A/N: I've had this sitting in my drafts for ages, mostly because I could not for the life of me decide how I wanted it to go - cracky humor or semi-serious smut? Ultimately I went with the first option, giving this fic a hard T for suggestive themes but nothing even close to explicit. Enjoy Molly's adventures with Sherlock, Khan, Doctor Strange and Smaug!

"The barriers between realities are coming down!"

With a bored expression, Sherlock glanced over at the other version of himself that had just materialized in his flat. "According to you, the barriers between realities are always coming down," he sneered. Waving a dismissive hand, he turned away. "It's your job to fix that, Stephen, nothing to do with me."

"Even if a certain pathologist has been kidnapped by a dragon intent on taking her for his mate?"

That caught the consulting detective's attention; sitting up from his lounging position in his leather armchair, he glared over at the version of himself that was the multiverse's Sorcerer Supreme. "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?" he growled, jumping to his feet. "Let's go get her back!"

Doctor Strange looked pointedly at his non-magical self – specifically, at the ratty pyjama trousers, faded t-shirt and dressing gown he was wearing. "A bit underdressed for a rescue mission, aren't you, Sherlock?"

The consulting detective gave a frustrated growl. "Make yourself useful for once, Strange, and do that thing you do." He waved his hands about in a vague approximation of a magical gesture. "Quicker than waiting for me to get dressed, don't you think?"

Earth's Sorcerer Supreme rolled his eyes, muttered something under his breath about ungrateful alternate versions of himself, then made a few mystical hand gestures. Within seconds Sherlock Holmes stood before him, nattily dressed in a bespoke black suit, custom-made Italian loafers on his feet, and a (very tight) aubergine button-up to complete the ensemble.

"Right, then, time to rescue Molly," Sherlock announced as he carefully undid the top three buttons of his shirt. When Stephen cocked a sardonic eyebrow at him, he said, "What? Molly likes them unbuttoned, says it shows off my neck better! As if you don't love how much she admires that damned cloak of yours," he added, rather petulantly.

Strange smirked. "Oh, sorry, Sherlock, is your Belstaff feeling jealous?"

"Will you two stop your childish bickering? We have a kidnapped Molly to rescue, if you recall!"

"Great," Sherlock muttered sourly as he beheld the second version of himself standing rigidly in the doorway to his flat. "Why did you have to bring him?"

"Khan was the one who contacted me and let me know about Molly's kidnapping," Strange said.

"Since there is only one Molly Hooper in the multiverse, it behooves us all to keep her safe," the genetically enhanced psychopath rumbled. "She's literally of singular importance to us all."

"Which is why you showed up wearing a skin-tight black shirt and trousers, exactly the way she likes to see you dressed," Sherlock snarked.

"It was just the most efficient outfit I could wear while traveling between dimensions," the Augment sneered, running a hand over his sleek black hair. Not-so-subtly reminding Sherlock that his own dark curls were virtually untamable. Bastard.

Strange, meanwhile had used his sling ring to open a portal to bring them to the New York City Sanctum. "Gentlemen!" he snapped, his American accent grating on Sherlock's ears as it always did. "I might have the Eye of Agamotto at my disposal, but time is still of the essence!"

Sherlock and Khan exchanged scowls, then opted to elaborately ignore one another as they passed through the portal, immediately moving from London to New York. Once there, Strange wasted no time in racing to the top floor, where they could see the enormous shape of a dragon through the window. "He's not actually here," Strange explained. "I've temporarily trapped his physical form in the mirror universe. That's just his astral form we're seeing. I needed him anchored to his own reality so we could more easily find where he's hidden Molly away."

"Or," a familiar voice said from behind them, "you could just, y'know, turn around."

All three men did so even before she finished speaking. Three sets of eyes widened, three jaws dropped, and one petite brunette clad in little more than a diaphanous white sheet smirked at them. "Anyone have a cigarette? I'm gasping for a smoke."

"Post-coital cigarettes are such a cliché," Stephen muttered as Sherlock practically tripped over himself hurrying to offer Molly a light.

"You appear unharmed," Khan said, eyes narrowed as he took in her languorous pose. She was leaning against the wall, a dreamy expression in her eyes as she gazed up at the image of Smaug's astral form.

"Well, he is another version of you," she said, waving the hand that now held a lit cigarette, courtesy of Sherlock. "Which means he wasn't going to hurt me, you should have known that." Her expression became harder. "All he wanted was to mate with me, which is more than the three of you have been willing to do. Gits."

"I don't share." "My life is too dangerous and unpredictable." "I'm married to my work."

"Same old, same old," Molly huffed, then took a deep drag off her cigarette before pointing at each man in turn. "You're going to have to learn to share, Khan, or we'll never have those superpowered Augment babies you've been banging on about the past three years."

Khan tried to look – innocent? Impossible, of course, but he still tried as the other two men narrowed their eyes at him.

"And your life isn't any more dangerous or unpredictable than mine at this point," she said to Stephen with a glare. "Certainly not too dangerous for you to keep popping into my reality 'just to get away for a bit, Molly, Sherlock's not the only one who thinks of your apartment-sorry-flat as a bolthole'," she added in devastating mimicry.

The only one who gave him an annoyed glance this time was Sherlock, but he quickly found himself under Molly's gimlet eye and did his best to morph his glare at Strange into a semi-neutral (but really hangdog) expression.

"As for you," she scoffed to the consulting detective with whom she shared a Prime Reality, "we both know 'married to your work' is just code for 'too much of a bloody coward to make a move'!"

Both Khan and Strange smirked at him, at least until Molly looked over at them in annoyance. Then all three of her three not-quite-suitors found themselves blinking and shifting from foot to foot, unable to meet her accusatory gaze.

Sherlock rallied first. "Oh, so the best alternative, in a multiverse just chock full of different versions of ME, is the dragon?" he sneered. He then sabotaged his attempt at taking the high ground by adding, "How did you even manage it? He's HUGE!"

"Mmm, isn't he ever," Molly purred. "But for your information - not that it's any of your business really - he has a human form. Quite a fit human form, which bodes well for Smaug Junior, here." She rubbed her belly and hummed with pleasure.

"Why did he let you take his offspring back here?" Khan demanded, shouldering his way past first Strange and then Sherlock, to stand directly in front of Molly. "Will you need us to fight him anyway, so he can't steal your child from you after you've given birth?" His eyes lit up at the prospect.

Molly smiled up at him, not one whit intimidated by the way he towered over her. "Nah," she said, patting him on the chest with her free hand. "Junior's mine to raise until he reaches adolescence. Then his dragon blood will bring him back home to his father, so he can learn about the other half of his heritage. It's up to him after that which world he wants to live in. Which means I get the poopy diapers and sleepless nights, but Smaug gets to deal with teenage hormones and attitude. Seems fair to me!"

Strange stared at her, aghast at her seeming heartlessness. "Molly, this is your child you're talking about here!"

"Yes he is!" she shot back. "MY child. Not yours." She caught Khan and Sherlock's eyes. "Or either of yours. MINE. Smaug and I have already worked out a shared custody arrangement of sorts, for after Junior gets all his dragon training out of the way."

Stephen frowned as she took another long drag off her cigarette. "Smoking is terrible for the baby. You really should quit if you're actually pregnant."

"Oh, I'm pregnant all right," Molly assured him. "Smaug wouldn't let me leave until we were sure."

That caught all three mens' attention. "Just how long were you gone?" Sherlock asked slowly.

"Mm, about six months, give or take - hard to tell time in a poorly lit, humongous, treasure-filled cavern while a gorgeous dragon in human form is worshipping your body," she replied. "How long has it been here?"

"A few hours," Strange said in a choked voice. "That, that shouldn't have happened, the Eye should have-"

"Should have what? Notified you right away that I was missing because of the mystic tether you secretly set up between it and myself?" Molly finished for him. She raised a sardonic eyebrow at his the tell-tale flush that colored his cheeks. "What, you didn't think I'd notice?"

While Strange groped for some way to respond without sounding like an overprotective arse, Molly turned her attention back to Sherlock. "As for that first question you asked - yes, as far as I'm concerned, Smaug was absolutely the best alternative to end this dry spell the three of you have trapped me in ever since our realities first converged - and don't think I haven't noticed your collective cockblocking," she added crossly. "You don't think he could have actually swooped in and 'kidnapped' me -" She made sarcastic air quotes "- without my cooperation, do you?"

"But he's a dragon," Strange protested weakly, Khan nodding mute agreement. Sherlock nodded as well, but there was an odd expression in his eyes as he studied Molly's slender form, a gleam in his eyes suggestive of…something neither of the other two men noticed, but Molly certainly did.

She shrugged, stretching in a manner meant to emphasize her 'feminine assets'. "Beats fantasizing about the three of you getting off your collective arses and working out a rotation...or possibly just realizing how amazingly hot it would be for the four of us to fu-"

"Forget that," Khan snapped, scowling, arms folded across his chest. "I told you, I don't share, Molly." He gave her a smouldering look. "Come back with me to New Earth," he cajoled. "Our children will be magnificent."

She patted her stomach again, not looking the least bit tempted. "Sorry, not till little Smaug here's finished cooking. Once he's born, we'll talk." She shrugged. "Or not. Maybe you should just find some nice Augment woman to have your superbabies."

"There's no such thing as a 'nice Augment woman'," he huffed. "They're all ruthless, ambitious psychopaths."

"Takes one to know one," Sherlock muttered, not quite under his breath. Ignoring the black look Khan gave him, he offered Molly a winning smile, as well as his crooked elbow. "Anyhoo, all's well that ends well. Molly is back, safe and sound, so if you'd be so kind as to return us to our London, we'd really appreciate it." He beamed as she slipped her arm through his and allowed him to pull her tight against his side. "Sling that ring, Strange, we're ready to go home."

Molly looked up at him with a sly grin. "Sherlock Holmes," she said, eyes gleaming with speculation (and possibly anticipation, the other two noted with alarm), "do you have a pregnancy kink?"

"Let's get back to London and find out, shall we?" he said with a smirk.

Both Khan and Strange seemed about to protest, but subsided when Molly cast a steely glare at them. "Call us when you change your minds about that foursome," were her last words before the glittery gold portal opened up to return them home.

After they'd gone, Strange and Khan contemplated the bare floor where they'd been. "So. You want to give her superbabies?" Strange asked.

"As much as you want to plant your mystical heir in her womb," Khan shot back, then uttered a very uncharacteristic sigh. "Looks like we'll have to get in line behind the dragon and Mr. 'Now That You're Already Pregnant I Want to Get Freaky With You'."

"Well," Strange said as he moved into place in order to send the Augment back to his own universe, "if there's one thing Molly Hooper's always been able to do, it's keep us in line."