It's Christmas, so don't sue my ass.

"talking"

'"device talking"'

'thinking'

!game alerts!

(translation)

Chapter 18

Four days later:

The days passed uneventfully, I mostly just mocked Master Roshi for his perviness and occasionally went back to the city near my home to terror-I mean prank them. It brought me great joy to relive a part of my old life, especially as they seemed to remember me...

Flashback: The day before:

I floated over the small city, looking for Amy first vic- I mean target for entertainment, when a very girly scream roared down the avenue I floated over. Looking to my left, I surprisingly find a tall black man cowering behind a trash can.

Man: Oh God he's back! Everyone run and hide! Loki is back!

The man had no time to run however as I appeared in front of him and materialized a pie and smashed it in his face with careful control to not injure him, but to make him fall on his ass all the same. I begin to fly away to my next victim and laugh as I hear him say.

Man: What the fuck! What is in this pie it smells horrible and tastes like shit... oh fuck it is shit!

I laugh and declare war upon the town once again.

Present:

Today I am headed to Capsule Corporation as I felt Master Roshi leave his home in a hurry while I was out pranking people so likely the Namek arc is about to come to a close.

After flying for a few minutes from my home at a leisurely pace I found myself in West City, and soon after floating above the iconic yellow buildings of Capsule Corporation.

Me: 'This place is where this story all started. To think this world was saved over a dozen times just because a spoiled rich brat wanted a boyfriend and decided that instead of looking for one in person she crossed the globe to wish for one'

I descend to the ground and go to walk to the front door when suddenly I hear a commotion coming from the door to my left and shortly after I see a woman in a purple dress dragging Roshi a pig and a man in a lab coat. The woman also seemed to be covered in many many guns. This crazy bitch was Chi Chi.

Roshi: "Ch Chi! Are you Crazy?! How do you expect to fly a space ship, land on Namek and kill someone that is stronger than Goku and Gohan are now! Don't you remember that Goku beat the Red Ribbon Army when he was a kid, what do you expect to do against beings thousands of times stronger than goku was when he used to throw tanks! It's insane!"

Looking over and seeing me and yells.

Roshi: "Hey Namek, stop this crazy woman for us!"

With a grunt of annoyance I walk over and pick up Chi Chi by the back of her dress like one picks up a puppy by the scruff of their neck. She kicks and yells about her baby Gohan and how it's unfair before crying hysterically as Chi Chi tends to do.

I set her down and she falls to the ground in a heap and continues to cry as I turn her guns into bubbles with alteration that float away or pop.

Me: Calm down woman, I am sure your Husband and overgrown sperm will be fine. Let's go inside and wait to hear from them.

Chi Chi: "And how would you know?! You are just another one of those monsters like Piccolo!"

Mr: Briefs: "I also would like to know who you are and how you know what the current situation is"

Me: "I know because I am a friend of the guardian of earth and so I have kept an eye on the protectors of this planet as a favour to him"

Chi Chi suddenly stops crying and gets in my face and screams with spittle flying everywhere.

Chi Chi: "Where were you a year and a half ago?! Or a half year ago when we were almost wiped out by those aliens?!"

Wiping my face off I say.

Me: "Not my planet, not my problem"

This only seems to enrage her more but before things can go any further I turn to Dr. Briefs and say.

Me: "My name is Zanfona. Now, shall we go back inside? I don't think there will be much time until they will be returning from Namek"

Deciding to follow my lead, Dr. Briefs walks us all back to a living room in the home. Not much was said for a while and Chi Chi seemed content simply giving me the stink eye for the rest of the evening. After a few minutes there was a ringing coming from Dr. Briefs pocket, which he promptly had him reach into his pocket and produce a cell phone. Answering the call he says.

Dr. Briefs: "Hello? Bulma?! How are you calling me from a normal phone?! You are on earth? I am on my way, I will track your location through the call, stay on the line!"

He looks at me and says.

Dr. Briefs: "You were right, we need to go now, are you coming with us?

Shrugging I nod in agreement and they race outside with me walking slowly, trailing just behind them and Dr. Briefs produces a capsule and throws it in the lawn and a cargo plane appears with a poof. We all get on the ship and take a seat and we fly to the location the cell phone signal comes from.

Twenty minutes later:

it didn't take long for us to arrive at the field in which the signal came from. In the field sat many namekians, with Guru, Bulma, Gohan and Piccolo in the middle and vegeta on the outskirts sulking.

Dr. Briefs lands the plane at the edge of the field and Chi Chi blitzed out of the plane at speeds that surpass what she should be capable of at her strength level. Bulma runs up and hugs her father and Roshi stands back at a distance and watches the reunion with Oolong. I walk up to Piccolo, deciding to introduce myself to the second strongest Namekian of universe 7.

Me: "Hey, you are the guy that fought in the 23rd martial arts tournament 6 years ago, you have gotten a lot stronger since then"

Seemingly startled by me recognizing him from his first years on earth, he gave me a side glance and said.

Piccolo: "I don't know how you know about that, as there were no other Namekians on earth besides me and Kami before today"

Me: "And that's where you are wrong, I have been on this planet for nearly a decade already, I figured you'd have learned that from Kami by now as he has known for years now"

Piccolo: "Ok, let's say I believe that, and where were you the day of the tournament that you were able to see the tournament, you would have stuck out like a sore thumb"

Me: "... yeah I know... which is why I wore a hood and mask and sat in the back after sneaking in to not stick out like a total novice"

Flushing in embarrassment for not thinking of that, Piccolo changes the subject.

Piccolo: "So what do you want?"

Me: "Well I was curious how the second strongest Namekian got so strong"

He raises his eyebrow and goes to question why I said second but I never gave him the chance and powered up to 10% of my current maximum which smothered the Ki of everyone present for a split second before I let it fall back down to my resting state of around 10,000. Piccolo seemed to be especially shocked as he looked at me with amazement and recognition.

Piccolo: "For some reason you are familiar"

Guru speaks up from nearby and says.

Guru: "That would make sense, Zanfona met Nail and I nearly four years ago and so with you having assimilated Nail, you have his memories."

Nodding in understanding, piccolo says.

Piccolo: "Well as for how I got so strong, that is from absorbing nail after having trained with a god, the real question should be however is how is it I did all I did and yet you outclass me so easily"

I shrug and simply say.

I am just better at training I guess. Only way you will find out is by training harder than me and beating the answer out of me. This gets a laugh out of Guru however that laugh ends with a coughing fit.

Guru: "It seems my time in the land of the living is over. Moori, Zanfona, please come here, I have a gift for the both of you before I pass on"

We both walk in front of the Giant man and he places his hands on our heads before then glow a moment. Moor I'd glows yellow, and mine whitish blue.

Guru: "There, Moori, the dragon balls now belong to you, I know they are in good hands under your guidance. And for you Zanfona, you have my two techniques I have created. One of the body and one of the mind.

!Alert! Techniques unlocked through third party action! Hidden potential unlock and mind reading unlocked!

!Hidden potential unlock: by placing you hand on the head of a warrior, you unlock their hidden gifts!

!Mind reading! If you place you hand on someone's head, you can see their memories!

So lost in my own thoughts and being overwhelmed by all the new information I just learned all at once I missed as Guru's body faded into nothingness. Many minutes went by as the other Namekians mourned his death.

Moments later, the dragonballs crash into the ground with a thud.

Me: 'Damn those things travel fast, they left Namek only a few minutes ago and they are already back on earth!'

I am broken from my thoughts at the sound of an egotistical laugh coming from the edge of the group and look to see it is none other than Vegeta. He sits up and vanishes in everyone's eyes besides myself and maybe Piccolo and Gohan. He reappears again in the middle of doing summersaults a few times and lands gracefully on his feet. He strides forward towards Gohan, a giddy grin on his face and says.

Vegeta: "I told you didn't I? It looks my prophecy has come to pass after all. I'm number one now guys, so get used to it. It was nice of your dad kid, getting rid of Frieza like that for me. What a guy, he served his purpose.

Gohan: "Jerk, you're nothing compared to him. He spared your life twice"

Vegeta: "He shouldn't have been so soft the, should he?"

Vegeta leans down to Gohan's level and says.

Vegeta: "Which leads me to the question of what to do with his son. Destroy him now so he doesn't destroy me someday?"

Vegeta sits back up straight and gives a grin while side eyeing Gohan.

Vegeta: "Don't sweat it kiddo you're the only sayian left besides me. That makes you a very important young man. We're the last survivors of an ancient race. Besides I need someone like you to polish my boots and call me Lord Vegeta!

As vegeta says this he taunts Gohan by poking him in the forehead with a chuckle. Gohan, rather fed up with Vegeta, slaps his hand away and says.

Gohan: "My dad will be back you watch!"

Hearing this only caused Vegeta's chuckle to become a full blown laugh.

Vegeta: "Your dad is history kid!"

This seems to have been the last straw for the universes strongest toddler as Gohan rushes Vegeta, though all he gets for the attempt is a knee to the gut. Gohan rolls away from Vegeta as Vegeta watches from a side glance with a proud smirk on his face. This seems to have been too much for Bulma to see as yells from beside piccolo and I.

Bulma: "Hey! Leave him alone jerk!"

Piccolo puts a hand on her shoulder and I mutter.

Me: "He literally started it, it's his fault he can't handle his emotions and control himself"

Piccolo gives me a bit of stink eye for my comment but understands I'm not incorrect on it so says nothing.

Vegeta: "Are you challenging me kid? I wouldn't recommend it.it's your call. Go ahead.

Gohan stands up and gets in a shitty boxer stance and with a constipated look says.

Gohan: "My dad will take care of you. And he will be back.

Gohan then rushes Vegeta. I almost face palm from what I just saw.

Me: 'Gohan is such a daddies girl. And what is that stance! Bro looks like he is going to shit himself and thinks he looks intimidating'

Vegeta avoids Gohan by placing his hand on his head and jumping over him. Vegeta lands a distance away and Gohan meets him on the ground and comes at him once again with a right hook. However Vegeta for all his ego is an experienced fighter and catches it and the following barrage of punches thrown his way. Feeling confident Vegeta goes for a strike but like an idiot takes a strike to the face from a cross jab and a kick to the stomach. Next to land is a headbutt and lastly a kick to the jaw sends vegeta on his ass.

This time I did facepalm.

Me: 'Vegeta you fuckin idiot did you think he would see you going for a strike and stop and be like oh it's his turn now? Dumbass if you can't slip a strike in then get some distance to out reach him he is literally a toddler!'

Vegeta, clearly embarrassed and in pain gets up and tries to save face and says.

Vegeta: "Alright kid, that does it.If you want to challenge the prince of all sayians you can! But I promise this fight will be your last!"

Vegeta suddenly flies into the air and Gohan follows soon after.

Vegeta: "You're making a big mistake"

Gohan, uncaring of what Vegeta has to say, nor it's validity, charges at vegeta with a yell. Just as he gets within striking range of vegeta, he seems to hit a wall of Ki that disperses as he hits it. Like a snake Vegeta strikes gohan with his knee just at the right moment before elbowing Gohan in the back of the head sending him flying.

As I watch this I can't help but wonder if that barrier is what inspired the one Vegito will use in a couple decades.

Vegeta flies in front of the direction Gohan was smacked in, grabs him by his hair and says.

Vegeta: "Where do you think you're going, hmm?"

Vegeta then proceeds to beat Gohan's face in with right hook after right hook as well as attempting to destroy all of his internal organs with multiple nasty knees to the gut.

Bulma: "Oh no! Gohan's in serious trouble!"

Dende: "Oh no!"

Vegeta beats Gohan's face in a bit more before finally deciding to blast him into the ground which causes Bulma to squeal like a banshee. Gohan lay unconscious in a crater made from his landing. Vegeta lands on the ground and says.

Vegeta: "Pity, what a waste of talent. Bye"

Vegeta goes to charge a Ki blast and piccolo goes to move to stop him. However I beat him to it and with only 3% of my power I appear behind Vegeta and crush the Ki ball in his hand effortlessly which terrified him into stopping any further action

After that things settle down and everyone gets ready to leave. The Namekian and Vegeta go with the Briefs family and Gohan and Chi Chi go to the Son home in the mountains. When it is just me and piccolo. I turn to him and we both say at the same time.

Me/Piccolo: "FIGHT ME!"

Annnd that's another chapter. I meant to have it done by Christmas but frankly Chi Chi is such a shit character I can't tell if I am bashing her or not. She is just so delusional and crazy even when she is a kid in the first season.

Anywys lemme know if you like it and merry Christmas 3 days ago!