(July 7, 2024)—-—-—-
I know I will have to go back out there to start carving into Neptune's region… but it's just so hard to leave the girls' estate. It's cozy, it's safe, it's upbeat and fun, and not to mention everyone here is super fun to talk to! Yu, Suomi and I have been here for two full days now and I have no desire to leave. I'll tell you one thing; Soppo has missed me so much. She's been clinging onto me every waking hour, not that I mind. I missed her too. I've started wearing the baby bjorn I made out of duct tape like it's my everyday shirt. I've been spending a little bit of time on the radio trying to find resistance groups to fight with in Neptune's region, but honestly I don't want to find any. I know I have to though, so I really have been trying.
"Catman, let's play together!" Soppo said excitedly as she was swinging the baby bjorn she was in.
"We'll play later, I promise. I need to try and find people in Neptune's region." I said as I was slowly changing frequencies on the radio but getting only static. I felt Soppo hang her head in disappointment. I tried a little while longer to find anyone on the radio, but I wanted to do something else, since I had been sitting there for so long. I was tired of sitting and I knew Soppo was bored.
"Shikikan?" I heard accompanied by a knock on the doorframe. I turned to see M1 Garand. "Springfield, Mosin and I are going to go shooting, wanna come with?"
"I'm sorry, but I feel like I should stay on the radio a little while longer." I said feeling conflicted. I really wanted to go with them but I couldn't help but think of all the poor souls in Neptune's region. Especially considering Suomi hearing her friend's cries for help in her sleep a week ago.
"What if I took over for you?" M1 said.
"Really? You would do that?" I said as I stood up in excitement.
"Definitely. You go out and have fun. Besides, I have pretty good luck when it comes to radios." M1 said confidently. "And… I went shooting two days ago and I gave myself garand thumb…" She showed me her right thumb and it was a mess. It was swollen and purple, and her nail was horribly mangled.
"Well ok then…" I said while trying to mask my shock at M1's thumb. M1 sat at the desk and put the headset on, happy as could be. "Let's go shoot some guns then!" I said to Soppo as I left the room.
"Gya gya gyaaa!" Soppo said in excitement. I went out to the garage, where Mosin Nagant and Springfield were waiting.
"Privyet, Shikikan!" Mosin said happily. "Did you want to come shooting with us?"
"M1 Garand wanted to stay here and use the radio, so she told me I should go… if you don't mind." I said slightly awkwardly.
"We would love it if you and Sopmod Jr came with us, Hon!" Springfield said happily. WIth that, we got into a jeep and started driving.
—-—-—-—-
We drove for a while until we found one of Akechi's propaganda signs. It depicted Akechi holding his crowbar proudly right next to a saying; 'You just sit back and relax while we rid the world of troublesome trolls.' Akechi thought he was so great, but what he'll never know about that crowbar on the sign is that it's mine now. Mosin Nagant pulled the jeep over and we walked out to the sign.
"So… Mosin?" I started as we were making our way to the sign.
"Da, Shikikan?" Mosin replied.
"What happened between you and Suomi?" I asked. "I don't want to intrude or anything…" Mosin just sighed.
"Nothing happened between us personally, she's just sour about our history. Almost a century ago Russia invaded Finland. The Fins drove the invaders out in the beginning, but after some time, Russia went back in while better-equipped. The Fins were forced to sign a peace treaty with Russia at the end of the short war." Mosin informed me. "She's like that with all the Russian girls."
"Suomi's just… patriotic." Springfield added. "She'll work with our Russian dolls, she just doesn't like it."
"Suomi's just so innocent and sweet, it's hard to imagine her holding a grudge." I admitted. "Anyway, let's shoot stuff."
"You said it, hon!" Springfield said. "I brought some extra 7.62 for you. I also made us healthy bagged lunches."
"There you go again, 'Mom-field.'" Mosin said jokingly. "I suppose you brought some bactine spray just in case we get a boo-boo?"
"Right here." Springfield said holding a bottle of bactine spray she took out of her pocket.
"Let's shoot now!" Soppo said impatiently. We started shooting at the sign immediately after Soppo spoke up. Springfield and Mosin let me try their rifles, and I have to say it was fun firing them, but I knew my shoulder would be sore the next day. After a while, just standing and shooting at the sign got kind of boring so we started doing crazy stuff, like jumping, spinning all the way around then trying to shoot the sign. I had trouble with it at first, but the two girls got it down right away. It was like *boom* bullseye, *boom* bullseye. I always thought target practice was just standing there seeing how well I could shoot, but these girls brought it up to a whole new level. I was running, sliding, jumping and shooting. Eventually we started taking turns driving the jeep around and jumping out of it, immediately followed by shooting. It was kind of dangerous since we all had loaded guns, so the girls made sure I knew to keep my finger off the trigger until I was ready to shoot. Unfortunately we had to keep Soppo in the jeep the whole time, since we were running and jumping around with loaded weapons. She was having lots of fun riding in the jeep though, so it all ended up being ok. After some very fun and rigorous target practice, I was glad Springfield made lunches for all of us, because I was super hungry. We climbed on top of the jeep and sat on the roof. Springfield then handed us our bagged lunches.
"So what's for lunch today, Mom-field?" Mosin asked mockingly. Springfield then rapidly reached into Mosin's bag and took something in a small yellow wrapper out.
"Not a fruit roll-up anymore. At least not for you" Springfield said. "I made PB&P sandwiches."
"Wait, what's PB&P?" I asked. I've heard of PB&J (Peanut Butter and Jelly just in case you don't know) but I've never heard of PB&P.
"It's peanut butter and crappy jelly." Mosin said, sounding disappointed.
"Jelly is nothing but sugar and gelatin," Springfield informed. "Preserves are much better for you. I also gave you both carrots and a juice box."
"How old do you think we are?" Mosin asked, sounding kind of serious.
"A healthy meal once in a while never hurts." Springfield said.
"That doesn't answer my question." Mosin said. "At least I have this…" She then reached in her pocket and pulled out some sort of small metal rectangular bottle. Springfield had a look of shock on her face.
"Put that away before Soppo-" Springfield was cut off by Soppo.
"Ooohhh, what's that?" Soppo asked in bewilderment.
"Uh… um… that's spinach juice, hon." Springfield answered hecticly. She then clenched her teeth and turned her head towards Mosin. "Put… that… away!" Springfield commanded with eyes that could kill. Mosin defeatedly slid the bottle back into her pocket. I got the sandwich out of the bag and had one half of it. I gave the other half to Soppo. The sandwich was kind of meh… but I was so hungry I didn't really care. I was just happy to be eating something. I know what it's like to be hungry and not be able to do anything about it. After I finished eating the sandwich and carrots, I got to the thing called a 'fruit roll-up.' Soppo was very excited about it, she was kicking her legs and reaching out her little hands. I took it out of the package and unrolled this colorful strip of goodness. I split it evenly and gave half of it to Soppo, who started cramming it in her mouth.
"Slow down, hon!" Springfield told Soppo. "You might choke on it!"
"Nah nah nah nah nah!" Soppo retorted with a mouth full of fruit roll-up. I tried it, and my gosh! It was super good! I mean, sure it didn't taste like actual fruit, but it was just amazing! Soppo and I ate the fruit roll-up pretty quickly. Springfield then gave me Mosin's fruit roll-up.
"Wha… WHY?" Mosin yelled at Springfield.
"You shouldn't have disrespected 'Mom-field.'" Springfield said as she polished off her sandwich while eying Mosin. As I was eating, I felt some sort of happiness inside of me, but it felt unfamiliar. Almost like a feeling I've never felt, but I had been wanting for a while. After finishing lunch and doing some more target practice we headed back to the estate. I think it's fair to say I burned off my lunch and then some by adhering to Mosin and Springfield's rigorous target-practice-workout hybrid. Soppo fell asleep in the baby bjorn on the ride back, so I took her out of the bjorn and cradled her in my arms.
—-—-—-—-
The entire car ride, I was trying to get to the bottom of what that feeling was. It started feeling like some sort of gaping hole, and it started making me feel kind of depressed. When we got back, I tucked Soppo into bed then I went to check on M1 Garand, who had been sitting in the radio room all day. I felt kind of bad, I wasn't intending to be gone for that long.
"Hey M1." I said accompanied by a knock on the doorframe. M1 quickly looked at me, looking like she had just been snapped out of a trance. "Sorry, did I startle you?"
"W… what time is it?" M1 asked. I looked at the clock in the hallway.
"It's about 4:45." I answered.
"I missed lunch…" M1 said disappointedly. "I got kind of caught up in finding someone who's fighting Neptune."
"Well at least you seemed to enjoy yourself." I said kind of relieved. At least she didn't hate it. "Did you end up finding a group?"
"No, but I found a possible lead." M1 said excitedly as she pushed a sheet of paper over to me. "I talked to someone who called himself 'The King,' he's not fighting Neptune, but he knows a group that is waging war with Neptune… at least they want to. He said conditions over there are bad for resistance fighters. He wants to meet you tomorrow night at Osmund's bar on the outskirts of Neptune's region. He also wants you to eat dinner beforehand."
"This is great, M1!" I said thankfully, while ignoring how strange it was for 'The King' to specifically want me to eat dinner before meeting him. "Here's a little something for you, a reward for your hard work." I fished the second fruit roll-up out of my pocket and tossed it to M1.
"A fruit roll-up? Gee, thanks Shikikan!" M1 said excitedly as she took the wrapper off and put the whole thing in her mouth… without taking the roll-up off the paper. She just ate the paper!
"Wha… you were supposed to unroll it and take the paper off!" I said with concern.
"I'm too hungry to unwrap it." M1 said. "It's still really good though, the texture's just kind of fricked."
"You'll be ok, right?" I asked while feeling quite concerned.
"Probably, I mean I've eaten pretty bad MRE's before, I'm sure I can handle paper." M1 said confidently. She got out of the chair and headed out of the room, but patted my shoulder on the way out. "You've done so much for us, so if you ever need any help out there in Neptune's region, you call me. I'll get the girls together for you."
"Thank you M1." I said. "I'm glad I helped as many of you as I could." M1 left the room and I just stood there for a bit. I walked over to the table and picked up the paper with all the info M1 got from the guy over the radio. 'The King, Osmund's bar, far South side of Region Neptunia, eat dinner beforehand?' (the question marks were actually on the sheet of paper). I folded the paper up and put it in my pocket, then I walked out of the room with my head hung. The conversation I had with M1 distracted me from the emotional hole I was in, but when I started thinking about it again, it was worse. I wanted to take a walk alone.
"Is everything ok, Shikikan?" AR-15 asked me as I walked through the common room.
"I'm fine…" I said flatly. That was a lie, I wasn't ok… but I didn't know why. "I'm going to take a walk."
"Oh… ok then." AR-15 said, sounding confused. I walked towards the garage, then when I got outside, I just picked a direction and kept on going.
—-—-—-—-
I walked for a while feeling depressed. As I was walking I saw a scorpion walking right across the road. I stopped and let it pass. It looked at me, which made me feel better in a weird way. I waved at it for some reason, and it just stood there staring at me, then it veered back towards the direction it was heading. I watched as it walked off the road and kept going in one direction, just like me. I kept walking aimlessly, still trying to figure out where this sad feeling came from so suddenly.
"You know what this is about, Klonoa." I heard someone say. I gripped the Mac-10 I was carrying and scanned the area cautiously.
"Who's there?" I asked as I looked all around me. I didn't see anyone around me, and yet the voice sounded like it came from within me.
"I'm not physically with you, but I am still with you, nonetheless". The voice said. I scanned the area one more time, then slowly put the Mac-10 back into my pocket.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"You are feeling sorrow, Klonoa." It echoed. "You remember me". It took me a minute to realize who was talking to me.
"The King of Sorrow?" I pondered outloud. I remembered him from when I went to Lunatea, which was the dimension I had been to before this one. That was a long time ago.
"Yes, Klonoa." The King of Sorrow continued. I could almost see him looking me over bluntly with those sad red eyes of his. "There is something you want, you've seen many others have it, even you've had it at one time, but you gave it up."
"My Grandpa?" I guessed.
"Before that. Think, Klonoa. It's something you've repressed for so long, you have forgotten." King of Sorrow said. My head was reeling, I was clueless. Walking in silence and thinking about what he told me, I pondered, 'Something I had, but I gave it up.' I racked my brain for a while and didn't come up with anything. Eventually, I started thinking of the shooting range earlier that day. It was so much fun jumping out of the jeep and doing drive-by-target practice with Springfield, Mosin and Soppo. I also remembered lunch. Springfield made us bagged lunches and Mosin called Springfield 'Mom-field'.
I paused.
"Mom-field…. Mom-M-M-Mom-field?!'
"MOM! MOM? DAD?!" I fell to my knees as all the memories came back. These memories that I had been repressing.
When I was very young, I knew I was destined to become a dream traveler. The priest in my childhood town of Yumen o' Kori told me it would happen when I was fifteen years old. One day when I was only six, I got into a heated argument with my parents and it ended with me telling them I never wanted to see them again. I wanted to leave them forever, since at the time I thought that was the right course of action. So I asked the priest if I could begin my dream traveling earlier. After lying to him and telling him that was what my parents thought was best, He obliged. He gave me a warning before he sent me on my way; You will end up wherever you are needed, you won't have a choice when and if you ever come back to Yumen o' Kori. Despite his warning, I still obliged. Right when I was sent into the dark lonely void, I realized my mistake. I was young. I was alone. I was no longer angry… I was scared. It was ironic that the last choice I made was to give up my ability to make any choices about where I end up, to lie to the priest and to leave my family before it was necessary. I was so naive back then.
"Mom… Dad...?" I sobbed with my face in the sand that had gotten soaked with my tears. "I ran from you both… I miss you both so much!" My head grew heavy. I had forgotten their faces. I want to go back to them but I can't. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go home. After lying in the sand for a long time, I tried to regain the emotional fortitude to make the walk back to the estate. I could have called in help but I didn't want anyone to see their Shikikan so broken up. Maybe talking to Yu and Suomi about it would help but I would honestly feel awkward if I broke down in front of them. I made myself get up and I stumbled back to the estate. It wasn't an easy journey, as I felt so out of it emotionally.
—-—-—-—-
By the time I made it back to the estate, it was getting dark. I didn't want anyone to see me so sad about my past because I was honestly kind of worried it would change the way they saw me. I strapped on a smile and strutted through the living room.
"Good evening, Shikikan." MP-40 said when I walked past her. "You look very… happy tonight."
"Oh… do I?" I kind of stammered. "Uh… good." I kept walking through, but I could tell MP-40 was confused. I went over to Cafe de Springfield and sat down, and right when I sat down, my fake smile fell off.
"Is something wrong, hon?" Springfield asked me. "You look sad." The cat was out of the bag… Just tell Springfield in private. 'She won't judge you.' I didn't want to unload my emotional sewage with everyone within earshot.
"Springfield, is it ok if we talk in private?" I whispered.
"Sure…" Springfield answered nervously. She reached underneath the counter and grabbed a sign that said 'be back soon,' then she and I went outside to the front patio. I took a deep breath.
"Is everything ok? Did I do something wrong?" Springfield asked.
"You didn't do anything wrong…" Tears started welling up in my eyes. "...I did …a long time ago." Springfield immediately embraced me. That alone started making me feel better. I knew talking to Springfield was the right choice. She walked me over to a bench and sat me down.
"What happened?" Springfield asked. "You can tell me."
"Can we keep this between us?" I asked.
"Of course. I won't tell a soul." Springfield said in a soft voice.
"I ran from my parents when I was young." I admitted. I didn't just run away from home, I ran away from my dimension."
"What do you mean by that?" Springfield asked.
"Well…" I started. I then told her my entire story about how I was destined to be a dream traveler later in life, but I started dream traveling early because of a shouting match between me and my parents. After I told her, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt like I could keep pressing on without coming emotionally undone.
"Thank you for coming to me and telling me this." Springfield said. "I know it probably wasn't easy."
"Honestly, I didn't want to tell anyone." I admitted. "I'm glad I told you, though. I feel a lot better now." I wiped a tear from my eye.
"If I may say…" Springfield started. "I think most kids would have done what you did if they had the chance. Kids can make pretty rash decisions, the only problem with your case was you actually had a way to leave your world."
"I just wish I had calmed down and really thought about what I was doing." I said. "I'm not even sure if my parents want me to come back someday, if I'm ever able to."
"Of course they want you back." Springfield said. "I'm sure they are waiting for the day you come back. They miss you, I know it."
"I'm completely ready to patch things up with them if I'm ever able to see them again." I said. "I know I was wrong."
"What was the argument with your parents about, if I may ask?" Springfield asked.
"Honestly, I don't remember." I said sadly. "That's how insignificant it was." After I said that, we both sat in silence for a little bit. "I think…I'm ok now. Thank you so much for keeping this between us."
"You're welcome, Hon. Like I said; I won't tell a soul." Springfield stood up and we made our way back into the estate. "Want me to make you a mocha or something? I'll make it extra good just for you."
"Sure. I've never had a mocha before. It's not super bitter, right?" I asked.
"It's a tiny bit bitter, but it's also really sweet. I think you'll like it." Springfield said. "I'll make it decaf, though. It's pretty late and I don't want you to stay up all night."
"Wow, you really do deserve the name 'Mom-field.'" I joked.
"Ok young man, that's it." Springfield said in an obviously non-serious tone. "You are grounded grounded grounded grounded."
"You can't ground me!" I joked. "I will just sneak out my window."
"Oh no you won't." Springfield joked back. Right when she said that, we walked back into the estate. "You'll be in even more trouble when your father comes home!"
"Oh yeah, who's my father?" I asked while laughing.
"Umm… your father is…" Springfield said as she looked around the room. "UMP-9! UMP-9 is your father!" 9 then walked up to us while flexing.
"Ha haa! I'm the dad! Do your homework, son!" 9 played along. The rest of the evening went just like that, us joking around. That combined with the AMAZING mocha Springfield made for me brought my spirits back up all the way.
—-—-—-
After conversing for a while, I happened to glance over at the clock and it was super late at night. I said goodnight to everyone and headed to the bedroom. As I was walking, I passed G11 in the hallway.
"Hi, Shikikan!" G11 exclaimed happily.
"Hi G11, you seem chipper." I pointed out. G11 stifled a little bit of laughter.
"Can I tell you something?" G11 asked. I nodded my head 'yes.' She exhaled through her nose and smiled at me. "Ever since I became a T-doll, I've always felt out of place. It didn't really affect me emotionally, or so I thought. Looking back, I felt so in over my head and useless, I didn't have the confidence to stand up straight. I wanted to be a good T-doll, but I had absolutely no drive. Even after everyone gave up on me after I caused 45's death, you gave me a chance to prove myself. But… I think the reason why I want to fight now… is because I want to keep you safe. So… I guess what I want to say is… thank you. Thank you, Shikikan." She then bowed to me. I then walked up to her and took her hat off then patted her head. She looked at me with giant happy eyes.
"You saved my life, G11. Not to mention you saved Soppo and Nanako as well." I said graciously. "I did have a chip on my shoulder after I found out about your negligence at the outpost, but you've learned and improved because of your mistake… and I'm proud of you for that."
"I will always feel terrible about what happened, but that's why I want to live the most productive life I can." G11 said confidently.
"Well… the way I see it, you've already made it there." I said. "You've awoken an undying determination in yourself, I can see it." G11 stared at me with appreciation in her eyes.
"It feels so good to hear my Shikikan say that…" Her eyes were filled with happy tears. "Thank you so much, Shikikan… for everything." She then stretched out her arms and did a long yawn. "Well, I should go to sleep now, I'm pretty tired."
"Old habits die hard, huh?" I joked. G11 laughed a bit.
"You're not going to let me live that down, are you?" G11 asked jokingly.
"Give it a few more months." I said. "Anyway, good night G11."
"Good night, Shikikan." G11 said, accompanied by a bow. We walked past each other as we both headed to our respective bedrooms. "Oh, Shikikan?" G11 called to me. I stopped and turned around. "You can call me 'G' if you want. 'G11' just seems a bit too formal. I mean, if you're comfortable with it." I nodded yes to her and she smiled in return.
"Call me Klonoa." I said. "'Shikikan' sounds too formal as well. Anyway, Good night G."
"Good night, Klonoa." We both parted ways. I went to the bedroom Yu, Suomi and I shared to find Narukami sharpening his knife and Suomi cleaning her gun. Yu turned his head towards me.
"Hey Brother! I haven't seen you all day, how have you been?" Yu spoke happily. Suomi stopped reassembling her gun so she could look at me and smile.
"I'm doing fine." I answered. "By the way, M1 found us a lead on a resistance group in Neptune's region. You two good to go?"
"I'm always good to go." Yu said as he stylishly brandished his knife. As Yu was doing this, Suomi very quickly put her gun back together, then she stood up proudly and cocked her gun.
"Let's perform our duties… together!" Suomi said with a determined smile.
"That'd better not be loaded, Suomi!" Yu barked.
"I only did that for effect…" Suomi said with a sigh. "Now you kinda ruined it." She puffed one of her cheeks out while scowling at Yu.
"So what's the plan, Brother?" Yu asked, changing the subject.
"M1 came in contact with someone who calls himself 'The King.'" I started. "He isn't a part of any resistance cell, but he does know one that's struggling at the moment. He wants to meet tomorrow night at a place called Osmund's bar."
"Can we trust him?" Yu asked in a concerned tone.
"That doesn't matter." Suomi said as she put her hand lightly on my shoulder. "Even if he tries sticking us up, I'll fight until the end to protect you, Klonoa."
"I'm confident about this, but we should still be careful." I said. "For now, this is all we have to go on. But I know we will all be fine. We've made it through much worse than this because we stuck together."
"Try and keep me from running into a gunfight alongside you, I dare you." Yu said in a determined tone as he walked over to me. "So where exactly is this place we're going to?"
"According to a map M1 drew for me, it's on the Southeast outskirts of Neptune's region." I informed them.
"We'd better get some shut-eye then." Yu said. "It'll be a bit of an early morning tomorrow. Let's must make sure we don't keep this 'King' waiting."
"He may want our heads if we keep him waiting for too long." I said only somewhat jokingly. I didn't know anything about this 'King,' I wasn't even sure whether or not he was a spy for Neptune. I didn't want to think about it too much or else I'd drive myself crazy and hardly get any sleep.
"I won't let him take my Shikikan's head." Suomi said lovingly. As we all settled in to sleep, something hit me; I shouldn't have felt as empty as I did before. I felt so alone in this world at that moment, but that feeling couldn't be further from the truth. I have two of the most amazing friends I could ever ask for… no, they're even better than that. Knowing they would both lay down their lives for me… and I would do the same for them… it makes me feel like those two are truly my second family. We aren't related by blood or anything, but that emotional bond is one that will never be replaced. My only regret is that I have only one life to lay down for Yu and Suomi. Here I am again, staring down another ravenous challenge, but I'm not scared. Not when I have my family with me.