Burt gave rick his on gift the breakfast table. "Here don't open it until your drunk tank." He left the breakfast table before anyone was able to ask what he meant. He opened a portal to a rest stop next on Titan.
He went into the gas station rest stop inn and sat at the counter. "What's good around." He said to the waitress, everything here was clean and noticing this he went to the bath room, it was sparkling. He came out pointing his gun at the pattern who ran away but the staff looked at him dead eyed. "So which strand? The lich like ones that end up fusing to a super brain, the one that replaces people with plant clones, sucking people dry to grow plant clones?." One ran at him throwing up into his mouth but sadly. "Ok, The worst kind." The Hive mind looked confused. "The part of my brain that is responsible for movement, vomiting and body control is robotic." He then threw up. "and hangovers are the worst." one of the converted space trucker ran at him but burt blew his head off.
They all looked shocked. "Impossible! You're a human one of the dumbest creates in the galaxy." He shot the cook. "I apologize for him." He pointed a second gun at two surviving hosts waitresses. "I only wish to bring unity to the universe." Burt shot a waitress and pointed it at the host.
he took a breath and down. "It's my dads anniversary of being stuck on us like a drunk parasite, I need a place to relax and I find out my relaxation place is controlled by a parasite." He walked into a booth and pressed a button on his gun reviving all the dead. "now get me my usual before, this odd shit happened." They nodded and repaired his meal. "Still having my dad around is annoying, he thought me some skills but," The maid sat infront of him.
She smiled. "but what?" she asked curious about Burt.
He sighed. "But he is a pain in my ass, he can built a miniature black hole but had to use my car to build a f*cking space ship and regularly gets drunk and I defuse his bomb." She nodded surprised that one earthling could create a space ship on their own.
She took a sip of the coffee. "Maybe it's because you build a life for yourself and now you're worried that he will slowly rip that away from you." Burt raised a brow.
"Maybe, his always been possessive and anything that can't be controlled he takes, kinda like you but he ruins everything and brings the most horrible part." The hive mind nodded and a biker spoke up.
"Then why don't you just throw him out?" Burt froze at that remembering the first. Why didn't he just kill and erase everyones memories? Or buy him a cursed item and just not tell? Or tell some government/bounty hunter his on earth.
The hive mind that was the biker slowly went for his gun then stopped. "I couldn't, I'm pretty sure he has a bomb in my neck or a chi-." The elderly hostess spoke up.
"Do you really think that kid? You have smart apple on your head, I don't think you already checked for everything." Burt sighed. "what?"
He laughed. "His the devil and I'm pretty he beat up the devil with his granddaughter/my niece, got ice with her and continued to beating up a bunch of idiots. I was there making sure he didn't anything too stupid." He finished his beer.
His watch exploded. "Oh christ on a toast this better be good!" He opened a warm hole punched one of the ricks and took their portal gun before disappearing in to the portal.
Burt got to the complex and looked at whistling. "Who screwed this up? You could've done the same with three Mortys, force them to listen "Philosophy of the world." Burt got in shooting the door open saw a crowd of Morty's and he pointed his gun at them as they ran fueled by rage and porn withdrawal. "Ok how many of you hates me? Answer honestly." None of them raised their hands. "That's a nice ego boost."
Morty spoke out. "Burt!" Burt smiled and then shot two of incoming monsters. "T-thanks."
"Now where's the Rick and Morty o responsible for this operation?" He pointing with his thumb to the wall of tortured Morty's. "I don't know how long you have been here, soo get me Rick and I will get you all Mcdonalds." They ran toward the location of the Ricks and burt shot the evil one in shoulder before the hoard of them started killing the evil Rick.
"Come you little shits! Kill me!" The evil Rick and screaming. "KILL ME!" Burt shivered being creeped out by the evil ricks last word, he simply shot the asshole in the head.
He looked at Morty freeing rick and saw the hint of malice in Morty's eyes, worrying burt.
Burt was waiting home after the Mortys got freed and he pulled Morty over, he then got Morty to Mcdonalds. "Why are we here?"
Burt sighed. "Because, It felt like he told you things thst you shouldn't have heard." Burt said eating his burger. "This place had this great sauce, I don't know what it was made of but I want it so much." He took a fist full of fries and swallowed them all down. "Anyway what did Rick tell you?" Morty just stared at how his uncle ate fries. "Everytime." He got a memory eraser and shot it at Morty after having that memory erased burt sprayed with something to wake him up.
"W-wha? Wait where did all the fries go?" Burt ordered another one and got back into conversation.
"What did Rick tell you?!" He stood up getting all of morty's and the peoples attention.
"Rick told me I'm a clocking device!" He blurted out, jumps scared by his uncle.
"Oooooh, that makes sense. You shouldn't be worried about that." Morty looked confused. "He might not show it, but he loves you, more then the rest of this family seeing that he left the rest of the family in Cronenberg land."
"Yea, I guess he did." Morty smiled.
"Good I need go to another 200+ McDonald's today." He opened a portal and appeared in hammer morty world.
Evil Morty sat next a Burt In a transport ship. "All go as planed?" He nodded. "You placed the subliminal idea to attack this place?" Evil morty nodded. "What's your next plan sir?" Evil morty smiled looking at the shrinking citadel.
Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. So don't be a jerry and review.