Chapter 3: The Mad Queen

This big question would be answered but a day later.

It all started the night after Snoggletog when Hiccup was on his way home from another afternoon working at the forge. His flight path home always coincidentally took him clear over Astrid's house, but as he passed the structure that particular time, he noticed that Stormfly was mysteriously absent from the girl's backyard, the place the Nadder had been tied down for the better part of a week now.

Well that's strange. Hiccup thought. He'd seen his friends not too long earlier and the verdict was still that none of them had heard from the Hofferson. It was typical for the girl to keep her whereabouts to herself, but that was when she was running around with Arkyn. Now that the grief had set in, her disappearance became far more unsettling, and Hiccup worried that Astrid possibly could've gone somewhere to hurt herself. With panic quickly rising, he immediately abandoned his route home and set out to grab the rest of his friends. If an aerial search was to be conducted, more pairs of eyes was always better.

—

"I'll go get my coat!" Fishlegs exclaimed, hurriedly darting back inside his home to snag the garment. It had gotten dark several hours ago and snow still remained on the ground in the cold weather.

"You know there's literally a million places she could be, right Hiccup?" Snotlout asked the obvious, to which Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"I'm well aware, but we can be smart about this." He tried to explain. "Think of places that Arkyn would be connected to. If we split up, we can cover them in relatively little time. We just need to make sure she's ok."

"And what places would those be?" Tuff asked.

Hiccup thought for a moment. "The shore where he first landed, the cliffs he disappeared to when he made us all go look for him, the arena, the dome, the Great Hall where his party was held, his house, the seasta-"

"Nomanisan Island?" Ruffnut interjected, quickly slapping a hand over her mouth once she realized what she'd let slip out.

Fishlegs appeared in the doorway once again, and all of the other riders paused for a moment and stared at her, wondering if she was serious or only making a joke in poor taste.

"Not funny, Ruffnut." Fishlegs said quietly, breaking the silence. "I don't think Astrid would be somewhere that doesn't exist anymore."

"No, you don't understand." The Thorsten had no choice but to defend herself now. "When Arkyn and Astrid went on their vacation the night before the Screaming Death showed up, Stinger got all fucked up and accidentally led them back to where Nomanisan used to be. It's nothing but a rock now, obviously, but they did sort of go there. Apparently things got pretty heavy…that's why she didn't want any of you to know." Ruff finished, embarrassed that she'd failed to keep her promise to Astrid not to say anything. "She might've gone back…that's all I was suggesting…"

"Holy shit…" Tuff breathed. "Well that explains why he was acting so out of it when he showed up to the arena. Poor guy…"

"He probably had a relapse or something…" Snotlout added.

Hiccup frowned. Astrid had spoken to him at the arena after this event had supposedly happened but hadn't mentioned it to him, despite how hard he'd tried to make amends to their friendship. "Even if that were true, it would take almost a full day of flying to get there, and Stormfly was still at Astrid's house when I got to the forge. She couldn't have gone that far."

"Well the longer we stand here, the further she'll get." Ruffnut pointed out, and soon after everyone was scrambling onto their dragons in preparation to take off.

They leaped into the air, and Hiccup addressed them one last time as they hovered in place. "I'm going to start at the shore. The rest of you can divide the other locations amongst yourselves. If someone finds Astrid, try and get her back to the arena. We'll all meet up there."

"Uhm, Hiccup? No need…" Snotlout raised his hand halfway, getting his cousin's attention before they went their separate ways.

Hiccup tilted his head, confused. "And why's that?"

"Because Astrid is at the Great Hall. I can see Stormfly outside from up here."

They all turned their heads towards the massive structure, and sure enough, the moonlight was gently reflected across the scales of a cobalt dragon resting in the nearby grass.

"Well that was easy." Tuff blurted, and before the group even knew it, they were all heading in that same direction to get a hold of their friend.

They were not even close to prepared for what waited inside.

After dismounting, everybody crowded behind Hiccup as he cracked one of the large doors open and stepped inside. Dim firelight from the many torches greeted their eyes, illuminating the many tables that had been shifted around during last night's festivities. There was not a single Viking in sight at any one of them. Everybody had apparently gotten what they wanted the day before and hadn't bothered venturing to the Great Hall for any additional provisions. An eerie silence filled the space, and the teens footsteps could be heard echoing throughout the building as they made their way from one end to the other.

Just when they were starting to worry that they'd gotten it wrong, the riders spotted just 1 person sitting alone at the bar, and lo and behold: it was Astrid.

They knew things weren't ok as soon as they slowly sidled up next to her.

Astrid sat on a stool clutching an empty glass in her right hand, her arms shaking and her foot twitching as she quietly languished. There wasn't a bartender present, but she'd obviously been drinking, evidently reaching over the counter to fill her own glass from the barrel just on the other side. From the look in her eyes and the way each breath reeked of mead, it was easy to conclude that Astrid was absolutely plastered. She turned her head to face them, barely acknowledging their presence as her eyelids drooped and her vision started to blur.

Ruffnut spoke to her first, not exactly sure what to say as many of her friends stood frozen in silence. "Astrid?" She began.

"W- what…" the other girl replied in a deadpan tone as if the word was a struggle to produce.

"How many of those glasses have you had tonight?"

"It- it doesn't fucking matter, does it?" This time Astrid's words were heavily slurred. "Not enough…not yet."

"Look, Astrid, if you need to talk about something, we're all here for you. We want to help. We want to see you again."

"Just leave me alone…" The Hofferson choked. "I don't want your help- don't need it. This is working just fine…" She reached across the counter to fill her glass once more, but Ruffnut was faster, grabbing her wrist before she could acquire another dose of liquid encouragement.

Astrid grunted with rage when she realized her supply was being threatened and roughly jerked her arm out of Ruff's grasp, losing her grip on the glass in the process. It fell to the floor and shattered, leaving shards of sticky, broken glass lying beneath Astrid's stool.

"Gods damn it, Ruff!" She yelled, but hopelessness overtook her, and her anger turned to sadness as she began to sob weakly, no longer able to block out her troubles. "Gods damn it…" the girl exclaimed again, this time with a much different connotation.

Ruffnut utilized the pause that followed to hold one of her best friend's hands in her own, squeezing it gently when there were no immediate objections. The others watched intently, still unsure of how they themselves should handle the volatile blue-eyed girl.

"I wanted him to be with me on Snoggletog so bad…" Astrid spoke again with a volume barely loud enough to hear, but Ruff understood. "I just wanted that one day with him. To dance, to make sure he felt safe, to let him know he was loved…"

"Astrid, he knew that you loved each other." The Thorsten replied. "I saw it in the way he used to look at you."

"Used to…" Astrid repeated. "Not anymore. Now all I have is his saddle on my wall because his damn body disappeared to Thor knows where. It hangs there the same way we used to hang dragon heads in the Great Hall- a trophy from something that died."

"Surely it means more to you than that?"

"It meant the most when he was sitting in it, flying next to me." Astrid sighed.

It appeared Ruff wasn't getting very far with her reassurances, so she gently let go of her friend's hand and turned to huddle with her group, eventually landing on Hiccup. "You were the one who was so worried about making things right between you and Astrid." She whispered harshly. "Now's your chance to lift her spirits- just like you asked for. I don't think they can get much lower."

Hiccup nodded knowingly, but Ruffnut would turn out to be wrong. He pushed forward slightly, getting closer to Astrid so they could talk. She shot him a side glance when he came into view but said nothing at first.

"Hey there, Astrid…" he approached her timidly, as he always had, not feeling like he was worthy enough to converse with someone he admired so much.

"Why did you come?" The girl asked coldly, tilting her head up as she inspected him.

Hiccup blinked. "For the same reason as everyone else. I've been really worried about you…"

"Oh spare me, Hiccup. I'll save you the trouble: you can stop worrying about me. I'll even return the favor by not worrying about you."

Her drunken words stung, and he wondered if she'd still be speaking to him like that if she were sober. "I just wanted to tell you that all is not lost. You still have us, and we want you to be ok."

"Did you run that little cost benefit analysis on me before you stopped me from saving him?"

Hiccup opened his mouth to form a reply, but nothing came out for an awkwardly long time. "All I knew in that moment was that I needed to keep you safe. That's it. Arkyn had made up his mind already, and there was no sense in having you both killed-"

"Don't you fucking dare say his goddamn name!" Astrid screamed, standing up to grab him by the collar in a flash. She held Hiccup against the edge of the counter so that it dug into his lower back, and he could smell the alcohol on her breath as the hate in her eyes bore through his soul.

She soon released him, sitting back down as the exhaustion from her binge hit her hard, but she wasn't done with him yet- not by a long shot. "You were always so jealous…" she trailed off.

"W- what are you talking about?" The Haddock pleaded, fearing this encounter was about to take a turn for the worse. This is not what he had signed up for.

"Don't deflect." Astrid snapped. "Everybody here knows it's true. We used to talk about it before you killed the Red Death…how obvious it was that you wished I were yours. Even after Arkyn showed up you never stopped." She threw an arm up in exasperation, gesturing to her other friends who stood fiddling about, their faces now wearing guilty expressions.

Hiccup glanced back to look at them, frustrated to remember how much of an outsider he was just barely less than a year ago.

The girl continued, a mixture of both sadness and disappointment in her voice as she exposed Hiccup further, not a care in the world holding her back any longer. "I knew you saw how close Arkyn and I were getting. I remember the very day you started treating him differently because you saw him as a threat. It was that 'accident' at the first dragon races; the one that nearly put him in the healer's hut. You were trying to impress me again, and you couldn't stand to see him win…"

"That's not true!" Hiccup tried again, but that ship had sailed. If he was being honest, it was more true than he'd ever admit to anyone else. He just had to try something, anything to save the friendship that was crumbling before his eyes.

"Just shut up, Hiccup!" Astrid cut him off with a harsh whisper. "You can stop lying to me now. I'm sick of it…"

"Astrid, I- I haven't been lying to you!"

"That's such yakshit and you know it…" the girl insisted. "You were lying to me right up to the very moment Arkyn died and I just let it go because part of me still wanted to believe you could get over it and we could just be friends. That morning in the arena I gave you a chance to come clean about why you really left early when Arkyn and I announced our betrothal but you stuck to your idiotic story about the bad fish. A goddamn fish, Hiccup? Everybody knows food poisoning doesn't set in that quickly…"

Hiccup wondered if his friends would bail him out of Astrid's great tangent, but as it seemed they were all hiding behind him, hanging on her words and crossing their fingers that the girl's sights wouldn't land on one of them next.

"You couldn't even extend me the courtesy of your support. Some friend you were…leaving Arkyn and I when we were meant to be celebrating, not even resurfacing to see us off on our vacation the next day. It ate you up inside, didn't it? That I betrothed him instead of you? But you couldn't just be happy for me…you couldn't just move on…you couldn't just take the hint and finally accept that I liked you more as a friend. So you left- green with envy like a gods…damned…coward." She glared as she drug out each word, letting them all sink in.

"Astrid, that's enough." Fishlegs finally spoke up, but the Hofferson steamrolled him and pushed on, any semblance of mercy disappearing from her as Hiccup's stupid face filled her blurry vision. The alcohol was doing the talking for her now.

"I never should've fucking kissed you…" Astrid said this as if to chastise herself, speaking in a regretful tone as she shakily wiped the tears from her eyes. "Maybe there was a time when I wanted to see what a life with you would look like, but gods damn it…that was such a mistake. It gave you too much hope- hope that you're probably still holding onto right now. Hope that one day I'd come around. Hope that you could still win me over. It was the same hope that sent Arkyn to the grave, because it was the same hope that drove you to 'save' me instead of letting me save him. Well let me ask you something now, Hiccup. Look at me."

Hiccup had been staring at the ground for quite some time trying to tune out this nightmare and didn't immediately react when Astrid prompted him to, angering her even more.

"I said LOOK AT ME!" The girl slurred loudly, startling Hiccup so much that he locked eyes with her out of pure fear. "Do I look 'saved' to you? Is this what you wanted for me when you so desperately fought to keep me out of harm's way? Because right now, because of you, I'm stuck living half a life with no way to ever make it whole again, and I'd rather be dead in the belly of that beast than carry on like this for one more day…" she finished coldly, almost sneering at him as she waited for an answer.

Hiccup could do nothing but stammer dumbly, completely lost for words in the face of such a question. He'd never seen Astrid or anyone else act in such a way, and the more she drilled into him, the more he felt responsible for her uncontrollable hysteria. "Astrid, I- I didn't want any of this for you, of course not…but what was I supposed to do?! You were going to get yourself killed, maybe even Stormfly! Would you want your parents to watch their only daughter die? What would we have done if the Screaming Death didn't die?"

"So because Arkyn's parents weren't around to watch him die, it was ok to write him off? And don't pin this on my parents…you were only thinking about yourself. You're the one who couldn't handle losing me. Well guess what? You did anyway." Astrid said flatly, her eyelids beginning to close as the mead finally caught up with her.

Hiccup's face fell even more than he thought was possible. "Look, what happened to Arkyn's parents was awful, ok? Never in a million years would I wish that on my worst enemy, and I'm so sorry the two of you had to go back to where it happened, but-"

"Wait, stop." Astrid put a hand up to silence him, her gaze snapping to Ruffnut in an instant as the other girl tried to shuffle to the back of the group. She narrowed her eyes in a look of skepticism and betrayal. "You told them? About Nomanisan Island?"

Poor Ruff stood absolutely petrified. "Astrid I- I didn't mean to. We were looking for you, and it just-"

"You asshole. I trusted you! That experience wasn't meant for anyone else…" Astrid was nearly boiling, and the wetness surrounding her bloodshot eyes made her appear more broken than any of the other teens had ever seen her. "Get the hell out of my sight…" she finally whispered. It wasn't a request.

Hiccup jumped to the twin's defense. "Oh come on, Astrid! Please! It wasn't her fault."

"Gods dammit, just stop talking!" The Hofferson exploded. "Haven't you done enough already, Hiccup?! What do you even want from me anyway? Forgiveness? Fine! Here it is: I forgive you for keeping me alive long enough to turn myself into this absolute fucking mess!" She slid off the bar stool and landed on her feet, swaying slightly to keep balance as she violently gestured to herself. "You screwed up! Again! I guess it's true what they say…some things never change." Astrid leaned in close to his face, whispering her final insult. "Because you're nothing more than a screwup- just like you always have been and always will be." And with that, she stepped towards the doors to mount Stormfly for the short flight home before anybody else could even process what had just come out of her mouth.

The rest of the riders watched her slink slowly away, eternally surprised that she didn't completely pass out at any point during her exit. The sound of the heavy doors closing echoed loudly through the hall, definitively marking the end of the night as it fell over their stunned silence like a blanket. Nobody dared follow her, however, for now they had a bigger problem on their hands: and that was Hiccup.

He stood perfectly still, motionless with a face of white like a statue, looking like he was using every ounce of strength and composure left in his little body to keep himself from having a full catastrophic meltdown. The future Chief had just taken the worst beating anyone had ever given him, but instead of receiving kicks and punches, he'd been totally and utterly destroyed by Astrid's words. It was humiliating beyond belief.

"Holy. Thor." Snotlout invaded the silence first, almost not believing what he'd just heard. "Are you ok, cuz?"

Hiccup turned around slowly only to find 4 other pairs of eyes staring at him intently. "I guess…now I know what she really thinks of me…" he said slowly, his expression still not showing any true emotion.

Ruffnut continued to shake slightly from her own interaction with Astrid, but her loyalty to the girl kicked in anyway. "Sh- she didn't mean it, Hiccup. She couldn't have…"

"Of course she did! And what the hell difference does it make whether or not it was the mead that influenced her anyway? It only gave her the confidence to finally be truthful…" he trailed off, glaring at his feet as he tried to make sense of his feelings. "I was so naive to think someone like her would ever want to be friends- or maybe more- with someone like me." His voice was uncharacteristically low and gravelly.

"But she was friends with you, Hiccup! And she was happy about it! Surely you have to see that some part of her still wants to go back to that. Astrid just had to blow off some steam, that's all…she's still grieving." The other girl tried to reason.

"But we can never go back to that! Because the person she's grieving over is the same one that came between our friendship in the first place, and the memory of his loss will always be negatively tied to me!" Hiccup seethed, looking at his friends as quiet once again fell among them.

Fishlegs spoke up next rather cautiously. It was rare for him to ever call anyone out, let alone one of his friends, but he tried anyway. "Hiccup, nobody here sees you saving Astrid as a bad thing, and sure she just majorly overreacted, but…you need to at least take some responsibility for the way she's feeling. What she said about you being jealous…there was some truth to it, and you may not like to admit it, but Arkyn only came between your friendship because you let him. Even though he entered the picture, what you and Astrid had didn't have to change."

Hiccup glared at the large boy, angry that he wasn't his normal supportive self, and was about to open his mouth in defense when Tuffnut interjected first. "Yeah dude, what he said. I don't think you need to be reminded that you and Arkyn were friends once, too. All seven of us were. But when Arkyn and Astrid made their choice to be with each other, neither of them asked for the added tension of your disapproval. You're like a brother to me, Haddock, but they had enough on their plate already." Tuff realized that piling on in that moment may not have been the best idea, so he quickly tried to correct things. "I've never seen Astrid be so mean though…w- we'll make sure she apologizes…"

"Gods damn it, whose side are you two on?!" Hiccup jabbed, his eyes flashing with rage from one Viking to the next. "If I'd known how this would turn out, I never would have invited that Nomanisan prick to stay with me…" He whispered under his breath.

"Choosing sides is how we got into this mess in the first place." Ruffnut pointed out, trying to shut him down quickly. The encouragement of more division was the last thing their group needed that night. "And have some respect. You've owed your life to 'that Nomanisan prick' more than once. He's gone now, and it sucks to say, but he's not coming back. Astrid's understandably sad about it, I'm sad about it, and I'm pretty sure everybody here is sad about it except for you, Hiccup, which is your business, but that opinion doesn't need to become any other rider's problem from now on." Ruffnut said this in a stern tone, realizing that the longer they all stood there, the worse things were getting for everyone. She made an effort to end the whole ordeal as quickly as possible, and to her relief, it worked.

"Whatever…" Hiccup spat, having no time to spare for Ruff's pathetic attempt to check his behavior. He was still the group's leader, or so he thought, and he could do and say as he pleased. They would just have to deal with it until things got better- if they got better- and Hiccup was starting to believe they never would. "I don't need this. I don't need any of this. I'm going home…" he finally sighed, and with that, he stormed towards the doors in the same fashion Astrid had and left his friends behind.

Perhaps one day Hiccup would have a greater appreciation for Arkyn's impact on his life, but as far as he was concerned on that particular evening, the strange outsider who wore a black suit and came from nowhere had absolutely ruined him. It was with this attitude that he met Toothless outside and mounted up for the short flight home, seething with anger that the girl who had become one of his best friends might never speak to him again.