I thought to myself, 'who can carry out what 45-sis would have wanted?' My first thought was you… and no one else. This isn't hard for me… I know 45-sis would agree with me." 9 put the gun in my hands and I accepted. I looked at it for a few seconds… The UMP-45 was a very light gun, most likely would be easier to run with it. It also had a suppressor on the end of it, which means I could handle encounters quietly. It was a very sleek and durable-looking gun… but…

"This isn't loaded, right?" I asked 9. A look of shock came across her face as she quickly leaned over and pulled the charging handle back and up, locking the bolt in the open position. A .45 acp shell came flying out and even though 9 was ready for it, she still did a pretty bad job of catching it. She eventually caught it and hid it behind her back.

"Right…" 9 said while blushing. "Well, I should go you need your rest Shikikan G'bye!" 9 quickly ran out of my room, then she came back in very slowly, inching towards the nightstand. "You dropped this… you might need it." She put the .45 bullet on my nightstand then nonchalantly walked out of my room. I was still feeling pretty drowsy, so I put the UMP on the floor, leaned against my nightstand. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. I could feel all of my muscles going limp and relaxing, sinking into the soft bed, a nice change from the cold hard stone floor. I felt like I was floating on a cloud as I fell back asleep, but then I felt tiny feet walking up my chest and towards my face.

"Catman?" I knew that was Soppo. I opened my eyes to see an excited lil' baby standing on top of me. "Let's play together!"

"I promise I'll play with you later." I slurred my words out of drowsiness. "I need to sleep just a little while longer." Soppo started doing this thing I've seen her do a few times where she would say 'please' using her eyes. It was very hard to say 'no,' but I really needed the sleep, especially because my belly wound is still healing. "I'm sorry, Soppo. How about you play with Nanako until I wake up?" I suggested. Soppo jumped off my chest onto the bed then jumped to the floor. I watched her excitedly scurry out of the room as my vision started fading away.

—-

I kept hearing these weird sounds as I was waking up. Some sort of weird rustling sound followed by something tapping on the wall. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming that or if there was something going on. For a minute I thought some of Akechi's guards were walking down the hallways capturing everybody. In hindsight that was kind of a stretch, but I was paranoid at the time. I opened my eyes, ready to grab the UMP and the first sign of trouble, but I didn't see anything. I leaned forward enough to see what was going on, then I saw the source of the sounds. Soppo was drawing on the wall with crayons. The rustling sound was her putting the crayon she just used back in the box and getting a new color out. When she turned around to put her crayon away, she noticed I was up.

"Catman! I drew you, me and M4!" Soppo said excitedly. I got in my wheelchair so I could get a closer look. Soppo jumped on my lap when I got close to her drawing. "There's you and M4, and you're both holding my hands and swinging me! And I'm saying, 'I love you M4 and Catman!'" That was one of the cutest things I had ever seen. It's weird to remember that me and Soppo didn't exactly get off to a good start.

"It's beautiful, Soppo." I told her. "You are a very good artist. Do you want to go play now?" Soppo started jumping up and down excitedly in my lap. Luckily, she's very light so it didn't hurt.

"Yay!" Soppo exclaimed. "We get to play together! Let's go to the ramp!" Soppo climbed onto my shoulder. "Shift into maximum overdrive, Catman!" I wheeled myself out of the room as fast as I could, but as I turned a corner, I almost ran over M200.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I was in your way, Shikikan" M200 said, surprisingly calmly, considering I almost flattened her. "I'm... glad you're safe again."

"It's good to be back here and out of Akechi's cruel grubby hands." I said happily. As I was saying that, M200 waved at Soppo.

"Where are you and Sopmod Jr off to today?" M200 asked. Soppo jumped off my shoulder and onto my lap, being careful of my wound and my… no-no part.

"Catman is taking me to the ramp!" Soppo said while waving her little arms. "We're going to go so fast!"

"Oh okay, just please be careful Shikikan." M200 warned me. "I can help you if you hurt yourself... if you want me to."

"Thank you, M200, but I'll be careful." I reassured M200. "I don't want to hurt myself yet again.

"Ok, well... have fun then." M200 continued down the hall. I then took Soppo to the lobby because it had an AWESOME ramp there, I got so much speed going down it! I positioned myself at the top of the ramp.

"Hold on Soppo! We're about to leave skid-marks on the tiles!" I yelled while hyped up.

"Do your worst, Catman!" Soppo said as she held onto my shirt. I gripped both the wheels and did a full send. Soppo and I were FLYING down the ramp and when we got to the bottom, we cruised across the lobby. We almost hit the wall, but I was able to slow us down enough, so we just… you know, bumped the wall. Very softly. It didn't hurt.

"AGAIN!" Soppo yelled. We went down the ramp about seven times before Soppo fell asleep in my lap. She got so pumped up, but she's still a baby. If I'm being honest, I got pretty tired from all that as well. I headed back to the second floor with Soppo asleep in my lap. I rode the elevator up, and when the doors opened, I saw HK and 9 angrily passing by.

"That diabetic oompa-loompa!" HK growled. They were both angrily trudging down the hallway. I don't think they noticed me.

"9, HK, what's going on?" I asked. They didn't answer my question, nor did they stop. I took off after them. They went into G11's room, grabbed her by the jacket and threw her onto the floor.

"How could you?" 9 yelled in tears. "My sister is DEAD because of you!"

"STOP IT NOW!" I yelled as loud as I could. HK and 9 stopped dead in their tracks. G11 tried to get up off the floor but 9 forced her back onto the floor. "What is going on?"

"She's the reason the outpost we took got over-run!" HK yelled. "We were each tasked with fortifying one side of the outpost as soon as we took it, but guess who didn't fortify the East side?"

"Wait, what outpost? I asked.

"The one we took from the CWC honor guard before we got captured." 9 said with tears falling out of her eyes. "45 told us to fortify one wall each, and G11 ignored her orders, and they came in through the side SHE was supposed to fortify!" Hearing that was shocking. It was almost like hearing G11 killed 45 herself. I know she didn't literally kill 45, but everything that happened that day... 45's horrible death and the rest of us getting taken and tortured... it was because of G11's negligence. I was trying to piece words together, but it was very difficult because I was feeling frazzled.

"G11…" I stammered. "...Why?"

"I'm so sorry!" G11 whimpered. "I didn't know they would come to get us."

"Sorry doesn't cut it!" HK growled. "I don't want to fight alongside you anymore! I don't trust you anymore!" It was getting very uncomfortable with all the yelling and G11 being so upset. It's an ugly situation, but I knew what had to be done.

"G11," I started, "You can't fight anymore. I want to avoid other instances like this, since what just happened could have been easily avoided. UMP-9, HK416, are you two ok with this?"

"Sounds good to me." 9 said with crossed arms. "What do you think, HK?"

"As long as I don't have to fight with Sleepo-beepo again." HK said very under her breath.

"Wait!" G11 cried. "I can improve! This won't happen again, I swear! I still want to help!"

"You've 'helped' enough…" 9 said softly yet aggressively. She didn't even make eye contact with G11 when she said this. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, then HK and 9 left G11's room. As I was leaving, I looked back before I turned the corner, and saw G11 sitting against the wall with her mouth hanging open and tears streaming down her face. She sat there motionless and in shock. I hated having to do that… but it would take a miracle to make me trust G11 again. Maybe not even then. I brought Soppo, who was in my lap the entire time, back to my room and tucked her into my bed. Then I just sat there and stared at the wall. I never thought that I would have to do something like that. I felt overwhelmed. I wheeled myself towards my nightstand and picked up the UMP-45. I just held it and stared at it for a while.

"45…" I muttered, "I'm so sorry. You didn't have to die like that." There was nothing I could have done... G11 basically let this happen. I saw a few red flags before... maybe if I had done what I just did a while ago, 45 would still be with us today.

—-

"Klonoa?" I heard accompanied by a knock on the doorframe. I turned my head slightly so I could see who it was out of the corner of my eye. It was Suomi. Normally seeing her makes me feel better, regardless of what I was going through, but not this time. I had been driving myself crazy all day.

"Hi Suomi." I said as happily as I could. I apparently didn't do a very good job.

"What's wrong?" She asked with her head tilted. She came closer to me and put her hand on my shoulder. That made me feel better for a split second. "Want to talk to me about it?" I slowly nodded my head yes. Suomi helped me onto my bed then sat next to me.

"I had to tell G11 that she wasn't allowed to fight anymore. I feel like I may have overstepped my bounds." I admitted.

"Why don't you want her fighting anymore?" Suomi asked.

"G11 was supposed to be guarding one of the entrances of an outpost 404 took, but she fell asleep and let Akechi's men right in. That's what led to the… events as of late." Suomi, like me, was shocked. "I think it's really hard for me to forgive G11 because…" I had to pause. I got a little choked up and I didn't want to burst into tears. "...I saw 45's death with my own eyes. She suffered so much. Now all that's left of her is her gun. 9 gave it to me, saying she was 'passing on the torch.' None of this would have happened if I didn't send G11 to help with the outpost… " Suomi looked like she was trying to think of something to say. I exhaled sharply. "The signs were there, but I didn't take notice of them. Maybe I'm just a bad Shikikan."

"No Klonoa. You're not a bad Shikikan." Suomi said instantaneously. "The fact that you're this sad about losing a doll shows that you care about us. You just have to understand, in a war like this, deaths are inevitable. We just don't want you to be the one who dies. That's the duty of a T-doll." Suomi looked down at the floor. "45 got killed so you wouldn't have to."

"The entire reason why I went down there and offered myself to Akechi was so he could kill me then leave everyone else alone." I admitted. "At least that's what I thought would happen."

"Klonoa, we need you." Suomi said outright. "If there's anyone who can lead us to take down Akechi, it's you. I mean, you've gotten us this far, and Akechi's really struggling now. I know that you will be the one to lead us to victory."

"I just don't want anyone else to die. I also feel out of line telling G11 not to fight anymore." I admitted.

"You weren't out of line at all." Suomi said. "You are doing what's best for everyone else. That's why you're the best Shikikan we've ever had." Suomi smiled at me. "You have this strength within you that never stops, even when nothing is going your way. You've had a metal shard plunged through your stomach, you've been tortured, and you still have the weight of possibly leaving this world on your mind, and yet here you are, still fighting and always unbreakable." That pep talk perked me up a bit. That conversation made me feel a little better.

"I still feel bad about G11." I said. "I feel like I hurt her feelings."

"I know you're just thinking of the wellbeing of everyone else." Suomi said.

"It's just that…" I started with a bunch of regret in my heart. "When I told G11 she couldn't fight anymore, I thought she would be kind of relieved and just go back to sleep… but she was devastated. I didn't know fighting meant so much to her. She sure never showed how much it meant to her."

"I don't know much about her." Suomi admitted. "Feelings aside though, Akechi won't be easy to take down, so we can't have any weak links. I mean… her laziness caused 45 to be killed… and it caused you to be taken away." Suomi looked down at the floor and swung her legs slightly. "I think you made the right choice."

"I hope you're right Suomi. I still feel terrible. I probably will for a while." I admitted. "All I know is, if G11 wants to fight again, she's really going to have to prove herself."

"If she's this much of a danger to everyone she fights with, you definitely made the right decision, Klonoa." Suomi said as she reached her arm around me. "I would... I mean... WE would be completely lost without you." Suomi just stared at the floor. It was silent for a few moments. "You... you did make the right choice, Klonoa. I have no doubt about it."

"I just... I hope G11 will be ok..."