"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm very good company tonight," Erik sighed as he swirled the stale ale in his tankard idly.
The others went to sleep a while ago – it was already the middle of the night. Everyone spent the better part of the afternoon and evening in the large chamber, discussing the implications of what happened. Esbern was the only one suspiciously quiet. It was either that he was too stumped to have any ideas or insights, or it was just that he barely even registered what happened and he was already thinking about going back to his research. Either case was entirely possible.
By late night, or early morning, only Bishop, Aeyrin and Erik stayed in the room.
They didn't speak much anymore. All of them were just exhausted from it all. Aeyrin and Bishop didn't even expect Erik to talk to them, or 'entertain' them during their stay here. Nobody felt like discussing it anymore.
After all, there was nothing to discuss. Aside from looking for Dexion, everything was out of their hands now.
"Don't worry about it, Erik," Aeyrin smiled at him a bit, but the tiredness and distress were hard to hide from the tone of her voice. "We don't need you to be 'good company'. Shouldn't you go rest though?"
"I don't know," he sighed. "Maybe I should check out the refugee camp again." He looked beyond exhausted. That was not a good idea.
"Don't push it, kid," Bishop shook his head at him. "It won't be any different in the morning. If he's there, he'll still be there then."
Erik nodded thoughtfully. Hopefully it wasn't just an absentminded response and he really planned on getting some rest.
"You know, it's possible that Dexion already arrived. It's been a while. Maybe we could go with you in the morning to the refugee camp," Aeyrin suggested. Truth be told, it was also a way to ensure that Erik would wait until the morning and that he would get some rest.
"Are you sure? You know… everyone there knows what happened," Erik gave her a sympathetic look. The news may not have reached the rest of the Province, but those in the camp definitely knew about Alduin and the prophecy by now. "They'll recognize you."
"It's… alright," she sighed. It wasn't ideal, but she would just have to get used to this, wouldn't she? There was no escaping it anymore. She dealt with this before when everyone found out she was the Dragonborn. There were only rare places out there now that didn't know what she looked like, who she was. Now they would just know… one bit more.
That one thing she still desperately tried not to think about all the time. The one thing that still made her feel like an impostor who was just thrown into this as some kind of a Divine joke.
"I guess it's gotta start sometime, isn't it?" She shook her head in resignation.
She wanted to go to the camp, despite all this. She wanted to be there for Erik and she wanted to come and see if something happened to Dexion. They couldn't lose him now after all this time. She knew it was all still premature, since she couldn't Shout, but it suddenly all felt more pressing. Like everything was crashing down.
One city attacked and a town destroyed in a span of two days.
It didn't matter if Alduin was still patiently collecting his war-won souls. Not when his brethren were out for blood themselves.
"Maybe it will be a good thing," Bishop mused, though he knew it wouldn't be comfortable for Aeyrin. Down the line it might do some good. "At least some assholes will realize they really shouldn't be trying to kill you." People like the Silver-Bloods and the Vigilants might actually think about it much more now. That was his only comfort in this mess.
He was sure that they would see the scope of what this shit did to them all too soon.
And with any luck, they would get to find the Moth Priest in the cave and progress a little more.
Though he wasn't even sure if that was a good thing.
This entire mess certainly didn't seem to be getting any easier the more progress they made.
…
"This is the place," Erik pointed towards a cavern ahead. It wasn't anything too conspicuous – just a cave on the plains. Save for one guard by the entrance. "The locals call it Swindler's Den. I have no idea why," Erik let out a soft chuckle, though he was clearly not very interested in finding out.
All he wanted was to find his dad inside that cave. He had been so fidgety and nervous all morning that Bishop and Aeyrin rushed out of the temple with him almost right after waking up. They only grabbed some rations for breakfast to eat on the way. It was painful to watch him like that. It was better to just move quickly so that he would relax.
If his father was there.
There was no use in delaying this. The three of them approached the guard promptly.
"Oh. It's you again," the woman nodded at Erik. "And you brought more peop-… oh." She stopped herself when she spotted Aeyrin and her expression turned into one of both surprise and uncertainty. She looked exactly like those ones back in Rorikstead. Like she was dying to ask Aeyrin whatever was on her mind, but also kind of didn't want to know the answers.
"S-so… is it true? Is…" the woman seemed to get the courage to ask, but Erik promptly interrupted her.
"Did my father show up?"
"I don't know, sorry," she sighed. "I just started my watch. Go talk to Rorik, he's the one doing the records." She looked a little peeved, but she didn't address Aeyrin again. She did continue to stare though. This was uncomfortable.
Erik didn't waste any more time. He gave a brief nod to the woman and headed right inside that cave with Bishop and Aeyrin at his heels.
If she thought the encounter with the guard was uncomfortable, Aeyrin had seen nothing yet. She felt like she was holding some one-person parade. Everyone was staring at her when she walked behind Erik. She even tried to hide herself behind his frame, but it didn't work.
She barely even managed to register the surroundings, but she tried to concentrate on those instead after a while. She couldn't just keep thinking about the people watching her and whispering about her.
They passed a few chambers that had only a few people there and some crates before they got into the main chamber. It was a large one – with many bedrolls splayed on the ground by the walls, a huge long table and benches in the center and other crates.
"How did they get this stuff here?" Aeyrin asked curiously. It'd been only a day after the attack.
"It was recently occupied by a bandit clan, but someone cleared it a few weeks ago. It was a good idea to bring the refugees here," Erik explained.
He wasn't wrong. And there were many people around. Many more than they had expected. It looked like at least half of the village for now, plus the large number of guards. It was encouraging.
"There's Rorik. Let's go talk to him," Erik inclined his head towards the corner of the large chamber – there was a small table there with an older Nord man and a few other people sitting around it, with coin purses and ledgers on it. Clearly these were the people handling the organization of this camp.
Aeyrin again tried to ignore the people looking at her, but it was becoming difficult. Especially when she was catching some of the things they'd been saying. Things about 'saving' or proclamations like 'we're all gonna die'. She wasn't sure which was worse – people just outright accepting she was not going to be of any help or people laying all the burdens on her to solve and carry.
She always hated being the center of attention in any other situation than when she was playing her music, when the tunes were the main thing people saw. She hated it much more when neither the music nor she were the focus but suddenly the Dragonborn was. And the worst part was when they actually considered that Dragonborn to be their only hope against the end of the world. She wasn't sure why it was different. They always knew she was the only one who could kill dragons. But now they weren't just monsters people needed to be wary of. Now they were a prophecy waiting to consume them all.
Did they all know that she knew this before them? Or did they assume it was just as much of a revelation to her as it was to all of them? She wasn't sure which one of these was worse either.
The three of them walked towards the table by the back wall and soon enough, the people there noticed their presence.
"Erik, you're back," the older Nord gave him a sympathetic smile. That kind of said it all already. The way he looked, there was no doubt about the fact that he had no good news for the young man.
"He's not here?" Erik sighed. "Do you have any news about the victims?"
"Some… there were bodies. Some unrecognizable," the man, presumably Rorik, shook his head in regret. "The inn only had two found so far though. Both crushed by rubble and neither was your father."
"Well… at least he's not certainly dead yet," Erik pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. It wasn't bad news, but everything may have seemed that way when he was expecting good news.
"More people are brought in each day as guards comb the wider areas," Rorik gave him an encouraging smile. "They hide around in caves and other shelters. They don't know yet that we're here. There's two or three each day. Don't lose hope."
"Thank you, Rorik," Erik tried to smile, but he didn't really pull it off.
There was a moment of silence, but it was clear that Rorik and his friends were only forcing themselves to keep quiet, perhaps out of respect for the news he just delivered. He kept glancing at Aeyrin. And after a while, he clearly couldn't hold back anymore.
"You brought the Dragonborn," Rorik nodded at her at last. "Did you come here to see the fallout of our desolation? Or did you come to verify if what we saw is really true?"
Dammit, she didn't want him to ask that. She didn't want to admit that she knew about Alduin all this time and she didn't tell anyone. She had good reasons. But she couldn't really say that, could she? People wouldn't appreciate being kept out of the loop in order to curb mass panic and keep the pointless horrible war going.
"Is it real? Have you ever seen Alduin?" One of the women by the table interrupted before Aeyrin could answer.
Well… this might have been an easier question. It would still kind of reveal that she knew what was going on, but it wouldn't necessarily tell them that she'd known for ages.
"Yes… I found out later who he was," Aeyrin nodded somberly. "He was the one who burned down Helgen."
"Alduin or not, any of them can do that, apparently," one of the men there scoffed. "Doesn't take a fucking God to destroy a town."
Aeyrin flinched a little at the man calling Alduin a 'God'. She really didn't want to think of that ruthless monster that way.
"Yes… they're all dangerous," she sighed. She wasn't sure what else to say to them. They all looked at her as if she should provide all the answers in a matter of seconds. She didn't even want to think about the questions.
"But you can kill him, right? You can kill Alduin like any other dragon?" Another person beamed at her hopefully.
Pfft. I wish.
"Don't be fucking daft. He's a God. How can you kill a God?" The man said it again and it didn't get any easier to hear. Alduin was not a 'God', was he? Nobody said it before. She knew from Esbern that he was called the 'son of Akatosh' and that he was sometimes even thought to be the same entity as Akatosh, but those were just wild theories and metaphorical bonds, right? He was a dragon. The first one. The most powerful one. But not a 'God'.
"I'm sure she has a plan. You have a plan, right?" The excited woman addressed Aeyrin again.
Yes. A half-assed one that I can't live up to anyway. Good enough?
She knew she would hate interacting with people now, but they really had a talent for asking the worst things possible. But… she had to get used to this. She would be getting this way too often now.
So many people relied on her to solve this. So many counted on it. She was feeling so bad that she couldn't make that happen. Currently for multiple reasons.
"I uhm… I'll do my best. I promise," she stammered a little. She wasn't sure what else to say. She only felt Bishop's hand squeeze her shoulder a bit in support. Usually she would expect him to do something to make the people shut up, but he didn't this time. She wasn't sure why. Maybe this was the first time the people pestering her with this stuff weren't actually some nobles who just saw her as an amusing attraction. Maybe it was because these people were actually desperate and scared and just needed someone to reassure them.
She really wished she could do that.
"We're actually looking for someone here too," Bishop did speak after a moment of silence.
Right. Aeyrin had almost forgotten with how much she concentrated on the people here and their reactions to her.
"Yes. He was supposed to come to Rorikstead and ask for Erik. An acquaintance of ours. Did anyone like that come here?" Aeyrin asked. She did try to look around the chamber to search for Dexion, but she couldn't spot him and the more eye contact she made with people, the less reluctant they seemed to approach. Or maybe she imagined that, but the situation was making her feel too nervous and guilty.
"I'm afraid I'm going to need a little more than that," Rorik sighed. "We have some travelers here that were staying in Rorikstead. They're recuperating and helping out after what they've seen. I don't know anyone who was asking for Erik here specifically, aside from the locals worried about where he was during the attack, of course. Anything we could distinguish the man by? We could keep an eye out and tell him you asked for him if he is brought in later too."
"Uhm… well, he's a…" Aeyrin wasn't sure if she should say it, but they would see it anyway once Dexion got here. If he got here. Or if he was already here. Those robes of theirs were telling. And Dexion would surely identify himself as such in this strange situation. "He's a Moth Priest."
Everyone by the table quieted instantly and they all stared at her.
Oh Gods. It was a mistake.
They all had such… hope and intrigue in their eyes. It was almost disturbing.
"A 'Moth Priest'?" The excited woman gasped. "Is this about the prophecy everyone's talking about? Are you having an expert look into it? Or is there another prophecy? Or some power the Scrolls have and…"
"Fucking Void, stop," Bishop growled at her. Apparently this was enough to make him uncomfortable too.
"He's just an acquaintance we wanted to talk to. It's nothing to worry about," Aeyrin quickly shook her head. They really didn't need to know the details.
"Wait, how's young Erik involved?" Another person by the table raised his brow.
"I'm not. I'm just their friend. We're all looking for people so we came here together," Erik sighed.
"But the Moth Priest was supposed to ask for you," the man continued to question.
Dammit.
"I'm here a lot. They asked me to keep him company when he gets here until they could come," Erik tried to explain. It wasn't a perfect explanation, but hopefully sufficient for the information these people had.
"Do you know anything about him, please?" Aeyrin quickly addressed Rorik to get the situation back on track.
"I'm sorry, no," Rorik shook his head. "But… if you'd like, you are all more than welcome to stay here and wait until the guards comb more of the area. We're hopeful that more and more people will be found."
"We'll consider our next steps, thank you, Rorik," Erik nodded and he quickly ushered Aeyrin and Bishop aside before the people around could bombard them with more and more questions.
They stopped somewhere they felt like nobody could overhear them, though they still drew a lot of stares. Regardless, Erik seemed more eager to talk than to be concerned about that.
"What do you think? I mean… you don't have to stay. But… maybe Dexion came already. I haven't been home in a couple of weeks, I admit. And he was basically just supposed to wait at the inn for me," he sighed. "I can… I can wait here alone and try to help around, I guess. But… if you two want to stay a while too…"
He was so nervous about coming up with reasons for them to stay in the caves. Sure, it was inconvenient and it was not really going to be useful for their missions. Dexion needed to be brought to the temple, which Erik could do alone. And staying here would only subject Aeyrin to more scrutiny.
But Erik obviously wanted them to stay for some reason. Maybe he didn't want to stay here alone. He knew these people all his life right? But maybe he wasn't too close with them. Or maybe he wanted someone around who wasn't a victim of this tragedy and who could actually concentrate on his own distress.
Regardless, Bishop and Aeyrin shared a surprisingly understanding look.
What was a few more days? They weren't in a rush to get anywhere. And this could be good. Aeyrin was feeling guilty about not being able to progress with her quest to slay Alduin and helping those affected by a dragon rampage would make her feel a little better. And so would helping Erik. Besides, she needed to get used to being gawked at and talked to about this mess. It was going to be everywhere soon.
"I could help the wounded," she smiled softly as her eyes rested on some cots in the distance with a priest tending to the people on them. She recognized the robes of a priest of Arkay. Maybe from Rorikstead or maybe someone who came to help along with the guards.
"I guess I can hunt for them or something," Bishop shrugged, seemingly annoyed. But Aeyrin knew he liked Erik and if he didn't want to stay here with him, there would be a lot more protesting involved.
"Really? That would be so helpful," Erik beamed at them. "The priest they got came from Whiterun along with some guards after they got a message of the attack from the scouts. The rest are from the Reach, from the settlements and mines. Some came when they saw the dragons and the surviving guards just ran around the Hold asking for help," he chuckled a little. "But apparently Whiterun couldn't spare their priests of Kynareth so they sent… well I'm led to believe that priests of Arkay aren't much about restoration but more about… preservation. And no Dibellans came from Markarth. But… I guess now I know why."
It was an impressively fast response from everyone though. Barely two days after the attack and there was already so much help provided. It was encouraging.
"Some priests of Arkay are very skilled," Aeyrin shrugged. The Altmer in Falkreath who had saved her more than once from some very nasty wounds came to mind. But since he was the only priest in the city, it made sense that he was more concentrated on keeping someone alive in there. She wasn't sure how skilled the priest of Arkay from Whiterun was.
"Well… this one needs all the help he can get," Erik chuckled a little nervously. "And food is always a concern, from what I gathered last time I was checking this place out." He looked so much more energetic now that he knew they were all willing to stay here and wait for a miracle. It was quite nice to see. "Oh, and Bishop, if you're up for it… well since my dad as the cook at the inn isn't here, some people are lamenting the fact…"
"Ugh. Fuck off. Anyone can cook," Bishop scowled at him. He did not just ask him to cook for like fifty people, did he?
"Not like you do though," Erik chuckled a little. "You have no idea how much that does for morale."
"I can vouch for that," Aeyrin giggled. That was definitely true.
"We'll see," Bishop grumbled. Hunting was one thing – he could do that alone and get a break from the filled cavern. But he would likely not be cooking alone for this many people. He never cooked with anyone else but Lydia and sometimes when Aeyrin helped him out. It already sounded annoying and he wasn't even sure why.
"I'll try to help out with the search as best as I can," Erik changed the subject as he pondered on his own contributions. He was a really impressive scout. "Oh! I can ask Brelyna to come and help with her people detection magic!"
Bishop and Aeyrin stared at him in shock at those words. What did he just say?
"Brelyna? Uhm… the Brelyna from the College? The Dunmer apprentice?" Aeyrin gaped at him in surprise. He knew her? And he knew about her magical projects?
"She's a new friend of mine," Erik beamed. "I found her getting attacked by a dragon in the Morthal swamp a few months ago. She… she was in a bad place after her friend died. I know you two were there. Well… we killed the dragon and then we got to talking and I guess we're pretty close now," he grinned. "She helps out the Blades too when we need some advice about magic stuff. She's really smart. Like crazy smart."
"'Crazy' is the right word there," Bishop smirked. He would never forget her experiments. But… it was good that she was finding new friends. Even if it was sometimes necessary, moping around for ages was not good for anyone. He knew from experience.
"I'm… glad she's helping out. And hopefully feeling a little better," Aeyrin smiled a little nervously. She didn't want to ask, but she had to. She still felt awful after she'd seen what happened to Brelyna after the mess at the College. This was such a self-centered question. But she couldn't help it. "She hates my guts, doesn't she?" She bit her lip nervously.
"Uhm… I don't think so," Erik let out a wry chuckle. "She just needed someone to blame, you know? It's not easy. I don't think she hates you. She just wishes things went differently, that's all."
Yes, sure, if they knew that Aeyrin could survive that field long enough with the use of her Shout, J'zargo didn't have to die. But unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
"I'll write to her right away," Erik finally beamed once more. He looked really invested in all the help they could provide here now. "So… we're all staying? At least for a while."
"Yeah, we can stay a while," Aeyrin smiled at him warmly. She just hoped that his father really would be found. And Dexion too, if he was already in Skyrim. It did make a lot of sense time-wise though. How could anyone take more than a month to prepare for the journey?
Their relatively pleasant moment amidst all this mess, however, got promptly interrupted.
It wasn't just that people were scared and curious and hopeful and desperate all at once. Some had decided that there was just no hope left for anyone. And they were intent to drag everyone down with them.
A man in the corner of the room began wailing loudly about the end that the dragons would bring to everyone, about everything horrible that was to come when mankind would get enslaved by them yet again. It was always unfortunate when those that actually knew their history used it to scare people.
He got placated by some guards soon, but not before he managed to change the sparse careful hopefulness in the entire chamber, convincing everyone that there was no escape.
Dragons would only bring doom upon the world.
And there was nothing anyone could do about it.
The most disturbing thing was, that right now, it was actually true. Their prophesized hero was all but useless and all she could do was make herself feel better by helping those that just went through a tragedy.
As if that would help the countless more that would suffer the same the longer she was useless.
Suddenly it felt like staying here would not be even nearly enough to ease her conscience.