Family Matters Oneshots

Respect

A/N: Set during the season 3episode "The Love God".

"Eddo, Eddo, Eddo, what's going in?" Steve Urkel asked as Eddie Winslow strong armed him into the kitchen of Rachel's Place.

Eddie finally let go of Steve with a less than subtle shove towards the wall.

"Steve, what did you do?" Eddie demanded to know.

"Now Eddo, just calm down!" Steve said as he leaned against the wall to put a little more space between them.

"Calm down? Steve, you ruined my life!"

"Beg pardon?" Steve asked.

Eddie grunted in frustration. "The only reason I asked you to tutor Vonda was so that she'd go out with me."

"What? You what!" Steve stood a little straighter now as he did a full body double take. "You used me to use Vonda?"

"Steve, Vonda's reputation at school is legendary, if I could've gotten with her, it would boost my rep with all the guys and the babes."

"What? You what?" Steve repeated as he frantically clawed at one ear with his index finger, "I can't believe I'm hearing this."

"How could you do this to me, man?" Eddie asked. "I give you one simple job, help Vonda pass her midterm."

Steve thought for a second, and said in a voice void of all intimidation and hesitance, "Yeah? Well it just might interest you to know, Eddo, that when Vonda passed she was so thankful for my help, she offered to do the same thing for me that you were hoping she'd do for you."

Eddie looked at Steve blankly for a few seconds before it finally kicked in. "Vonda, and you? ...Ewwwwwww!"

"Now, Eddie, I love you like a brother," Steve said, "but what in the Sam Hill is the matter with you, man?"

Eddie looked at the nerd with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?"

"Well I know darn well your parents did not raise you to be like this. I see how loving your mother and father are with each other and I know they would never take one another for granted, and that they have nothing but the utmost respect for one another, and that you grew up in full view of all of this, Eddo, so it should've rubbed off on you how a man is supposed to treat a woman!"

"Man," Eddie waved him off dismissively, "that's different, they're old and married. I'm just doing what guys do these days, Steve."

"Well here's another bit of information you might be interested in, Mr. Casanova," Steve fired back. "Vonda confided in me that because of her reputation for being easy, as a direct result of her wanting to be popular and for people to like her, that she no longer liked herself. Does it really make you feel like a big man to try and take advantage of a girl like that?"

Eddie didn't answer, and the look on his face indicated he was trying to process it, but Steve decided another approach would be necessary.

"Okay, let's try this one. Suppose Laura wanted to be more popular with the guys at school, and decided to do what Vonda has done to gain that popularity. Would you be okay with every guy on the basketball team calling your sister 'easy'?"

That shifted the gears in Eddie's head and his eyes were filled with fire, "Man, if someone ever did anything with Laura, I'd kill them."

"You see, Eddie?" Steve pointed out. "If you wouldn't be okay with your own sister being like that, how can you feel good about Vonda being in the exact same position?"

Eddie huffed and whined in disgruntlement. "Man...why do you have to make things so complicated, Steve?"

"Because what you have in mind is just wrong, Eddie. Now let's turn the question around, do you want Vonda to like you?"

"Well yeah."

"Okay," Steve rocked on his feet in a knowing stance, "why do you want her to like you?"

Eddie paused a few seconds before answering, "Because she could've made me a legend at school."

"What else?" Steve asked. "Come on, man! Surely there has to be something less superficial there!"

"W-well," Eddie stalled as he tried to think, "Vonda's a very pretty girl."

"So you want her to be nice to you," Steve said.

Eddie shrugged and nodded, "Well yeah."

"She will, Eddie, if you respect her," the younger teenager explained.

Eddie looked at Steve skeptically, "How do you know all this? The only girl you're interested in is Laura, and she won't give you the time of day."

"Ah, see, not yet," Steve answered pointedly, "but our relationship has reached the point where she will tolerate me. Laura's starting to find out that we actually have a lot in common, we went through similar trials and tribulations when I tried out for basketball and she tried out for cheerleading. Being a freshman, she got to find out what it was like to be treated like me."

"Oof," Eddie made a face, "ouch."

"Exactly. We may not hang out in the exact same social circles, but I'm frequently becoming a lifeline Laura turns to when she's in trouble or she needs someone to talk to, and you know something?" Steve beamed proudly as he said, "I'll take it. As a friend, I feel it's my moral and sacred duty to protect her and her reputation from being besmirched by low IQ neanderthals who try to take advantage of her beauty and innocence. I know it's just a matter of time before I wear Laura down and she confesses her love for me, but until that day comes, I'm happy just being her friend. And if you want Vonda to like you at all, you will too. A real man isn't intimidated by a girl having a healthy respect for herself."

Eddie thought for a minute and said in a defeated tone, "I guess you got a point..." he glared at Steve and added, "but I still hate you for it."

"Well think about this one, Eddie," Steve replied, "Vonda's not singling you out, this new approach she's taking will apply to every guy she dates from here on out. You'd be the trendsetter."

"Hm," Eddie thought, "I never thought about it like that."

"Well here's another one to try on for size, while you're in here getting mad at me, your date is out front wondering where the heck you are. So why don't you quit wasting time Urkel bashing and go see what entails with your lovely lady?" Steve asked.

Eddie huffed. "Yeah...yeah...I guess it won't kill me to go slow with Vonda."

"Now you're getting it," Steve clapped a hand on his shoulder, "good luck, Eddo."

They walked back out to the main dining area and Vonda was standing by a table with her arms folded against her chest.

"What's going on, Eddie?" she asked.

"Oh...nothing...I guess we'll get the food for here after all," Eddie said.

They sat down and Steve came up with a couple menus.

"Menu, menu," he said as he handed them out, "let me know when you're ready to order."

"Bring a couple cheeseburgers, two fries and two sodas," Eddie said.

"Eddie, I want a chocolate shake," Vonda said.

"Oh I'm not ordering for both of us," Eddie replied, "this is for me, after all, what's the rush?"

"I'll have a burger, fries and chocolate shake," Vonda told Steve.

"Coming right up," Steve said as he collected the menus and headed back to the kitchen.

"So...Vonda..." Eddie tried to think of something to talk about but was coming up empty.

"Yes?" she put her elbows on the table to lean closer towards him.

Eddie thought, and thought, and thought, and all he could come up with was, "So...Vonda..."

"So, Eddie?" she asked in response.

"Uh..." he thought, "do...you like the Bulls?"

Vonda shook her head, "I'm not into basketball."

"Oh...uh well uh...do you like Rambo?" he tried again.

"Not really," Vonda answered.

Eddie turned his head to the side in a look of frustration. This was going nowhere fast. Suddenly, an idea came to him.

"Do you like Batman?" he asked.

Vonda's eyes lit up. "I love that movie."

"Oh me too!" Eddie said. "I saw it 14 times in the theater."

"Are you going to see the new one coming out next year?" she asked.

"Oh, you know it!" Eddie answered. Then he thought of something, "Hey, after we eat, let's rent the first one and watch it at your place."

"Okay," Vonda nodded, "I'd like that."

"You know something? I would too," Eddie was grinning from ear to ear.

Vonda looked at him coyly and said, "You know, Eddie, Steve said that you would be the second person to congratulate me on my new life."

Eddie looked at her, dumbstruck, for a few seconds, before it suddenly clicked.

"Oh, oh! Oh!"

"You know something, Eddie?" Vonda asked. "This is the first time in a long time that I've actually felt good about myself, and really felt good about who I'm with."

Eddie smiled genuinely. "I'm happy to hear it...congratulations, Vonda."

It was going on 11 when Eddie walked through the front door of his home. Not to his surprise, the lights were still on in the living room, to his surprise, Steve Urkel was sitting on the couch.

"Oh, hi, Eddo," Steve waved.

"Steve, what're you doing here?" Eddie asked.

"Oh well I hope you don't mind, but I'm not allowed home for another hour, so I thought I'd wait here," Steve answered.

"Why?" Eddie asked.

"It's my curfew, my parents are very insistent about it," Steve explained. "So, did you and Vonda have a good time?"

"Actually..." Eddie bobbed his head slightly in consideration, "yeah, we did. So I guess I owe you an apology. You were right, Steve...Vonda is a lot more than just a hot babe...she's smart and funny, she's a lot of fun to be with, and we're going out again on Saturday."

"Well I hate to say I told you so but, I told you so!" Steve was beaming from ear to ear.

"Yeah," Eddie nodded reluctantly, "you know, you might be annoying and disgusting...but you're pretty smart."

"It's a gift," Steve said.