The same day Burt, Rick, and Morty flew through space. "You know it's great being in this spaceship is nice, just the three of us. Nothing like a boys' n-night."

Burt nodded. "Yeah nothing like this, after a week, of getting kidnapped by vampires, Summer almost killing me with Ballons, and that Jerry zombie episode, at least he got beaten up by the eye hole man. I'm staying with you two I'm starting to think Earth is cursed."

Rick drank his beer. "Yea, Seriously Burt you need to get checked if you're cursed. After a mixed bag of years like that, it's good to get back to basics." A giant alien fly gets hit at the windshield.

"W-wow?!" Morty yelled.

"Relax! That's what windshields are for."

"I didn't know there were bugs out in space."

"Yeah, weird thing, there was a seven million-year window where life could just exist in space, it was very cozy."

"Burt's right, let me just clean this up." The wipers tried but failed at cleaning the bug away. Morty looked disgusted. "Jeez Rick, that's disgusting!" He nodded. "Yeah, I'm out of wiper fluid, let me find a place to stop." They landed on a planet.

"They look like cat people," Burt said and Rick stopped next to a lanky catman. "Hey muchacho, do you have wiper fluid yet or are you going to freak out and start worshiping us?"

He pointed. "The general store should have what you need."

Rick nodded. "Yeah, thanks." He looked forward. "Of course, ya wanna be gone by sundown." Rick nodded. "Yea, sure— Wait a minute, why?" The cat man smiled as if he were the head of tourism. "Sundown is when the festival begins."

Morty jumped into the conversation." The festival?" He got excited at the interest. "Huu, well for millennia now our society has been free of crime, war! Living in perfect peace!" Rick looked excited while Burt jumped in. "You have been able to sustain world peace by relieving all your anger and frustration one night a year! Murdering, robing, and other things!" The Lanky smiled. "That's right!"

Morty "WHAT?!" He asked perplexed. Rick just let Burt explain. "It's a purge world, you know the movie purge."

The cat looked surprised "Have you been here before?" Burt shook his head. "No, No, but I have been to a few planets with the same trope." Burt looked giddy. "There was one where they called it the purification, the Harvest night, the bloody lake festival. One just Called it Killy killy bang bang." Morty spoke up. "That's horrible!" Rick nodded. "Yea, wanna check it out?"

Intro plays

Burt is wearing a mask and getting a few weapons out of his pocket and throwing it in the trunk. "I can't believe you're doing this Uncle Burt!" He threw a grande in there, chewing on a candy bar. "Morty I have had a shitty year, I was tasered and tied up to Balloons, we both remember the car battery incident, and don't forget I got my arm ripped off by a monster version of my sister." He sighed Closing the trunk. "I need this." He threw a grenade Inside.

Rick came with wiper fluid. "W-W-We will be back tomorrow, don't do a world war, OK?" Burt nodded and Rick got in his car. Burt got a pitchfork and walked off. Morty tried to open the door. "Rick! Unlock it!" Rick looked at the sunset. "Look at that sunset, Is-isn't it a beautiful sunset, Morty?" Morty kept pulling and stopped to yell. "Stop screwing around!" He opened the door and Morty sat down. "Now we can see," He pressed a button. "There we go. Much better. Now we can see."

Morty gave a passive-aggressive. "Great."

Rick was positive. "Hey, you know what, Morty? Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here by watching a little of this purge through it?" Morty was shocked "What?! No! What is your problem?!" He demanded. Rick got frustrated at Morty's attitude. "Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch, don't watch, but, you know, it's my car. *Belches* Also, if you tell your mom about this, I'll purge you.

Morty gave an angry answer. "You're the worst. And this planet is the worst. How can you be into this? You know, people are gonna kill each other." he reputed him. "So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that [belches] I-if... if there's a video online with someone getting decapitated, you don't click on it?" Morty looked perplexed at Rick. "No! Why... why would I do that? You do that?"

Rick gave a nonchalant answer. "I don't, because it would bore me. I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty. But if you don't do it, I say it's because you're afraid of your own primal instincts. So you stuff them down and Burt takes those Primal instincts and runs with it." Morty crossed his arms.

Bell chimed that the festival had started.

Burt started Impaling a farmer who stole his scythe. His adrenaline pumped as he looked at a man who was about to throw a pitchfork but in response, he threw the scythe at his chest piercing the man's heart and Burt walked toward him and took his mask. "Nice throw!" Burt turned to see it was the store owner. "No, I recognize your game." The old man ran toward some civilians and Burt started collecting some strings, a bow, and a spoon to make a trash bow.

After a few hours, he had bathed himself in blood and headed toward the lighthouse. "Stand back o-o-or Burt? Some good news" He looked at the corpse on the floor and then at Rick and Morty. "I thought you two didn't want to purge."

Morty attempted to explain himself. "I-I didn't! I sat through his stupid script a-a-and—" Burt was laughing. "Let me bet, he wanted criticism and got a little, then he got angry?" Rick nodded "Yeah, that's the jist of it."

Burt nodded and he was oddly cheerful. "Yeah, so whose fault is it this time? I'm betting on Morty because Oh boy teenage boys and cat girls." Rick laughed and Morty looked frustrated. "Now, let's find your car and get off. I'm purged out, made a crossbow out of trash, and spent half of it doing it while covered in blood." he chuckled.

"Yeah, we set the beacon up now, let's hope it gets here soon." Burt helped Rick lean on him. "Thanks, son." They walked in the middle of a field and were surrounded. They saw the cat purgers surrounding them Burt pointed his crossbow at them. "Dammit, oh hey it's the store owner." The old man readied his Mace. "It's me." Burt got a scythe and then the armor maker Mark Three landed. "Morty, Burt." He stepped on the Platform, the other two followed "It's time to purge!"

They got armored and It Feels Good by Drake White started playing from Burt's suit and started killing the mob. Burt and Rick watched Morty rip a boy's spine out and kill the rest. "Shit Morty, whatever, let's find the car and get off this backwater world." They flew through the sky, "Oh there's my ship! Morty, it looks like- Morty?" They turned to see Morty killing and landed next. "Suck my dick! yea, fuck you!" Burt was disgusted. "Hey kid, I think those people were hiding." Morty continued. "Ye-yea Morty let's get to the ship an-and wow, Ok buddy it's time to get yea that's good." Burt and Rick pulled him away from the dead.

They stepped to Arthricia and Rick pointed his laser. "Wait stop, never wanted to hurt you, I am trying to end the festival." Rick was surprised. "W-what do you mean?" Arthricia pointed to the mansion on the hill. "I was going to use your ship to kill the rich assholes who run our society and save my people from the yearly festival." Morty out of character yelled. "Kill her!" Burt looked shocked was Rick. "Yea! Who cares just kill her!" Rick tried to calm him down. "Whoa, Morty purge it down." It infuriated Morty. "Purge, don't purge! You're giving me mixed messages Rick!" Burt stepped to Morty. "Morty Listen to me and calm the fuck down."

Morty punched Burt. " No! Screw you and Rick! I'm going to purge you both, I going to rip your guts out and smear all over your face you two old shit houses." Burt gave him a knocked-out punch. Rick turned to the girl. "I think he meant outhouse. Sorry About that, now where are these rich people?" They flew to the mansion palace, and waited outside while Arthricia put on Morty's armor "So what should we play it feels good?" Rick shrugged. "Your remix or the original?" Burt smirked. "Fine your remix fits here better." Arthricia Kicked the door down. "Yea! Let's fucking do this!" They walked into the mansion after Burt killed all the guards.

"What is the meaning of this?" Rick stepped in front of the guy who looked like Andrew Ryan from Bioshock. " Here's the deal. I'm not here to judge. I'm just a guy from another this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around now things are evened out, so, Arthricia?"

She chopped the dude's head off, The party guests all gasped and panicked. "Suck my dick! Chew on my balls! Choke on my massive cock!" Rick looked shocked. "Wow." She turned to Rick. "Hey, Rick wanna join in?" Burt jumped in and started by ripping a cat a man's balls out shoving them in his mouth kneeing his head off. "That's called the nutcracker!" Rick sighed. "Screw it!" He joined in Burning Two with his armor rocket exhaust. "Yea!" They started dancing on the blood. "Tony! Toni, Toné!" In the morning the crew fixed the space car. "Thanks Rick, you're a pretty nice guy." Rick just took a hit from his flask. "Yea, Fuck you for stabbing me in the kidney." He walked to the car. "Hey morty—" Burt interrupted. "Let's just leave, after that rant I'm turned off." He closed the trunk and Burt drove while Rick slept. "I-I'm so ashamed what I did Burt." Burt sighed. "Yea, but I wouldn't Worry, the candy bars we got it. They have a chemical in them that has purginal, which just turns you into roided up ass hole." Morty looked happy. "Oh Jeez, that's good." Burt nodded, putting it in his pocket. "Listen Being angry is Normal, especially with my dad, but you have to keep a train of thought OK?" Morty nodded. "Good let's get home before school starts because boy I need to get back to work." Another giant alien fly hit the windshield and Burt cleaned it up.

Authors note. I'm sober now!