Burt sat on the Couch going through test Papiers and criticizing Jerrys taste, summer was texting. "Collecting coins, I did that." He said as jerry stopped changing the channels.
Jerry looked suprised. "Realy?" he spoke hapily maybe he had something in common with his brother in law.
"To throw them at cars that drove under a bridge, Jerry don't get your hopes up." They then saw snuffles come to them which burt thought was a stupid Name for a snow White dog.
"What?" Jerry asked the dog looking at him, burt wanted to comment but he thought it would be funnier to see Jerry fail at getting a dog outside. "What? Why are you looking at me? You want to go outside?" Jerry stood up and opened the door" Outside?" Jerry looked at the dog and burt let out a smirk as snuffles peed on the floor.
"Are you kidding me?! Come on!"
"Ewww!"
"Good Job, snuffles you punished them for giving you an unfitting Name."
"What's wrong?" Morty came most likely Hearing his angry dad.
"Your idiot dog!" He pointed at the pee stain. Burt just chuckled thinking it was funny that an idiot calls something smarter then him an idiot.
"Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, snuffles? You're a good Boy." Morty told snuffles Petting him and making Baby noises.
"Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad!" Jerry grabbed snuffels and pushed his head on to the carpet. Burt responded with a gun to jerry's face.
"Jerry sit down let the dog go." Jerry gulped and let go, second later burt threw a disk at the pee stain which turned to foam and latly disapeard. "There happy?" Jerry stayed silent as rick came into the room.
"Morty, come on. I need your help tonight." He said taking morties arm and looked at burt. "We're just going to a few blocks. Come on, Morty." He didn't care.
Jerry stood up. "Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?" Burt raised a brow at that.
Rick rolled his eyes looking at his son to take this which was light shake of his head. "I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread."
Jerry decided to put his foot down for once. "Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or Morty's grounded!" Burt sighed remembering reason why he didn't Show his smart much: Because some moron always want stuff.
Summer just laughed and morty complained.
"Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry." He said Walking a few sounds of a drill is heard and he Comes back. "Here I modified to work on dog, why do have this burt?"
"So the annoying students can pass their grade and I don't have to see their faces anymore."
Rick placed the helmet on snuffles. "All right, Ruffles What's his Name?"
Morty corrected him. "Snuffles."
"Snuffles, shake." The dog did as told. "Roll over." he rolled over. "Go to the bath room." And snuffles went to bathroom took a shit and came back.
"Holly crap!" Jerry said.
"No way!" Summer said amazed at the dog.
Burt saw this and said. "So his basically Jerry?"
"hey" Jerry said.
"Good one, morty lets go."
Burt leaves and Comes back to the living room with the Family being impressed by the dog.
Jerry told snuffles "Now bring me my slippers." He did as told and burt was already imagining how wrong this could go.
Summer told "now, be my footstool, Snuffles." the dog let summer put her feet on snuffles.
Jerry looked happy "This is what I'm talking about. This is a dog." He said which caused burt to roll his eyes.
Beth "Oh, yeah. This should play out just fine." Burt nodded with a hint of pride for his sister not being impressed with this.
Jerry "You said the same thing, equally sarcastically, at our wedding and guess what?" Everyone stay silent, Jerry slowly fades into depression and beth leaves.
"Jerry, I said that and I was way more sarcastic." He said chuckling to himself.
"Ooowwwwowowwaawaa!" Burt looked at snuffles and already knew what was happening.
Summer looked taking out phone. "Oh, my God! He's trying to tell us something." She started taking a Video of the dog. "That is so awesome."
Snuffles continued trying to speak but it wasn't working "Aaaawwaaaaawaawa!"
Jerry made his own assumption"Aw, he's saying "I love lasagna"."
"That's garfield dumbass." Jerry rolled his eyes.
Snuffles: Ooooyayawawa!
Summer kept taking the video. "He's saying "I love Obama". So cute! I'm posting this online, like, right now."
Jerry stoop up "I should call Bob Saget. Is that still a thing?" both Smiths left the room and left burt and snuffles. Snuffles looked at the reflection of himself and started touching the helmet and opened the battry case.
Snuffles "Hmm?" Snuffles asked himself looking at through the window and went to the kitchen opening a drawer, with a bag of batteries.
Burt look at the dog smiled. "I Need to correct myself, you're smarter then, Jerry" He said opening the bag and adding a few more batteries to the helmet. "You're good dog aren't you?" He then gave the dog a pen and papier. "Draw up something." He drew a robotic arm and burt looked bored.
"Ok, see this as a treat." burt went to the attic and pulled a few parts until his phone Alarm went off saying morties heart rate rose. "Morty you're on earth! the most boring rock in the galaxy." He said before finishing the robot arm.
Burt placed it on snuffles and it on. "Good, I gave you some Independence, don't stab me in the back." He said leaving the dog to his own devices.
He sat on the Couch with summer channel Surfing, then snuffles came in scaring the other two People in the room. "Snuffles fix. Make better. Humans understand snuffles now?" Burt was impressed.
"Wow, a interspecies translator? I made the same thing for my dog when I was 12, then some jerk shot her." Burt said looking st snuffles.
"That's awesome!" summer said taking her phone out.
"Snuffles want to be understood. Snuffles need to be understood." Burt nodded Price of sentience.
"Okay, yeah. I get what Beth was talking about. Fun's over." He stood up about to remove the helmet.
His daughter stopped him however "Whoa, dad, you can't, like, endow a creature with sentience and then rip it away."
Jerry looked at summer. "Why not?"
Summer answered with "I don't know. It's Indian giving." Which made burt pin a not in his brain saying: Summer smarter then Jerry dumber then morty.
Snuffles tries to take the remote from burt. "What do we say?" He asked the dog.
"Please." Burt let go and snuffles jump on to the Couch, changing the channel.
The narrator. "A sophisticated predator, nature's perfect killing machine, the vicious wolf stalks its prey with purpose and skill. It was only with years of selective breeding and genetic altering that this noble beast was transformed into man's subservient little buddy." Burt looked at snuffles worried.
"Aw! Oh, my God! He recognizes the other dogs on TV." Burt facepalmed at the statement.
That evening burt came down to the fridge to have a late night snack to see snuffles and multiple other Dogs. "I don't just don't care, scare the Family I'm getting myself a Snack." One of them grabbed his shoulder. "Fine just put a leash on me, I won't fight or some other shit." He said the next Moment he had leash on sat next to a Cage where the rest of the Smiths were.
Jerry spoke cowardly. "Snuffles, we didn't mean you any harm! This is a huge misunderstanding!"
Burt laughed. "How is cutting his balls off a misunderstanding?" Beth glared at her brother which shut him up.
"Dad, he wants to be called snowball." Summer said correcting her father.
"Well, I'm not calling him that. That's ridiculous."
Snowball came to The Cage. "You're being very aggressive, Jerry. Perhaps tomorrow Dr. Scraps will solve that problem with a bit of surgery." nother dog comes out with a pair of scissors
Jerry smirked. "Huh! You think you can control me with a haircut?" Burt face palmed.
"Please do it now! we don't more of him in the genepool." Burt begged the dog with scissors, He got ball to Play with.
Beth looked at his brother. "How could you betray the human race?!" He caught the ball, stopped for a few minutes and continued. "Burt!"
He sighed. "Because it doesn't matter! Either I or dad fixes everything and no matter which Jerry gets kicked the balls, if he still has them by the end." He continued with throwing the ball at the wall and catch until, one of them got annoyed and brought them outside except for burt who wasn't wearing a chain.
Summer, beth and Jerry sat on the grass while burt was kicking the ball into the air. "I can't believe snuffles turned so mean after turning smart, this is why I only get Cs" burt turned his phone on to see where his dad and morty where. "You got to Keep your phone?! Unfair!" Summer said and beth looked at her brother.
"Wait, call dad!"
"No they are comming from that bush." He pointed, rick and morty came out.
"Dad!"
"Rick!"
Summer get freed and hugs morty. "Oh, thank God, Morty."
Morty Awkwardly gets out of the hug. "Oh, you're welcome."
Rick took Control. "All right, let's get out of here. If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over."
Burt smiled. "I know a great tunnel roomy and only smells like piss."
Jerry took stood and spoke "Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it."
"Well it's on, Beths name." Burt said.
Rick continued "It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?" Rick said reminding everyone how this started.
Jerrys eyes widened "Wait a minute. I have an idea." He said Walking into the house.
Burt rolled his eyes. "Ok, I'm gonna go to the sewers while Jerry gets shot or castrated"
Beth grabbed him. pulling him to the house and only to see Jerry having his face pushed into the carpet."
"Jerry, I never believed in you." He told Jerry.
Snuffles looked at morty. "Bring the boy to me. You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side." He then looked at burt. "Burt, you stopped Jerry and helped me to Reach such heights as such, you will Keep your testicals and teach morty all your Knowledge."
Morty "Th-thanks, snuffles." He told snuffles and burt sighed with relief.
Snuffles "Begin phase two!" He told the other Dogs.
The dog war began with the fall of all world goverment and the castration of mankind humanity was now subservient to the lord emperor dog snowball!
Burt sat on a lawn chair drinking a bloody marry. "Again fido, this a great bloody Mary!" The dog nodded panting. "Get morty a banana smothie he earned it." He told the dog and the dog left rick came out of a bush. "Oh hey dad, how is this dream treating you?"
"Shit, had to leave in the sewers." He said taking his fake dog nose off. "How did you know?"
"Nobody has used nukes and there wasn't any large scale bombing to get rid of the intelligent dogs." Rick just stared at him blankly. "Third door left, follow the dog with the smoothie."
"Thanks son!" He ran away and burt drank his bloody marry. Next few weeks were followed by him reviving morty from his kidney failures. "This looks bad emperor snowball, it's gonna be another operation." Rick in a dog costume.
"Anything for my morty!" Snuffles said to rick and sniffed wiping a tear away."
Another dog came with a board. "Sir, as your financial advisor i can't recommend these expenses. You will lose your kingdom."
"What good is my empire, if I can't save my morty?" Snowball said petting morties head.
"Do you think they would have done the same for us?" The accounted said.
"We're not them!" Snow yelled and then had a realization. "We're not them."
The cute doggy jumps up looking around finally understanding it was a dream. "Call my forces, I have decided to take a diffrent path." The next moment they were next to a animal shelter with a line of dogs jumping into a portal. "Did you plan this?" burt shrugged.
He walked to jerry and beth. "Why is he crying?"
Beth answered. "This reminds him of old yeller." Burt rolled his eyes.
"Jerry, I experienced old yeller, had to shot my dog. That's why I pointed a gun at you for pushing snuffles head on to the carpet, did you like it when they did it to you?" He shakes his head. "Good, you learned your lesson." Beht brows rised.
"Wait did you-"
"No, but jerry learned his lesson and I'm happy with that! Crotch shot!" He punched jerry in the baby make.
authors note: Anyone else annoyed by how fast rick made the smart dog helmet? it was two screws and done! So I added something bite me!