A/N: This fic is getting more real than I originally planned, to the point I feel it's best that I start adding trigger warnings for chapters. In this chapter, Ghirahim has a panic attack with a lot of self-deprecating/lloathing thoughts, and some mostly unintentional self-harm. You can probably still understand the story by context clues if you skip this chapter and wait for the next one. Please stay safe, dear readers.

Ghirahim glances up from his reading. There was no clock of any sort in this classroom, but it still felt to him as if a lot of time had past. Shouldn't Link have come looking for him by now?

It also looked it, given that the blackboard was now covered in less than organized notes. Still, he had to give himself credit where it was do, his handwriting was quite esthetic. Swirling and elegant, without being tacky. Although, maybe it could do with a little more.

Ghirahim drew a simple diamond on the blackboard, in between the words 'Skyloft' and 'loftwings.' The sight of it made him smile slightly. Before he knew it he had drawn several more diamonds, to the point it was difficult to read his notes.

Oh well, he thought. I usually look up most things I write immediately anyway, so the diamonds take priority.

With that in mind, he snaps his fingers once more, creating yet another shower of diamonds of the magical variety. He was really starting to get the hang of doing it, as now they were even more numerous, and his chest didn't hurt as much after each casting.

Ghirahim knows this probably isn't all he's capable of, magic wise. For example, there must be a way for him to create diamonds that are more permanent, more tangible. But he was content with these pretty little poofs for the time being, and would experiment further whenever this injury of his was healed.

Unfortunately, the boy's chipper mood wouldn't last. Because he had now gotten through the section about hylian culture, and was now delving into their past.

The Demon War. Those words sent a chill down his spine when he read them. But most of all, demon. Why? Why did that word give him pause like that? Perhaps there is a section here about, oh, yes. Here it is.

The section on demons was incredibly short, only about a page or two long. But the things written there did not make him feel better. In fact, Ghirahim was quickly being made aware of a pool of dread rapidly forming within his gut.

In truth, he'd actually been stressed for a while now, ever since he realized just how long he had been at this for. But he had subconsciously pushed it away, laser focused on his work, that it was only now that it had made itself apparent.

Focus, he told himself. I must stay focused, and get to the bottom of this.

He began reading the words out loud under his breath, in hopes of keeping his attention on the task at hand. "'Demons are a race of monstrous beings who have waged war against the gods since the dawn of time,'" he reads, pointedly ignoring the slight quiver in his voice. "'Due to being composed of pure malice, they exude an aura of evil that attracts monsters and radically changes the behavior of animals.' So, not a pleasant sort," Ghirahim comments, trying to add a little levity to the suddenly tense atmosphere he found himself in. It doesn't work. The dread just becomes stronger by the minute, and the next paragraph brings it to a head.

"'Additional qualities of note include their… oh. Th-Their desire for power, high stamina and resilience, as well a-as… bloodlust. An unquenchable hunger for battle, pain and… death.'" The final word, delivered barely above a whisper, so chilling and dark in the emptiness of the room. It may as well be his sentence.

"W-Well, that's certainly… unflattering and…" But he can't make himself continue. His mind was now moving a mile a minute. He grappled with the thoughts for a moment, tried to make them stop. Not down that path, anywhere but that. But they refused to listen, and soon a gruesome puzzle began putting itself together, piece by piece, before his eyes.

That small creature that came out of nowhere, that looked to be readying itself for a fight. He supposed it could fit the definition of 'monster.'

Link's bird seemed very skittish and on edge, before Ghirahim made it clear he wasn't a threat.

The moment he'd realized he had magical power, Ghirahim was very eager to relearn it, and master the full extent of his abilities.

And of course, he couldn't forget the battle with Eagus.

Then there was something obvious, that he really should have questioned before this. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Not a single other person he'd seen looked like him; no hylian he met had gray skin and white hair. Nor could they taste in the way he could. He really should have thought about it more when Link told him he couldn't taste his health, but there'd been so much going on…

'If you are unfortunate enough to encounter one of these gruesome foes, run and call on Goddess Hylia for aid. Pray it does not find you.' He finished the section in his head, unable to continue reading aloud.

So that's it, then. Ghirahim thinks grimly. And to think, I was so eager to recover my identity…

With a heavy heart, Ghirahim moves to close the book and put it away. This was more than enough research for the day. Or maybe ever. But something catches his eye in the blur of pages. This book has illustrations? Curious, he opens it to that page… Big mistake.

A group of hylian warriors, their swords sharp, but expressions desperate. Their terror is clear, even in the simple black and white drawing. And they were fighting… they were fighting something big and dark and…

With a hiss of air through his teeth, the book falls from Ghirahim's grasp with a thud. He couldn't understand what he was feeling right now, and that made it even scarier. Even with the amnesia, he could always give a name to his emotions. Why now, when it was the most important, couldn't he do so?

Well, he did know that he wanted that book away from him. With a swift kick, it was sent careening into the wall—wait! That's school property, he can't just do that! Oh, what has he done? Why is he like this?

I'm so pathetic…

But not even his shame was something he could hold on to, to anchor himself. He was caught in this spiral now, and he had to go wherever it pulled him. There was no use fighting anymore. He had to obey.

Did you seriously think you could resist? Foolish boy.

A low, resonating hum began thrumming through his ears, becoming louder and louder the further Ghirahim sank into the overwhelming emotion. Almost like a massive bell, but without the percussive hits. His body was tingling oddly, especially in his hands.

It was always going to end like this. This is who you are.

Wait…

It's who you've always been.

No… it's wrong. It has to be wrong, there's no way it could be true. Ghirahim doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Maybe not now, but you did. You were excited to fight Eagus.

Not to harm him.

That is the entire point of a fight: maim and kill your opponent.

…

Ghirahim's legs are shaking too much to hold him up anymore. He falls to his knees on the hard floor. With shaking fingers, he just manages another snap. But the diamonds are few, and the pain is great.

You deserve this pain. Your purpose is to kill, and you cannot even manage that.

He whimpers. A high, keening cry that he can barely hear over the roaring in his brain.

Perhaps that's why LInk left you. He finally realized, belatedly, what miserable company you really are.

Wait, no, that's not it, is it? Link wouldn't actually abandon him, right?

Of course he did. He hasn't come for you in hours. He surely has forgotten all about you by now. Maybe he even forgot about you the moment he ran into his real friends. Or, more likely, he remembered the pain you caused him.

No, stop. Please, just stop.

And he finally understood that this world is better off—

No, no, no! Enough!

Diamonds! He needs more diamonds now! Snap, snap. More diamonds like this, but also more pain. Is that ringing just in his head, or can other people hear it? Please don't let anyone hear him, not now.

He would taste the air to see if anyone's around, but he's now trembling so badly he would probably bite his tongue clean off between his chattering teeth.

You say that as if it's some great loss. You'd do the world a favor by getting rid of that long, slimy thing. It's disgusting. Especially how you flicked it at Link earlier.

But Ghirahim just wanted to help, to make sure he would be alright.

It doesn't matter. It is a creepy and vulgar thing to do. And you have the audacity to claim it was for his benefit? What next, will you lick his blood, too?

Ghirahim tries to breathe, with little success. Actually, tasting his blood would give him even more in depth information.

Now you are just making excuses for your sadism and depravity.

Snap, snap. More diamonds. The pain in his chest is almost unbearable, but it's also grounding. It means he's still alive.

Oh, so you enjoy the pain? You really are a model demon, aren't you?

That's not what he meant at all!

You can't hide from your true nature forever, boy. Eventually, you will break. You will give, and it will be beautiful.

The tingle in his hands has now escalated into full on pain, mostly in his fingertips. Had he snapped that hard? He didn't think so…

Ghirahim fumbles, hands shaking so hard that it's nearly impossible, but ultimately, he manages to remove his gloves. And is met with a horrific sight.

His fingers were melting. No, worse than that. They were being coated with a hot, steaming substance that was quickly hardening into … metal? Dark, hard metal just like that other Ghirahim

That's right. Embrace the power. Let yourself retake your true form. This is your purpose. It was meant to be.

No! Ghirahim forces his hands to still and shoves his fingers together. Trying to push, to twist, to claw, do everything to get the metal off. But nothing works. If anything, it just made the darkness consume more of his fingers.

Escape. His first coherent thought, bursting through the wall of feelings and pushing him to action. Escape, leave, get out of here. Go away!

Panting, whimpering, barely holding on to consciousness, Ghirahim raises a hand, and puts his last remaining willpower into a final, harsh snap. His surroundings are swallowed by diamonds, and a stab of pain rocks his body before everything goes black.

It's for the better.

A/N: Don't worry, Ghirie is still alive. And if everything goes to plan, he will finally start getting the comfort he desperately needs next chapter.