Everthing is going to be fine in the End

If it's not fine .- It's not the End

Prologue: Loneliness

156 missed calls

3042 unread messages

The efforts of my friends on Duskwood to get in touch with me. However, I had ignored it all.

Successfully ignored!

The shock was still haunting me. Richy had been behind the kidnapping of Hannah. Moreover, he wasn't blameless in the suicide of Amy Bell Lewis. Although he didn't mean to do it at all.

I really wasn't able to explain this. I felt pity for him. After all, he wasn't a bad person. All of this just had happened because he felt responsible for the death of Jennifer Hanson in the accident. He

wasn't even at the scene. Instead, he had handed over the AMC Gremlin to Amy and Hannah.

Knowing neither of the girls possessed a driver's license. In fact, he was drunk at the Pine Glade Festival and wasn't fit to drive. He was well aware Hannah could handle a car. After all, she had tried out her driving skills several times on the grounds of Roger's garage.

Believing in Hannah's ability to handle the vehicle, Richy had left the AMC Gremlin to the two girls.

I couldn't blame him!

Admittedly, even as hard as I tried. Richy couldn't have known that Hannah would fail to spot Jennifer on the roads in the dark. Even so, it was within the realm of possibility that an inexperienced driver overestimated herself and her skills. However, who expected the worst? I would have been so naive, too. I would have probably acted the same way.

There is no way I could justify the fact that 10 years after this tragic accident he had pretended to be a man without a face in order to scare Hannah and Amy...

Well, scare them into what, actually?

Teaching a lesson?

Getting revenge for his guilt?

I couldn't help but think about all this. I didn't just think about his motives, I also thought about how I would have acted in his situation. Our fates were connected in a strange way somehow. As Richy, I was also innocently involved in a case, whose control I had invariably lost in the end. Granted, I was not responsible for a suicide the way he was.

I gulped.

Of course I had!

I saw it on the cameras. I could clearly see Richy spilling the gasoline. I had tried to reach him a thousand times by phone. But he didn't pick up the phone.

Helplessly I had to watch how he had lit the gasoline.

Helplessly, I screamed for him to stop this crap.

knowing he wouldn't hear a single word I said.

I couldn't save him!

Because of my involvement in Hannah's missing case, there was blood on my hands from now on.

Richy's blood!

I had to live with this burden forever now.

Still, that wasn't the reason why my hatred for Richy overshadowed my compassion for him.

It wasn't because I felt betrayed. I did, without a doubt. All this time searching and worrying for Hannah, he had lied to us.

And actually, I should be furious about THAT...

Still...

There was this one thing...

The one thing for which I never could forgive Richy. Jake had also been in the mines. I was 100% sure something had happened to him!

Jake stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I never ever should have let him go into those mines. Clearly, I need to have been more forceful.

To me, the only enemy was the Man Without a Face.

We all thought Michael Hanson had appropriated this old legend to get revenge for the accidental death of his daughter.

In retrospect, it was pure mockery to say the man with no face was Richy. I guess I would have never been in any real danger if I had gone into those old Duskwood mines.

In contrast to Jake.

His pursuers had been close enough on his trail.

Soo…

I stopped my thoughts. Still, it was tough for me to finish this thought. I wasn't sure if Jake could leave the mines before Richy's inferno. If he had, however, he had probably run into the his pursuers, the FBI.

Sure, had been this little glimmer of hope. That little inconspicuous glimmer of hope that turns into an inferno of desperation with every second of waiting. Jake would have called if he had been safe.

There is no way, never in his life, he would have left his last message just like that.

Especially as I had already shown with my answer that I was returning his feelings. The three magic words he wrote to me made me believe I was heading towards my happy ending.

Instead, now I was literally drowning in despair. Not knowing if he had even seen my last message - it was hell. Regardless of which of the two end scenarios was the truth. Jake should know that I loved him too.

In case the FBI got a hand on him, surely it would give him strength. He would know I was waiting for him. He needed to know that he would be the one and only forever. The only one who ever mattered and always would. He meant exactly as much to me as I did to him.

This must have given him hope. He wouldn't drown in his despair and helplessness with this knowledge.

As am I.

My salty tears felt like they were burning on my skin. I was unable to fight back the worst of all thoughts.

What if Jake hadn't escaped from the mines?

But was it peaceful knowing that I loved him?

Was it hell?

Would it make him suffer even more?

If I were in his place in the mines, I surely had suffered. At exactly the moment I realized I wouldn't make it out of the mines alive. Knowing that I would be leaving him alone would have been worse than my own death sentence.

Increasingly more tears rushed down my face. Breathing was getting harder and harder for me with every new draught.

Of all people, why did I have to be dragged into the Hannah Donfort disappearance case?

Until today, I didn't have an answer to this question. Honestly, I didn't want to have one either. The reason I had been torn from my carefree and happy life seemed so insignificant. Just like the fact that I had saved Hannah.

All that didn't matter.

The price I had to pay was just too high!

I had lost Jake!

Maybe forever...

Otherwise he would get in contact with me. He would never take that long to reach out to me! So long had already passed. So much time that I' d lost track of everything.

Wait.

This was a lie...

I was well aware that it was seven weeks, three days, fifteen hours and thirty-eight minutes!

It was pure self-protection...

When I thought about the exactly period of time, I was still destroying all the seeds of hope that I had inside of me.

Three days without contact could still mean that something or someone had prevented him from getting in touch with me directly. But almost two months just makes this unlikely.

I gasped as I heard the ringing of my cell phone. Enthusiastically, I grabbed it, just to hit the hard ground of reality in the next moment.

Of course, it was not Jake.

Jessy has been missed call number 157

Admittedly, I probably her most attempts to reach me to speak. The fact that her attempts to contact me increased in the last time didn't make it easier for me. However, I couldn't and didn't want to talk to any of them.

I know I was lying to myself to some part. After learning Richy had been the kidnapper all along, I really didn't know how to face them. My greatest fear was that someone might tell me that they had also found Jake's body in the mines. The only thing I didn't want to admit to myself was that I wasn't quite yet able to give up this glimmer of hope.

Once again my cell phone rings.

Once again its Jessy.

Again, I didn't have the mental strength to answer her call. In fact, I didn't want to ignore them for such a long period of time. All my thoughts, instead, were currently centered on Jake.

I wouldn't be any help to Jessy. I wouldn't be supportive in the way that she needed and deserved. Quite simply, I was an emotional wreck. The day before yesterday I smashed my bathroom mirror out of anger. Hitting it with full power with my fist. Not even the injuries I had inflicted on myself bothered me.

So I didn't really even feel the physical pain.

The little squeaky voice in my head tried to make me aware of the fact that I had reached all the warning signals and urgently needed professional help. But I managed to block out this quiet voice perfectly.

If I was completely honest with myself: I wanted to suffer!

The feeling that I deserved to suffer felt too intense. For the way it all ended was entirely my fault. Richy would have never seriously harmed Hannah.

I should never have reacted to Thomas's message.

I shouldn't have let myself get tempted to play detective.

And above all, I should never have given in to my fascination with this mysterious hacker.

If I hadn't wanted to make his acquaintance...

If we hadn't got to know each other better...

Then we never would have fallen in love with each other.

Jake wouldn't go into those damn mines in place of me. Well, he would be safe now. There was no way he would have been in any danger at all. Still hiding from his pursuers.

Why didn't I mistrust him from the start, like the rest?

Why had I been so generous as to trust him immediately?

Let's face it, he didn't deserve that!

How was I unable to see just that he was behaving so suspiciously?

No, I had to fall in love with the hacker who was wanted by the government!

Definitely should rethink what kind of men I prefer….

Once again my mobile phone rang

Once again it was Jessy

Missed call 159...

160...

161...

162...

163...

164...

This time she was really pushy!

165...

166...

167...

I guess Jessy hoped that I would get weak and not continue to ignore her. In a way, I had been on the verge, too.

I wanted it to stop...

That everything would stop...

In retrospect, not taking the call had been a good idea. My self-destructive phase might have led me to yell at her to leave me alone. It wouldn't have been fair to her and her situation. After all, she had lost Richy...

She and Richy were...

The doorbell of my flat startled me.

Who the heck was ringing the doorbell at that time?

Staggering, I made my way to open the door for my unknown visitor.

"I'm coming!" I groaned annoyed. I didn't even entertain the possibility it could be Jake. After all, he didn't even know where I lived. Not to mention he didn't even know my surname.

So how could he find me?

And especially why show up here after almost two months of absence?

"I'm here!" I yelled, angry rather than annoyed by the disturbing sound of my doorbell.

"What the fuck?!", I yelled the moment I opened the door. I didn't care about who was there. The person was allowed to know how much their behaviour was driving me up the wall.

I hadn't given a thought to how inappropriate my behaviour might be. This wasn't just because I was shouting my frustrations of the last few months in the face of a stranger. After all, there was also the likelihood that I was putting myself in danger. The FBI, for example, would certainly not be squeamish if they weren't shown the necessary respect. Especially when you almost had your own love affair with a wanted hacker.

Probably I wouldn't have cared about all the consequences either.

Jake was gone and that was all that mattered to me. I had lost the love of my life.

So what could happen to me that was more terrible than that?

I froze as I realised who was standing in front of me.

"J...J...J...J..." I stammered. I was completely speechless. I couldn't believe who was standing in front of me.