Hi my name is Lexi Wekeo or rather that used to be my name. I was an Asian American. I've been reincarnated or something like that. Maybe I'm dreaming. The last thing I remember was going to sleep at night after an ordinary day in seventh grade and then pain, then I woke up in the midst of disembarking a plane. It was so disorienting I fell flat on my face and knocked three people down.

So I was driven from the airport by a caucasian male with curly brown hair, brown eyes and a moustache who welcomed me as Bella. I read his name off of his driver's licence when he handed me his wallet for a minute as he was trying to pay for parking at the airport. Before that I did that thing everyone does when someone obviously knows you but you don't remember them. I was all "Hey, you! Good to see you!" So awkward.

I didn't look like me. I was somewhere completely odd. That seemed like a dream so I just kind of followed along and did what I wanted. What I wanted included impulsively buying a violin from the pawn shop next to the diner when the man Charlie Swan wasn't looking. Charlie Swan is exactly the Charlie Swan you probably guessed he might be. I'm living in Twilight.

I was initially very resistant to the idea that whatever was happening required me to follow a plot line. I've been very stubborn about the violin. I was not instantly wonderful at playing it which was my first hint this might not be a dream. The first day reset several times. I always tripped at the exit gate but I kept rebuying the violin, determined to do my own thing and now it's the one thing I'm holding onto from my old life. I successfully bought a violin and I'm learning to play it and that is not a part of the Twilight plot.

I play for half an hour every morning and I'm getting pretty decent which means it's probably been about a year and a half since this all started because violin is a hard instrument to get good at and I'd only been playing for half a year before I died so if I'm getting good I've probably been playing for about two years now. My mom played professionally. I miss her. I don't play the same music she did. I've been playing pop mostly but some classical as much of the online music is classical. The internet is stuck in the dark ages. There is no video streaming. I've been able to download sheet music and fingering/technique descriptions but not much else.

I'd play for more than half an hour but, due to my unusual circumstances I don't have calluses to play longer.

As of now my name is Isabella, I forget my stupid middle name, Swan. I think it's Mary or Marie. My driver's licence says M and I don't remember much from the books but I remember enough to know I'm sick of them and I don't want to remember more. Maybe Alice's name had a Mary or Marie or something in it or Jasper's vampire sire was a Mary or Marie or Maria. I don't remember and I don't care. I just want my stupid groundhog day to not end with Edward chowing down on me.

Seriously! I'm stuck in the Twilight reliving days again and again until I make them match the plot. I'm stuck on the second day.

My first day, airport day, only took me a few weeks to get right mostly because I didn't know what was going on then but also because I had to learn to drive the truck. Big Red is a stick shift and I kind of sort of had to learn the difference between the gas pedal and the brake. Sue me. I'm twelve. So, if you're ever reincarnated into a story or you start playing this incredibly lifelike immersion video game or whatever, the first lesson is not to break important props. Like Bella's truck. Or yourself. Or the mailman. I'm very happy the truck likes turtle speed.

Day two of Twilight is Bella's first day of school and I'm having a hard time making it through the day without dying. The days Edward makes a slurpee out of me aren't as horrible as you'd think. He's usually so quick about it that it barely hurts. Actually I'm pretty sure vampire venom has two parts. The first component is some kind of weird toxin because I usually freeze and like I said it doesn't hurt as much as someone sinking teeth into your jugular probably should hurt. He usually snaps the neck of the other people in class and then chows down on me. Some days he chows down on me first and the screaming in the background is annoying. Me, I don't scream any more but I gotta figure out how to not trigger the feeding frenzy. The repeated violence is so over the top it feels cartoon like; it feels disengaged from reality. (I may be twelve but I've thought about the right words to describe this feeling for a long time.)

The second part of vampire venom, the turning part? That's happened twice but at least when it happens I only have to endure it until twilight.

Why don't I just go do non-Twilight things for the day rather than dying you ask?

Would you believe I'm a psycho/suicidal video game addict and I'm trying to beat level day two?

Actually, everyday I don't clear a day, night hurts more. Right now it's so bad, Edward the toothy killing monster is a kindness by comparison. The pain went away the day I learned to drive the truck but the pain started ramping up again when I couldn't clear day two.

I think I have some form of Stockholm syndrome. I'm starting to get attached to Edward. Yesterday when I went into Biology I actually just brazenly walked up to him, grinned and said, "Hello again Edward. My name is Bella. I'll be your snack today." He looked alarmed but then inhaled and chowed down.

I have a theory that if I can manage to get him through the whole of biology without him chowing down on me maybe I'll get to live through to tomorrow. It's hard for him though. Apparently I'm really tasty and Bella from the books was really lucky to live.

He moves so freaking fast he's pretty unavoidable. Today I'm going to try a preemptive strike in the cafeteria.

Well universe, let me tell you how my week of Mondays went. Day one, I emptied an entire thing of axe spray on him in the cafeteria. His response was fairly positive. He didn't go all bitey on me. He just whirled around looking furious and demanded of me "What the fricking hell?"

He usually uses more polite language but I guess it's true what they say. Axe has attitude.

I kinda sorta forgot how vampire pretty he was and I panicked and yelled, "Pretty bitey vampire boys get the Axe!" …i'm twelve or I was...

Jasper ate me.

I tried again the next day. I managed not to yell something idiotic but he still pretty-boy dazzled me. I just stood there frozen staring then I started sneezing and sneezing and sneezing. Apparently I'm very allergic to Axe spray. I went into anaphylactic shock and got to meet Dr. Cullen. Not the best of days. It was particularly humiliating because Edward the smelly vampire was the one who figured out I needed an epipen and rescued me even though I had Axed him.

Dr. Cullen wanted to know why the Axe spray.

I just glared at Edward. "Because he smells okay! You SMELL EDWARD! Do you hear me YOU SMELL!" I can't say I'm thrilled with him for murdering me day in and day out.

Next day of pre-emptive strike week I tried car freshener trees around my neck; twenty of them. I forgot Bella is an absolute train wreck of a klutz and managed to strangle myself before the third period.

I stuffed my pockets full of garlic. Bella Italia delicioso I guess. It didn't even slow him down. I think it was extra flavour.

The next day, I launched a paper airplane at their cafeteria table with a message on it. "Hold your breath in biology. Someone spilled formaldehyde everywhere." (I did.) This idea did not work because apparently throwing a paper airplane at someone attracts their attention so 'Stupid Edward' came over to investigate. He chowed down on me in the cafeteria and that set off all the vampires. It was a bloodbath.

Messing with his sense of smell was not working. I need a new way to beat the level. If I could go back and read the books again maybe that would help. How did Bella survive?

Apparently it wasn't by bopping along into biology fatalistically singing, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying," while shooting finger guns at Mr. Thirsty. I learned the last of that song on violin this morning. I was pleased with myself until biology.

Part of the problem is I'm not at all like Bella. I'm cheerful, outgoing and a bit of a showboat actually. I wish high school really was like High School Musical. I frequently goofball into becoming Edward's lunch.

I need to get past day two. I need to have a conversation with someone I didn't meet for the first time today. I'm getting lonely all though reminiscing with Charlie in the mornings about Bella's past has helped and calling Renee and talking to her about Bella's memories feels like it has connected me with at least two people who won't think I'm weird if I know too much about them.

Thankfully something about this situation is protecting most aspects of my mental health because I'm pretty sure I'd be complete white coat padded room material by now under normal brain dealing with things, conditions. The trauma doesn't sink in though I remember all my yesterdays. I get frustrated, yes but I don't fall to pieces.

I'm going to just try to chill out in Biology today. Dying by vampire doesn't really bother me anymore. I have no more capacity for it to terrify me. I came calmly to biology and sat next to him giving him as much space as possible and just waited listening to the lecture and trying to ignore him until he lost his control. I did glance over at him once. His nose was wrinkled up as if I smelled horribly offensive. I sniffed myself. I wasn't wearing axe or garlic or car fresheners. Feeling self conscious I turned away and inched a little further away in the chair. I tried to focus on the lesson until he ate me. The bell rang and he fled.

I was an amazed zombie through the rest of the day. When I finally got home I made grilled cheese and tomato soup for Charlie and I for dinner, then went upstairs and cried until I was hiccupping. Charlie asked me what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong Dad. Today was horrible but I survived," I don't think I've ever called Charlie, Dad before.

Reader pole:

So what was the key to day two?

a) Stop trying so hard

b) Be not afraid

c) An infinite number of typewriter monkeys will eventually result in Shakespeare

d) All of the above