Author's Note: Just a heads-up, neither this chapter or the next contain any hypnotism. After that, we should have two straight with it.
FirstWinterLight: Honestly, I never really thought about it initially, but she absolutely is~ Perfect appearance, and perfect circumstances for our main character! Avoiding the adepti will be a challenge indeed...
"One Teyvat Fried Egg, coming up!"
The fading sound of feet hitting the floor as someone familiar scurries back to the kitchen brings a sense of tranquility to my surroundings. How often since I arrived at Liyue has it been this quiet? Not very- normally I've been surrounded by ocean waves, attractive people, or… well, Xiangling. But now sitting alone at Wanmin, with only a smattering of other individuals this early? Such treasures are to be protected. It is a bit funny then, that the primary noise is some giggling and some excited fidgets that is coming from… your favorite hypnotist, me.
But I just can't help it! My first step is complete- I hypnotized Ganyu. Let me say that again with more emphasis on each word. I. Hypnotized. Ganyu! My smiles are unstoppable- I try to calm down, and another just stretches out my cheeks! I always hoped for this, sure, but now I just have to flashback to last night instead!
The sexy blue-haired adeptus, with a perfectly proportioned body and exposed back, just staring there mindless and obedient…! Even without really doing anything to her as of now, it's an incredible memory~ Who knows when exactly I'll have my next opportunity, but I know it will happen one day, and that I'll be able to get away with more. Putting a hand on Ganyu's shoulder will be like child's play~! Maybe I could actually be bold at long last- panicked screw-up earlier notwithstanding… gah, the suspense is killing me! It's lucky my body slept really well yesterday night into this morning, cause I am NOT getting a wink tonight! It already couldn't make it past sunrise, hence why I'm at Wanmin enjoying a lovely breakfast. Or about to be anyway~
"Here ya go~"
And 'about to be' is now, as I'm staring at two rather large sunny-side freshly cooked eggs, covering the normally pristine white plate. And just below the duo lies a curly piece of bacon, in the shape of a wide 'u'. So my breakfast looks like a smiley face.
"Cute, Xiangling." Without looking up, I know.
"Heheheh~ Well can you blame me, you look so happy today~ Something good happen?" She's carrying another plate full of food, yet still finding time to talk? Nice.
"Yeah, something like that." I nod happily.
"Oh really? What was it then?" Now her curiosity is piqued, so she pulls out the table's other chair…and sits down, plate of fish hitting the table? Wait, so that's breakfast for her? Now?
"Um, do staff normally sit and eat with customers? Or is this all so I'll tell you?"
"Heh, not quite!' She picks up a perfectly-cut slice of fish, and stuffs into that chipmunk hole she calls a mouth. "It'th becauthe your sccwo early, you know-" She swallows, and cuts another- "didn't even have a chance to eat today." Goodbye, second slice. "Beshides, your smile is nice to shhee~"
I'd appreciate the compliment a lot more if I wasn't being sprayed with fish juice. "Don't you know not to eat and talk at same time?! Ugh….here!" I pick up one of my two eggs (using a fork, thank you very much) and plop that sucker on Xiangling's plate while she's inhaling another fishy chunk. "We had fish last night, diversify your meals!"
"Hey, no gouging out the eyes! I worked hard on that!"
"Well between you and me, I don't really like it when I'm eating food in the shape of something. Makes me feel like I'm actually eating the real thing."
"…What the….?" Xiangling stares at me, incredulous. "T-that makes no sense! Wait- So you've never had an animal cracker before?!"
"Nope. Don't like the idea of seeing a half-eaten tiger or something."
"Whaaaat?! That's terrible, they're so delicious! Don't worry- I have some Gouba-shaped snacks on me somewhere- it'll help you get over that block!"
"Xiangling, c'mon… it's not that serious."
She groans, clearly about to protest further… but her stomach rumbles. "Fine… fine. You weirdo."
"Hey I'm not the one freaking out over animal crackers like a kid."
"Wow, how mean can you get! Fine then, excuse me tor caring!" She emphatically turns her head away from me, clearly not actually mad. Seconds later she continues though. "Do you really think of me like that anyway?"
I put my hand to my neck and laugh. "Yeah, a bit actually~"
"O-oh…. I-I see…."
…Uh-oh. It doesn't take a genius to know that that reaction genuinely struck a nerve. So I open an eye to see an uncharacteristic frown on Xiangling's face, lazily swatting over the egg with her fork.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that…"
"No problem, don't worry." That's the most obvious lie in the book Xiangling, whenever somebody limply says 'no problem', there's a freaking problem. Also…. Shit, shit, shit…this is my fault, I just made it awkward. I hate when I do that! What to do…?
"Uh, so, you wanted to know why I'm so happy?" My mouth suddenly blurts out. "W-well after you left-"
Four options spring to mind immediately.
A: "I managed to catch a fish all by myself, it was quite tough!"
B: "I read some more of my book and got to a really funny/wild/interesting part!"
C: "I ended up talking to a few people at the port and had a nice chat with them!"
D: "I got to hypnotize one of the most important people here, Ganyu! I can't wait until I deepen my hold over her next time!
Ok, I do not know what I was thinking with that last one. Just give her the entire game, why don't I?
"Um, I caught a fish… It was really exciting." I'm just going to say whatever to revert the mood back.
"Oh, really…?" Xiangling replies back, perking up a bit.
"Y-Yeah, but I couldn't reel it in, you know." …Jeez, why am I getting so bent out of shape over this…? Let her be bummed, who cares? I told the truth.
….Sigh….no, c-crap, I can't do that.
"Can you show me how to do that actually? If you're able to, anyway."
The final word barely leaves my lips, and in a literal second, Xiangling has grasped my wrist with a nice snatch. "Of course~" She says cheerily, as if she wasn't just moping a second ago. "Dad, I'll be right back!" Oh right, that explains the wimpy look I felt when I ordered my food. Ah well- guess I'm going to the harbor again, although strangely I don't feel like I'm being pulled by a superhuman this time around… I wonder why?
And another thing: Why was Xiangling so bothered by being called a kid? I clearly said it in a joking tone, right? …Right?
Oh yeah, yet another thing… "Xiangling, I'm not done eating yet!"
Hm, there are two related aspects that I really never noticed about Xiangling before now. One is that she is a bright person- in terms of clothing color, not intelligence. Two is that she, er, really doesn't wear… a lot of clothes to begin with. I'm definitely not trying to imply anything, buuuutt- her outfit is pretty much another body suit plus a bright orange apron… and that's basically it. All four limbs are plainly exposed, minus her hands and feet, so there's no real need to imagine anything. Now if Ganyu was dressed like this, then holy shit would last night have been even harder. But with Xiangling? It's genuinely tough to be even a little aroused.
Maybe I should keep these thoughts to myself… don't need to bum her out again. It is kind of funny though; we're only here at the harbor because I called her a child, and now, her having such a child-like body and personality is all I'm focusing on. Instead of, you know, anything she's actually saying.
In my defense though, not even Xiangling's passion can making an explanation about reeling in a fish not boring as the Abyss itself. I really want to fall asleep.
In desperation for something, anything to happen- my hand starts to creep right up to Xiangling's back… she's standing really close to the edge, and she doesn't notice me at all, blabbing to the ocean…
Wait, no! What am I doing?! Am I really about to push her into the harbor- that'd be horrible! A real dick move! I'm not that kind of person! I couldn't do that to-
"So to recap: Keep your knees slightly bent, your upper body straight, and be ready to fight with the fish, not necessarily against it! Do all of these and you'll be drowning in fish soon enough- I guarantee it!"
Fuck this, she's going in.
"Y-yeah, I think I understand. Can I practice?"
"Of course!" With an award-winning smile, Xiangling turns to me and tosses me her rod. Even a rookie like me knows that the fishing rod in my hand is of much higher quality than the one her father gave me the other day. Should probably toss this before I toss her then.
"Hey!" My view suddenly snaps to the horizon. "What's that?!"
"Ooh, where?!" Predictably Xiangling follow my vision, excitedly stepping in front, looking for the lie. God she's so easy.
I suck in a breath, toss the rod behind me to the ground, and hold both my arms out, directly behind her back.
"I don't see it, what did you- WAAAH?!"
"….Ah! What the-?!"
I must've let my intentions reveal themselves a second too early… that's the only explanation I can think of for what happens anyway. Oh, I push Xiangling off the harbor, no worries there. BUT- somehow, in the final second, she's able to get one of her hands on my arm. Even weirdly lacking the strength she had earlier, she does have an even stronger force to assist her- gravity. And this means…
Well, you know what it means, don't you?
*SPLASH*
Now I can at least float, despite not being a diver. You'd be hard pressed to find a Fontaine kid who can't honestly. So when I break surface, coughing up salty cold water, staring at the orange sky of sunrise, looking and feeling very unamused, I hear a lively voice from behind me. Er, behind my head I guess.
"You…"
"Oh Xiangling, I had a feeling you could swi-"
"You… JERK!"
"…Wa-"
"TAKE THIS!"
Suddenly, I'm getting flooded with seawater in a storm of attacks thanks to one furious chef. Ocean water pelts me like hail from all sides, dunking me back below the surface… I come up for air, and whoops, there's another sharp wave crashing directly into my face. And also 20 more blows behind that impact. I've learned that Xiangling is, at the very least, energetic, and I just gave her infinite ammo to shoot me with.
I could've thought this out better.
"Hey! - XIANGLING- S-stop! Stop!" Annnnd I'm dunked again… "Blwah! Stop! S-Sorry! I'm sorry!"
But she doesn't care, hammering the sea over and over again, crushing me with water's power in the process. Though, if it wasn't for our surroundings, she'd probably be actually jumping all over me… so I'll take this. Despite the fact that my lungs ever so gradually fill up with saltwater.
After several minutes, though it feels like half an hour.
"…Haaaah, haah….. Are you done?!"
"Y-Yeah… I think so." Xiangling smirks a bit, then hoists herself up on the dock. As if she barely did anything…. I try my best to follow, through with considerably more effort being spent. I also violently spit into the ocean. My lungs feel like spaghetti.
"I think I swallowed a fish…"
"Good!" The voice behind me eagerly jumps. "You deserve it! Just look at us now; we're soaking wet! AND I have work now! What were you thinking?!"
"I… I wasn't…" I turn around, hands still on my knees, to face Xiangling. "I'm sorry…"
But as I finally regain my normal posture, I see a sight that is all new to me. As there's a growing puddle dripping off Xiangling, she is forced to undo the braids that hold some of her hair up, and well… the extended length makes her look… pretty nice?
"Jeez. I have half a mind to push you back in!"
"Please don't." She very easily could though, that's the scary part.
"Hmph! What do I do now? I can't go back in the restaurant like this…!" Xiangling groans, trying to wipe off the water.
For my part, I'm holding my shirt sleeve open and shaking my arm. "Set a fire again? Get warm that way?"
"Get warm…. That's it! Gouba! Come with me!" Suddenly, she bursts forward, moving across the dock. I have no choice but to follow- but here's when an unfortunate fact that was probably well-known beforehand crops up.
Moving in soaked clothes sucks. It really sucks. My shirt feels more like a weight dragging me down, my hair constantly flops down in front of my eyes, and there is a disgusting squelchy sound that comes from my shoes every time I take a water-filled step. There's no doubt about it: Xiangling and I look like a pair of freaks, ocean dripping behind us every second. The only positive is that Xiangling is clearly affected by these same conditions as well, so I can't lose track of her if I tried.
"Here we are~" She excitedly informs as we're back at Wanmin. I really need to explore more places here. I then proceed to make the biggest mistake of my Liyue trip by following Xiangling in.
"Ah you're back, good good!" Chef Mao spins around. "Now get ready for the-"
He sees his daughter soaked to the skin. And is about to open his mouth- when he sees me, in much the same condition.
"YOU."
"Uhhh….hi?" I stupidly wave. Xiangling gulps.
"GET OUT."
"Wait, hold on-"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!"
Why do I find myself getting yelled at by a Mao for the second time in short order? But while Xiangling might have just been a bit mad/disappointed in me- probably because that simpleton only feels the basic emotions- her father is pissed. Oh my god, is he pissed. He immediately rushes to my soaking wet position and basically starts screaming at me, cursing out Fontaine and my appearance alike. The threat of "I'm going to kill you!" is repeated religiously, as if Rex Lapis was the God of Murder, not Contracts. I don't know if you've realized this yet, but I'm not really a confrontational person under normal circumstances. So I kind of can't do anything except take it from the livid father, backing up all the while.
Credit is where credit is due though, Xiangling is trying her best to act as a shield between us. This affords me all the time I need to escape into the Liyue light. Although the continued cries of "Dad! Dad- please stop! Come on dad-!" combined with "Let me at him! Back off honey!" in front of me do put a damper on the accomplishment.
…Looks like the sun will be my only way of drying off now. Sigh…. Why did I push Xiangling again…? Oh well it was funny, I have no regrets. But this morning is becoming seriously draining.
After a few minutes, Xiangling comes out of the restaurant, still soaking but thankfully minus a crazed dad. She looks a bit relieved to see me, but then she starts fidgeting with her fingers.
"Yeeeah, my dad sort of…. banned you for one week…."
"Wait, what? Just one week?! He looked like he was about to rip me apart!" I gasp.
In response, Xiangling pulls her head right next to mine, whispering. "Any longer and you might actually bring this to the Millelith. And, well, there's no proof you did anything bad- plus, I would definitely tell the truth!"
Ah so that's it, Chef Mao is treating me like an annoying teenager- with a punishment just enough to affect me, but not enough so I'd actually do anything about it. And wait- "Should you be telling me this?"
"Are you gonna go to the Millelith~?"
"…No." Yeah, that'd be more trouble than it'd be worth. "Well I guess I'll get food from somewhere then. See you in a week."
"W-Wait!"
"What? You just said I was banned from Wanmin."
"I know, but there's no reason I can't just take your order… outside the restaurant? You'll get your food, and we can still keep talking! What do you think?" I can tell Xiangling doesn't think that will be awkward at all- but damn it if I haven't grown attached to Wanmin's food…
"As long as you can promise that your dad won't kill me."
"I promise!" She confirms quickly, then clenches her fists. "Also, I was wondering… tomorrow is my day off. So I could actually give you a proper tour of Liyue, if you want. I know some very interesting places, it'll be fun!"
Hm, honestly a tour sounds good for two reasons. One, if I'm going to continue with my hypnotizing ways (which I absolutely will do, of freaking course), it'll help to have more places to operate at than just the harbor. But speaking of the harbor… I'm tired of that being the only place I go to. Especially with this new "ban".
"Sure~" I nod my head. "It's a date!"
"Woo-hoo~!" Xiangling extends her arm skyward, happy as can be… before the reminder of her being soaked kicks in via water dripping down from said arm to her 'shirt'. "Oh yeah, give me a sec~" She dashes back into the restaurant, but the way she did that reminds me… I need to check on my pockets.
Ok, the pocketwatch is soaked, but it'll still work fine. The deck of cards I've had since day one though… yeah, those are toast. Ripping, wet, ruined sheets now, and some of them have certainly floated out of my pants and are at the bottom of Liyue's ocean. I sigh for the loss of a trick before tossing the rest in a nearby trash can. Farethewell.
I retrace my steps right at the same time Xiangling arrives again- this time carrying an orange bear with a Pyro symbol on its' stomach.
"Alright Gouba~ Warm us up~" Ah, so this is who she was referring to when I was with Keqing. A bear, why not.
"Piii….." Is this bear glaring at me? Is it giving me attitude?
"I told you Gouba, that wasn't his fault! ….Ok maybe it was, but let's just move on! He's a friend!" Xiangling clearly is trying to persuade her bear to do something, but it seems this strange creature is more like her father than she knew. Which is bad for me.
"What even do you want from this little guy?" I ask, crouching low to get on this 'Gouba's' level. "Did you just want me to look at something cute? Cause if so, that's not very smart of yo- AAAAAAA!"
There are no words to describe this sudden shift. One instant I'm staring at a bear, the next MY FACE FEELS LIKE IT'S ON FIRE. BECAUSE IT IS.
"GOUBA! DON'T DO THAT!" I can vaguely feel the source stop, but that does precisely nothing for the flames already roaring through my hair. Until I hear- "Um! Ah! Ah! G-Got it! Hup!"
…THUD
I can't see.
I can't hear.
But I can feel. The stone ground touching my head, and a girl's body all over my face. As in, both legs across my chin, hands on my scalp, that kind of thing.
"…Xiangling?"
"…Yes?"
"Did you really have nothing else you could think of?"
"S-Sorry. But you were on fire and I was…'on water'? I guess. So…"
"…Xiangling?"
"…Yes?"
"Please get off…I don't think I'm burning anymore."
"R-Right."
The next five seconds of Xiangling doing just that and helping me up confirm one very important thing: Her father wasn't watching- otherwise I'm pretty sure even Xiangling couldn't stop him.
"Sorry about that… I don't know why Gouba acted that way." She shoots the villain of this story- who has moved about five feet away- a glare. Gouba just visibly chuckles in response. This damn bear.
Xiangling sighs, defeated. "I've gotta get back to work. …A-Are we still on for tomorrow…?"
…Archons above, I swear. The practical reasons mentioned already make my answer unchanging- but why do I get like this when I see Xiangling even somewhat disappointed? She's annoying, simple-minded, and her "friend" just betrayed her to teach me a lesson.
I'm a victim of my own words… 'We all crave companionship' huh?
"Sure, I'll see you bright and early here."
"Excellent~" She cheers, before bidding me farewell via a wave. Of course Gouba glares at me as he follows… dumbass.
I guess I have something to do tomorrow though, so that's a plus. But despite it being nowhere near the end of the day, I am incredibly tired already. Time to go to the hotel and rest…
Wait. I'm still soaked to the bone.