Beth was crying on the couch. "M-mom are you alright?" She snorted. "Burt was always there, he was the rock that kept me from being swept away. I mean he wasn't a great brother, but we were always there for each other." She started crying harder, taking a drink from her bottle. "Now he's gone and I don't know what to do."

Morty collected his words. "Listen, Mom, w-we know Uncle Burt wouldn't just leave and I believe that he will come back and make fun of dad. I-I mean he's wanted by these guys because they're afraid of him! So-so wherever he is I trust Uncle Burt more than Rick. Burt wouldn't leave us for no reason" Beth put the bottle down. "Thanks, Morty, let's get back to bed before the robot reports us."

In the prison interrogation room in Burt's mind.

Burt ate his breakfast and enjoyed his coffee. "Enjoying your meal?" Burt nodded. "Oh fuck yea! After the bread and water you call food, this is so good." the bug nodded. "We got the best for you Burt, so could you explain how you recreated Portal tech?" Burt looked offended. "You waste eating bugs arrested me and my dad there's no way I'm giving you shit. So I want complete immunity and the earth to be removed from the Galactic government." The Bug gulped. "I can't do that Burt. And we know the longer we are here." The world shook, They looked out of the window at a past version of him holding a woman, crying his eyes out. "Is that a scarring memory? Maybe what forced you to recreate portal travel?" Burt sighed. "If I show you how to do portal travel will you leave me the hell alone?" He nodded.

Jerry sighed contently, having gotten a job and Rick was gone. "I tell ya, the Galactic Federation taking over Earth - best thing that's ever happened to this family. I just got my sixth promotion this week, and I still don't know what to do." Summer frustrated "Who cares how high they promote you? Everyone just gets paid in pills."

Jerry in a condescending tone. "Well, when you're not sure what you do for a living, you can make your own rules."

Beth came to her husband's defense, even if it was because she was depressed. "Summer, show your father some respect. He's pulling down a six-chewable figure income." She threw the bottle away. Conroy came with the pills. "I'll get that in a moment. How are everyone's pills? Oh, Morty, you've hardly touched your pills." Is asked in a worried fake tone.

Morty having been playing with his pills before, answered. "I kind of had big pills for lunch, and I" The Robot took the plate. "I wasn't gonna eat any more pills." And poured all the pills down his throat. Morty swallowed. "Thank you, Conroy."

Jerry smiled. "You spoil us, Conroy."

Summer Slams her hands on the table "Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up with this!" Beth Bangs fist on the table. "Stop saying his name! He abandoned us, your uncle would be disappointed in you." Jerry Bangs fist on the table, because he wants to be a part of the conversation. " Willem Dafoe! That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning."

Beth pointed at her daughter and started a lecture. Don't make my mistake, Summer. Don't deify the people that leave you. You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens whose medicine keeps horses" She Sobbed tearing up. "healthy forever." Beth cried. "Horses live longer than tortoises now. Is that what you want for yourself?"

Summer stood up and ran up and stared. "Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! " Conroy came with a dish. "Who saved room for pill brûlée?"

Jerry sounded excited. "Ooh!" He chuckled with glee.

A few hours later, Summer digs through the garage. "Huh? What are you - What are you doing?" Morty asked.

She was frantically attempting everything. "Grandpa Rick must have some secret lab, right? With, like, laser guns, jet packs, and a space tank! And we can go break him out of prison! Look at these dead flies! Maybe if we arrange them in a certain order, it plays a hologram or it opens a secret door." She moved the flies and looked behind the shelves. "Maybe there's something in Uncle Burt's attic." Morty stopped her.

"Summer, you're freaking me out. I know things have changed a lot, and I know you miss Rick, but getting him back wouldn't make things better. And, you know, we're not doing so bad." Morty said optimistically.

But Summer didn't see it that way. "We're miserable, Morty! There's a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, and they weaponized the Eiffel Tower!" She told Morty her frustration boiling. "Hey, I like being 35. I-I can rent a car now." Summer threw anger at Morty. "Because you suck. You've been keeping your lip zipped about it since Grandpa got arrested, but the fact is, you're freaking stoked to bail on him and Burt."

Morty was offended by that remark. "Rick bails on everybody! He bailed on Burt and Mom when they were kids! He - He bailed on Tiny Planet! And in case I never made this clear to you, Summer, he bailed on you. He left you to rot in a world that he ruined because he doesn't care! Because nobody's special to him, Summer, not even himself."

Summer interrupted him. "What about Uncle Burt?!" Morty bit his lip. "Burt never bails on us! Uncle Burt has been bailing us out since we were in diapers, if he trusts Rick then Rick will be back! "

Morty in a fit of anger, unintentionally gave Summer a great Idea "If you really want your grandpa back, grab a shovel. The one that won't leave is buried in your backyard!"

"You're right!" She grabbed a Shovel and went to the backyard.

"What?! No, I'm not right. I-I was using ghoulish overkill! Ghoulish overkill, Summer!" Summer grunting, Thunder boomed "Oh, God! Oh, God!" Summer unburied Rick's grave. "Whoa, whoa!" Thunder crashes as Morty in fear sees the portal gun in a green glow.

Burt drove the car to a university. "Oh fuck yea, Burger King knew how to make them." He said eating a Dutch apple pie. "Seriously this beats those stupid apples whatever they have at Mcies." He Just took another one and swallowed it whole, not biting. "Burt you're dying!" Burt swallowed. "Shut up, they stopped making these alright, this is the last place I get these. In my head." He led him to a research lab. He threw an intern through a blue portal.

His lab assistants clapped. "Looks like Your theories were correct." Burt smiled at her. "Sooner or later we will get to interdimensional travel." The bug man's mouth thing got aroused. Burt cleaned up the lab. "Venessa where are we going for our date?" They followed the two on their date, loving joking, and making fun of some of their colleagues and assistants. "What does this have to do with you recreating portal travel?"

Mind Burt sighed. "Vanessa was my muse, my everything, and my inspiration. The mind is a weird thing, it can't create new concepts or ideas, it's a calculator that uses, combines, and alters the universe. Why do you think there's a thing like a eureka moment?" Burt suddenly had an amazing moment as Venessa was playing with her noodles. "I want your brains! Aah!" Burt laughed and then looked at the plate. "I wait, that's how!" Burt and Vennase dined and dashed to their car. Bug man looked at Burt. Burt's face took on a saddened look. "Be patient you might only live a year longer, we're reaching the finally." They followed the couple into the lab as they built a Stargate. "Is that a star—?" Burt interrupted. "A prototype before the wormhole gun."

Thunder crashed. "Summer, nobody has to know about that. We could put it right back and pretend we never saw it, like we did with Dad's mannequin leg." He pleaded yet summer was in her moment.

Summer looked at Morty angry. "Fine, stay here. I'll rescue Grandpa myself." She fiddled with the portal gun.

Morty asked "And how are you gonna do that?" he demanded

Summer tried to Figure out how the portal gun worked. "I don't know yet. I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grandpa Rick does. That's what heroes do." She told Morty confidently.

"Y-You want to see what a hero Rick is? I-I'll bring you somewhere, Summer. Um... " He took the portal gun from summer and tried to remember how to input the location.

The robot butler came out. "My goodness, children." Sternly changed into combat mode. "Relinquish the illegal technology to the nearest Federation representative." Then took his servant-mode voice. "And then we'll all play Balderdash." Both run away whimpering as the robots grab them both. Morty opens a Portal and falls in screaming and opens another into the butt world, the robot pulls them out of the butt world and gets shot. "Oh, my goodness! Oh, oh! My goo- Crackling gets shot multiple times. "Oh, my God. Uncle Burt!" Summer hugged him and Burt pulled her away. "Ok, what happened? And btw Thanks for leaving me here, jerk," Burt told Morty. "I didn't plan on it." Summer was confusing. "Um, what's with Walking Dead Burt?" Morty explained. "This is my Burt and this place used to be my home."

—

Vanessa looked at a star gate bridge-like device. "We did it!" Vanessa yelled out. "We're going to be famous!" Then a bomb popped out of the portal and exploded. "NOOO!" Both Burt's yelled. The bug man looked at the notes. "Are these?" Burt nodded looking at his younger self and his fiancé ring bloodied holding her. "Those are the segments of code that killed my heart and turned me into a monster, and so did every other Burt." Bug man got his phone copied. "Oh, Goodie." The bug man smiled. "Well, I will tell them to turn off the brainilizer or just leave it on. Get me out of here. Hey, what's wrong with this thing."

Burt chuckled. "You should really make sure you're out of the Waffle House." The walls around the collapsed and reformed Waffle House. "Oh my god. Repeat it's fake! We're still in the Waffle House! I'm still in the Waffle House!" He talked into the watch. "It's a trap!" The watch spat into the bug's eye. "All done boys. Bye, let's see how the prison breaks treat you. Just so you know not everything is coming with me. I'm leaving you my hatred of cats, the urge to count by the segments of my fingers, my irrational love for cottage cheese, and my stocking fetish." Burt's mind traveled from his original body to a robot guard. "You ok there?" He killed the bug and went to Rick's interrogation room.

—

Burt ate Cronenberg with a knife and fork. "So h-how are you?" Morty asked. "Good, Kinda shit of you to leave me here." Morty sank. "Uncle Burt, we need your help, to break you out of prison." Summer said and Burt shrugged. "I already sent my Family into space so they can have space adventures and not be stuck on this piece of shit." Morty looked at Burt. "T-then why're you here?" Burt looked at Morty. "In case they need me Morty." Ricks came out of portals. "YOU F*CKERS!" Burt pulled out his guns only to get frozen. They pointed their guns at Morty. "Hold your fire! Hold your fire! I'm Morty C-137."

The captain of this squad stepped up. "We detected a compromised portal gun. Where is your Rick?" Summer, not trusting Morty, jumped to Rick. "He's in prison."

Morty spoke in a worried tone. "Summer."

She continued to explain. "He got captured by the Federation and we were going to rescue him."

Guard Rick. "Very troubling. We can't risk Citadel secrets falling into the Federation's hands. We'll dispatch S.E.A.L. Team Ricks immediately to break into the prison holding C-137."

Summer is celebrated. "Boo-yah."

The guard Rick however ruined the moment. "And assassinate him."

Summer spoke in a disappointed tone. "Boo-nah?"

—

Burt Bot came in and murdered most of the Seal team, Rick. "Wait, we have your Summer and Morty!" Body swapped Rick shot the last seal team Rick member. "Burt you there?"

Robot made a hologram of Burt. "Yea, what now?" Alarms went off but Burt turned them off. "Dammit, I forgot how to improvise," Burt smirked. "I didn't, looks like we're taking out two governments." Rick took the seal team Rick's ship and went to the citadel. While Burt hacked into the prison system once the citadel teleported in, Burt released the criminals.

Chaos ensued as Burt killed his way to the mainframe computer. He waited and once Rick came the robot greeted the kids. "What took you so long?" Morty and Summer looked excited. "UNCLE BURT!" They were already used to their uncle taking over robots and hugging him. "Do the honors Dad, teach these kids how to dismantle a government."

The kids cheered again. "Awesome!"

Summer asked first. "Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other?" Then Morty joined in. "Ooh, or - or reprogram their military portals to disintegrate their entire space fleet?"

Rick smiled. "Good pitches, kids. I'm almost proud. But watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire by changing a one... to a zero." The kids didn't look impressed.

Robot Burt explained. "Their money is now worthless."

Both ooohed. "It doesn't need to be flashy, whatever let's get back home, first let's get Burt a new body, I bet there's a cloning shop here." Rick opened a portal.

On Earth the Galactic government collapsed, the sewer people rose and Jerry crawled across the ground back home doing his best not to get murdered. Beth looked out the porch to see the neighbor's homes flying off earth. "Jerry, what the hell is happening?!" Beth panicked.

"The galactic government collapsed," Jerry said, terrified.

Beth asked with concern "Are you okay?"

"Look, I-I'm not proud to share this, but the truth is, I just kept crawling, and it kept working." Shed Gasps places a hand on Jerry's check. Oh, I'm glad you're okay." Jerry took Beth's hand off his cheek. "Are we ever going to stop paying for indulging your father? Our children, our planet, our jobs? Is there anything left to lose?" He asked worriedly.

Beth answered. "Just each other, and I'll never let you go. And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us. "

Rick, Morty, Summer, and Burt came out of a portal. "Guess dismantled the government!" Beth ran to Burt and Rick and hugged them. "Never leave me again."

Burt answered. "Over my dead body is."

"He turned himself in on purpose. It was all part of his plan!" Summer explained excitedly."

Burt turned to Jerry. "Jerry, is there any light beer left? I need to christen this new tongue."

Jerry was still in shock yet decided finally grow a spine, the fucking coward. "Um... okay. No. No, no, no. Foot down time."

Rick agreed for different reasons. "No, you're right. Where's the vodka?"

"Beth, it's him or me!" Everyone looked shocked.

"Seems like you guys need some privacy. I'll, uh - I'll be in the garage." He and Burt left and so did everyone else. "What the F*k! Not cool, Jerry! A man's garage is his castle." He lined up the flies to change the Garage back. "How do you know how to line that up?" Beth came in. "Jerry's going to... spend some time... divorced." Rick faked sympathy. "Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. I hope I had nothing to do with that." Beth had a small panic. "Oh, God, Dad, that is not your burden to bear. I feel terrible that I misjudged you. This is gonna be good for Jerry." Rick gave a wink. "For everybody. For everybody." Summer and Morty came in the Garage.

"I better tend to Jerry before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. I will leave you two to your adventures."

Summer got a Text. "Oh, my God. Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens in the school courtyard, and it technically counts as patriotism." She left. "Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced?"

Burt placed a hand on Morty's shoulder. "Morty don't worry, Rick and I are still here and we will do our best, get back to your room." Morty smiled and left the room. "All right, Rick, I'm gonna go to my Warehouse" Rick stopped Burt. "Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. We've got adventures to go on, Morty - just you and me - And sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, Sometimes Burt, but never your dad. You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me."

Burt looked worried. "Okay, take it easy, Dad. I knew the plan and it was dark, but honestly, Jerry is my least favorite person."

"Oh, it gets darker, Morty. Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. The first different thing - No more Dad, Morty. He threatened to turn me into the government, so I made him and the government go away."

Burt panicked. "Oh! Shit, they used the cheap one of you!" Rick continued. "I've rep*burps*laced them both as the de facto patriarch of your family and your universe. Your mom wouldn't have accepted me if I came home… "he paused." ...without you and your sister, so now you know the real reason I rescued you. I just took over the family, Morty, and if you tell your mom... or sister I said any of this, I'll deny it, You're gonna deny it and they'll take my side because I'm a hero, Morty. And now you're gonna have to go... ...and do whatever I say, Morty, forever! And I'll - I'll go out and I'll find some more of that "Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty."

Burt sighed closing the garage door. "This shit again?" Rick continued his rant. "Because that's that's what this is all about, Morty." Burt sighed sitting on a chair and listening to his rant. "That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty!" Burt looked shocked at that. "That was fake. I-I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce. I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty."

Burt was rubbing his head. "Wait, do you actually care?" Rick continued. "If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty. That's what's gonna take us all the way to the end, Morty. Season - Nine more seasons, Morty. Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce. For 97 more years, Morty!" Burt looked inside the drawers." I want that McNugget sauce, Morty!" Burt injected him with a tranquilizer. "Cheep fucking bastards," Burt said, placing Rick on his chair and putting a helmet on Rick's head. "What's going on?" Beth asked.

"Dad's having a brainilizer moment, the cheap bastards used an old model, and now he's repeating the things he wanted inside there. Don't worry I will fix him up. Also, tell Morty that Rick loves him." Beth Awwed and left. "Dead family huh?" Burt asked curiously.

authors note: Two chapters within a month. I'm killing it! Ok, I'm taking bets on who killed Vanessa. The ending kinda wanted it to be the effect of the brainilizer because, in season one the reason for the rant kinda made sense was because Morty wouldn't remember, here it felt off so I had Burt be here instead because the kid needs a break. Also I wanted the title be a reference to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, then realized Rick and Morty already did that. So guess what the title is referencing.