AN: Okay everyone, so I've reached a decision. This story DOES take place in the Super Koopalings canon. Obviously, it would happen before the peace treaty, as well as a lot of other events that occur in the series itself. But yeah, this is canon, and will feature some of the original characters from the series. Who exactly? Well, you'll find out in due time.

Anyway, let's get right into this.

Chapter 5 Post Battle Blues

Bowser didn't move for what felt like the better part of eternity. The first things that were brought to his attention when he woke up were his burns. They stung, stung like mad. Sure, they weren't serious, as Koopa skin was definitely very tough and resilient. More than likely, Bowser would heal well enough to where he didn't even need to worry about any sort of scars. But even still, they stung. They stung almost as bad as his defeat from less than twenty minutes prior.

Oh, the defeat. The bitter, salty, embarrassing defeat. Bowser turned his head, hoping that he could still see Peach hanging out in her birdcage. Alas, she was not there. Sure, Bowser hadn't really expected her to be there, but… oh, it still hurt. It hurt even worse then the burns, mostly because that sight would leave scars. Sure, they were mental scars instead of physical scars, but that mattered very little in the Koopa King's eyes. Actually, that wasn't true; he would be feeling bad about this defeat for probably the better part of the next week.

Bowser shook his head, finally deciding to sit up. He bit his lip and rubbed his burns, an action that he didn't regret despite the pain. He tried to rise to his feet, but he stumbled and wobbled when he did. He groaned, putting his hand to his head. He felt like he had vertigo. The world seemed to be spinning, taking him on the worst type of merry-go-round that life had to offer. Even when he stood still, the world just rocked back and forth, back and forth.

Why couldn't he win? Why couldn't he win just once? It would certainly save him the headache, as well as the other forms of pain. But no, he just had to be on the losing side. He had to suffer defeat at the hands of that pesky, ugly, annoying plumber. Ohhh, Mario. Mario, Mario, (which was probably what his full name was). Why art thou so hard to hit? Why art thou so swift and nimble? Why art thou strong enough to beat the best, most awesome, most handsome Koopa King in the history of Koopa Kings?

Bowser shook his head, an action that only made his vertigo worse. Trying his best to not collapse to the ground, he made his way out of the throne room. He wandered around the castle, trying his best to not dwell on his defeat. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it! It wasn't. Fucking. WORTH IT!

"Master Bowser?"

Bowser came to a halt, starting to feel a little bit annoyed as Kamek walked over to him. Oh man. The only thing that he thought was worse than suffering a defeat at the hands of Mario… was having to tell his family about his defeat at the hands of Mario. As frequent as that event had become over the past few years, it never got easier. It still embarrassed him that he… King Bowser Koopa!… lost to such a puny little human. It never got easier, and it never got pleasant. Just the prospect made his shame gland produce more shame than his brain knew what to reasonably do with.

"I don't want to talk about it, Kamek."

Kamek chuckled. "If I had a coin for every time you said that…" he walked up and patted Bowser's big, meaty arm, doing so in such a comforting way that it actually helped with his vertigo. Seriously, it was such a sweet thing for Kamek to do, especially when Bowser considered how his own father would've refused to do such a thing when he was alive. Bowser took deep breaths as Kamek patted him, even letting out little, cat-like purrs. Kamek smiled at the sound of this, which only made both the patting and the purring a lot more frequent.

"There you go," Kamek said. "That should help you feel better." He stopped patting Bowser's arm (damn it, it always seemed to end too soon), and walked to stand in front of the Koopa King. This allowed Bowser to see Kamek's furrowed brow, as well as a frown that only made Bowser feel worse than he already did.

"It's okay, your highness," he said, using a formality because Bowser didn't typically feel in the mood for closeness after such a defeat (the patting was an obvious exception). "Really, it is. Nobody holds anything against you because of this. Everything is just fine."

Bowser sniffed. Those words, while so familiar that it kind of felt like Kamek was reading off a script, didn't do anything to comfort him. Again, the event was too embarrassing, the shame too real. This was especially true given how special this particular kidnapping was supposed to be. He had been planning it for months, going out of his way to construct the perfect brimstone necklace for the most special girl on the planet, Because of this, the failure to find success in the end felt just a tad bit worse than it usually did.

"Everything is not fine," Bowser said, which ultimately deviated from the "script." Usually, Bowser would accept the words of his surrogate father and would let them serve as a source of comfort as well as the fuel for an ego boost. But this time, that didn't happen. Call it bitterness, call it more extreme circumstances, but Bowser didn't accept Kamek's words this time around.

This was a fact that surprised Kamek, as he noticeably did a double take. His jaw dropped a little as he looked into Bowser's face. Bowser stared back at him, giving him a look that he hoped conveyed all the hurt and humiliation that was stewing in his heart of hearts.

Eventually, Kamek sighed and held out his hand. "Bowser, walk with me."

Bowser almost objected to this, almost said that he wished to go to bed and sleep this horrible day away instead of walking around the castle. However… he didn't. Honestly, Kamek was probably the only person in the entire world Bowser would let boss him around like this. He was the only person who Bowser was willing to obey; in fact, Bowser often felt pretty guilty whenever he didn't choose to obey. So, despite himself, he took hold of Kamek's hand.

The walk was spent in silence, which Bowser found to be a good thing more than anything else. Sure, there was something heavy about the silence, especially seeing how no talking meant more thinking on Bowser's part. But at the same time, it was peaceful, invigorating. It was just what the doctor ordered, just what Bowser needed to help his heart feel significantly less heavy. By the time that he and Kamek got to the courtyard, covered in emerald green grass, Bowser actually felt marginally better. This was especially true when the two of them sat down on the bench, looking at the flowers that didn't grow anywhere else in this ashy, blackened kingdom.

And then, Kamek had to ruin it all by opening his big, fat mouth. "I imagine that you don't feel particularly happy about this."

"HA!" Bowser guffawed. "What gave it away?" He looked down at a pink rose just beside the bench, one the same color as Princess Peach's usual gown. He almost considered ripping it up from the roots right then and there.

Kamek sighed. "Look… I…" he hesitated, probably struggling over what was the appropriate thing to say. It was no secret that Kamek wasn't the biggest fan of the kidnapping mission routine Bowser had established for himself, but he never said that to Bowser's face. At least, not directly; he usually disguised it with fancy words and statements that showed genuine concern for the Koopa King.

"I think…" Kamek cleared his throat. "I think, for the sake of your sanity, that maybe we should let this go." Bowser glared at him. "At least, for a phase. Like, maybe take a break from kidnapping; a vacation, of sorts." He smiled. "We could go back to Isle Delfino; I'm sure your kids would love to experience such a place."

Bowser frowned. "No, Kamek. I don't want a vacation." He grit his teeth, smoke coming out of the corners of his mouth. "I want Peach! I want her all to myself!" He looked down into his hand, at the brimstone necklace that she had denied. He noticed a smidge of blood on it, now doubt his from the mighty beating the Mario brothers gave to him. The sight of this made him growl. "I can't stand the Marios! They always foil my plans; always!" He glared down at Kamek. "It should be easy! I'm bigger and stronger! I should be able to beat them! I should be able to get Peach all fro myself!" He shook his head. "It should be easy. And yet, it never is." His shoulders slumped. "It never is…"

Kamek nodded. He put his hand onto Bowser's knee, patting it a little bit. Unlike the patting of the arm from before, this didn't do a good job at helping Bowser feel better. It didn't even work a little bit.

"I know it's frustrating," Kamek said. "I know that you have had your heart set on Peach for a while." He bit his lip. "I also saw how much time you put into the brimstone necklace. I can… I can imagine her rejecting it wasn't… pleasant." Bowser growled when that was said. Even though it wasn't directed toward Kamek himself, the magikoopa still decided to change tune a little bit. "But… I'm sure you'll succeed in the end!"

Bowser almost laughed at that. Any confidence that those words contained was faked and force beyond belief. He knew Kamek didn't really believe that. Heck, he himself had trouble believing that.

"I might be able to succeed," he said, directing his face toward the ground, "if it wasn't for Mario." He snarled. "I wish there was a way to show him what it's like. I wish he knew my pain, how it feels to constantly be rejected by who you love. I wish he knew what it's like to be labeled as a monster when you're anything but. I wish…" He grit his teeth. "I wish he knew what it was like to be a koopa."

There was silence after that statement, a very uncomfortable one. Kamek fidgeted with his wand, refusing to look Bowser in the eye. After a little bit, Bowser decided that he had enough. He almost stood up, going up to his room in order to take that nap he so desperately wanted…

Until he actually stopped and thought critically about the words he said. Hmm… What had started out as spitballing and venting his frustrations now seemed… hauntingly appealing. How amazing would it be, if Mario… Mario himself… knew the pain of being a Koopa? Knew how hard it was to see everyone scream at you. Knew how awful it was to be rejected by a majority of the world, to be cast to the sidelines of society just because of your scaly, reptilian butt. Knew what it was like to not be loved, least of all by Princess Peach.

It was an interesting idea. Heck, it was more than an interesting idea! It grew more and more appealing the more time Bowser actually considered it. He wanted it to happen; he wanted it to happen so badly that he could taste it (and boy, did it taste good!). And fortunately for him, there was one person in his general vicinity who could make it happen.

With a smile on his face, he looked back at his advisor. "Kamek?"

Kamek looked a little jumpy. "What, sire?"

Bowser's smile turned into a grin. "Can you turn Mario into a koopa for me, please?"

Kamek blinked, looking at Bowser like he had just sprouted a second head. "Um…what?"

"It's perfect!" Bowser exclaimed. He puffed out his chest. "It's the perfect idea! There isn't a single thing that could happen to Mario that would be more satisfying to watch than that!" He chuckled. "If he's a koopa, he won' be welcomed in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore. He'll be spit at and jeered at, just like you and me." Something else occurred to him, something that made his spirits rise to even higher heights. "And, if he's a koopa, he won't be able to fight back against me when I kidnap Peach! He'll be too busy dealing with all the mockery to even have the chance!" He laughed, clapping his hands together in a fast rhythm. "Oh Mama, it's perfect! I don't think anyone in the history of ever has ever had such a brilliant idea!"

Kamek didn't respond to that. He just stared at Bowser, his jaw dropped. After a while, he took his glasses off and pinched his brow.

"Bowser…" he shook his head. "That requires a lot, and I do mean a lot of magic."

"So?" Bowser asked. "You're the most powerful magikoopa in the kingdom. You're more than capable of doing that."

Kamek groaned. "Yes, but… is it really worth it?" He looked up at Bowser with a frown. "I know beating Mario and winning Peach's heart is your ultimate life goal, but should you really do it in this fashion? Would it really look good on your part if you turn Peach's knight in shining armor into a monster like us? How do you think the Princess would look at you if you did something like that?" He leaned closer to Bowser. "Really think about this, Bowser!"

Bowser laughed. "I did really think about it Kamek! And it is a GREAT idea. No, better than great; it's straight-up awesome!" He leaned closer to the magikoopa. "Please do it, Kamek!" He leaned closer and closer. "Please please please?"

Kamek still gawked, with so many unpleasant emotions brewing in his eyes. Eventually, though, he sighed.

"Alright. But I'm only doing it because you're the king. I can't ignore a direct order from the king." He turned away. "No matter how idiotic the order is," he muttered under his breath.

Bowser did a fist pump.