The tips of the moorland grass were slowly beginning to freeze, and the chills of leaf-bare were fully on their way as the damp wind made Scorchpaw shudder. He tried to push the changing weather to the back of his mind and continued to trail his father, who was walking further and further into the moorland. Scorchpaw quickened his pace, wanting to stay by his side. Swiftstar's paws moved quickly, and they made massive dents in the grass. Scorchpaw couldn't help but place his own paws in one of Swiftstar's pawprints, and his heart sunk as he realized just how big of a pawprint he had to fill if he wanted to be as great as his father.
"Scorchpaw!" Swiftstar looked over his shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing!" Scorchpaw replied, hurrying over to his father and making sure to keep up the pace. Swiftstar settled for nothing but the less.
Swiftstar's nostrils flared, but then he took a deep breath and sighed. "How is your training with Berrysplash going?" he asked, his amber gaze flittering around the clearing.
"Good!" Scorchpaw replied, waving his tail happily as he remembered the pride that glowed in Berrysplash's eyes whenever he completed a task successfully. "She's teaching me about hunting. I'll outhunt Gorsepaw at this rate!"
"Good," Swiftstar meowed, sniffing the air to catch more of the scent. "Scorchpaw, as my son, you need to have a good foundation of how the Clan runs. One day, and I need my sons to continue on in my stead. I've spoken to Adderpaw about this, and now I need to talk to you."
How the Clan runs? Scorchpaw gazed at his father questioningly. Didn't he have Berrysplash to help him run the Clan? He wouldn't object to learning more about the Clan, and it gave him a sense of pride that rushed through his body as he realized his father trusted him with the duty of running the Clan. He studied his father's shoulders, broad and tense, knowing that his father carried a great burden on them.
"What your Clanmates need to understand the most is that, as Clan leader, I hold the power," Swiftstar began, the wind streaming through his long whiskers. "Thus, my decisions are final."
What if your decisions are wrong? Scorchpaw wanted to ask, but he knew that if he did, he wasn't quite sure he'd make it back to camp in one piece. Maybe Swiftstar would address the unspoken question, though. Surely every Clan leader couldn't be right.
"I am guided by StarClan," Swiftstar said, "and the gods. They give me the advice I seek when I'm unsure of something. I have to make decisions with full confidence. If I doubt myself, the Clan begins to doubt me. I can't show any weaknesses, even though I have them."
"You have weaknesses?" Scorchpaw asked, lifting his head to gaze at his father. His father never admitted to any shortcomings. He had always seemed powerful, unbeatable, victorious. He never imagined his father struggling with doubt.
"Every cat does," Swiftstar replied. "I do. You do."
Scorchpaw nodded slowly. Swiftstar cleared his throat and continued to talk. "Then, to consolidate power in the Clan, you'll need a mate, and kits. I've already lined up a future mate for you, my son."
What? Scorchpaw skidded to a halt, feeling the tip of his tail beginning to lash back and forth. "What…? What do you mean, Father? A mate?" But I'm just an apprentice! I'm training to be a warrior! I don't want to think about all that stuff yet!
Swiftstar stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Your future mate is Hollyfrost," he growled, his piercing amber gaze sharp.
"Hollyfrost?" Scorchpaw gasped, his whole word turning upside down with that simple name. "But… I… I'm just an apprentice! I don't love any cat! How can I be Hollyfrost's mate if I don't love her? I'm not even a warrior, but she is!"
"Enough, Scorchpaw." Swiftstar flattened his ears. "Arranged mates have been part of the royal family in WindClan since the age of Onestar. It doesn't matter who you love. What matters is the strength of the she-cat at your side, and the strength of your offspring."
"Offspring…" Scorchpaw nearly choked on the words. "What if I don't want Hollyfrost to be my mate? What if I fall in love with someone else?" The ginger-and-white tom wanted to wail to the sky. This isn't fair! I'm just an apprentice! How do I have a mate lined up for me already?
"Then you can take her as a mistress," Swiftstar growled. "I don't care. But in the eyes of your Clanmates, Hollyfrost will be your future mate. I've spoken to Hollyfrost's father before he was killed, and he agreed. Hollyfrost is a gentle young she-cat who won't argue with you, and she'll produce fine kits with you."
"But—"
"Enough." This time, Swiftstar's voice was so cold that it sent a blade inside Scorchpaw, making him clench his jaw and his blood freeze around him. The ice in Swiftstar's eyes was shattering as it burnt into Scorchpaw's skin.
Scorchpaw lowered his head. "Yes, Father." He'd talk to Sunleaf about this. Surely his mother could talk some sense into Swiftstar? She'd know what to say. Or is Sunleaf an arranged mate? No, that couldn't be true. After all, Petalspring was Swiftstar's first mate. The knowledge of what Swiftstar had told him whirled like a sandstorm inside of Scorchpaw's mind, and he wasn't sure what to do with it. Did Swiftstar love any of his mates? Why did he want an arranged mate for Scorchpaw?
It was true that Hollyfrost was a gentle, soft-spoken cat, who had recently become a warrior. She walked with her head down and spoke respectfully to other cats, but Scorchpaw barely knew her, never mind loved her. He had maybe exchanged words with her once or twice. No, when he thought of love… another face flashed into his mind. Narrow but beautiful, with ginger-and-black splotches and sharp yellow eyes. Scorchpaw shook away the face and unsheathed his claws. All he wanted to do was be a good warrior. He didn't want to worry about mates. He decided to let it go – perhaps Swiftstar would forget as time went on. And, if he fell in love with another cat, maybe he could prove to Swiftstar that she was worthy of being his mate, instead of Hollyfrost.
"You might as well get along with Hollyfrost now," Swiftstar growled. "I'm not changing my mind." Scorchpaw forced his fur not to fluff up at the thorns in Swiftstar's voice, but he said nothing. He'd talk to Sunleaf later. Irritation at his father started to prick at Scorchpaw's belly and made his shoulders tense.
But his father didn't seem to notice – or, if he did, he didn't show any signs of caring – as he went on. "Life will throw you many things your way, and you can't avoid them. You need to deal with what you get, and you need to make advantage of the situation you find yourselves in. It's vital. And leaders… we are the ones who suffer the most. We have all killed parts of ourselves to survive. We have all got blood on our paws. Something somewhere had to die so we could stay alive."
Scorchpaw swallowed the lump in his throat, not liking the ominous tone Swiftstar's voice took on, tinged with pain and the slightest hint of regret. Regardless of what he may had felt in those moments, Swiftstar still walked with his head high, his posture true and his eyes facing forward. No matter what Swiftstar said, it was clear that he was still heading towards the future, and that he would continue what he was doing if it was his way to pave a new age for WindClan.
"I think I understand," Scorchpaw said to his father, unable to rid his mind of the pain in Swiftstar's words. Was his father suffering? Could this strong persona all be a façade? Was his father not the invincible cat Scorchpaw had already seen him? The anger about Hollyfrost had melted away, although it would always still be something he would think of – and something he would stop.
"Good." Swiftstar nodded. He opened his jaw to speak, but a foreign scent – something Scorchpaw had never smelled before – began to waft around the two cats. Swiftstar stopped immediately, his sharp amber eyes narrowed into slits. Scorchpaw tasted the air, trying to figure out what this scent was. It was musky and disgusting, making Scorchpaw wrinkle his nose. He swiveled his head, wondering where it was coming from.
The scent had drifted from the north, and just as Scorchpaw craned his neck, he could spot a large dark ginger pelt, similar to the fur of his sister, Russetpaw. But this definitely wasn't Russetpaw. The animal supported a long, elongated snout, and its straight, pointed ears were flattened. Behind its body was a bushy tail, and when it curled its lips, it revealed a row of yellowed, perfectly sharp teeth. It stepped forward, a dangerous, feral look in its golden eyes.
"Fox!" Swiftstar hissed. "Scorchpaw, run away. It's focusing right on you!"
Me? Scorchpaw stared at the fox, frozen in terror. He couldn't force his paws to move, no matter how many times his father snapped at him to do so. In seconds, the fox was on its feet, rushing towards the two cats and snapping its slathering jaws. Scorchpaw yelped in fear. He had never taken on a fox before! What should he do? Scorchpaw looked around, panic making his heart race. Maybe he could outrun the fox!
Just as Scorchpaw started to turn on his heel to run away, he could feel the fox's hot breath on his tail, and a bolt of pain jolted through his body as the fox's teeth clamped onto his back leg, stopping him from moving. Scorchpaw thrashed in its grip, but the force was suddenly released in a heartbeat, and he could hear the fox howl in pain. The throbbing pain made Scorchpaw's head whirl as he forced himself to look at where the fox had gone.
Swiftstar had launched himself at the fox, sending it flying. The WindClan leader's gold eyes burned with fire as he lashed his paws out at the fox, jabbing its chest and ears skillfully. But the fox proved to be a dangerous predator, and every time Swiftstar attacked it, the fox went on an offense of its own. Scorchpaw willed himself to move. He couldn't sit behind and watch his father get torn to shreds! The fox's teeth split open Swiftstar's ears, sending the WindClan leader staggering back. No!
"Father!" Scorchpaw yowled out, racing over to the fox, outstretching his claws and getting ready to slash it across the fox's throat.
"Scorchpaw, no!" Swiftstar exclaimed. Just as Scorchpaw began to lunge for the fox, who turned and snapped its jaws, aiming for Scorchpaw's throat, Swiftstar pushed himself in front of Scorchpaw, blocking him from the fox. Scorchpaw's amber eyes widened in horror as the fox clamped its jaws onto Swiftstar's throat, a blow that had been meant for him. The fox bit down tightly, and Swiftstar struggled in its grip. The WindClan leader lashed out a paw, slashing his claws across the fox's eyes, and the fox let out a yelp before dropping the bleeding WindClan leader to the ground and fleeing into the moorland.
As the fox retreated, Scorchpaw whirled on his father, who was limp on the ground, coughing up blood. Scorchpaw pressed his paws on the wound on his throat, trying to stop the blood, but it was no use. He dragged his crimson-soaked paws away from the wound and watched as his father's head fell back, and he no longer rose. No… No!
Panic started to race in Scorchpaw's chest, and he could hear his heart beat twice its usual rate. The life had left his father's yellow eyes, leaving them blank and lifeless, and the blood refused to stop streaming from the deep wound. Scorchpaw paced around his father's body before curling up and pressing his pelt against Swiftstar's. His father's lifeless pelt was cold against his own, and Scorchpaw blinked back the tears welling in his eyes.
It's my fault, Scorchpaw thought, feeling as if the breath was taken away from him, and he couldn't speak. He couldn't swallow the lump in his throat. Just seconds ago he had been furious with his father, and now… now, his father laid at his side, dead, and was not rising. Is he on his last life? It's my fault! I got him killed! Swiftstar had taken the blow that the fox had meant for Scorchpaw. I was so stupid! I jumped in without thinking! The fox tried to kill me, but it ended up killing my father instead!
Scorchpaw rested his nose on his father's blood-stained shoulder. "Father," he gasped the word out. "If you can hear me… I'm…" He choked back the tears that threatened to spill down his face. "I'm… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to… I just wanted to…" The rest of the words wouldn't come out. It was Scorchpaw's fault that Swiftstar was dead. Was he going to wake up? Please! Scorchpaw shoved his father's side with his paws. Wake up!
It was either moons or heartbeats when Swiftstar's eyes began to blink open. Scorchpaw scrambled back, a shocked gasp escaping his mouth as the life began to slowly trickle back into his father's amber gaze. Swiftstar coughed up scarlet blood that fell onto the puddle that was surrounding him, and he dragged himself up, taking several deep breaths to study the shaking of his body.
"Father…" Scorchpaw whispered, having no idea what to say.
"I heard you," Swiftstar croaked out. His words were barely audible and there was a crack to his voice. It was clearly hard for him to speak, and Scorchpaw willed him to be silent, to save his strength, but his father went on anyway. "Every word… I heard it."
"It's my fault," Scorchpaw whimpered, digging his head into his father's blood-stained chest. "If I hadn't jumped on that fox… if I had just stayed put…"
"I don't regret it," Swiftstar rasped, reaching his head out weakly to touch his nose to Scorchpaw's head. "You are my son. You are my life. I will always put my life on the line to save yours."
A tremor raked Scorchpaw's body, and he refused to take his head out of his father's pelt. He was too fearful to move, too scared to take his head away, because if he did, would he see his father's limp body lying on the grass again? Would his father flailing in the jaws of a fox? And it would all be his fault! Scorchpaw found a sob escaping his throat. I don't want to lose you, Father. Not ever.
But… what life was his father on now? His father was an important cat, one whose life was on the line daily. It was because Scorchpaw was too scared to move – and not ready to fight a fox – that his father had died today. His father had taken him out on a walk to discuss the foundations of running a Clan, and one of those foundations included being a good warrior to protect your family. This will never happen again, he vowed to himself. I will never put my father's life on the line like this again.
Swiftstar leaned on Scorchpaw's shoulder as the ginger-and-white apprentice assisted his father back to camp. A trail of blood was left in their wake, and Scorchpaw found himself constantly looking over his shoulder to study it. The crimson line made Scorchpaw swallow the lump in his throat, and he knew that, no matter what, he'd never be able to rid himself of this guilt. Swiftstar pulled away from Scorchpaw, his movements still swaying as he slid down the hollow that made the WindClan camp. Scorchpaw followed him, not sure if it was the cool leaf-fall air that made his fur prick or if it was the fear of how the cats would react.
"Swiftstar?" Scorchpaw recognized the voice – he looked up to see his mother, Sunleaf, bounding over to the two toms. Her dazzling green eyes widened in shock as Swiftstar collapsed in front of her. "Swiftstar, no!"
"What's happened?" The other voice came from Petalspring as the gray-and-white warrior bounded over to her former mate. She stopped in her tracks, her blue eyes wide as she studied Swiftstar's ragged body. She made no move to walk towards him, although Scorchpaw could tell it was taking every muscle in her body to prevent her from doing so.
"What's wrong with him?" Adderpaw padded over from the apprentices' den, his amber eyes focused sharply on his father. His gaze widened for a moment, and then he swung his head to stare at Scorchpaw. "You were out with him, weren't you? What happened?"
Scorchpaw's throat went dry, and he couldn't find the words to speak in front of the hard glare his half-brother was focusing him with.
"Talk!" Adderpaw snapped.
Where's Russetpaw? Scorchpaw scanned the camp, searching for his dark ginger sister, who had no problem standing up to Adderpaw. Finally, Scorchpaw turned to stare at his brother. "W-we were attacked by a fox," he explained. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Violetheart racing over to the middle of the camp where the injured Swiftstar laid, a bundle of herbs in her jaws. Swiftstar's eyes closed, and for a moment, Scorchpaw's heart dropped in his chest. Is he dead again? But, even as Swiftstar's eyes stayed shut, his chest rose steadily.
"A fox?" Adderpaw scowled. "And my brave, heroic father couldn't fight it off without dying?"
I never mentioned that he lost a life, Scorchpaw thought, but Adderpaw's gaze was focused on the wound on Swiftstar's throat, and he must have made the correct assumption. Sunleaf swung on Adderpaw, her green eyes blazing with fury. Scorchpaw gasped. He had never seen his mother this furious. She had always been the epitome of calm, of grace, and seeing her swing on a Clanmate was something he never expected.
"How dare you speak of your father in that tone?" Sunleaf snarled.
"Leave him alone," Petalspring snapped at Sunleaf, her tail lashing back and forth. "He's grieving. So are you."
"He can grieve without mocking him," Sunleaf hissed at Petalspring through clenched teeth. "Grant your father the respect he deserves!"
Adderpaw clicked his tongue, glaring venom at Sunleaf. "You're not my mother," he growled. "I don't need to take orders from you."
"Thank the gods I'm not," Sunleaf growled. Her tail still lashed back and forth as she padded over to Violetheart, who hauled the ginger-and-white tabby leader on her back and trekked back to the medicine den. Scorchpaw watched the exchange in shock. How could Adderpaw speak so flippantly of his injured father? And how could Sunleaf, so composed and graceful, snap at an apprentice – Swiftstar's other son?
Scorchpaw had no idea what to do. He hung his head and dragged his tail, heading towards the area where the apprentices slept. He skidded to a halt when he saw Wildpaw, Gorsepaw, and Blackpaw sitting right there, shooting him sympathetic glances.
"Where's my sister?" Scorchpaw asked.
"With Rabbitfur," Blackpaw replied. "I'll tell her when she gets back. You should lie down, Scorchpaw."
"Lie down…" Scorchpaw echoed. "I can't do that!" His voice turned high pitched, and once he realized he was attracting the stares of some nosy Clanmates, he lowered his voice with a sigh. "I sat there and watched as my own father got killed by a fox!"
"There was nothing you could do," Gorsepaw meowed, his amber eyes swimming with concern.
"Yeah, there was." Scorchpaw's ears flattened. "He told me to run away, and I didn't. He had to fight the fox to save me. If it hadn't been for me, he wouldn't have died!"
"He's not dead, Scorchpaw," Wildpaw meowed softly, getting to her paws and nuzzling the ginger-and-white tabby. Her voice was like honey to his ears, and the softness of her fur against his began to ease the fire that was kindling inside of him. "He's safe now, isn't he? You brought him home, he's with Violetheart now."
Scorchpaw nodded weakly.
"You tried your best," Gorsepaw meowed. "That's all you could do."
"Don't blame yourself," Blackpaw agreed. "Gorsepaw is right."
Scorchpaw lifted his head. "One day, I'm going to be at his side and defend him," he declared. "I won't be responsible for him getting hurt any longer. I'm going to stop him from getting hurt! I'll be his most loyal warrior, just you wait and see!"
"I'm sure you will," Gorsepaw agreed. "Why don't you get some rest, Scorchpaw?"
Scorchpaw nodded. He didn't want to argue with his friend – plus, he was right. Exhaustion tugged at Scorchpaw's feet, and the guilt that gnawed away at his heart threatened to swamp him. He turned away from the three cats to head to his den when a gray-and-white she-cat stopped him. He shifted his paws when he recognized Hollyfrost.
"I'm sorry to hear about Swiftstar," Hollyfrost meowed to him. Her voice was soft, and there was sorrow that shadowed her brilliant blue eyes.
"Thanks." Although it wasn't Hollyfrost's fault, Scorchpaw didn't want to speak to her. The fight had been because of her. Scorchpaw didn't blame her – she wasn't the one who had led Swiftstar to the fox – but there were several other cats he would prefer to speak to. However, Hollyfrost was blocking the entrance to the den. A question danced on the tip of Scorchpaw's tongue, and he finally decided to ask. "Do you know you're supposed to be my future mate?"
Hollyfrost nodded. "I do," she replied, a glassy look in her blue eyes.
"How do you feel about it?" Scorchpaw asked. Was Hollyfrost in love with him? Did she agree of this arranged marriage? What were her true feelings?
"Listen, Scorchpaw, I think you're a great cat and all," Hollyfrost meowed. "But… I don't love you. Actually… I love someone else." The gray-and-white she-cat let out a soft sigh. "But I'll never get to be with him. My future has been set in stone for me since the moment I opened my eyes. I'm supposed to be your mate."
"Maybe you don't have to," Scorchpaw meowed. He couldn't deny that he felt sympathy for Hollyfrost – after all, it didn't seem like she wanted this any more than Scorchpaw did. Who do you love, though? Who do you love that gives you the pain in your eyes and the agony in your voice? Something told him it wasn't his business, so he chose not to prod. "Maybe we can convince my father otherwise."
Hollyfrost chuckled. "Yeah, right. And rabbits will fly. There is no cat in the Clan that has stood up to Swiftstar and succeeded. There's no changing his mind." The soft-furred she-cat lowered her head. "It's just how it is. I'm a bird chained to the ground, and there's no way I'll ever be able to fly. You have more freedom than me, but even I can see that your father forces you to do things you don't want to. After all, you'll never love me, and I can't force you to."
"I'm sorry," Scorchpaw confessed. "But you don't want this, either. We're forced into a patronage that neither of us want. I feel just as stuck as you do."
"There is no way out of it," Hollyfrost whispered, her voice shattering. The agony and pain coming off her in waves was so vivid that it made Scorchpaw tremble in his paws. "Maybe we can at least learn to live with each other. But we're stuck with this. It's just how it is." Giving Scorchpaw a small nod, the she-cat trekked away from him and towards the center of camp. Scorchpaw watched her go, deep in thought.
I don't want to be her mate, Scorchpaw thought. But arguing with my father about her is what got him killed in the first place. What do I do? I'm stuck. I love my father and I want to obey him, but I don't love Hollyfrost. I want to live my own life. I don't want to be told what to do.
But what if he did something foolish that would cause the death of his father once more? Fear flooded Scorchpaw and made him stagger to his paws, and for the first time in his life he realized that he was unsure about his future as a warrior. He didn't want to sacrifice his father's life once more, but he also didn't want to give up his own freedom.
What do I do?