.:Chapter 16 - Declaration:.
The island of green hills and bright treats was a sharp contrast to Sanji's turmoil as he shot himself high into the clear sky, the wind warm on his face. It was a perfect day when it shouldn't be. He air-walked higher and higher until he was a distant dot in Luffy's sight, barely feeling the breeze against his skin by the time he found a spot to hover. Everything felt numb.
"Please, Sanji, you don't have to go through with this!" Nami cried desperately from her perch, tears cascading down her terrified face. "We'll go, okay? Just don't hurt Luffy!"
Sanji locked onto his target and began to descend. Whatever the lovely navigator was saying was out of reach now.
Nami pressed her face into her knees. She wouldn't watch this – not again.
Using his air-walk technique Sanji pushed himself downward faster, flames trailing him like a meteor about to strike the earth.
Luffy growled, staring down the attack head on. "I'm not leaving."
"Tell me you're gonna use haki at least," Usopp squeaked.
Sanji gritted his teeth, tucking himself into his body to spin forward, somersaulting rapidly.
A past Luffy's voice was suddenly in his ear: Hey, Mr. Cook, care to join us? You'll be the chef on our pirate ship!
Faster and faster he spun, until he was nothing but a wheel of fire.
You're a good cook, and I need one. Obviously we should be pirates together!
The disparity between that round-faced Luffy of over two years ago and the beaten, hard-shipped one staring back at Sanji now was overwhelming. And Sanji knew, in that moment, that he had to go through with it.
He also knew that Luffy would let him.
Zoro grunted a frustrated sigh.
Something sharp pierced through Sanji's lungs as his heel came smashing down on Luffy's skull. Sparks flew. Nami screamed. And as silence fell through the clearing, so – finally – did Luffy. Face-first, the Straw Hat captain lost consciousness and laid before his chosen cook's lethal feet.
"Luffy..." Chopper's squiggly eyes flooded.
"Why..." Usopp swallowed. "I know he's Sanji, but, why didn't you fight back?"
"I already said it. He's my friend."
"Yeah, but..."
"He's my friend, and he forgot." Luffy leaned back, eyes moving to the source of the memories, strapped down and shaking. "It wasn't me he was hurting."
There was a moment of contemplation before Franky sighed.
"All the more reason to knock some sense into him, if y'ask me," he muttered. But he trusted Luffy. And, obviously, the guy had brought Sanji back.
By the carriage, Germa soldiers looked on in awe.
"What amazing strength," one of them said.
"I'd expect nothing less of a Vinsmoke," another muttered.
Sanji walked away from his ex-captain and his ex-crewmate. Nami stumbled hurriedly off the tree, yelling for Luffy as she ran over to his still form. Sanji didn't dare look back, face masked in a rage he couldn't describe. Feelings he couldn't let himself think about it.
Nami was at Luffy's side as he bled out, staining the grass. She tried to shake him awake as tears dropped helplessly onto his body. He didn't stir. Nami glanced up. Watched the prince's back as he walked away from them. Walked away from his crew. From his nakama.
The Straw Hats watched as, onscreen, something in their navigator snapped.
"Hey, Sanji..." She pushed herself up and after him.
Sanji turned just in time to see the palm of Nami's hand before it made contact with his cheek. A slap heard through all of Whole Cake.
"Well, Nami tried to knock some sense into him at least," Franky said.
"I- I shouldn't have..."
"You were upset," Robin assured the navigator. "It's an emotional experience just watching it, let alone living it with no insight into Sanji's reasoning."
"Consumed by heartbreak and betrayal is not easy," Brook added. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Curly wouldn't blame you, either," Zoro muttered, eye closed. "He knows what he did."
All her emotion stung into his skin, burning. The furious, beautiful brown eyes before him continued to collect Nami's angry tears as she scowled at him.
"I'm sorry... Sorry we ever came here!"
Sanji wouldn't look at her again. Couldn't. Knew he would break. Couldn't risk it.
Seeing that Sanji didn't even have the nerve to respond, Nami backed away, returning to her captain and not sparing another look at her ex-cook. This was how she'd remember him, Sanji knew. If she thought about him at all after this. He turned away with a frustrated flourish of his cape.
"Their ties were meaningless," he heard Judge mutter as he returned to the cali-coach, sick to his stomach. "Glad he severed them."
"Man I hate that guy," Franky muttered.
Reiju watched, expressionless.
"Thanks for waiting," Sanji mumbled when he climbed back in and took the empty seat, as far from the clearing he could get. "Let's go."
The carriage rolled off as Sanji sat. His head immediately fell in his hands, blonde hair curtaining his face.
It was over. And if Sanji was suppressing every morsel of feeling he had left, if Sanji could hardly swallow over the lump in his throat, if Sanji's breaths came out labored – well, nobody had to know. Nobody had to see. That was all his problem. The only thing that mattered was that nobody would face his shitty family because of him.
Zoro glared, and Nami sighed, wiping at her eyes.
"If there is a silver lining to any of this," she said. "It's that Sanji relies on us more now."
Robin nodded, many instances presenting themselves during their last adventure in Wano alone. Zoro, however, also thought of what Sanji relied on him to do...if he was ever not his usual self. He supposed, in a way, it did hold some comfort knowing that the cook trusted him with something so personal to his past. He was leaning on Zoro to help him deal with his greatest fear.
Chopper sighed. "At least the fighting's over. I hate to see it left like that, though–"
The reindeer instantly froze as – behind the Vinsmoke carriage onscreen – their captain teetered to his feet, a distressed Nami at his side.
Luffy struggled, clearly, as that signature determination gleamed even from a distance. He caught his breath, gulping lungfuls of air, before his voice blasted across the clearing.
"COME BACK, SANJIIII!"
Sanji's pounding heart missed several beats in that moment. His breath caught painfully. Before he could rationalize that he was simply imagining things, his brothers beside him were chortling in amusement at the pirate behind them.
That stubborn idiot was still calling out for him, even after all he did?!
"Sanji! All your excuses sounded so fake!" Luffy yelled, and Sanji grit his teeth. "I don't know why you said that crap, but do you think that's going to make me leave? Like we aren't friends?! A couple of dumb lies won't make me give up on my crew!"
The Straw Hats nodded in unified agreement.
Sanji choked.
But Luffy was far from finished.
"What do you take me for?! I'm not stupid! I know what's happening! No matter how much you kick me–"
Sanji bit his lip to keep from screaming out.
"– you're the one who's getting hurt! YOU'RE THE ONE FEELING THE PAIN!"
Tears trickled through shaking fingers. It was hopeless, now. Sanji couldn't contain it. A sob stuck in his throat, he choked. His nose ran, and his eyes wept, soaking his crumpled face in a torrent of tears. Nails dug into the sides of his forehead, fingers wrapping through strands of blonde hair, tugging, trying to hide. To hide everything. To disappear. He couldn't do this here!
"No, no, no," Usopp was chanting to himself, trying to contain his own weeping as his hands dragged down his face.
None of the other Straw Hats were having much luck themselves. There was something about watching their cook – their familiar, present-day cook – trembling in sorrow that none of them were prepared to see. Sanji loved Luffy. Lovedthe crew. He was actively fighting against love, and that went against everything Sanji was as a person. There was nothing more devastating than that. And it was in that moment that they all realized exactly why Luffy hadn't fought back.
"Should we stop...?" Reiju's quiet voice asked. "He's still there..."
Sanji knew she was asking him. He didn't move, but managed to get out a rushed "keep going" without his voice cracking.
Silence came from the clearing, and Sanji hoped that meant Luffy was done. He was trying so hard to keep it together, and failing miserably, because...
The memory suddenly jumped back to a little over two years ago. A young Straw Hat pirate watched from a deck above as this curly-browed chef with a crazy kick stuck an enormous plate of food in front of his starving enemy and convinced him with his genuine kindness that living was more important than pride.
Luffy had laughed, an instant sort of fondness engrossing him. "I think I just found my cook."
Scenes of Luffy pestering and pestering the annoyed blonde filtered across the screen.
The Straw Hats chuckled through their tears at that. How very Luffy.
Until...with Zeff batting for Luffy as well, Sanji finally – finally – for one second had stopped worrying about everyone else, and reached out at a chance for himself.
"Oi, I'll join you on this journey of yours to become King of the Pirates..." He said with a sly smile. "By the way, have you ever heard of the All Blue ?"
Two giant grins stretched out, then; side-by-side onscreen. Luffy and Sanji, lit up with childlike wonder. Sharing their dreams with each other.
"Gah, why does he have to remember this right now?!" Franky cried, streams running down his face.
"It's too much. It's too much." Usopp had his face pressed against the cyborg's arm as they cried.
The others weren't in better shape; except Luffy, who was grinning at the memory. He cherished the moments he met his friends with all his heart.
The memory returned to their broken down Sanji, rattling down a path on Whole Cake Island as his beaten captain that he had disbanded from continued to try to get through to him. It was as if Luffy had had the same memory of his happy cook that Sanji had, because the Straw Hat pirate suddenly grew even more adamant.
"We're not done yet!" he yelled. "Our journey isn't over!"
"How do you always know exactly what to say...?" Nami murmured. She was always impressed by that skill of their usually harebrained captain.
Zoro couldn't help sporting a small smirk. Pride for his captain, and contented relief that his partner was also part of Luffy's crew.
And Sanji silently sobbed. He knew Luffy wasn't talking about his own dream. He was talking about Sanji's. About the All Blue. Sanji gripped tighter at his face, hoping his hands would absorb every noise that escaped him, every drop that shed from his remorse and his grief.
"I'm staying right here, and I'm not moving an inch!" Luffy promised.
Sanji didn't understand...
"I'm gonna keep waiting for you to come back!"
No...I can't –
"And if you leave me here...I'LL JUST STARVE TO DEATH!"
Sanji's breath hitched.
Chopper gasped at the declaration. "Wasn't that a bit much?" he wondered, voice muffled in sympathy.
"Not at all," Robin disagreed gently. "Intentional or not, it was the perfect thing to say to get Sanji to realize how serious Luffy was about him. Not only because Sanji had almost starved to death in the past, but also because of the unnaturally excessive way Luffy's body relies on food."
The carriage was filled with the Vinsmoke brothers' laughter, but it was distant to Sanji. Drowned out by the cries – by his own cries, and by Luffy's.
"SANJI, YOU'RE MY CHEF!" Luffy bellowed.
Sanji was making some of that rat food again.
Royalty doesn't serve anybody.
Don't ever cook again.
"To say that in front of his family means more to Sanji than Luffy realized, huh?" Brook said.
"NO ONE ELSE CAN TAKE YOUR PLACE!"
It seems he is simply a waste of life.
He intends to make it as if you were never born.
Franky nodded as he wept. "There it is." That's what he needed to hear. "Irreplaceable, bro, no matter what your old man says."
Voice exuding every ounce of his conviction, Luffy decided loudly, "I'M NOT EATING ANOTHER BITE OF ANYTHING, UNLESS YOU COOK IT!"
Sanji was shaking.
Nami was shaking.
"Even if I go hungry," Luffy continued, fists clenched and face focused. "Even if spears or swords or stones rain down on me - I'LL KEEP WAITING FOR YOUUUU! So, you better come back, you hear me?! No matter what!"
"Luffy..." Chopper whimpered again. Like the others, he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry or cheer or wail in despair or–
"I need you on my crew, Sanji!" Luffy's eyes blazed. "Without you… Without you..."
A montage of memories spun before Sanji's heartache.
Luffy pestering him to join his crew.
Him, Luffy, Zoro, Nami, and Usopp sailing down the Red Line on the Going Merry.
The four seen Straw Hats smiled, bittersweet, at the memory.
Chasing Chopper until he joined them.
Chopper laughed, rubbing the snot from his weeping nose.
The X's on their arms as they bid Vivi farewell.
The array of heart eyes as Robin joined the crew.
Robin chuckled fondly.
Launching into Skypiea.
Complaining about the loud pirates in The Baratie before spotting Nami with them and instantly appearing on his knee at her feet with a rose in hand.
Nami grinned, wiping at her eyes with a laugh. Always was a love-sick idiot, wasn't he?
Marching up to Arlong Park, his first stint as a Straw Hat.
Bidding a heartfelt farewell to Merry.
Usopp's eyes watered more at the proof Merry meant a lot to Sanji, too.
The six Straw Hats at Enies Lobby, standing strong for Robin.
It's amazing, Robin thought. Even being Sanji's memories, her own were so entangled in his.
They had all shared so much together.
Franky debuting the Thousand Sunny.
"Hell yeah," Franky grinned.
The eerie introduction of Brook.
"~Yohoho! I sure know how to make an entrance."
Sanji saving Nami from her forced marriage.
"We'll call it even, Sanji-kun," Nami saluted, as Luffy laughed at the comparison.
Him standing up to Kuma, trying to protect Zoro.
"Wait, what happened there?" Luffy questioned.
Before he could finish, Zoro was already answering, a hint of a secret smile on his face. "Nothing happened."
Him and Zoro teaming up against Foxy.
Zoro did laugh out loud at that, the prince cook suckered into being the ball. He was fond of that time, though, as it was the first time they actively worked together and found they were pretty good at it. When they wanted to be, Zoro thought with a lopsided smirk.
The memories sped, faster and faster: Everyone reuniting at Sabaody Archipelago; every day shenanigans aboard the Sunny; a collection of the endless times the Straw Hat Pirates were all together, drinking, eating, laughing...
And then, suddenly, right back to the beginning of it all, at the edge of The Baratie.
"I promised myself that one of these days, I'd go to the Grand Line."
"Let's go right now!"
Sanji pulled the onslaught of memories from his brain as he tugged harshly at his hair, folding in on himself, silent as he broke. He couldn't bear this anymore. Luffy's declaration that he needed Sanji on his crew nearly broke the prince's heart into two. He was desperate to keep the pieces together, but Luffy...
"Without you, Sanji..."
The cook's fingers dug deeper into his skull.
"Without you...I'LL NEVER BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"
The Straw Hats - as one - smiled, eyes shining behind teary gazes. Genuinely happy their cook got to hear just how much he meant to their captain.
And just like that, Sanji's heart shattered.
Sanjiiiiii
You would think he'd have no more angst after all this... There's always hope.