Chapter Summary: tom is a reluctant, resigned simp.

harry also may die from strangling if he doesn't learn to shut up once in awhile. (tom: joking, haha, unless?)

andromeda is understandably overprotective over those she calls hers. she's also just incredibly helpful. i love her.

Beginning Notes: shows up ten months late, offering this self-indulgent chapter as an apology gift.

Chapter Eight

January 3rd, 1999 — Sunday

It's after two in the morning by the time Tom convinced Harry to go to bed.

"I will, but I'd like to get through this last file." Harry said as he avoided Tom's gaze, but Tom stared him down anyway.

He eyed the dark bags under the man's bloodshot eyes, the hair he'd messed up even further by how many times he ran his hands through his hair and tugged on the ends in frustration, the hunch of his back as he worked over the desk. The man was obviously exhausted, and Tom knew from experience that work completed when sleep-deprived turned out to be inferior quality.

"Harry," Tom stressed, "you'll do no one any favours by running yourself into the ground. The files can wait, your bed cannot."

Harry huffed as he closed the folder he'd been looking at. He glanced up at Tom with a frown, but his face softened as he looked at Tom's determined face.

"Alright, alright," he said with an exasperated sigh. "We'll continue this later, though?"

"Of course, Harry," Tom said. "When you're well rested."

Harry scoffed. "You might be waiting a long time for that. I don't sleep well these days." He looked away from Tom as he tidied his desk and put away the folders in his desk drawer.

Tom watched Harry fidget with a quill. He thought about what he could do or say to help. He wasn't used to wanting to be of help to someone else, at least not in any meaningful way.

"Nightmares, yes?"

Harry nodded tersely, putting the quill in its holder before crossing his arms against his chest.

Tom typically spent the long nights alone practising what magic he could access in this form or snooping around the house. Nothing that couldn't be put off later.

"Would you…" Tom paused uncertainly. It was an odd offer, he felt, but he spoke up anyway. "Do you think you might sleep better if I were to stay with you?"

Harry blinked up at him owlishly as he slowly unfolded his arms. "Uh?"

"I only meant that it's noticeable to me when we're apart at night that…" Tom paused again as he found it difficult to put into words when he still couldn't wrap his mind around the longing. "Well, it's uncomfortable is all."

"The longing, you mean?" Harry asked bluntly as he tilted his head to the side.

Tom nodded with his jaw clenched. As surprisingly easy it was to be around Harry without wanting to mindlessly murder him, it was equally disturbing to Tom that he longed to be around Harry all the damned time.

Harry hummed in consideration, his face turning pensive as he thought it over. It shocked Tom that the man was even thinking about accepting the offer. He didn't understand how Harry could be so content to be around him as much as he already was. Tom knew it must be because of the interactions of their souls, but that reasoning was dissatisfying to him.

"Are you even able to rest in that form?" Harry asked as he dragged his eyes up and down Tom's body.

Tom was sure if he could blush, he would, but he focused on the question instead. "It's possible, yes. It's more of a meditative trance than true sleep, but it's effective at restoring any energy I spend."

Harry nodded then stood from his desk and circled around it to stand next to Tom. "Fine, if I must rest, then so do you. Have you even rested since you've been here?"

Tom was startled by the sudden question. "Er," he said intelligently.

"That's a no, then?" Harry asked with a cheerful, suspiciously sharp, grin. "If you nag me, I'll nag you. Let's go rest, dear."

He moved to the door of the study but stopped to turn towards Tom again. "Well?" Harry asked, his hands on his hips.

Tom couldn't help but stare wide-eyed at the man. How did this get turned around on him and his well-being?

He shook himself and schooled his features as he followed Harry. Either way, he gets the chance to help Harry sleep through the night. Not a total loss, then. And he can admit grudgingly to himself that he's been feeling a bit depleted lately. Likely due to overworking himself while trying to get some semblance of control over what meagre magical abilities he has in this form.

Gods what he wouldn't give to be human again.

The two of them enter Harry's bedroom and Tom stands in the doorway awkwardly. Harry continued moving into the room and began undressing for bed.

Harry raised an eyebrow in challenge as he dropped his sweater on the trunk at the end of his bed. "Well, are you just going to linger there? You can rest on the chair over there," he pointed to the wing-backed chair with green upholstery in the corner of the room next to the curtained off windows. "Or, I suppose, you can have the other side of the bed."

Tom raised his own eyebrow at the offer, but Harry ignored him as he pulled off his t-shirt and put it in his hamper. He eyed the man's lean, strong back before it was covered with what looked to be an old baggy t-shirt.

"I don't mind either way, Tom." Harry said as he unbuttoned his jeans and bent down to pull them off.

Tom couldn't bring his gaze away from Harry's boxer clad arse and his bare, hairy legs. A small part of his mind felt like it was ringing alarm bells and yelling at him to get control of himself.

He made himself look away once Harry slid on a pair of loose pyjama trousers.

"If you're fine with it, then I'll rest on the bed," Tom finally choked out.

He waited until Harry left to go to the bathroom before he sat on the right side of the bed.

Truthfully, Tom doubted he'd be able to rest at all. The growing attraction he felt towards Harry was getting absurdly distracting. He very well may stare at him all night while he slept.

It's not like he needs to rest.

Tom groaned quietly and covered his face with his hands.

Salazar, but he must be mad.

Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.

The Greatest Dark Lord in centuries and he's turned into a soft-bellied niffler after its treasure.

"Alright?" Harry asked, startling Tom into dropping his hands, as he slid onto his side of the bed and pulled the covers over himself.

"Fine," Tom said shortly.

"Are you going to lay down, or, I mean, I'm assuming you can." Harry trailed off as he turned on his side to face Tom.

"I can, yes," Tom resigned himself to the inevitability of wanting to please Harry and adjusted his energy so he could lay down then turned on his side to face the other man.

"Better," Harry whispered. "It's nice to have company, really. You sleep with four or five other people in the same room for six years and it becomes strange to sleep alone."

"I was the opposite," Tom muttered, "I couldn't wait to have my own space after graduation."

Harry looked at Tom thoughtfully. "Yeah, I could see that. There's something about being an orphan and finally having something that's yours."

"Yes, exactly." Tom said quietly.

There was a kinship here between two orphaned boys that overwhelmed him. He tried not to think about how Harry became an orphan. If he lingered on it, the regret may very well eat him alive.

Harry yawned before he twisted his body to the side to put his glasses on the nightstand, then he faced Tom again. "Good night, Tom."

Tom watched as Harry's eyelids fluttered before closing, watched as his breathing deepened, as his face became slack, and cursed himself a thousand times over.

'No,' he told himself sternly. 'Don't you dare.'

But Tom knew deep in his soul that what faced him was inevitable. The man, and the being that lingered in the shadow of the man. Both of them together. They would drag Tom with them he knew. He knew. It was mad, but he knew.

He disregarded Love, as he defied Death, once before and it seemed that neither would let him go unscathed this time.

Tom sighed, baffled but resigned to his fate.

"Good night, Harry."

"Harry?"

Tom's eyes flew open, and he stared, frozen in surprise, at the sight of Andromeda Tonks standing in the doorway of Harry's bedroom with Harry's godson wiggling in her arms. She stared with wide, curious eyes at Tom, who stared back blankly.

'Well, there goes keeping my presence a secret.' Tom thought to himself in exasperation.

Harry groaned as he stretched languidly, and Tom wished he could nudge Harry awake faster.

"Master Harry, time to get up now!" The house-elf said sternly as it ripped the curtains open and blinded them all to the light of day. Harry hissed as he covered his face with his arm. Tom thought he looked like a vampire from the muggle films being exposed to sunlight and he held back a snort at the thought.

"Andy?" Harry groaned, his arm muffling his voice. "What are you doing here?"

"It's past eleven already, Harry. Kreacher let me through with Teddy." Andromeda said as she stared at them amused.

Harry cursed under his breath before lowering his arm and opening one bleary eye to look at her. "M'sorry, Andy."

"Forget about that," she said with a wave of her hand. "Who is this?"

Harry immediately froze. "Uh?"

Tom thought quickly for an excuse. He knew Harry wasn't awake enough to think something up on the spot, shown by Harry staring blankly at the woman.

"I'm an old friend of his who died during the war, ma'am, and I tracked Harry down after I became a ghost." Tom said, silently urging Harry to go along with it. Last thing either of them needed was someone realising that a remnant of the Dark Lord still existed.

"Call me Andromeda. None of that ma'am business, young man," Andromeda said sternly. Then she gazed at the two of them, at how closely they laid next to each other, and the corner of her mouth turned up. "An old friend, huh?"

"It's not like that, Andy!" Harry blushed as he sat up and put a little bit of distance between him and Tom. "Bloody hell."

Tom frowned but said nothing.

Harry was right, of course, there wasn't anything romantic or sexual between them.

'Nothing,' Tom told himself firmly.

"Hm, whatever you say Harry. Does this old friend have a name?" She asked Tom directly.

"Uh, this is Thomas!" Harry exclaimed nervously as he got out of bed. "Thomas, this is Andromeda Tonks and my godson Teddy Lupin."

Tom wanted to scoff. 'Thomas,' he thought derisively. He would never escape his father, it seemed.

"Well, it's nice to meet another friend of Harry's." Andromeda greeted Tom kindly as she handed the little boy over to Harry's waiting arms.

"A pleasure," Tom greeted politely as he followed Harry out of the bed.

"Thomas only tracked me down last night, Andy, and we were up late going over what happened since we'd last seen each other. Sorry!" Harry said as he bounced Teddy on his hip. The baby giggled before turning his hair colour black and his eyes green which earned the boy a delighted grin from Harry.

Tom stared at the two of them together. Teddy could pass for Harry's son when he used his gift. Something in him ached, possessive and heavy.

'Stop that,' he scolded himself.

But Tom couldn't stop himself from hoping for a future where he didn't have to spend his days alone. He knew he could do it; he'd spent over a decade alone in the forests of Albania. However, the days spent isolated as a wraith left its mark on his sanity. That was not a time Tom hoped to return to. He would do anything, say anything, to never be as isolated and helpless as he'd been then.

Unnerving as it was, when he thought about the future, a part of him hoped that Harry would be there beside him. A companion in the truest sense.

Tom knew, however, that Harry and Teddy were a package deal.

He'd never been fond of children. The orphanage killed any part of him that might've one day cared about them. But, for Harry, Tom would learn.

That didn't mean that he was comfortable with the changes made to his soul, to his psyche, to his life. But Tom was nothing if not adaptable.

"It's all right, Harry. Thankfully, today is one of my few free days from the clinic." Andromeda said as she handed Harry her grandson's diaper bag. "I have a few errands to run today but they shouldn't take me long to get through them."

"Take your time!" Harry said as he adjusted Teddy so he could put the bag over his shoulder. "Teddy will keep us company today as we go through the rest of my files from Gringotts, won't you?"

The boy babbled up at Harry in agreement and Harry laughed as he gave the boy a quick hug. Andromeda smiled at the two fondly.

Tom looked away and over to Kreacher who stood to the side quietly. He'd almost forgotten the house-elf was still in the room. It was not staring at the other humans in the room but was instead looking at Tom. It stared at him knowingly. He glared at it before he continued staring at Harry and Teddy.

'Ridiculous,' Tom said to himself. 'You are being ridiculous.'

"Well, I leave him in your capable hands. I'll be back later in the day." Andromeda said as she turned to leave.

"See you then!" Harry said as he followed her out of his room, the house-elf following behind them all.

Tom watched them leave, questioning every choice he made in his life that led him here and now. Questioning the foreign remorse he felt when thinking of his past.

If he'd made different choices, Tom wouldn't be here in this moment.

He and Harry never would've crossed paths.

The remorse faded slightly.

A part of Tom wished they could've met under different circumstances, but he couldn't regret all the decisions he made that brought him here.

Harry belonged to him, and his soul knew it to be true.

His, his, his, and Tom couldn't be sure that would be the case if they'd met under different circumstances.

Content, settled, steady for now, Tom trailed after the group.

Tom knew he'd been staring for longer than necessary when Harry turned his head from his godson and raised an eyebrow at Tom.

He couldn't help it. The sight of Harry and Teddy playing together, their laughs and giggles breaking the silence of the study, warmed Tom down to his soul and he was drawn to them like a moth to a flame.

Oh, how he wanted.

He didn't think he'd ever seriously wanted a family of his own before, at least not after he'd been returned to the orphanage for the third time. Or after his own family— uncle, father, grandparents— all rejected him once he was older and discovered their existence.

Tom thought he'd rid himself of the childish yearning for family, but he wasn't all that surprised that being around Harry seemed to drag those dreams out from the depths of his soul. Continuously baffled, but not surprised.

Tom never seriously considered having children, biological or otherwise. When one was immortal, one had no use for continuing their bloodline. Not to mention that children were a liability and as the Dark Lord he could not afford any weakness.

But seeing the happiness that Teddy brought Harry, Tom found himself contemplating the topic once more.

If he ever regained his body, Tom knew he would be mortal once more. With Horcruxes no longer being a choice for him, Tom had to consider the future and what legacy he would leave. He knew himself well enough to know that he would never give up on immortality, but there were few ideal options, and most were lost to time.

Harry smiled at him before turning back to his godson, igniting the embers in Tom's chest. The man was chronically exhausted, and it showed, but his smile brightened the shadows of his eyes and Tom forced himself to look back to the galleons, sickles, and knuts he was practising his levitation on.

Tom didn't know if they would ever not tiptoe around the unacknowledged feelings brewing, but he contented himself with the near constant presence of the reclusive man. More often than not, he had Harry's full attention, and it was so heady that it left Tom feeling smug.

He wasn't quite sure he'd manage it well when Harry would inevitably need to leave the house for longer than a trip down the street and need to leave Tom behind. Even just the thought of separating for a few hours made something in him twinge with revulsion, reluctance, and anxiety.

If he is to keep Harry's favour, if he is to keep Harry by his side even when they are apart, he must adjust to the situation he found himself in. Tom can already feel the ways his soul forced him to adjust, making him more palatable, but now he knew he must actively change as well.

His eyes darted back up to stare at Harry and his godson, then lingered on the child.

The best way to get and keep Harry's favour is to be kind to the ones he loved.

'Package deal,' Tom reminded himself.

But as he pondered on the issue, he realised he's not entirely sure how to go about ingratiating himself to an infant.

Tom squinted at the little gremlin as he drooled on the ear of his stuffed animal that he had stuck in his mouth. He grimaced and quickly looked away. 'Disgusting.'

Perhaps, instead, he could ingratiate himself with Andromeda Tonks. At least she didn't drool everywhere.

Andromeda showed up after dinner, once again let in by the house-elf, to find Tom staring at Harry who napped on the couch with Teddy asleep on his chest. Tom felt warm as he contemplated his life and the possibilities of his future.

"You care for him, don't you?" She asked as she lingered in the doorway.

He looked away from the sleeping pair towards the woman and raised an eyebrow at her. "You're awfully presumptuous."

"Indeed?" Andromeda asked, her brows raised and a knowing smile on her face.

Tom narrowed his eyes on her. "Indeed."

"Indulge me," she said seriously, a smile dropping from her face. "That young man has become as good as a son to me, and I don't know you."

Ingratiate himself, Tom remembered thinking earlier. He forgot the woman was not merely a muggle lover, but a Scion of House Black.

"We've been through a lot together," Tom eventually said as his eyes darted back to where Harry snored quietly.

"Why has he never mentioned you before?"

'Salazar, she's awfully nosy.'

"I imagine my death was painful for him," Tom said. "We also didn't share any mutual friends and I'd never met his other friends. I doubt he had the opportunity to bring me up."

Her gaze was piercing, and Tom held back a sigh. Couldn't she take her grandson and leave already? He forgot how exhausting it was to be around other people.

"How did the two of you meet?" Andromeda asked eventually.

"Ma'am, if Harry wanted you to know anything about me, he would've told you already." Tom said firmly. Desperately, he found himself hoping that Harry would wake up and send her on her way.

Ingratiate himself to this nosy busybody? No. He refused. How did he ever manage to put up with it in his youth?

"That's true enough," she said as she nodded. "But you are a decade older than Harry, at the very least, so I doubt you were a fellow student. I've never heard you mentioned as one of the professors at Hogwarts. You must not be a muggle he knew, as muggles are unable to come back as ghosts. So, you're a mystery. Indulge me."

"Oh, leave him alone, Andy," Harry groaned from the couch.

'Finally,' Tom thought in relief.

"Harry," Andromeda wheedled as she moved further into the room.

"Andy," Harry said sternly. "I vouch for Thomas. I trust him completely. That should be enough for you."

Tom stared hard at Harry. 'Does he really? Or is he lying to get her off their backs?'

"Forgive me, Harry, but I leave my grandson with you for hours at a time." Andromeda said, and Tom could see in her furrowed brows and her clenched jaw how serious she was. "Ghost or not, I don't know Thomas. I don't know the relationship between the two of you. I don't recall anyone in the Order mentioning him. You've never talked about him before. Do you understand why I might be concerned?"

"I understand perfectly, Andy," he said as he carefully sat up on the couch, holding the sleeping form of Teddy to his chest. The child grumbled as he woke from his nap, opening a bleary eye to see what was going on.

Tom's gaze darted between the two other adults. He hadn't wanted to make up a convoluted story to give her that she might investigate and discover he'd been lying. He did worry, however, that Harry would fall into one of her cleverly laid traps.

"However, Thomas is right. I never mentioned him to you, or my friends, for a reason," Harry started, and Tom at once had a bad feeling when he spotted the glint in his eyes. "I lied this morning. We were lovers."

'Imbecile.'

"Harry." Tom hissed, embarrassed and struggling to remain visible when all he wanted at that moment was to disappear.

Harry ignored him, leaning fully into this ridiculous story. "I'm not proud of it, but I was figuring myself out in my sixth year. I had just realised that I liked boys as well as girls. Ginny was dating Dean at the time, and I was jealous of them both. I decided to sneak out to Hogsmeade to the pub, disguised and appearing older, and I met Thomas. He was beautiful, and I couldn't help myself from indulging."

Tom couldn't help but put his head in his hands. 'Beautiful?'

This man would always be the death of him, wouldn't he? This was a trainwreck waiting to happen, he could tell. 'Blasted man,' he thought as he looked back up.

When Andromeda opened her mouth, Harry held up a hand. "Let me finish, please." She frowned but nodded.

"Eventually, I began feeling guilty for lying and I told him the truth of who I was and how old I was. He immediately ended things, and I couldn't blame him really. We stayed friends, however, and he helped me afterwards a few times when I went on the run. There were two months of silence towards the end, and I didn't know for sure until after the Battle that he'd been captured and killed."

At this point it was obvious that Andromeda didn't know who to direct her stern gaze upon.

She eventually sighed and sat down in one of the chairs by the couch. "It sounds as if you know you were wrong to lie to the man, yes?"

"Yes," Harry said solemnly. Tom wanted to give him an award in acting. "I can't regret the relationship, however. I will never not care about him."

Harry's gaze on him is soft and Tom is enveloped in the warmth of his magic, and he can't tear his gaze away from him.

Tom almost wished their story really did play out this way, minus his death. Wished that he knew what Harry looked like in the throes of pleasure. Wished he knew how it felt to hold him in his arms. Wished to feel the warmth of his body next to his.

He cleared his throat, finally tearing his gaze away from Harry. "And I, him."

Andromeda looked between the two men and nodded sadly. "Well. I'm sorry, then, that your life was cut short, Thomas. It is no easy feat to give up the possibility of a peaceful afterlife so that one can return to this plane."

Tom gave a stilted nod. "Thank you."

"Andy, I have a hypothetical question for you." Harry asked, his tone serious as he carefully handed the sleepy boy over to Andromeda.

She stared at Harry, took in his shift of tone, and sighed as she propped the boy up so that his head rested in the crook of her neck. "What is your question?"

Tom stared hard at Harry, wishing he could use legilimency in this form— something to practise later— to tell Harry to keep his mouth shut. Hypothetical question, where was he going with this now?

"Say someone became the Master of Death," Harry started with a false sense of casualness.

"Oh, Harry," Andromeda moaned as she brought her free hand up to massage her temples. "Why is it always you?"

"Hypothetically, Andy," Harry stressed as he leaned his arms on his knees.

"Yes, yes, hypothetically," she drawled, "Of course."

"Would you, as a former Scion of House Black, be aware of any… ritual or book regarding how one might go about summoning, or communing with, Death?"

"Harry."

"Andy."

"You're talking about—"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh, you silly man, why would you want to go and deal with Death for? Hasn't he haunted you enough?"

"Oh, Death is more of an old friend, at this point," Harry joked.

"Harry, be serious please."

"Andy, there's a lot more to this picture that I haven't told you. That I won't ever be able to tell you. But we need help."

Tom stewed silently, furious that Harry would involve someone else in their search without asking him first. Harry knew Tom wasn't pleased; Tom could tell. He hadn't once looked over at Tom since he mentioned Master of Death.

"Of course you know I'll help you, you foolish, reckless—"

"Thank you, Andy." Harry interrupted with a cheeky grin.

"You won't find what you need in this library, however." Andromeda said, quickly getting to the heart of the matter that slowed their search. "Great as it may be, the library here pales in comparison to the library of the Black Manor."

Harry groaned as he put his head in his hands. "Another manor?"

"You didn't know?" She asked, baffled.

"He hasn't had a chance to look at what properties he owns." Tom piped up, his tone falsely cheerful to cover up how much he wanted to strangle the man, his arms crossed and held against his chest.

"My cousin Arcturus, the former Lord, lived at Black Manor until his death. He was an avid book collector and renovated an entire wing of the manor into his own massive library. I would suggest you look there." Andromeda said, resigned to this task.

"After losing Orion and Regulus in the same year, he focused on expanding his collection into anything of substance associated with Death. In his grief, he dabbled in Death magic in the hopes of bringing back his heirs, but he didn't have the talent for it. Necromancy, true necromancy, is an extremely rare gift and the House of Black has never been known to have such a gift."

Harry glanced at Tom with wide excited eyes. Tom held his gaze for a moment, two, then turned his attention back to Andromeda. The man frustrated him endlessly, attraction or no, but his excitement was warranted. They may have found a few books here that might point them in the right direction but it was nowhere near what they really needed.

"Thank you, Andy, I— we greatly appreciate your help," Harry said, then smirked. "Hypothetically."

Andromeda snorted then levelled a hard stare at Harry. "Don't you dare get yourself killed, damned, or cursed. Do you understand me, Harry James Potter?"

"Crystal." Harry said, all seriousness again. "I have no plans to die any time soon. I told you I would be here for you and Teddy, and I will be."

"He's rather good at surviving, truth be told." Tom quipped with a sharp smirk as he eyed the other man from the corner of his eye. "Like a cat with nine lives. Or a cockroach."

"Oi!" Harry yelled, laughter in his voice.

End Notes: Anyway, sorry for the 10+ month wait y'all. between another close family death, a rough winter that did nothing good for my mental health, and then just a loss of interest in anything harry potter, i kinda just decided a break was necessary. i'd been going strong in staying focused on harry potter fic for like three years straight, but i got burned out and needed to switch gears for a bit. returned to my naruto roots and have been working on a few wips there in the last few months. we'll see if i get around to posting anything lmao.

Chapter eight was mostly finished for several months, i just needed to add a bit more to scene three and edit it. i just kept putting it off, putting it off, and yesterday i said fuck it, might as well get it done and lightly edited and posted, out of my hair, etc etc.

Admittedly i'm very tired rn, so if i've missed anything while editing, sorry! may or may not eventually go back over the chapter but honestly just wanted to get it posted. thank you all for being patient!

Thank you all so much for reading and leaving faves, reviews, and/or alerts. I appreciate all the support!