chapter one
"Rise and shine, kiddo!" Rosie heard Dean's loud voice echo throughout the tiny motel room that we were staying in. The bright light of the sun showing through the windows was blinding and she pulled the covers up over her face.
"Deeeeean," Rosie complained and peaked her head over to see the time, "It's only 6:45, please stop."
"Sorry kid, but no chance," She felt something heavy land on top of her back as the air was knocked out of her lungs, and she let out an oof, "Today is just too important."
Though Rosie could not breathe underneath the blankets, she couldn't help but smile. It's true, today was a special day - graduation. High school graduation to be more specific and of course she was excited but Dean's loud voice and the blaring sun shining in the room was absolutely terrible.
A million thoughts were racing through her head. Rosie's dad and brothers did not know, but she had been drinking regularly now for quite some time. It was a nice relief from constantly being worried and stressed out about my family's safety. Since she was in highschool, they usually left her home alone while they handled the larger hunts so that she didn't miss a ton of school. Little did they know that it was easy enough to get alcohol into any motel. John Winchester usually did not let anything get past him, much less something like this, but lately it was almost too easy. He was gone all of the time and so were her brothers.
Dean cleared his throat, snapping her back into reality and she didn't even notice that he had pulled her covers down past her chin, so that he could see Rosie's face. "You okay?" He asked while moving next to her on the bed, with his feet hanging over the sides. "You look sick."
Rosie's face was flushed a little bit as she had a little bit too much to drink last night in pre-celebration for graduation and ended up being hungover. Worst timing ever. She thought to herself, while trying to make something up. "Yeah! Just didn't sleep very much. Nervous, I guess." She shrugged her shoulders, hoping he'd believe her lie.
Dean titled his head slightly to the side and raised his eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Nervous? You're never nervous, about anything."
"Well not anymore! I slept it all off" She sat up next to him on the bed. Rosie hated lying to Dean, but honestly she couldn't help it. "Is he sure he can't make it, Dean?" Rosie looked up at him and his eyes softened as his face grew sympathetic.
"Sorry Rosie. He's still stuck in PA." As much as she tried to hide the hurt of her dad missing my graduation, she couldn't succeed this morning. Maybe it was the hangover or maybe it was just because her dad was missing yet another important event in her life. "He does wish that he could be here, but you know that people's lives are at stake. He doesn't really have much of a choice."
Rosie wasn't sure how it happened, but at that moment something in her mind just snapped. Looking down, she laughed a little. "I know, Dean. It's not anything new. I'm used to it — hell we all are."
"I know kiddo, I do," He reached over and wrapped her into a giant brother bear hug. "But Sammy and I are here, and we wouldn't miss it for the world." Rosie could tell he was trying to avoid a chick flick moment, but was failing miserably.
"Thanks Dean." She whispered into his shoulder. After a moment or two they sat up and she kissed his arm on top of his jacket. "Love you, ass. Now let me get ready!"
"Yeah, yeah, love you too," he got up from the bed and walked over to the door, "Don't take a million years! We leave in 1 hour!"
After Graduation
The door opened to the crappy motel as Rosie plopped down onto the couch. "Home sweet, crappy home." She said, and Sammy smiled at her pulling a blanket on top over her body.
"Why don't you get a little bit of rest, kiddo" Sam leaned down to kiss her forehead and took her graduation cap off of her head, "You've looked exhausted all morning." Rosie's face couldn't help but grow a little red at the thought of her brothers finding out about her drinking.
Sam's eyebrows moved close together as he put his hand on her forehead. "You're feeling a little warm, are you sure you're felling okay, kiddo?"
Her hand moved Sam's intrusive hand away from her face, "Yes Sammy, I'm fine, please stooop." Rosie rolled her eyes and leaned back down onto the couch. "Just let me get some rest, and I'll be a-okay for the party tonight." She winked at her brother and shot him a smirk.
Just then Dean overheard from the kitchen what they were talking about, "What party, Rosie?" Rosie and Sam looked at each other and laughed for a second before Sammy got up to go and speak to his older brother.
"Dean, relax." Sam said quietly to him, "She's talking about 'partying' with us. It's not like she has any other friends man."
"Hey! I heard that ass!" Rosie yelled over to Sam.
"Alright, alright. Any news from dad?" Dean asked. "I hope he's okay, it's been two days and usually he checks in a little sooner."
"I'm sure he's fine Dean, he's a grown man and can take care of himself," There was a bitterness to Sam's voice. He looked down and mumbled something inaudible to his feet.
"What was that Sammy?" Dean asked, looking down trying to find his brother's eyes.
"I said that, 'it's almost like he doesnt have three other kids to take care of,' Dean. He missed his own daughter's graduation, not to mention all of the other big events that he's missed in her life — hell, all three of our lives, man! I don't understand how you can still be on his side, Dean." Sam was now shaking his head towards his somewhat angry brother.
"He's our dad Sam, sometimes we just need to trust him to handle the shit that you know other people can't. Why can you never understand that?"
The silence between the two brothers seemed to last a lifetime until Sam's eyes made their way over to look at his baby sister asleep on the couch. "At least she's better than you were in high school." he smiled to himself, "Remember that time that you came back to the motel so drunk, that you didn't even know that dad had come home from his hunt." Sam now laughed out loud a little at the pain on Dean's face.
"Yeah, I remember dad beating my skin off my ass with his belt when I finally sobered up the next day." Sam started to laugh a little harder and Dean punched his shoulder, "Shut up, Sammy, you're gonna wake up the graduate."
Dean opened the fridge and pulled out two beers as the brothers sat at the table and enjoyed the peace and quiet.
—
When Rosie woke up, she noticed two almost empty beer bottles on the table and two missing brothers. "Dean? Sammy?" She called out while venturing towards the table. "Hellloooo?" Without her brothers in sight, she picked up the beer bottle almost absent mindedly and finished it off.
"Rosie!" Dean's voice echoed out throughout the kitchen. She froze and turned to meet her brother's gaze. "That's. My. Beer." He made his way over to her in a couple steps and in the same movement grabbed the beer and swatted her butt as she exclaimed. "Don't touch my beer." he growled in her ear.
"Ouch, Dean." She stopped complaining when she met his serious eyes, "Okay, I'm sorry, but it was only one sip."
"Don't pretend you are clueless as to what dad would do if he saw you drinking while he was here. Your ass would be grass, kid."
Rosie's face flushed and found her shoes. The awkward silence between the two was interrupted by the sound of the Impala's horn. "Who's ready for dinner!" Sam's voice rang into the motel room from the parking lot.
"I'm sorry Dean, please don't tell Sammy or dad." Her lip came out into a pout and she gave him the same puppy dog eyes that Sam always had. "Please Deano."
"Alright, but no more drinking." Dean warned and pushed her out the door then grabbed his leather jacket.
—
"Thanks for dinner, guys. It was really nice." She wrapped her arms around both of her brothers.
"No problem, kiddo." Dean answered.
"Of course," Sam said at the same time with a smile. Rosie's eyes started to brim with tears as she looked up at the two huge giants standing in front of her, looking at her with concerned eyes. "What's wrong, kiddo?" Sam's hand brushed the falling tear off of her cheek. "Huh?"
"Thank you." She responded quietly, "I don't know what I would do without you guys. I mean I know we have our dad, but you guys," Rosie paused and breathed and focused, "You both raised me, and today was just more proof." She sent her brothers a sad smile. "I'm still not feeling too good, so I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight losers." She winked and made her way to the bathroom.
As soon as Rosie closed the door, she opened the locked med kit with the key taped to the back and found the prescription pain killer pills. She let out a loud sigh and slid down against the cold tile walls. Rosie never usually cried but today was almost too emotional for one person to handle. Thoughts started to swarm her head. You're not good enough. You'll never be good enough. Your own father doesn't even think you're good enough — that's why he's never here. He didn't miss your brother's graduation. You'll never be as good as them. Worthless. Useless. Never enough. Silent tears fell from her cheeks as she popped four pain killer pills — two more than the serving size for her age and weight. Rosie only usually would take two pills, but tonight, she thought - fuck it.
A false sense of peace found her almost immediately. The placidity was too dangerous for Rosie. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the knife given to her by her father for her 13th birthday. "Figures." She scoffed to herself, "He'll always be the one to hurt me." She shook her head and pulled up her sweatshirt. Then, with one long, deep slice under her collar bone blood began to spill out. This was a new spot on her body that she had decided to cut tonight, as usually it was under her bra on her side, so that her family could never see them. But once again tonight she thought once more - fuck it. She made two more cuts underneath the first, and then sat there on the floor with the knife in her hand breathing heavily.
Sam's voice broke through the door and the wall of her thoughts, "You okay in there Rosie?"
"Yeahhh," she answered relaxed, "I'm fine." Rosie stood up and started to messily patch up the cuts with some of the first aid supplies. The pain killers were already starting to kick in now and her vision was less than perfect as all of the materials were put away sloppily. Nonetheless, she locked the med kit and put it back on the bathroom counter. Rosie also closed her knife and stuck it back in her pocket, forgetting to wipe the blood from the blade.
Rosie opened the door to find two brothers staring at her. "You sure that you're okay Rosie, you look even worse than before," Dean said while seeing her eyes somewhat dilated.
"Yes, Dean it's just, umm, lady things?" She shrugged her shoulders and sent them an awkward glance.
"Oh," Dean found him extremely uncomfortable as Sam just looked concerned, unbothered by the personal information.
Rosie made her way into her room and found the stolen bottle of Jack she'd hidden underneath her bed. A couple of hours and half a bottle of whiskey later, Rosie had it set in her mind that she was gonna make her dad listen to her, consequences be damned. The first thing she needed to do though was find out where he was.
As quietly as a drunk teenager could, she slipped into the living room to find two sleeping brothers. She looked for Dean's keys, but couldnt find them anywhere. Fuck. She thought. They are in his pocket. Thankfully Dean's jacket was lying on the table. Instead of taking the keys out, she slipped the jacket on, broke the salt line, and went outside to find the Impala. "Hi, B-baby," She hiccupped and as her butt found the driver's side seat, Rosie started up the engine.
Unfortunately for Rosie, the sound of the car engine awoke the owner — one Dean Winchester. "Sam. Sam!" He spoke a little louder. Upon seeing his brother asleep on the couch, he ran outside with his pistol in hand, just in time to see his very drunk, and very high sister sitting behind the wheel. "Rosie Mary Winchester!" He shouted in a deep and scary voice. "Get your ass out of my car!" Dean's yelling startled the youngest Winchester a little bit and she pressed the gas pedal down, even though she was still in park.
"No! I'm gon-na find that dic-k" she hiccuped again, "of a dad, and tell h-him what a, well what a dick he is!" She shouted towards her very angry brother and floored the gas pedal again, "Why won't you fucking drive baby!" She yelled.
Angrily Dean put his head into his hand and ran over to the driver side door. When he found the door locked, he leaned down to the slightly open window and growled at her, "Unlock the fucking door right now, Rosie, or I swear I'm gonna beat your ass out here in the parking lot." Rosie's eyes slowly turned to see the beyond pissed look that Dean had in his eyes, and swallowed - hard. "Now, unlock the door."
With shaking hands she undid the latch. In a matter of milliseconds she was pulled out of the car and onto the gravel. Dean reached into his car, pulled out the keys and uncharacteristically slammed his Baby shut.
Rosie stood staring at him with wide eyes for several moments, before Dean finally spoke up. "Get your ass inside," his voice was quiet and dangerous, "Now."
Rosie gulped and responded with a respectful, "Yes sir." Even drunk, she knew not to mess with a pissed off Winchester.
Rosie entered the room and planted herself at one of the kitchen chairs waiting for Hurricane Dean to come and destroy her life. Her brother entered with a loud slam as the door closed behind him. "Sammy! Wake up!" Dean's voice echoed throughout the small motel. His eyes now trained themselves on the drunken figure of his sister.
"Huh? What?" Sam's confused voice came from the couch.
"So, this afternoon when I tell you to not drink, You decide hours later to directly disobey me?" Rosie's eyes could not work up enough courage to meet his eyes so she maintained her focus onto the table. When he didn't get a direct answer, Dean slammed his hands down onto the table and repeated his question louder, "Answer the question, Rosie?!"
"Yes," she answered quietly.
"What was that?" his interrogation voice sounded just like their father's
Fuck it. She thought. I don't care anymore. "Fuck off Dean, you're not my dad." Rosie stated with unwarranted confidence as Rosie's eyes met her very angry brother. Uh-oh. Maybe this was a bad idea.
"Woah, woah," a still sleepy Sam interrupted the fight, "What happened?" No one answered him. Rosie and Dean's eyes interlocked and Sam could feel the anger radiating off of both of them.
"Get up." Dean ordered when he felt her gaze starting to break. When Rosie didn't obey right away Dean walked over to her, lifted her onto the table and landed a couple very hard swats on her butt.
"Dean, Dean!" Sam tried to snap him out of it, "She's drunk man, stop!" His hand halted for a second before lifting his sister up to sit on the table. He grabbed her chin and saw the tears forming in her eyes.
"Sam's right, you need to sober up." He smirked at her, ready to dump her into a cold shower.
"No, Dean. Don't even think about it, just let her sleep it off." Sam began. "Come on Rosie, let's get you to bed."
Rosie quickly followed Sam into her room, looking back at Dean, only to find his expression looked even angrier. Sam found the bottle of Whiskey laying on her bed and let out an exasperated sigh moving it aside so he could tuck her into bed. "Sleep tight." He said, not unlovingly. Before he was out of the door with the bottle, Rosie was asleep.