CHAPTER 2: Responsibilities
"You have to grow from the inside out. No one can teach you. There is no other teacher but your soul."
As the sun had begun its descent towards the horizon, the sky was painted in a myriad of warm hues, a canvas of vibrant colors, starting with a soft golden glow that bathed the landscape of the Eastern Air Temple in a warm, ethereal light.
A gentle breeze whispered through the air, carrying with it the faint scent of blooming flowers, while the group of friends sat in a circle around a newly lit fire in one of the many meditation gardens of the temple.
As the minutes passed by, the golden tones across the sky deepened into shades of orange and pink, casting a magical sheen over the horizon. The sun itself, a fiery orb of light, gradually dipped lower, casting elongated shadows across the earth.
Silhouettes of trees, peaceful Air Nomad statues and distant mountains were etched against the backdrop of the glowing sky, creating a breathtaking panorama of shapes and colors with wispy clouds catching the last rays of sunlight, turning them into ribbons of gold and rose.
In the distance, a flock of birds soared gracefully, their dark silhouettes contrasting against the vibrant background that was the sky.
The young Avatar let his eyes travel with the gracious movement of the birds, and he felt his heart ache as memories of his childhood flashed before his eyes, back to a time when his people had soared across the sky alongside birds, bison and lemurs.
Aang closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, as he let himself lean back into the soft furs of the bison that lay behind him.
It was weird.
He had anticipated that coming back to the Air Temples would be an emotional rollercoaster for him. However, he had not expected the immense feeling of fatigue that now permeated both his physical and emotional being.
Physically, Aang's exhaustion manifested itself as a deep weariness that seemed to seep into his bones. His body, once nimble and agile, now felt heavy and sluggish, as if every movement required an immense effort.
Emotionally, he felt a profound sense of exhaustion born from the trauma of the war and the countless lives lost during the conflict, coupled with the burden of being the last Airbender and the Avatar.
Even though The War was over and he sat here surrounded by the people he loved the most, he felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness, despair and a deep loneliness spread from his heart, seething through every cell of his entire being.
He felt drained and depleted.
A knot formed in Aang's throat, a constriction tightening that made it hard for him to breathe properly. A wet heat flushed to his eyes, and he thought to himself that if he were to let it all go now, he might cry for an eternity.
He might actually fall apart this time.
He swallowed down hard and tightened his fists, as he forced himself to open his eyes to take a look around his friends around him.
Normally, Aang did not shy away from sharing his inner and utmost deepest feelings with his friends, but at this very moment he just did not know how to express himself.
He felt beside himself.
Alien.
On the other side of the bonfire he saw Zuko sitting atop his sleeping pad, chuckling at one of Sokka's jokes about the wrapping of the food that Katara had prepared and brought for them all to enjoy. Aang tried to bring his focus to remember the jist of the joke, but he had not paid enough attention to recall it.
He watched Toph next to the Fire Lord, a relaxed smile on her face, as she lay with both arms behind her head, relaxing into a reclining backrest that she had formed out of the soft earth of the garden. Aang took a deep breath and tried to bring his attention to the slow beats of the relaxed Earthbender's heart, but in an instant he felt nausea traveling up from the pits of his stomach, so he shook his head lightly in an attempt to brush off the feeling.
Aang did not know what to do.
He felt a cold shiver running down his spine, and he felt his body tremble slightly, while not daring to even look at Katara.
He could feel her soft and caring eyes upon him, as a warm wind that lovingly caressed his face. He knew that if he locked eyes with her, she would see right through him.
Her eyes would pierce right through his skin, revealing his broken heart, and he would come undone right there in front of everybody.
And he could not do that. Not now.
He had stuff to do. Responsibilities. To the world. To the fallen Air Nomads. To himself.
In a swift movement that made Momo squeak out in surprise, Aang rose to his feet with his eyes closed.
"Aang, where are you…" Katara started in a soft voice, but he quickly cut her off, as the knot in his throat came back.
He managed to croak out a few words: "I feel a bit overwhelmed right now, guys. Thank you so much for being here with me. I… I just need some time alone right now, I think."
Without looking at his friends' reaction to this, he opened his eyes to look up at one of the pagodas further up the mountain.
"Um… I'll go up to the sky sanctuary up there. Uh, meditation," he said while instantly regretting it, as his voice sounded thin, almost like a whisper.
"Sure… buddy," he heard Sokka utter warily, as Aang quickly grabbed his staff to unfold it, and before anyone could say anything else, he soon thrust himself upwards into the air, leaving the warm circle of friends in the meditation garden below.
And although the rest of the group exchanged concerned glares, they respected their friend's need for solitude.
They knew how much he had been through the last couple of years, and even if they did not completely understand exactly what went through the Airbender's mind and heart at this very moment, they realized that he needed to digest it all in his own way.