"Hey Keqing, can you tell me where Ganyu is?"

No, she'll ask questions at that…

"Good evening ma`am, I was looking for someone. Have you seen a blue-haired woman with horns?"

Nah, no way she's forgotten everything about me so quickly.

"Keqing! What's up my friend, my pal, my partner?!"

Absolutely not.

These scenarios and many others run wild within my mind, searching for the one plan I haven't thought of yet. The perfect plan- which will allow me to ask our purple haired pal for directions to Ganyu, while also keeping her questions to a minimum. And also while making sure she doesn't recognize me. Even though I didn't do anything wrong (that she knows of), if I go up to the Jade Chamber without an invite and am caught again by 'Ms. Purple', questions WILL be asked.

There must be a way, an angle to tackle this…hmmm…

"Boo!"

"Wah!" :THUD:

….Butt, meet floor. Charmed I'm sure. But before I can even think of rubbing my now-sore behind, a gloved hand is thrust in my face. Wait, deja vu?

"Oh boy, do yourself a favor and never ever ever meet Hu Tao. If she saw how badly I just made you flip, you'd never want to step foot in Liyue ever again!" Names I don't recognize. Hints I won't get. Grammar like a 10-year-old. This girl is quite a handful. And of course, by "this girl" I mean Xiangling Mao, who has helped me up again. The only difference is that there's no box of fish nearby, so I guess she finished her work.

"What are you doing?" I whirl around, slightly annoyed.

"Sssshhh!" And now my lips have a pointer finger touching them, as Xiangling stares at me angrily. Well, "angrily". It's more cute with how puffy her cheeks puff out. How old is this girl? "People are trying to eat…!"

And naturally, I can't hear that without scanning the area. What I see is what you would expect. Customers eating their meal, momentarily distracted by the sudden shouting man, and now returning to eat. Some with a bit of an annoyed look still, some with a smirk. Perhaps they know Xiangling's tendencies already, it would make sense if she's actually a cook here-

Wait a minute- did Keqing hear?!

A look back to the wall….okay, thank the Archons. The Yuheng still eating her Shrimp Balls, seemingly undisturbed. I turn back to Xiangling.

"Seriously, can you kindly buzz off? I'm in the middle to something very important here!"

"I will not, excuse you!" She huffs back. "This is a restaurant smart guy, and I don't remember taking orders from anyone from Fontaine. So sit down nicely or wait outside."

"But I need to be here, now…just let me think…" Trying my best to block out any future high-pitched cries from the chef, I turn my attention back to the literal whole point of this.

But of course, if getting rid of people was that easy, I'd just walk straight up to Keqing myself. It appears that Xiangling has noticed where I'm looking, golden eyes brimming with curiosity.

"Oh, you want to talk to Keqing?" Hm, no mention of her title? "Why do you need to do that-"

Xiangling shuts up, which I'm already learning is a rarity. And closer inspection reveals that she has a tiny smirk on her face.

Wait, a smirk?

Oh nonono!

"I know why you want to see Keqing~"

OH NO you don't! You're about to ruin everything-

Wait. What am I worried about. There's absolutely no way a clearly high-level government official knows a random, annoying, can't-take-a-hint-if-her-life-depended-on-it, loser of a cooking girl….

Why are my legs moving forward.

"Heya Keqing~ What's going on?" Ok, seriously, how does she keep doing this? I'm the bigger and taller one and have a gender advantage. It makes no sense how she's able to effortlessly drag me across only using a hand on my wrist, lack of personal muscles aside.

But instead of receiving an answer, I'm about to be amazed a second time. "Xiangling, a pleasure~" Keqing looks over at us and…smiles as she eats? As if she's our friend- or, I guess, Xiangling's friend. How the heck? "Although, you're making such a ruckus in your own restaurant, I was about to ask if you were all right instead." Huh. Guess she did hear.

"E-Eheheh...sorry bout that~" Her non-capturing hand goes up to her neck. "I just thought you could help this guy! He was really staring at you, and I think I know why!"

"Hm?" Keqing appears curious, and not a little judge-y already. Meanwhile for me, this is rapidly approaching 'abject disaster' territory! She's not seriously going to say I have a crush on the purple cat lady, is she?!

"I think he wants to try one of your Shrimp Balls!"

Huh?! The young chef doesn't care about my look of shock, brimming with confidence. "I've seen the sparkle in his eyes, and I know what that means! So Keqing, if you could spare just that last one?"

…..I'm stunned. Keqing has a look of confusion.

"…Wait, but I don't have any money!" Not the most relevant thing I know, and a plain lie, but might as well roll with it. Better than the alternative, and it allows me to score a free win with the following sentence. "Plus, I couldn't just take some food from somebody else."

"If I may." Keqing calmly speaks while popping another ball in her mouth. "Xiangling, I respect your desire to help, but I was hoping for a quiet meal this evening." Ouch… She seems to think for a moment longer though. "No, perhaps that's the wrong tone to take. It is a small loss, giving one away to someone who has never experienced golden perfection before."

"Uh, Keqing?"

"Let us split this final one, as a show of goodwill between Liyue and Font-" The dark glove goes down to her plate, pinching and picking up….nothing.

It appears she- "It looks like you ate them all." Thank you Xiangling, your powers of observation are second to none. You're also causing the blush sizzling across your friend's face to speed up. So the Yuheng can get embarrassed AND has an unhealthy obsession with Shrimp Balls huh?

"M-my apologies-"

"I've got it!"

Keqing tries to excuse herself, Xiangling pipes up, and I feel the restaurant spinning in the next moment. The chef has spun me down into an open chair, pushing me in- opposite from Keqing- before I can even blink.

"I'm going to make some more! Wait right there!"

She's past the double doors presumably to the kitchen by the time I look back. What the hell is that girl's problem?

Nonetheless, I suppose I should thank her a little. After all- I'm alone with the person I needed the most. Nice how things work out, I-I guess?

"Nice to meet you Ms. Keqing. I'm-"

"Please, just Keqing is fine." She interrupts, but then says something interesting. There's also no need to introduce yourself, I know all about our magician from Fontaine."

"From Ganyu?"

"Mm-hm." Guess you asked about what I said to her. "You're already making a name for yourself, you know. Impressing Ganyu with your talent, along with-" She shrugs her shoulder in the direction Xiangling disappeared in, wearing a thin smile.

"Heh….heh, what's up with her anyway?"

"Don't worry about it, she means well, just a touch overexcited. But she's a true friend." Now that smile gains more of a wistful feel, as if she's reminiscing about something.

A few more seconds pass in silence, and unfortunately, brings a naughty truth with it: I'm still stuck on how to bring the topic of Ganyu up…

Let's see, what did I learn?

*Well, Keqing is a friend of Xiangling.
*She's very professional, calm, and a little curt.
*Probably has a bit of an unhealthy addiction to Shrimp Balls.

Can I use anything here?

…."If you don't tell Ganyu to meet me, I'll tell everyone in Liyue about your slight obsession with Liyue cuisine!"

Yeeeah, I do not think that's the play here. The only thing I like about that sentence is making Keqing bring Ganyu down instead of myself going back to the Jade Chamber, at least I won't have to deal with guards that way.

Hm, if I could just have the opportunity to give her a small 'command'…

I take a look at Keqing, hoping that she's not doing the same. And indeed she's not, lazily tracing her Shrimp Ball-less plate with her finger. If she thinks I'm just a magician, I might be able to get away with the same plan as Ganyu, we've got time…

But, I get the vibe that she's also a little more serious than Ganyu, so I don't think I'll be able to entice her into a magic trick so easily. Instead, I'll have to make her think she wants it instead.

"I would like to apologize." Breaking the silence with the best plan there ever was, I finally speak. Keqing's red eyes go to me at once.

"Hm? Whatever for?"

"Well…I haven't even offered to fill this time with some entertainment…!"

A confused look appears on the restaurant-goer. "Oh? No worries, I wasn't looking for that anyway."

"Yeah figures. You would be an awful audience anyway."

…Is it just me, or did the air around our table get noticeably more charged? Also, if I wasn't right of mind, I'd think Keqing's eyes had just gained crosshairs.

"And what, pray tell, do you mean by that."

I shrug like it's nothing. "My shows are for a certain kind of people. The awe-strucked, the imaginative, the people that can allow themselves to detach from the world and embrace the incomprehensible and amazing wholeheartedly. They are not for the analytical individuals who won't stop until everything is explained ninety times, all magic stripped and wondrous feeling gone."

"So, the people that just shut up and don't ask questions." Keqing fires back. "Is that right?"

But I take the jab in stride. "Not until after the show is over~ 'How did you do that?' Is always much better than 'That trick made no sense'. If everybody in the audience was as perceptive and intuitive as you, I wouldn't have a career- every show would be stale."

"…I'm not sure if that's more of a compliment or an insult."

The Yuheng crosses her arms and legs, before drumming up a new angle. "Would you be interested in hearing my thoughts?"

"Always."

With a hand placed on her chin, she smirks lightly. "Your words were just an illusion; noise to provoke me. I hypothesize that our magician friend lacks the talent necessary to inspire that same feeling in more attentive audiences."

Now it's my turn to stare like Xiangling just smacked me. "…What?"

"You say that your shows resonate more with individuals who are perhaps more 'wonderous' with their thinking. And yet, as any entrepreneur will tell you, they can only hope for a specific audience, while not excluding the rest. Decrying and discouraging others who don't fit in that bubble, such as myself, from seeing your shows will only stunt your growth."

"Uh…" Ok, even if this is a needed step, she's not wrong…

"Furthermore-" she continues. "A magician's stage is a high-pressure environment. Everybody's attention solely focused on but one individual, trying their best to entertain and amuse. One lone mistake could proof fatal, derailing the entire performance. From that perspective, I can understand why you seek your preferred crowd exclusively. And yet, instead of shriveling up and rejecting 'analytical individuals', would it not be more professionally fulfilling to dive into the unknown, improving your skills with the different, more varied audience? Those are just my two Mora in any case."

…I'm speechless.

"Was that too much?" Keqing is looking mighty pleased with herself…meanwhile I think my tongue just died, with no idea what just happened.

But it hardly matters, does it?

"S-So, uh, would you like to see a magic trick? For, practice?"

The smile on her face is addicting, a proud winner. "Changed your mind, have you? Well, if that's the case, I would be happy to help."

"Great!" Your words are truer than you know, Ms. Keqing. "We should probably wait until we eat though."

"Agreed." And with that, we fall into silence again, though a more comfortable one this time. No doubt she's thinking that I'm thinking of what kind of trick to perform after this. Obviously that couldn't be further from the truth, since I'm really thinking of my precise wording I'll use once Keqing is nice and under~

And then, Ganyu, hahah, you're next!

Sure enough, after a minute or two, Xiangling comes bursting back out of the doors. However she's carrying only a couple glasses of water to my confusion (and Keqing's disappointment). I promptly ask where are the Shrimp Balls-

"Sorry about that, Gouba's preparing them as quick as he can~They'll be here in a few!"

And then she darts back, Keqing just chuckles…and I…

"Ok, what the fuck is a Gouba?"

Next time our hero forces his way in, and gets to go another round with the secretary.