The less shitty half of rick! Chapter 7 no second hand sex robots, a rick and morty fanfic

Burt was in the garage Playing his keytar. He watched the door open and his old car/space ship enter. "What's for breakfast?" Rick as morty "toy" followed him. "Yea, he got that. He thought it looked cool." Burt sighed getting ear muffs.

He ate breakfast not hearing the squeaking before he got pulled by his dad into Morty's bed room about to punch rick if he started undressing. "Oh a sex ball." Morty and Rick looked at Burt. "I have been around, spring break is a great time to sleep with aliens and robots. But you better catch before it explodes."

Rick jumped on top. "Come on you little!" Summer and the rest of the smiths came into the room.

"Ok this is unacceptable! oh." She said seeing rick on the ball.

"What is going on?" Jerry asked seeing the flying ball.

Rich fell off the ball and now started flying around and dropped a baby alien in Morty's arms. "All right, Uh-oh,"

Beth was shocked ""Uh-oh"? What is that?!"

Rick turned it off screw driver. "Hmm, I think Morty's robot was designed for more than long weekends," He looked at the inner mechanism "Genetic compiler, incubation chamber, Yep, This here's some kind of baby maker, and that there's half Morty, half." He Burped. "Who - who knows wh-what?"

Rick sighed. "Burt do the thing." Said person got a plasma gun and prepared to shoot.

Everyone of the smiths except rick block. "Wo no! No! Burt no!" There was mix of that.

Beth was the first speak after yelling ended. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Oh come on! You guys quarantined the house after summer brought olives from mexico and your threw away my mezcal!" Burt said still angry about the bottle he never got to open.

Rick took over. "I mean, this thing could grow to the size of Delaware, I mean, it might eat brains and exhale space aids, We got to be careful," Burt Nodded putting his gun away, because he knew they wouldn't let him kill the alien.

Morty came closer. "I lost chance to be careful rick, I'm a father now! You know, It's time to be responsible. Isn't that right-" Rick yelled.

"Don't name it."

"Morty junior." Morty Burt face palming at the originality.

"Oh crap he named it." Rick said giving a frustrated look into the wall.

"Well dad it's a living thing, and it's half human." Beth argued. While Morty and Jerry looked over the new born thing.

Jerry came to add something pointless. "And it was born on american soil, which entitles it—"

Beth placed a hand on Jerry should to stop him wasting time. "Jerry majoring civics was your mistake, don't punish us for it."

Rick groaned as burt carried the sex bot. "Fine I'm gonna take this thing to my work shop and do a little bit of investigating. Do not, let that thing out of your site! It looks harmless now but it can grow into something dangerous,"

Jerry decided to do a reference. "Like the insane clown posse."

Rick looked at him unimpressed. "Yes, good one jerry, 2003 called it wants it's easy target back." Burt left the room rick following him.

Burt had black jump suit on that hid his face with multiple weapons. "Why can't we just poison it? Or i don't know give it a lobotomy." Burt asked while Rick was going through the robots insides and he just ignored Burt even if he agreed with him. "Out"

Summer came in. "Whatcha doing?"

"Well, I can't solve the problem my way, thanks to your family's primitive biological hang-ups, Gross, I might have just touched one of Morty's loads, But maybe I can find suitable parents for Morty Jr, on this robot's home world, which is,,," A hologram showed. "Gazorpazorp in the Andromeda system, - Scoot, Summer," He walked to the the garage door to open a portal.

"Don't you need a new companion, now that Morty is in the family way?" Burt tap her shoulder scaring her. "Aah! Uncle Burt, why do you like a ninja from a bab eighties movie?" He shrugged.

Rick placed the location into the portal gun. "I don't do adventures with chicks summer." He opened the portal.

Summer stood in front Rick. " Oh, right - because there's something about having a wiener that would make me better at walking through a hole?"

"Oh crap." "Shit." Rick followed after to see the ben ten four arms looking nitwits carrying summer away.

"Grampa Rick!" She said as she was carried to a circle of the freaks. "Help! help!" He pleaded before the monsters were shot by rick.

Burt sighed. "Good job playing damsel, summer."

Rick came to to pull her out of the corpse of the kidnapper. "Still think it's a good idea to go through holes without a wiener?" Rick queued.

Summer wined. "I wanna go, home."

Rick said. "Yea duh." A rock broke his portal gun. "Great, Now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs,"

Burt pressed button on a box and threw down as it turned into a machine gun. Took one long breath before the massacre started. after a few minutes they surrendered. Burt let out a long breath. "This is why I go on adventures, Summer."

They set up camp with Burt holding the gun. The snarling beasts brought in the broke part in droves on to get murdered by the masked killer. "Thanks, dum dum." The Gazorpazorp looked at summer about to grab.

Burt showed his gun deep into thing ear hole. "He said thanks, dum dum. Get more." Snarled and left.

Rick got annoyed. " Summer, put your burka on!"

"That bruka is a human rights Violation." Summer said throwing it away.

Rick stood up about to get on a rant, but Burt stopped him and rick went back to repairing the damn thing. "The less we need to worry them going bowser on you, the faster we will get this done, just be ashamed of your gender for a hour and then i will drive you to the mall." She relented put it on.

"what's the deal with this place? Why is it such sauce planet and how did a bunch invent robots?" Burt was about to explain in a way that wouldn't cause a fight but rick beat him to it."

"Rick: Obviously, at some point, the Gazorpians became so evolved that they replaced females with birthing machines, The resultant lack of distraction and hen-pecking allowed them to focus entirely on war, so they bombed themselves back to the stone age, and now they just fight with each other over fake pussy with sticks and rocks all day long," Burt face palmed.

Summer grabbed one of ricks tools. "You think it's efficient to get rid of women?" She glaring at her grandpa.

"Have you ever seen a line to the mens room?" He tood up. "Do you hear me summer?" The ground shacked and they came out a giant head saying.

"Lock and load"

Burt watched the multiple sex robots fall to the ground. "Yea, you might wanna cover your eyes, Summer." Rick told summer.

"yea, like It was my dream to watch." Rick turned to Burt who was filming it with his phone.

Burt got his grappling hook and caught the one the flying balls. "Grab hold." He told the two while the robots screamed 'yea baby'

Summer took off her burka. "Grandpa rick, where are we going?" Burt just thought of Sean Connery in a leotard.

Summer: Grandpa Rick, where are we going?

Rick nodded. "Well, obviously, Summer, it appears the lower tier of this society is being manipulated through sex and advanced technology by a hidden ruling class, Sound familiar?"

Summer Gasps. "Ticketmaster," Burt kept look around until two people came from he shadows.

Rick looked at and greeted. "Oh, there - there we go, Summer, Hey - hey, brother, Hey, bro, Nice racket you got going on here, Listen, I'm Rick Sanchez from Earth dimension C-137, Don't mean you any harm, Coming in peace, It's all cool in the, uh - "Good in the neighborhood" is what I was trying to come - is what I meant," The ladies threw down their robes. Burt rolled at this twist since it was too oblivious. "Oh, I get it - the old behind-every-great-man Amazon twist,"

"Silence!" One of the ladies raised their hand, chocking Rick.

"Your slave is ill mannered." Burt grabbed his throat changing his voice and activating the anti chocking function to be safe.

"My slave?" Summer questioned confused.

"We assume you're from a more primitive world, where men are still permitted to be servants, If he is a rogue male, tell us now and we will kill him now." Burt jumped in with feminine voice.

"His my slave! His my slave." Summer said looking at Burt before she said anything.

"Thank you for disciplining him." Burt said now with a feminine voice. Rick fell on the ground. "Here you go dummy." He gave him a flask to drink out of.

Burt followed the ladies to this version of Themyscira. Listening to the warning about the spider and the wetter. They were brought to the leader.

"I am Marsha, ruler of this place, I'm here if you need to talk."

"What is this place?" Summer asked while Burt was scanning the place finding it odd that no elderly were here.

The leader stood up. "Paradise, we built it during the great passiv aggression. When the females, separated from the males do to their increasingly violent behavior." They walked to the next retrieval station. "I am here if you need to talk."

"I am here if you need to talk." The doctor said looking at the droids.

Burt stayed while the rest left. "I am here if you need to talk and more, beautiful." She blushed at that comment. "If you want to know the truth how about we meet after my leader is done talking to yours." He handed her his number.

"I'm not into." He turned it around shocked as it said voice mojilator.

and the fart noise hit the fan. "I'm going to kill him, Burt was in the garage Playing his keytar. He watched the door open and his old car/space ship enter. "What's for breakfast?" Rick as morty "toy" followed him. "Yea, he got that. He thought it looked cool." Burt sighed getting ear muffs.